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to be outgoing
I'm not outgoing, i am rather shy and quiet. I have friends but its hard to make others, especially when my best friend has about 20 other friends that I can't seem to become friends with no matter how hard i try and I just sort of seem left out. and i dont seem desparate when I am trying to make friends with people, so that cant be the problem. how do I become outgoing? Please, pleas help me.
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I used to be like that, so I definitely know where you're coming from. What solved my shyness problem was confidence. When I was quiet and shy all the time, I was just afraid that people would judge what I said and think I'm stupid. But then I realized that I can't live like that. I was sick of being quiet and afraid. I wanted to be heard and remembered. I wanted to get more friends and talk to guys I liked. (Which was always hard for me when I was very shy.) Judging by your question, you're just like I was.
Getting over shyness requires practice, like anything else. Raise your hand and answer a question in class. Talk to someone you normally wouldn't. Smile at someone when you walk in the hallway. You kind of have to take baby steps. Getting over shyness doesn't happen overnight, but with a lot of effort, it can happen.
Talking to people is very easy. At first, it doesn't seem that way, but with time, your social skills will mature and it will become easier and more comfortable.
First of all, smile. A genuine, nice smile will draw people to you and make you look more inviting.
Now, for the talking. Starting a conversation with someone is a lot easier than you think. You can compliment someone on a project they did, a shirt they have on, or anything else, really. You could also ask for help with a question on homework. If the person you want to talk to knows your best friend, ask him/her how they met. Don't get too personal, but stay more general until you get to know each other better. Also, when you talk to someone, make sure to look them in the eye. Don't stare them down, though; Look away every once in a while.
I recommend a book called "10 Simple Solutions to Shyness" by Martin M. Antony, Ph.D. That book is amazing and helped me wonders. I'm sure it will do the same for you.
You can't get over your fear if you don't face it first.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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I used to be so shy also, and all i did was to think, "who cares?". When you realize that other people are shy, it is kind of boring talking to them. Dont be afraid to laugh at yourself or make jokes. If your around people who joke alot, tease them or something. Just simply be like "Oh yea your hair was real great that day", if theres a conversation about that topic.
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