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My dad's pretty much taking away the only way I can talk to my gf/friends
How do I make my dad understand how much he's mentally hurting me by taking away my iPod permanently until he can block chat sites? When he takes it away and blocks the chat sites, I can't talk to my friends or my girlfriend anymore, and it's really hurting me. I try to talk to him, but all he does in response is not listen and make fun of me. I really need someone's help right now... v.v
I am a 13/F
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
we all have this problem at your age, and parents think taking away your personals will stop you from being sexually active,
not saying you are the problem but just think have you done anything to make him take it away, maybe something that you shouldn't have been doing. if not then state your issue to you father and let him know how you feel just like you explained to me.
sometimes making a parent feel bad or guilty about their actions would make them think twice, tell him your around the age to know right from wrong, its a time in life they would have to let you have your freedom,
if your doing right and not making silly choices then tell him why does he have to take your only way of contacting your friends away,
i know how you feel like your blocked out of your own life.
if he doesn't come to. tell him you won't do it again your sorry and you understand why he did what he did, followed by you doing things at a more mature level, but he also must let you make these silly mistakes why your young so that when your older you will be prepared for these choices,
depending on the sites your on like kik or insta Facebook maybe even tiny chat those should be acceptable for your age, but the adult sites my love i could so see why he wouldn't want you there. but if the sites are not that extreme let him know if you don't have anything to hide tell him he could have your password so that he could still be in control
its not much i could say to you to help in this case but if you can explain more i can for sure give you better advice
take care
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Yo dude sorry I didn't answer earlier but if you only talk to her virtually and not face to face its not real love. But if you feel like you love her what you do is tell your dad in a nice and gentle manner that I have met someone I really like and the main way I communicate with her is through social media. I know he'll be like but your on it all day and then you tell him because I think I actually have feelings for her and he'll understand and give you a talk about how he met your mom and he felt the same but he had no social media to hide behind. What I'm saying is say what I said and improvise if you must.
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Well this can be a difficult issue, parents come from a different time when all this internet chatting didn't exist, naturally some are going to be protective of their children talking to strangers, or even some will just find it weird that your not talking to people around you, making you feel badly. Convincing someone who is determined against is would be a difficult task, especially if he has already chosen not to listen to a word you have to say about it. In his mind hes correct and has no reason to listen to anything you have to say, he's probably thinking its for your own good. I'd say for a situation like this, you have little to no control over what happens sadly. Best thing to do if at all possible would be to try and get something back from him, even if it means let him think your done with that stuff until he gives it back. After that i would say do it in private, hide what your doing from him any way you can.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but dealing with a parent in that mindset with you at the age you are is not something that can be solved so easily. Also if you can get a hold of your gf or friends again at some point, might be wise to tell them to talk to you on something else that he doesn't know about, and continue to hide it. Hope things work out for you.
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Sometimes parents think they are doing a good thing, but really doing something bad. Since your iPod is your only communication with your friends, it's ok to have your chat rooms taken away for a little while, but not forever. Having to go without communication with people your age for a long time can't be good for your mental health. If your dad is making fun of you for this, that's not right. You didn't mention a mother in this. I don't mean to bring up any unwanted feelings, in case you have any about her. But if she is there she may understand your pain better than your dad. Tell your dad that not seeing your friends for a long time can mess with you. If he just ignores you or makes fun with you, make him sit down with you and have a talk. Your 13, and you seem to know the rules of the chat rooms to stay safe. I don't recommend this, but only do this if you don't have a choice. You can probably find a way to unblock the chat rooms, but only do this if you don't have a choice. Instead of doing that, it would be a better idea to sit down, and talk with him. Hope my advice helped! :)
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I'm thinking there must be a reason why he suddenly did that. Maybe you're on it all the time? Maybe you did something he disapproved of? If he won't listen, can you talk to your mom about it and have her talk to him?
You're writing this on something, so why can't you just use this device to communicate. Even if he disables the chat. Can't u still text and call?
If you "were bad" and he's doing it as punishment for that, then you might have to ride it out. You should at the very least try to reach some compromise. You might not get all the privileges you had, but at least its better than nothing. If you hold your side on the bargain, perhaps he'll loosen up after he sees you're true to your word and let you have your ipod back the way it was. You'll have to earn it though. It might even have to involve some extra work around the house or something.
If you did something that made him lose trust in you. You'll have to earn it back too. Even then, he might not let you anyway cause he feels he knows whats best for you and is doing it to protect you cause you're so young and he doesn't like what you've been getting into or the conversations you are having (its a dad thing). Even though to you, it seems cruel.
I know you said he won't listen to you, but maybe he'll be willing to compromise or come to some sort of agreement.
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Hello,
TO me it seems like your dad is not acting like a parent and more of a child when he is making fun of you. Also, i know this is not my place to say, but have you talked to him? he may be just trying to look out for you and does not want you to get hurt. It could be his way of protecting you.
Something you can do is go to a public library or a friends house to talk to your friends/ if he is too strict maybe you can talk to a female figure such as an aunt or cousin to try to talk to him and convince him that it is normal to be talking to other people. He should not be expecting you to be a hermit all your life and rather to go out and be social.
Also, do you have siblings or anyone your age you can talk to about this that can try to get your dad to once again understand your point of you.
if you want to take the initiative and show that you are all grown up, you should have this talk with him and tell him that you will be careful or set time during the day to use your ipod. Also, im pretty sure if you have a computer you can also use it.
I Hope this helps,
-Sandy
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Actually he's the one who needs help. Neglecting to listen to your child is so wrong. I suggest that you try to talk to people outside of the electronic communication that you're used to. Tell them how you feel about your dad and maybe get some of their parents to talk to your dad about what he's doing. He may not listen to you because he doesn't feel that you are responsible enough to voice your opinion.
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