In just a few days, I have my final school exams which will determine whether I'll be attending university or not, which I'm sure I'll get into my desired course, but beside that Its like I'm losing motivation and focus and don't really understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. Like one minute I want to completely give up and I question what I'm doing with my life and the next I force myself to do the work despite not knowing where it will take me. At this point I'm completely uncertain about my life and don't know where my head is at. I care so much about my education, and despite some disbeliefs and confusions I know that I want to make something for myself but I'm just so unhappy at the moment and feel like there's no need to try and achieve everything. It's just mixed emotions, some days I'm an overachiever and some days I just lose concentration and don't know what I really want. Why am I feeling so confused about the future ? What is it that I'm supposed to do? I feel so incredibly lost and I know that I will never slack off because I choose to be a perfectionist and want to do everything perfectly but the overwhelming feeling of disbelief is consuming me and I'm not sure that killing myself with stress and becoming anxious over the future and school is doing me any good.
I think most people go through this "unknown" phase when they are in your position. Most people don't know what they want their career to be. What life is gonna be like and so on. Whatever you decide, decide with your heart and have it be something you're actually passionate about. Otherwise I don't think you want to spend the time and effort into something you're just kinda into. Even if you get a degree in what you're kinda into, you might not like it in the end. Lots of people get degrees, then end up working on some other field entirely. If you decide you don't like your first choice, you can always change it. I don't know what you mean by "feeling of disbelief" disbelief in what? You're putting too much pressure on yourself to have everything figured out. With life, you can plan a bit, but not everything forever. The one constant in life, is that things change. You can always take a semester off to figure things out. If you choose to be a perfectionist, the road is gonna be filled with stress and anxiety. So be easy on yourself, at least once in a while. Nobody is perfect and nobody has everything figured out. Good luck on your tests.
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I want to die. I have a lot of problems in my life. I just turned 18. I'm the third one in the family. I was pretty back then and was so popular. But now I got acne all over my face and I've been struggling with this for 3 months. It totally hinders me. I wasn't able to compete for interschool pageants because of my face. I've been to three clinics and they just recommended soaps and some products that were not able to solve my face for 3 months. I never had a boyfriend, I never had my first kiss, Im 18. Back then I was an honour student with outstanding GPA until last year I was freshman college I caught a chickenpox disease and I was not able to school for almost a month I missed a lot of oppurtunities like my tutoring job and pageants. My GPA last sem came down because of Mathematics that I wasnt able to focus because of my disease. Im so insecure I wanna die. Im smart but I wasnt able to be on the Dean's list. Majority of my classmates got into DL but I was left. My GPA was 1.58, just at least .4 points only and I should've got into the DL. It was because of math. My parents are professors in another university and they expected me to get into DL and then i failed. Im so depressed. I want to die. Everyday they tell me how stupid I am when I make mistakes. My classmates look me down. They underestemate me. Pls I need help. My grades are going down. I dont want to school anymore because im so depressed. I got fired in my job as a tutor. I got demoted by my freelance job. I wanna die. Pls help me. My dad always get angry like for everynight so I cant focus studying sometimes. I procastinate a lot like now I shoulda gone to school But i didn't coz im so helpless. Also some of my classmates hate me including my close friend because of group project fight. I am so afraid i might lose my oppurtunities to be a research assistant to my professors so that I could have an experience in research field. I so badly wanted to be a physician scientist and take MD/PhD in University of Toronto or in heidelberg but my classmates keep on saying that I wont be able to achieve it because im dumb. Im not the dumbest in the class, im smart sometimes and achieve in class sometimes though. Im taking BS Biology right now as my premed. A lot of people keep on saying that I have too big dreams that I might not achieve it. It depresses me more. I worked hard so I can go to Canada or somewhere in europe to study but people are stopping me plus how can i get a research experience when no professor will hire me as a research assistant coz of im not a DL, my gpa is not that bad though. Also im afraid I might not be able to be accepted in a univ abroad because Im dumb, i dont have what it takes to get accepted in md phd school. My university is not that well known though im in a univ that is really strict with high GPA and only smart students can enter so that somehow made me confident a bit, I live in southeast asia. I have no people to run to. I wanna die but Im afraid my dad would die too because of me (btw he's my other dad. I have 2 dads) my 2nd dad told me he'll support my studies abroad so that kept me going somehow. But i wanna die and I dont want to make my dad sad. I dont want to disappoint him. Im the only thing he has (my 2nd mom and dad have no child so they adopted me from my 2nd mom's brother which is my first dad whom I live with right now). Also I cannot talk with my 2nd dad right now coz he always travels. Whenever I talk to him he makes me feel better though as If im dying with myself. I had no one to talk to. My social lofe and personal life are messed up. Im dumb, ugly, not athletic (i got rid from swimming team), everyone hates me, I procastinate, I have nothing to be a physocian scientist. Plus I wasn't accepted as a writer in our school paper for like 3 times. And now Im flat broke coz i have no jobs. Im planning to moveout already since i turned 18 but coz of asian traditions, I cant unless I gradate from my studies. Im so helpless. I wanna die. Plus I think I have a disease coz my kneecap always get painful. Im not exaggerating this. Plus the guy I love lives too far from me who always cheer me up and give advices but now he's so busy and we weren't talking for 2 months. Im so depressed. What shoudl i do? Pls help me. Whenever I talk to our guidance counselor, it seems like its not helping and its like insulting idk. Whenever i talk to my friends they'll just be like *laugh and then say that's life then laugh again*. Sorry if it's too long and sorry if tgere are a lot of typos. Should I commit suicide and act as if it was an accident? Or should I drown myself whenever we'll have an outing so my dad wont be hurt too much that I died? Thanks for reading this. More power to you.
First of all, you should look online to see if there are services that offer someone to talk to if you're feeling suicidal. I don't know where in asia you are. But chances are there WILL be some kind of helpline for people who are having suicidal thoughts in your area/region. So SEARCH!
As far as others telling you you can't do things. That's only their opinion. People are wrong sometimes. The opinion of others doesn't have to be your reality. A lot of highly successful people were told they couldn't do it and they still achieved greatness, because they believed they could and never gave up on their dream. Michael Jordan was cut from the basketball team when he was young. Yet he became one of the greatest, if not THE greatest of all time. Walt Disney got rejected or fired because he "lacked imagination" and look at what he created. Albert Einstein was also told he was too dumb when he was younger and wouldn't amount to much. He pretty much changed the world. There are many more examples I'm sure. This does not mean it was easy for them. I'm sure it wasn't. You seem to be very determined to achieve your goal. Your story could also be a success.
Maybe there's some kind of brain chemistry imbalance that making it easy for you to consider suicide. Maybe a doctor can check that out. Cause sometimes, that's all it is.
Its not uncommon for people to feel depressed. In your case, I think the constant thinking about what others say to you and what you think they think about you. Or school or what your family expects of you can get overwhelming and make you feel worthless and useless. (its also my understanding that Asian parents are very strict and expect a lot from their kids and put a lot of pressure on them) The pressure can get to you and make you not want to continue trying. I understand. I've been there where it seems like everything is crumbling and there's no climbing out of the hole. It would just be easier to let go and die. We don't know what happens after we die. Do you know for sure that its gonna be any better? Do you really wanna take that chance? Suicide seems to be a bad idea in most religions. If even one of them is right, not sure its worth it.
If your brain chemistry is normal. Then its all psychological and you yourself can do something to improve that. First and most importantly is to ACCEPT what is. When you accept what is (meaning your life situation. Friends, family, relationships, work, school, your body, your good attributes and your bad ones.) Accept it all! You don't have to be happy about it. You just have to accept it. When you accept what is, you diffuse/release the anxiety and discomfort of being where you are and NOT being where you would LIKE to be. This separation of being HERE while wanting to be THERE tears us apart mentally and causes anxiety and/or depression. So you must begin by accepting that you might not be able to become what you wanna become juuust yet, perhaps next year. Accept that you got rejected from this or that. (everyone gets rejected here and there by the way. Not just you.) Accept what is. You're putting too much burden on yourself and your mind is driving you to the point where it seems the only solution is to end it. I'm sure you don't ACTUALLY wanna die, you're just tired of the burden. Perhaps want someone to listen, understand and accept you. The beauty is that you can drop most of your burden, by accepting what is. Then you'll realize that things aren't as bad as they seemed. That's what got me out of wanting to die all the time. Accepting what is. After I made that choice I felt lighter and realized that things weren't as bad as I was making them out to be. But when you're depressed and in a downward spiral; its hard to climb out and see that the hole you were trying to get out of wasn't that deep to begin with. It just seems deep when you're inside of it.
We can create a really shitty reality in our minds. It doesn't matter how much of it is actually true. Our minds make it real. So if you're constantly thinking about how much life sucks, then the world is gonna show you what you hold in your mind. I'm sure there's people in the world that are WAY worse off than you. WAY WAY WORSE. They would LOVE to switch places with you. Imagine living in north Korea where they throw people into death camps like nothing. Or in an African wilderness where you have to go to a river to fetch dirty water hoping a lion or hyenas don't eat you. To come home to no electricity, no plumbing and you're lucky if you have a door or a bed. Some people have to pick through garbage to eat every day. Some don't even eat every day. I digress, but the point is that things proooobably aren't toooo bad when you really think about it. But in our minds we create our own personal hell. Its important to remember that most things are temporary. Developing a mental state of "this too shall pass" will help not dwell too much on temporary shitty circumstances.
The worst part of suicides (especially young people) is not the death itself. But the death of all the dreams. The death of what could have been. Not only a "successful life" but the impact you may have had on other people or the world. Imagine if you killed yourself and once you were dead "God" (or other entity) told you. "...if you hadn't killed yourself you totally would have become a great physician scientist and made your parents super proud and you would have been a great success. Helped a bunch of people, contributed to humanity. You could have had all that. You were just going through a temporary rough patch. You were only 18! You hadn't even started your life yet. Now its too late. What a waste. You just threw it away."
So here are my suggestions:
1. Accept what your current life situation is. Don't fight it, don't struggle with it. Accept it. I HIGHLY recommend a book called "the power of now" be Eckhart Tolle. It was written by a guy that was once depressed, homeless and suicidal. He didn't kill himself. He wrote a book, got it published. Now he's rich, famous and helps and inspires millions of people around the world. Imagine if he HAD killed himself. The world would not have his wonderful books. The millions of lives he's impacted would not have benefited from his experience. It was the STRUGGLE and experience he had to go through that brought forth his books. Without his struggle, the books would not exist. If he had let the struggle beat him and had he killed himself, the books would not exist either. You can find his audiobook on youtube. So listen to it. Or buy the book.
2. Start your day with something that makes you feel good. Inspirational videos or speeches. At least music that makes you feel good. Tho inspirational videos and stories are really what get me want to go out and inspire people myself.
3. Learn to relax. Find some relaxing music, go for walks in nature, dance, yoga, martial arts, do something creative like drawing or calligraphy, learn to play an instrument or do something you'd personally like that you know helps you relax.
#4: Learn to meditate. Meditation, I think, would help you the most, in all aspects. Its an escape from reality that not only drastically helps your mental state and can bring you piece of mind, it also has physical benefits. Like anything, you have to learn how to do it. The more you practice, the better you will get. Like any other skill. You can find lots of guided meditations on youtube. Choose the ones you like and you find are better at.
#5 Forgive. Forgive your parents, friends, neighbors, the people that rejected you, the people that made you feel bad. Even if they don't deserve it. Forgiveness is very powerful and people underestimate it. Most importantly, forgive YOURSELF. Nobody is perfect. Be easy on yourself. Once I lied to someone close to me and while they had no idea and went about as normal, I felt very very guilty to the point where I started having health problems. One day I did a forgiveness meditation and while it was happening, there was a little doubt that it would work, but I did as instructed anyway. Once the meditation was over and I forgave myself. I felt sooo good and LITERALLY felt lighter. Like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was an incredible experience and I was amazed how much better I felt. I've also forgiven people who have treated be bad or screwed me over with similar effects. Guilt and Resentment eat away at you. So Forgive yourself and that you're not perfect. Forgive them not for them, not because they deserve it, but for yourself.
Anyway, this is super long now. I really hope you take some of my advice. And I hope you become the great success you can be.
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I am currently going through so much and I am only 18. Everything for me is falling apart, no one cares about me, no one tries to help, and I an so alone. All I can think about is taking my own life. I don't have anyone who will miss me, or anything. I don't have anything to look foward, I just feel like giving up. I've tried so hard to stop thinking about it, but I can't. It's like it's already stuck in my mind. I harm myself every night, in hopes of actually dying but it's not working. I just can't take anything anymore, it hurts to feel so alone, it hurts to be so alone. I want to give up, I want to be gone. I just wish I had someone who cared, someone who loved me. But I don't, and that's driving me towards actually doing what's been on my mind. I don't want to live anymore. I just need advice on what I should do.
Yeah life can be hard sometimes. Probably most of us here have at least considered or wanted it to end. A lot of times, you don't really wanna die, you just want someone to listen and understand. I referred some suicidal guy on here to the suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). After a week or so, he thanked me and told me that calling that number and talking to the people there "talked him off the ledge" so to speak. He talked to them and they were very understanding and put things in perspective. Its worth a shot right? Better than hurting yourself.
Often, we make ourselves feel bad cause we don't have those things we want. Happens to most if not all of us. A way to reverse that is to be thankful for what you DO have. I take lots of things for granted when I'm feeling "pouty". I wanna die cause I don't have the $ and relationships I want. (which both things are pretty easily accessible if you work at it) And I completely take for granted things that REALLY matter. Being able to walk and run, have full control of your body. Not being in any pain or have a disease. Be able to see beautiful things, listen to beautiful music, smell great smells, taste awesome food... Like the saying goes "I wanted to die because I didn't even have shoes, until I saw a happy man without feet. On a side note, sounds weird, but there are shows that help you see that you're not as messed up as you thought. By watching people that truly are messed up. Shows like "my strange addiction", "hoarders" and "intervention" can help you put things in perspective.
About the friends and relationships thing. You can be like me and just decide that its not really important if others care about you or to what extent they care. Letting go of the idea of feeling lonely just cause I am alone. Putting your happiness/self worth in other people's hands (by gauging how much they care or don't care) is a HUGE mistake. Letting go of expecting people to behave a certain way has been instrumental in my mental health regarding people and relationships. I think this is what you need. NEVER EXPECT people to behave a certain way. That way you're not disappointed when they don't fulfill your expectation. Its not really what they're doing or not doing that hurts us. Its the unmet expectation.
There was a time where I too wish it would end and I was put out of my misery. But we don't know what happens next... Hell maybe?, reincarnation? Karma says that we will just come back under the same or similar circumstances till we learn what we are supposed to learn or experience what you're supposed to expetience. So I could kill myself and just end up in a bigger shithole than the one I just got out of. Yeeeaaah, think I'll take my chances with this try. Or nothing at all happens. Oblivion.
Life is a school and sometimes leaves scars. The most difficult times are the ones we learn the most from and grow the most. Hardship is what makes us grow as human beings. So, call that hotline to talk you off the ledge and help put things into perspective. Learn to not base your happyness/self worth based on how much you think others care about you.
From my experience, life just gets better after 18. Might be off to a rocky start, but things often work themselves out. Pretty soon, you'll look back and wonder why you were trippin so hard on something that maybe wasn't that big a deal.
Gotta roll with the punches and get through this time. You'll be glad you did.
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I'm in 7th grade they always call me and my friends "stupid emo fags" and make cutting gestures whenever we walk by them. There was this one prep with some friends (well she's not a prep in the sense she's unpopular but dresses like a prep) and said, "does it hurt?" I thought she meant I was wearing bracelets high up my arm, but I realised since a bunch of kids were laughing she meant cutting. And when I was walking with a male friend and someone asked if he was homosexual and I said,"just because he wears make up doesn't mean he's homosexual -_-" and then they started making random comments about our "fag music", laughed about what we were wearing and walked away. These people are the same people who changed their profile pics to rainbows and wrote about how happy they were #lovewon when gay marriage was legalized. What. Anyway it's like preps favorite passtime to bully people. Not just us "raging homosexual emo faggot cutters" (I've literally heard that from someone) nerds, goths, etc etc...it's so annoying. Why do they do it and what do I do about it?
Some people around that age are just assholes. Its a phase where they try to fit in, or make themselves feel "cooler" than the kids they bully. When I was that age, the bullying was relentless. Not just me, but all kinds of different kids. Small kids, nerds, dorks, fat, skinny, foreign, dressed different, the list goes on. This era of school was like a gauntlet of assholes for years until they stopped. Guess nothing has changed. I think the best way to avoid (tho it might be too late) would be to fit in and be as "normal" as possible. Either that or ignore them or play along until they get bored. This is the part of life where we see how many assholes there are. Fortunately, most grow out of it. But until then it can be hell for victims of bullies. Take pitty on them. They are idiots who have something wrong with their heads, so they pick on others to make themselves feel superior. Its nothing personal, eventhough it feels that way. I recommend the show "bully beatdown". Talk about a feel good show.
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My boyfriend asked me tonight if I was a virgin because he is and has never done anything at all. We've been dating on a couple weeks and I didn't know how to answer it though. This is why:
I've gave a few guys head
I've been fingered A LOT
I had anal twice
I masturbate like once a day
I never had like...sex sex, you know? Like the making babies kind LOL. You know what I mean. Does that mean I'm a virgin?
To me, you've done enough sexual stuff to not really consider you a virgin. Not really.
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I am a girl and my best friend is a guy who is pretty much a brother and today I found out good exgirl friend cheated on him while they were dating now they're friends and he doesn't know I don't know if I should tell him, he has a right to know but it may ruin there friendship should I tell him what I found out?
If they're already broken up, I don't think its necessary. If he thinks about getting back with her, then I'd say yes.
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i am 13, and i live with my adoptive parents. my real mom had me at 16 and got me token away when i was very young. i have always said that i would not be a teen mom, that i would wait for after marriage. but yesterday i found out that i am pregnant. how do i tell my parents? and i will not get an abortion and i don't want to give my baby away. so how will i tell my mom( that is 6 months pregnant) and dad that their 13 year old daughter is pregnant and wants to keep her baby?
If anything, you could say that one of your friends is pregnant and 13 and wants to keep it. See what their reaction is. Then find a way to tell them its actually you. You're still very young and will be extremely difficult for you to take care of the kid. Not to mention the cost. You will also have to give up your own growing up to attend to the kid. This means no partying, pretty much ever. I don't think you understand the extreme responsibility this is, especially for a teenager. So think carefully consider what you want to end up doing. There might be government services to council pregnant teenagers. Planned parenthood could probably point you in the right direction. Best of luck.
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Hello!
As the headline says, im trying to be a better man, and being able to do some self defense is never bad idea. I heared that some martial arts are tied with some sort of philosophy and through it teaching other things for life then just "beating people" (because beating people is NOT my desire in the first place). I will be most grateful if you give me any suggestions i could follow.
Thank you!
Aikido would probably be a good bet. I took it for a bit and it has philosophy. More focused on the art and philosophy than when I took tae kwon do and judo. Kind of the flow of the universe type thing. yin and yang. Steven Seagal has a documentary about aikido called "the path beyond thought". Might have some answers for you. Glad to see other people get into martial arts for the art, not just to beat people up.
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For months, I saved up to give my bestfriend a nice birthday stroll... We went here and there and I made sure he had fun. But when I got back home, I logged on to fb, and saw he posted a bunch of things. There were things like "I love Jesus" and a post tagging his girlfriend saying "Hi Mahal (love) I love you." and other bunch of random stuff... I also spent a whole 20 hours out of my house looking for this gift he always wanted, and when I gave it to him, he was like, "Oh my god! thanks!" then nothing else... I feel guilty about feeling this but I feel so unappreciated...
Like missundersmock said, what's really bumming you out is that you didn't get the kind of response you were expecting. Your friend did thank you, but not a big enough thank you or showing of appreciation to meet your expectation (since you did so much work). Maybe he didn't know how much trouble it was for you to get him that. Maybe he didn't want it as bad as you thought?
So its the unmet EXPECTATION that's really the problem here. Expecting people to say or act a certain way (to meet our expectations) is HUGE mistake. When giving someone anything, its important to not expect anything in return (besides a thank you). Because we supposedly give gifts cause we WANT to give it to them, not because they're gonna give us something in return. That includes a high level of appreciation.
So next time you want to give a gift, ask yourself. Do I want to give them this because I want to give it to them to make them happy, thus making me happy? Or Do I want to give this so I get something in return, including a high level of appreciation? Decide that you want to give it to them because you want to, not because you think they'll think you're super awesome for giving it to them.
Facebook is a perfect example of this. Suppose you post something you think is super awesome and you get no "likes". Chances are you're gonna feel bad or at least regret posting it because no one has looked at it or likes it or appreciates something you shared. Now, if you post the same thing but from the mindset of "I'm gonna share this because I WANT to share it. Not because I think it will get a bunch of likes." and leave it at that. Not expecting likes or shares or comments. Then it won't matter much if people like it or not. Cause you just did it just to share with no expectation.
Same with sharing gifts, give without expectation and giving will be a lot easier. In the end, if you keep giving and they keep disappointing you, then you can choose just stop giving them gifts if you want.
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Hi. So in the fall, I'll be going into 7th grade. But this will also be at a new school. So there are 2 middle schools in my town, and all of my friends are at the smaller one, and I'll be moving to the bigger one. Technically this will be my first year of real middle school though, because last year in 6th grade, I was actually homeschooled. This will not change my level of work at school this year, because I am a very extraordinary student anyway, although I am worried about middle school itself. I'm a newbie, AND it's my first year of middle school when everyone else started last year. I won't know my way around, I'll be late for classes, I don't even know how their systems work and everything. I'll be the new clueless yet smart girl that everyone pities. I'm smaller and an easy target for bullies, but I can come back with extremely witty comebacks that makes them want to wish they were dead in a ditch, if that helps. But I need to know some important things that will help me. I already know how to unlock lockers and stuff, so yeah. Thanks for your time.
I would say ask your friends that are already in middle school to have them teach you how it works so you don't stand out. or ask anyone else slightly older than you how the system works. I was in 8th grade more than 20 years ago, so things are probably different.
One important thing is to fit in. Standing out makes you an easier target for bullying. I doubt it'll be much trouble for you since you're a girl. But I know it does happen. Standing out (even by bragging how smart you are or becoming the teacher's pet) can make you stand out and become a target for haters. A lot of young people's mentality is like a "follow the leader" or "mob" mentality. Meaning, they want to fit in, so they will say and do things that might be wrong or mean (even if they know its mean) so they don't stand out and become the target themselves.
This does not mean you should be phony and try to act differently so other people like you. Because in the end, if people don't like you for who you are, there's really no reason to be friends with them. There are boundaries on behavior that is socially acceptable and what is not. You'll learn as you go along. You're a smart kid, so I'm sure you'll easily adjust. You might not need to adjust at all.
Another note on standing out, feeling like you don't belong or fit in or are clueless and wanting to be secluded is also standing out. Those people make easy targets for bullying. Since you're a girl, you're probably safer from bullying than boys. But if a bully does come along, its very important to stand up for yourself. When I was growing up, I started 8th grade not in another school, but in another country! So my situation was way worse than yours and as a skinny clueless boy who barely spoke English, I was easy pickings for bullies. My biggest regret is being too scared to stand up for myself. Even if I got in a fight and got beat up, that would have been better than what not standing up for myself did for my self esteem.
So learn from you can from friends/family/relatives/neighbors your age about the system. (especially from someone that is already attending that school you're going to) Maybe you can even call the school and tell them you'll be attending and ask them to give you a rundown of what to expect on your first days and how it all works. Try to fit in as best you can (at least until you get the hang of it). Be confident but not cocky. Treat others how you would want to be treated and stand up for yourself if need be.
Hope this helps.
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22 year old girl.
Been in a relationship for the past 2 and a half years with a guy that is 24 and is great. Funny, intelligent, ambitious, and caring. And things were wonderful until I found out he was talking to another girl ..Texting, snap chatting, face times.. I talked him he apologized. He then went to the movies with a girl that he went to middle school with that he hadn't seen for years and used to crush on her to "catch up".. He then went out of the country and met up with the girl that he was constantly face timing and texting.. That bothered me... I started to get very fed up and stopped caring as much. recently went out with a friend and met this one guy who is a cop. We kind of have the same history and let me tell you that every time I see this guy my heart starts racing.. I love talking to him and how much of a gentleman he is and I just feel so safe around him.. My feelings for my boyfriend are starting to fade and I just don't know what to do.. Advice greatly appreciated
I think you already know the answer. Your bf has been with other girls, (supposedly innocent) you're fed up with it and your feelings are fading. You're interested in someone else now. Relationships come and go. People grow apart. Don't stay in a relationship just cause its already there. Especially when things are only getting worse. I doubt that your current bf will change his stripes anytime soon. You confronted him about it but he keeps doing it and probably won't stop. If this other guy likes you too, then maybe its time to move on. One thing to be careful about is that you are not simply infatuated with him. How can you tell if its just infatuation? That, I don't know. But at least its something to keep in mind.
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How do I make my dad understand how much he's mentally hurting me by taking away my iPod permanently until he can block chat sites? When he takes it away and blocks the chat sites, I can't talk to my friends or my girlfriend anymore, and it's really hurting me. I try to talk to him, but all he does in response is not listen and make fun of me. I really need someone's help right now... v.v
I am a 13/F
I'm thinking there must be a reason why he suddenly did that. Maybe you're on it all the time? Maybe you did something he disapproved of? If he won't listen, can you talk to your mom about it and have her talk to him?
You're writing this on something, so why can't you just use this device to communicate. Even if he disables the chat. Can't u still text and call?
If you "were bad" and he's doing it as punishment for that, then you might have to ride it out. You should at the very least try to reach some compromise. You might not get all the privileges you had, but at least its better than nothing. If you hold your side on the bargain, perhaps he'll loosen up after he sees you're true to your word and let you have your ipod back the way it was. You'll have to earn it though. It might even have to involve some extra work around the house or something.
If you did something that made him lose trust in you. You'll have to earn it back too. Even then, he might not let you anyway cause he feels he knows whats best for you and is doing it to protect you cause you're so young and he doesn't like what you've been getting into or the conversations you are having (its a dad thing). Even though to you, it seems cruel.
I know you said he won't listen to you, but maybe he'll be willing to compromise or come to some sort of agreement.
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There's this ad site or something called Jumbo Deals that keeps having pop ups on my computer. I've ran my AVG virus and it doesn't find anything.
I use google chrome and I have the settings set to block all pop ups but yet this one still comes up.
It's really annoying and I don't know much about computers or anything so any help would be great.
Try googling "remove jumbo deals" or something simple like that. If not, try malware bytes, or ad-aware. Spybot search and destroy is also good, but can install some "monitoring" thing that slows things down. I usually get rid of the anti-malware programs after they did their job. Also, when you are installing. Make sure to read what you are installing, just so you don't get duped into installing some other crap cause you just clicked on "recommended" installation. Or you didn't read the questions and just clicked OK.
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I have not HEARD from him since 28 of June wtf.?i asked u ever liked me and he said duh yea. we can try . next day he ask me you wanna come see me I got mad cause we 38 miles away and he should of asked it nicer and my RESPONSE was na no. he said playing games is gay and stop texting me and I was like no more.
I miss and I ain't texting him
what is happening
I wish so bad he could text me does he have any idea
You were playing games with him already and you weren't even in the relationship yet. He asked you if you wanna visit him and you got mad cause he wasn't nicer about it? He told you he wasn't into playing games and he meant it. How would you react if you invited him over and HE got mad cause you weren't nice enough about it? Think about it. What would YOU think? No man (or anyone for that matter) wants to deal with that. Sorry. Let this be a lesson in playing games with people.
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The past few months my husband has really went downhill in a few ways. He has put on 50 pounds, he is always missing work, and no matter the problem or situation, I seem to get the back lash of it. He hardly talks to his family and expects me to do the same. He will turn small problems in to huge ones that he likes to make grudges of. I feel like nobody can do right by him and that eventually if I keep overlooking things, I will loose friends and family because of it. He is only friendly to me when he wants something. I work full time and do all of the house work with no help and am starting to think that this is how my life will be forever unless some actions are taken. I honestly feel very used and broken and think that we should be much happier than we are. They're good days, but over the past few months the bad is outweighing the good. Any helpful advice is greatly appreciated.
Sounds like he's depressed and bitter/disillusioned by something/just over it. Maybe something happened? Putting on 50 pounds is reason enough to get depressed. If its the weight gain that's the cause of the depression, maybe his way of dealing with it is by pushing others away and lashing out. Good luck getting a man to talk about his feelings or why he's acting the way he's acting. Hmmm, maaaybe you can encourage him to write what's going on with him in relation to himself and to you. Easier to write it, than to express it. Even if he just writes it and doesn't show it to you, just writing it can sometimes make one see themselves or the situation from a different perspective.
Part of how men are is that they want some space once in a while. Nagging him into telling you what's wrong will only make him want to get away more. So if he wants some space, give it to him.
No reason to stop hanging out with your friends and family. If he doesn't want to go, you shouldn't try to force him. Or stay because he refuses to go.
You telling him he's getting fatter in subtle ways is also a bad idea (not that you said that). My sister does that and not only is he still gaining weight, he's bitter cause he's fat and gross to her now. So he deals with it by lashing out and not being his normal/happier self. But he can't stop eating his favorite foods.
Another obvious choice is therapy or counseling, but he doesn't seem like he would be inclined to do that. I've found that walking in nature or hiking is very uplifting. You get exercise, get some fresh nature air, get out of your usual places where you always are, being miserable, in his case. So maybe that would be something he'd be ok with.
Even though the book "men are from mars, women are from venus." Doesn't cover this subject specifically, its still a good idea to learn how men and women think differently. Maybe you're doing something that's "bad" in his eyes, while you're only trying to help or understand. Or you can recognize patterns of behavior he does that you don't like, but he does them simply because he's a man (and not to annoy you) and men think differently than women. Its certainly worth your time to listen to the audiobook. Ideally, you would listen to it together. I think the whole thing is on youtube.
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Hi! So one of my friends is going out to dinner for a special occasion, and I heard her say (right in front of me) that if some guy couldn't go, I would be invited. I definitely want to say no if that happens. I think that that was so rude of her. Do you agree? Am I overreacting?
Yeah it sucks to not be picked first. Would it be better to not be picked at all? Yes I agree, its very rude. This has happened to me also and I decided to just go. Sometimes pride can get in the way and you might miss out on what could have been a great time. Maybe after having a great time with you, they'll decide to pick you first next time. If you say no because you're upset, they might not even consider asking you next time.
The "meaning" of what happened means whatever you decide it means. If you wanna be upset cause you weren't their first choice, you can be. If you do decide to go, you really have to let go of the fact that you weren't their first pick and just be there as you would be if you didn't know you weren't their first choice. But if you can't let it go, then don't go. If they didn't want u there at all, they wouldn't consider inviting you even if the other guy said no. If you decide to go and once you're there, you see you can't let it go, you can just leave.
Its the knowledge that you weren't the first draft pick that hurts. Not the fact itself. If you didn't know, it wouldn't matter if you were the last draft pick. You'd just be glad they thought of you and invited you.
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Hi,I often watch movies and TV shows with my 9 yo nephew while babysitting him, and lately he's been saying weird odd things? Like when he sees certain girls, usually very pretty girls he will make comments like "I bet she could beat me up easy" or ask " could she beat me in a wrestling match or could she knock me out and give me a black eye" was another one. I just sort of laugh and shrug it off. One particular time I had one of the movie channels on and he had just come in from outside and I was in the next room putting the vacuum away and a Ashley Judd movie was on where shes fighting and beats a guy and he said something like "wow she could beat me and my dad up at the same time"
He was exuberant and Excited about it? Just find it a bit strange for a boy to make comments like that, almost like he wants to be beaten up by a girl? Anybody think this is normal? Should I say something to his mother? Because she hasn't said anything to me about it, or am I just making to much out of nothing? I'm thinking maybe he doesn't say anything like that at home, just around me? Any advice?
From what I've learned from watching my own nephews is that little kids are copy-cats. Almost (if not all) of everything they say they are copying. He's getting it from somewhere, parents, TV, or someone else they hang out with and imitate. I've heard my 5 year old nephew yell at his 8 year old brother: Don't you talk to me that way, I'm your mother! I would just bring it up to the parents what you've heard him say. That'll give them something to think about, at least. And perhaps they'll be more careful what they say around him or who he spends time with.
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Can some explain the whole per audio minute and per audio hour????
I've also looked into this and it varies depending on who is paying you. Depends on how many words can u translate per minute. and per hour. Ultimately, its up to the person paying you who decides. Also, your mastery of the language and accuracy plays a big role. I can speak perfect spanish in my mind, conversational spanish. But if they throw in some science or technical mumbojumbo, I can't translate it all. So I'd say its best to ask whoever is supposed to be paying you for your services.
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Lately my mouth has been hurting really bad at the top. The part that connects your gum to your lip is really hurting me. Whenever I move my lips a certain way it give my pain. I tried looking up what could be wrong with it and the only information I got was that it could be torn but the symptoms of it being torn says bleeding which hasn't happened to me. Does anyone know what the problem is and how I should handel it because it's been a week and it hurts to smile (and I like smiling).
All I can say is what I know from experience. You might have a little infected cut somewhere in your gums. Or your gums might be swelling up for some reason (ur taking in too much of bad stuff, perhaps) That results in swelling. This makes it easier for little cuts to develop and get a little infected. Commonly called "canker sores", are little infections of the mouth that get invaded by bacteria and cause painful sores. Which they go away after a while. So my tip for that, is keep your mouth clean by brushing your teeth regularly. This will help. Also eating healthy with plenty of vitamin C fruits. Also, drink plenty of water. This is not uncommon for people that wear braces. If changing your diet and keeping your mouth clean for a week or 2 doesn't make it better. Then u might wanna see a dentist. I've heard u can have some calcium build up around the teeth and can cause gums to swell up. It usually isn't a problem, but with eating too many foods that cause 'inflammation'. It can show up from time to time. There are also over the counter medicines for canker sores. Tho I usually just go with that I said. The choice is yours. Best of luck!
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hey i an from Limpopo.im in a new relationship.me n my bf we a naw datin for 1month n 3days.i love my bf so much n i try to make him happy but dat doesnt hide de fact dat my bf is still inlove wth his ex who has died.wen he need me i go n be wth him.on saturday it was his bdae n i made a suprise party for him n i invited his friends n ada gals.he was very happy n i was happy to see him happy.but dat dae at nyt he said i shuld not leave i shuld sleep ova n i did so.he started talking abt his ex who died n his ex was buried on saturday on his bdae.he told me dat he is over her n he dnt luv her anymore but his actions was telling me another story.he evn cried for his ex infront of me n didnt wt tu du or wat to say.my heart was heavy wen he was kissing me he suddenly stopped n he said he cant.yesterdae he removed de status on watsap he wrote abt me n write dat he love his ex n he change a profile pic n put his ex.i cried alone n my hurt was heavy realising dat im truly,madly n deeply inlove wth him.what do i have to do?
Clearly he loved her very much and is still mourning her death. Maybe he is not ready to be in another relationship yet, that's why he did what he did on watsap. Maybe he thinks its not fair to you to keep you as his girlfriend while he still loves his dead ex and that was his way of telling you without having to actually tell you.
I'd say you should just ask him and tell him you want an honest answer about your relationship. Tell him what you told me. About his watsap status and he says he is over her which clearly, he is not. The truth might hurt, but at least you will know the truth. I think its better to know the truth, than to have to be in the position you are in. Wondering what's going on in his mind and whether he really wants to be in a relationship right now. But you gotta ask. Otherwise he will probably just keep doing what he's been doing.
Or you can choose not to ask him and have to see him like this from time to time and hope that time will heal the wound left behind by her death. (which might be a long time) But you've had a taste of what that is like. Its not fair to you that he is with you, while thinking about someone else.
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