about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

Me and my boyfriend andrew have been dating for about 11 months..a long time i know but lately i dont feel the same about him anymore. i mean i dont want to feel like i wasted a whole year on someone that im just gonna change my mind about but i cant help it. lately he has been getting on my nerves and embarrasing me in the littlest ways. and plus i just started liking another one of my friends named ryan, he seems perfect for me but i have liked him before and it didnt turn out so good. lets just say i got shot down and i really liked him. now i kind of got the hint from him that he kinda likes me but i have no idea what to do. if i break up with my boyfriend i dont want to see him all depressed because i care about him alot i just dont love him anymore, i would still want to be friends with him but i dont know if he would want to be friends with me. please help me!

You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone you have no feelings for. A relationship like that is unfullfilling, and staying in it will only succeed in making you unhappy. That's going to affect him, too.
It would be best for both of you if you ended it now. Doing so would help you sort out your feelings, and it would give your boyfriend the opportunity to find someone he cares about who feels the same way about him.

Even though I think you should end things with your boyfriend, I DON'T think that you should go out with this other guy immediately after the split.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I have to write a paper comparing and
contrasting my best friends. I thought it
would be a great oppurtunity to start with
a friendship quote. My problem is that one
of my best friends is a guy, and the other is
a girl. Most quotes are too girly to work
for both. Does anyone have any sites or
specific quotes that would be appropriate for
school and for my paper? Thanks!

The best quote site, by FAR, is thinkexist.com. It has more mature quotes that have actually come out of the mouths of notable people. Anyway, here's the direct link to the friendship section of the site:

http://en.thinkexist.com/quotations/friendship/

Here's another good site, if you need more:

http://www.friendship.com.au/quotes/

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I started going out with my current boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year in high school. Since then he's gotten to know alot of new people. When he first asked me out he was shy, cute, and sensitive. A total opposite of me. (which i loved!) I just don't understand why he chose me! There are tons of girls who would love to have him glance their way. I'm weird, nerdy, and lets just say that I'm not hott or sexy. But he puts up with me and is very loyal and sweet. ( which amazes me.) But i still can't help feeling jealous when someone starts flirting with him right in front of me! what are they, stupid??? I mean, I get so mad when little 8th graders start yelling,"hey hottie! why don't you leave that over there ("that" meaning me) and come sit with me!" Why should I get jealous!?!? I know everyone gets jealous, but when I'm with him i get mad at the littlest thing. I get so worked up that I don't want to get 'intimate '(nonsexual) . And when we're not together, like after a date, I feel really bad. I would love it if you could give me some type of strategy to help clam down. Thanks Amanda

-Someone you know

Your jealousy is justified, in a way. I mean, this guy means a lot to you, and you don't want to lose him (especially to another girl).
But this jealousy can also be tied to your insecurity. You think that because you say that you're "weird, nerdy, and not hot or sexy," that he'll dump you when he sees a girl he thinks is "hot" or when another girl gives him attention. That's not true, and I'll prove it to you.

Let's say you're out with friends. You see a random guy that you know from school who just happens to be really, really hot. He comes over and talks to you and your friends, and gives you a lot of attention. While this may make you feel good, does it make you like your boyfriend any less? Probably not, and the same goes for him: Just because other girls pay attention to him, doesn't mean he'll leave or be unfaithful to you.

Remember that he's known a ton of girls for a LONG time. Even when he asked you out, and before that, he knew a lot of girls, and has had a lot of girls like him. But, he chose you. If he really likes you (and believe me, he does), no amount of flirting from any girl can change that.

There isn't really a strategy to make you stop feeling this way. You just have to have confidence (and faith!) in him, you, and the relationship. If he hasn't done anything to betray your trust, you don't have anything to worry about. Don't let your jealousy get to you, because you're so much more amazing than you'll ever know.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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can anyone tell me what the song, champagne supernova, by oasis is about? and what does champagne supernova mean??

thanks

xx

I love that song! Anyway, I tried SongMeanings, but it didn't have a good answer, so I found one on this site:

http://experts.about.com/q/Oasis-542/Champagne-Supernova.htm

This is another website, which also explains the origin of the name of the song:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champagne_Supernova

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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13/f
I only like the guys that like me. I'm intimidated the guys that I really do like and I feel like he'll never like me. So whenever a guy likes me first I feel braver. I end up liking the guy that liked me first.
Am I just desperate? I know that I don't have to worry about if he likes me, so I just want to be with him, even if I really don't like him. Am I desperate for a boyfriend?

I have a friend who is just like you. She finds out a guy likes her, she ends up liking him for a while, they go out, and then she breaks up with him because she's sick of him. So, you're not the only girl who does this.

You said that the guys that you REALLY like intimidate you. It doesn't mean that you're desperate; You just like the attention that the guys give you, not the guy himself.

I think that you need to have more confidence in yourself. You need to believe that you're worthy of being liked. You may not think you are, but you are! Look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I look good today!" Stop telling yourself that you're ugly, fat, etc. Love yourself, and others will, too.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Okay I like this boy but I don't think he has any interest in me. He might because I catch him staring at me. And then he looks over at me at times too. But thats it. All the rest of the girls flirt with him and I get real jealous when they talk. I don't know whats wrong all I want is to be with him or at least get him to notice me. I mean he knows who I am but I don't think he likes me in the way I do. What do I do?

Well, if you catch him staring at you, then he definitely notices you. Have you two ever talked? If not, then he could want to talk to you and not know what to say or how to approach you.

If he doesn't have to courage to go up to you and start a conversation, save him the trouble and approach him. If you're shy, it may seem hard, but it's actually very easy with practice.
You can ask him about the assignment your teacher just gave you, or about the homework from last night. You could also compliment him; That'll be a good, subtle way of letting him know that you're interested. Don't overdo it, though! Basically, don't compliment him about everything he wears or does.

Be nice, and be yourself.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one on my inbox!
-Manders

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I have a crush on this guy that is in my english class. We are total opposites, but i cant help but to like him. I mean, he is popular, and I am just plain normal. I dont know him very well, but i really want to get to know him. Only, I am scared that he is a jerk (most popular kids in my school are). So anyways, any advice on how to make him notice me?

You should be friends first. That way, you can see if this guy is really worth your time and effort. You probably already knew that, but I just wanted to put the idea out there anyway.

Also, don't automatically assume that he's mean. I've had so many first impressions of people I've liked, and they've usually been wrong.

The best way to get a guy to notice you is to talk to him. If it sounds simple, that's because it really is! There's no secret for getting a guy to notice you. Talk to him about the book you're reading for English, or ask him for the homework assignment. People love compliments, so you could tell him that you like his shirt or something along those lines.

When it comes to body language, be open and nice. Smile. Don't cross your arms or legs. Don't look away from him; Look into his eyes a few times. That automatically makes you seem more open and easier to talk to.

Don't let his "popularity" intimidate you! He's a person, just like we are. Be confident in yourself! Take the risk. If you don't, later on, you'll look back on this and wonder what could have been, and regret not trying to get to know him better.
If he's a jerk, it's his loss, not yours.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I'm a 19 year-old female who's dating a 26 year-old male. We have a lot of problems because of our age difference, but there's one major problem that I don't quite understand.

My boyfriend is constantly trying to have sex with me. Mind you, since our fifth month into dating, we've been boinking. However, over the past year or so, he's persistant in his efforts to have sex with me, even when I don't want to. I'll tell him I don't feel like it and he just keeps bugging me, saying things like "You don't need this shirt" and then trying to pull my shirt off over my head while we're watching a movie. Or, more often, complaining that "sex fixes everything" because it makes him feel better. When I explain that it makes me feel terrible to have sex when I don't want to, he insists that it won't.
So, we never have any time to talk about things or even go out because we're stuck at home fighting about sex. I don't even like to kiss him anymore because he takes it as a sign that I want to "do it". Most of the time I just give in because I'm tired of fighting and then feel cheap and bad the rest of the time I'm with him.
I've tried to talk to him about it and I've tried to explain it to him, but he just doesn't seem to care.

What should I do?

A boyfriend is supposed to make you feel special and loved. He should treat you with the ultimate respect. Judging by what you said, he doesn't do any of these. He pressures you to have sex, and by just having a sexual relationship with you, he's taking advantage of you.

I think you should end the relationship. It doesn't matter if you've been together 4 years, 4 months, or 4 days; You don't deserve this pain. You deserve someone who treats you with respect, and who doesn't pressure you to do things you aren't comfortable with. You need to be with somebody who you can kiss, and know that the guy will stop there.

You already gave him a chance. You let him know that you want more than just a sexual relationship. He didn't take the chance to change, and that's his problem, not yours. It's time to let this guy go. Like I said, you deserve so much better.

It may not be easy to move on, but it will happen. Remember that nothing bad lasts forever; There's always something good around the corner, waiting to happen.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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This is the question that you previously answered:
"Which is better, an Ipod video or Ipod nano?
I have the choice of which one I want to get as my xmas gift. I know Ipod video has alot more memory but aside from memory size, which is more convinient for me?"
Here are some clarifications of my situation and details which I would like to know...
For xmas I asked for an Ipod video. My parents said they asked around to people they knew and most said that if they could start over that they'd get a nano. So that's what they got me for xmas; an Ipod nano. When I opened it they said that I could exchange it for an Ipod video while paying the difference (money is not a problem). I know that the nano is alot smaller in both physical and memory size but then again that could be better. What I'm wondering is that which is more convienient. I don't know if you have either but yea. I know Ipod videos are bigger in size but they're not thaat big right. Anyways I've done plenty of research on Ipods on the Apple website and they're both great music players but which should I choose?
Thanks ALOT for answering.♥=]

I used to have an iPod Nano, and it was fine. It was the 2GB, which held 500 songs. Now, there is an iPod Nano that has 4GB, which holds about 1,000 songs, but that's beside the point. I just want you to know that I have experience with both.

Okay, first of all: Are you a BIG music listener? Do you think that you need a lot of space for a lot of songs? If so, go for the video iPod. Also, if you like movies, or TV shows, the video iPod is the way to go. It may be bigger, but it's not obnoxiously huge or anything like that. The size isn't a burden, at least for me.

However, if you're planning on using your iPod for listening to while you work out or something like that, and if you aren't a huge music fan, go for the Nano.

Most people I know who have a Nano, want to get the iPod video. I switched from the Nano to the video and I don't regret it at all.

Honestly, I'd go for the video iPod, but it depends on what you're using it for. I think it's more convenient, though. (Because it can hold videos AND a lot of songs)

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave another one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I always look at the bad side of things. So basically that makes me sad or worried all the time. How can I become more optimistic and see the good side of things? =]

Honestly, there's no "big secret" to becoming an optimist, nor does it happen overnight. Believe me, I used to be a complete pessimist, but I changed my attitude, and managed to become an optimist. It's not as simple as it sounds, but that's really what happened. I'll go into more detail about what I did to change.

Optimists and pessimists have everything in common. Both have similar lives, with good times and bad times. The only difference? Their attitudes. A pessimist, like you said, looks on the negative side of situations. An (healthy) optimist will see the negative, and accept it, while focusing on the positive. The reason I said "healthy" optimist is because there IS such a thing as being too positive. (For instance, thinking that you shouldn't lock your doors at night because you have so much faith in people that you think that no one would break into your house.)

Like I said, I'm a pessimist-turned-optimist, so I definitely know what you're feeling right now. First of all, have faith in yourself. You have every reason to believe that you can change your attitude and become an optimist. I have faith in you, and others do as well, so why not have faith in yourself?
That's the first step. You have to overcome your destructive thoughts. (The pessimistic thoughts; thinking that you can't achieve your goal.) A pessimist usually doesn't believe in herself. Well, you're not gonna be a pessimist anymore, so start believin'! =]

Now, you need to start using your newfound optimism in everyday life. This is actually more simple than you may think. Like I said before, there's no big secret to optimism.

Take a look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? You're probably thinking something negative, such as, "Wow, my nose is HUGE!" Well, stop it right now! Whenever you start thinking of something negative, stop. Look at the other features on your face. Think, "Wow, I have pretty eyes. I've never noticed that before." Now, I'm not saying that you should go out and start bragging, but you need to say these things to yourself, and be honest. More than likely, if you focus on the bad, you won't notice the good.

I'm not going to lie to you: No matter how optimistic and happy you may get, bad times are going to happen. It's like that in everybody's life. But, you're an optimist now, so you need to look at the bad times differently. Without the bad times, we couldn't appreciate the good times. Really, without the bad times, we wouldn't even know the difference! Think of them that way. Talk to someone you trust if you need to. Remember that all things do pass, and that bad times are usually followed by something great.

I know this is long, and I'm sorry. But I just thought you'd like to hear everything from someone whose been where you are now. I'm here, and I have faith in you!

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Which is better, an Ipod video or Ipod nano?
I have the choice of which one I want to get as my xmas gift. I know Ipod video has alot more memory but aside from memory size, which is more convinient for me? 16/f btw

I used to have a black iPod Nano, but I switched to the video iPod. First of all, the space. I listen to A LOT of music, and the Nano just didn't have enough space for me. Also, it's nice to be able to have videos on your iPod for long car/plane rides and things like that.

When it comes to durability, video iPods are definitely better. I know people who sat on their Nanos and they broke very easily. Also, I remember the first day I got my Nano, it got a bunch of surface scratches on it. (Just by normal use!) I've had my Video iPod for about six months, and it barely has any.

So, to sum it up: Video iPods are more expensive, but they are more durable and convenient. Trust me: It's worth the investment.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Whats the different between lust and love? How do you know if youre just "lusting" someone?

I'm glad you asked this question, actually. So many people (usually teenagers) confuse the two words.

Lust is, in a nutshell, physical attraction. An example is if you're walking down the street and you see someone really, really good-looking. You turn to your friend and say, "Wow, that guy/girl is really hot!" One night stands and random hook-ups are almost always based on lust.

Love is the strongest emotion a person can feel or express. A lot of people say that it's impossible to explain, in words, what love feels like and what it does to a person. I'll try to explain it.
Love is caring for someone, inside and out. While lust is entirely superficial, love is the opposite. Of course, you can be physically attracted to someone and still love them, but love is more than that. It means knowing someone, the good and the bad, and accepting and caring for them. A lot of people who are in love would lay down their lives for that loved one.

I don't know if you're a Christian or not, and I'm not trying to shove any Christian beliefs down your throat or anything, but the verses from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 describe love pretty well; a lot better than I can. Here they are:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."

Just because you aren't in love with someone, doesn't mean that you're "lusting" for them. You can like someone, personality and all, but not love them or JUST be "lusting" for them. Chances are, you'll like most of the people you date, but you won't fall in love with all of them.

Love is stronger than lust. For instance, imagine there are two people in a fire: One of them was very good-looking, and the other was your boyfriend/girlfriend of a year. (You didn't specify your gender, so I don't know which one you would have.) Which would you save first: the lover, or the hot guy/girl?
That's just a way of distinguishing the two emotions, and to show you the strength of true love.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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15.female.Texas.

I'm 15, freshman, still havent gotten my frist kiss! Ugh so frusterating! But in this area like 50% of people havent gone out wit someone yet or kisses someone. Is this weird? and makes me frusterated! Wat can I do?

Like pretty much everyone who answered this question before me has said, a first kiss is something worth waiting for. Most of my friends that have had their first kisses either got them from guys they didn't stay with for a long time, or a guy that wasn't special to them. So in reality, you have the upper hand here. You have the chance to get your first kiss from a guy who really means something to you, and who feels the same way about you.

Don't kiss just any guy. I'm not saying that you would do this, but some girls get so desperate that they'll kiss just any guy. A first kiss is something to be remembered and cherished, and the experience should be shared with someone that you really like and care for. Kissing just any guy defeats the purpose, and you'll more than likely regret it.

Some of the best things in life (like your first kiss) are worth waiting for, I promise!

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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15/f

I was decorating the Christmas tree last year when suddenly it fell over. All of my ornaments (from generations and generations.. and the ones I had been collecting since I was born) were suddenly broken.

Just now I was decorating the tree this year thinking I have so much good in my life but I am not happy and I should try harder (I am constantly trying to improve my life.) But then I dropped an ornament and it reminded me of last year.

I work so hard for everything, but I know how easily it all falls apart and how disappointed I am. Should I see the omen of the falling ornament and stop trying to avoid disappointment? Or do I keep trying to improve my life and self?

I fear disappointment and know it will happen eventually, no matter how hard I try. Maybe I should just give up.

Any words of advice would make a huge difference in my decision.

Thanks so much

Should you stop trying to avoid disappointment? In a way, yes, and in a way, no. Let me explain.

Avoiding disappointment completely is trying to be perfect, and to seem perfect to other people. Well, perfection is impossible. You're going to make mistakes, and there will be times when you fail. Trying to be perfect all the time is time-consuming, not to mention a waste of time.

But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try your best at everything you do and give it your all. It's just that sometimes, your best isn't going to be as good as someone else's. There will also be times that your best will be better than someone else's. Everyone is good, mediocre, or bad at different things. That's what makes the world so wonderful and diverse.

Understand that you can be great, but to try to be perfect is really what sets you up for disappointment, since your desire for it will never be fulfilled. Instead, learn to accept that people will let you down, and at times, you'll let yourself down, too. Know that you will make mistakes, but learn from them. But never doubt that you can succeed if you put forth the effort, and believe in yourself.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I have a friend that says why dwell on the past (such as negative comments that were made, anything that upsets you) when the present and the future will bring so much joy. Do you agree with what my friend says and what is your reason for agreeing or disagreeing?

I agree with your friend. Sure, the past wasn't all happy moments, and the future won't be any different. But, you can learn from your mistakes from the past and make sure that you don't do the same thing again. You can't change the past, so learn from it. Let your mistakes make the future better for you; Gain wisdom from them.
Also, (And I've learned this from experience) whenever it feels like there's no reason to have hope anymore, and you feel depressed and down... It usually means that something great and wonderful is just around the corner.

Life is full of good and bad times. But without the bad times, how would you know the difference?

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Where do I even begin? My name is Shawn and I am seventeen years old. I first realized that I was gay in middle school but have been in denial about it until my sophomore year in high school. Only recently have I been contemplating coming out to my friends and family. I first set aside October 1, 2006 to come out, but it has not happened. I know there are a lot of friends I would lose if they knew the truth. I also have no idea how my parents will react. I think I respect a lot of my friends and family too much to let them down like this. Earlier in the month, I tried coming out to my mother. I virtually broke down in tears in front of her but could not work up the nerve to do so. I eventually ended the conversation with some bogus story about stress at school. I am also pretty much terrified of talking to my father about anything, let alone coming out to him that I am a homosexual.

I find myself bringing up this kind of topic in various conversations with my friends and family. My mother and I began talking about the topic of gay people coming out and she said something very discouraging to me. “I do not see why people come out that they are gay. There is no black and white. Coming out that you are gay causes people to only know you for that.” When I countered this statement, she asked me, “You’re not gay, are you?” I replied, “No,” and I have regretted it everyday since then. I always ask myself how easy it would have been to just have answered, “Yes, mom. I am gay.”

Everyone around me seems to know that something is wrong. People have pointed out that I am not eating and there is lack of emotion in my voice. My mother specifically said that she is only getting one-worded answers from me and feels that we are growing apart. I do not really know what kind of help I am asking for. I just really wish I knew what to do or to know that someone cared, which is impossible since I have not confined this information to anyone. Any suggestions or opinions are welcome. Thank you.

These kinds of situations really let you know who your true friends are. You say that you would lose friends if you came out. But think about it; If you've known these people, are comfortable with them, and trust in them, does it really matter if you're gay? You're still the same person. A TRUE friend would see this, and you wouldn't lose your friendship because of it. If someone stops being your friend because of your sexuality, they aren't worth your time anyway.

You also said that you don't want to let your loved ones down. Being gay would NOT let them down. In fact, I think that not being true to yourself would let them down more. You need to have self-confidence. That fear of pain, the worry... It's all getting in the way of you living your life, and it's eating you away inside. You know why, though? It's because you haven't told anyone. You even said that you haven't trusted anyone with your secret until now. In any situation, it always helps to tell someone. If you don't, your emotions will just continue to eat you away inside, and you don't want that. You don't have to tell your friends or family just yet, if you still aren't comfortable with it. You can talk to your school guidance counselor (if you're still in school) or a therapist. I'm pretty sure that there are some hotlines you can call that have people you can talk to about it.

I also want to address what your mom said. Sure, if you came out, you might be known for that. Some people will admire it, while some may not. I'm not going to lie and say that everyone is going to accept your sexuality. Some people won't, but like I said, those kinds of people aren't worth your time.

You don't seem to have high self-confidence, which is part of what's holding you back from coming out. Confidence can't be gained overnight, it has to build up over time. You need to love, respect, and accept yourself.

Love yourself. Everything. The good, the bad. Your strengths, your weaknesses. All of it. Look at yourself in the mirror, and say, "I am me. I love myself. I have friends and family who all love me very much. I'm cared for." Say talents you have, and things you like about yourself. Also, be positive. Instead of expecting the worst, realize that good things can happen. (because they can!)

Respect yourself. That means that you should be honest with yourself and others. You're gay. You tell yourself that, and you know that. But you're hurting youself when you keep it from the ones you love. Your sexuality is a big part of you, and you want your friends and family to know about it. I can tell that just by what you wrote. There's a quote I want to share with you, that I heard from the movie "A Cinderella Story" and it goes like this: "Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."
If you keep thinking of all of the bad things that can happen, you probably won't get up the courage to come out. But if you realize that good things could occur by coming out, it's a lot easier. Sure, bad things can happen in any situation, and you should realize that. But you can't let that keep you from achieving greatness.

Accept yourself. You are... who you are! And you're wonderful for it. You are unlike anyone else on this world, so don't try to live up to someone else's standards and don't try to be anyone else. Do that, and you will only let yourself down. Be the number one you, not the second best someone else.

I'm straight, but personally, I admire you for wanting, and attempting to, come out. It takes a lot of courage to do that. I imagine that it must be very hard for you, but you'll get through it. I have faith in you! You can do it, I know you can!

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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There is this boy at school, lets call him Joe(his name really isn't Joe), that i really really like! But i dont even think Joe knows my name! How do I get him to notice me? Also to make the problem worse he likes my best friend Karlee. And i know he does cause he told her. I am really shy and dont want to go up there and tell him i like him because i am afraid he will think i am a dork! To top it off all of my friends think i am childish because i have only had 1 boyfriend! Ohh and if this helps i am 13/f. Please HELP!!!!!!!!

I think that you should get to know him first before you even consider telling him how you feel. Some people might disagree with me, but I think that it's easier to become friends with someone before going out with them. It lets you see if this guy really is worth your affection and effort.

Just start a conversation with him. It's very easy, actually! You can talk to him about a sport he plays, ask him about homework/classwork, compliment him, borrow a pencil from him... The possibilities are virtually endless. Try to avoid asking yes or no questions. If you do, make him explain. For instance:

You: Did the football team win the big game last night?
Him: No.
You: Oh, I heard that the quarterback got injured somehow! What happened to him?

See what I mean? You don't have to talk about football; That was just an example.

You could also get Karlee to help you. Maybe she can introduce you to him. I don't really recommend that, though, since his attention will probably be more focused on Karlee than you, since he likes her. So I really think that you should do it yourself, without her around, so he can be 100% focused on you.

Don't be afraid of being a dork. Having the confidence to go up to someone and introduce yourself IS NOT dorky by any means. If he thinks that you're dorky, he isn't worth your time anyway.

Having only one boyfriend at 13 is NOT childish. A lot of people don't get their first boyfriends until they are much, much older. Besides, quality before quantity. Think of it this way: Would you rather have had one amazing boyfriend, or a bunch of not-so-great ones?

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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My Grandam is very sick and might die!! I cant deal with the pain it is causing my family ecspecially my dad! Every time a tear comes to his eye it comes to mine!You see my grandpa went down to cincinati to have open heart surgery and he made it through fine. That night my grandam started to not be able to breathe so they took her to the hospital. Now she has to have open heart and is sooo frail she might not survive! Is there any way to stop me from crying all the time and to be sad some of the time not all? ANd any ideas on how to cheer my grandpa up? Let me know thanks!

I can definitely relate to you here. Just this summer, my grandpa had cancer. We took care of him, and watched his health worsen over time, which was hard to do for me and my family. After about three months of taking care of him, he died. It was sad to see him suffer, and it was even sadder to see him go. I know this isn't about me, but I just wanted you to know that I kind of know what you're going through.

When it comes to the crying and the grief... there isn't much you can do.
Pray for your grandma. Have hope. Don't think, "Oh, she's going to die soon." Instead, you should think, "Well, I hope that this open heart surgery goes well, and if she does pass on, at least she's in a better place and is away from the suffering."
Try to take your mind off of it. Hang out with friends. Play a sport, or take up a new hobby. Don't sit around in misery, because it's not going to do you (or your grandma) any good.
If you need to, talk to a friend, a parent, or a guidance counselor about it. It really helps to get all of those feelings off of your chest.

When it comes to cheering your grandpa up, you can do many things. Send him flowers. Make him a card. Take him somewhere that he loves (Like a movie or something like that). Cook him his favorite meal or dessert. Remind him of how much you love and care for him (Believe me, he needs that right now, more than anything else). You can do those things for your father, too.

Most of all... Tell your grandma how you feel about her. Let her know that you love and care for her, no matter what happens, now and forever. Don't wait to do this, however; Tomorrow is promised to no one.

I hope your grandma's surgery goes well!

I hope I helped you, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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I'm not outgoing, i am rather shy and quiet. I have friends but its hard to make others, especially when my best friend has about 20 other friends that I can't seem to become friends with no matter how hard i try and I just sort of seem left out. and i dont seem desparate when I am trying to make friends with people, so that cant be the problem. how do I become outgoing? Please, pleas help me.

I used to be like that, so I definitely know where you're coming from. What solved my shyness problem was confidence. When I was quiet and shy all the time, I was just afraid that people would judge what I said and think I'm stupid. But then I realized that I can't live like that. I was sick of being quiet and afraid. I wanted to be heard and remembered. I wanted to get more friends and talk to guys I liked. (Which was always hard for me when I was very shy.) Judging by your question, you're just like I was.

Getting over shyness requires practice, like anything else. Raise your hand and answer a question in class. Talk to someone you normally wouldn't. Smile at someone when you walk in the hallway. You kind of have to take baby steps. Getting over shyness doesn't happen overnight, but with a lot of effort, it can happen.

Talking to people is very easy. At first, it doesn't seem that way, but with time, your social skills will mature and it will become easier and more comfortable.
First of all, smile. A genuine, nice smile will draw people to you and make you look more inviting.
Now, for the talking. Starting a conversation with someone is a lot easier than you think. You can compliment someone on a project they did, a shirt they have on, or anything else, really. You could also ask for help with a question on homework. If the person you want to talk to knows your best friend, ask him/her how they met. Don't get too personal, but stay more general until you get to know each other better. Also, when you talk to someone, make sure to look them in the eye. Don't stare them down, though; Look away every once in a while.

I recommend a book called "10 Simple Solutions to Shyness" by Martin M. Antony, Ph.D. That book is amazing and helped me wonders. I'm sure it will do the same for you.

You can't get over your fear if you don't face it first.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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Latley, school has just been getting me down. I've been in the wortst mood for almost a week, no its not due to my period. Its just plain worry, stress, and too much work. I've been taking it out on my friends and family, and saying some truly mean things.

How do I go back to my happy attitude and get everything under control?

With school, clubs, sports, friends, and family, the teen years can be pretty stressful sometimes. These are pretty basic, but they'll help a lot and make you feel less stressed over time.

Do homework or study as soon as you get home from school. That way, you have the rest of the night to relax and do what you want.
Cut down on the caffiene. That includes chocolate and coffee. You probably don't get much sleep at night because of the stress, so the caffiene will only make it worse. I'm not saying you can't ever have it again, just don't have it constantly.
Study material a little bit each night, or during free time in class. That way, you don't have to cram the night before the big test.
Go for a walk around your neighborhood or in a gym. I don't know about you, but when I walk, I can think clearly and sort out my thoughts. But any exercise is good, like swimming, dancing, or anything else.
Take time to relax. Nobody should spend their lives working with no time to play. Hang out with your friends. Talk on the phone. Take a nap. Go and shoot some hoops.

You should be okay once you get your schedule and thoughts balanced.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders

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