so...my name is Rebecca and I'm 17, going to be a senior in high school . i am currently at either the 2nd or 3rd spot in my class academically, but plan to graduate as valedictorian...so if you have a problem academically I'd love to help! i want to be a journalist (and kind of am), which means i may be a little harsh, but i do have a not-so-sharp edge (don't get me wrong, i can be sassy, I'd just rather smile :) ) . I love knowing that i can help someone and I'm actually of use to someone. When i was younger i was more shy, and all people knew about me was that i was a good friend and for the people i answer...i hope you think so too!
Also, God is big in my life. Like my whole life. And for anything I help you with...I give Him all the glory. It's all about Him and what He's given us. :)
E-mail: nellybly22@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Occupation: freelance journalism...kind of
Age: 16
Member Since: July 19, 2006
Answers: 162
Last Update: August 29, 2009
Visitors: 15385
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Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully answer my issue. I am a female of the young age of 20 and I understand at this current age many do not follow the old ways of romance or trust. For an unknown reason people have developed many levels of obligation. This world is a complete contridiction of it's ways and it's hard to fit in with the crowd. Let me get to the point. It's very difficult to identify the common means to survive a relationship. I know the basics, Im beautiful, young, smart; blah blah. But the one I am with is who I want to be with. I am going to safely assume that you would advice to leave him and find another. I know that choice is avaliable but that is not what I seek. I am looking for advice or maybe a answer. My boyfriend is going away to puetorico for 4 days with a few of his male co-workers. We had infedility problems before but I forgave him for his act. I just would like to know some advice on how I can get over this. Im not ready for this disattachment, I havent fully healed yet. The cheating ended 3-4 months ago. I know females are emotionally toned then males, but I just cant seem to channel my thoughts right. I cant help think he is going to be weaken again. We get into arguments everytime I bring it up to him. But what can I do? The feeling of "What ever happens in " " stays in " " flows through me. And its very difficult to fix. You maybe asking why I want to be with him eventhough I am feeling this way, well I want to be with him because he shows me that this is reality. There is no such thing as good guys or girls anymore. No more princess and prince with a fairytale background. hurt comes and goes, I just want to know on different ways of swallowing it down. I dont want to feel like this, I was thinking "What if". I wish you can help me out. Thank you for your time. (link)
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Well first of all you really shouldn't just want to be with him because you belive there are no longer any "good guys" out there because there are...maybe not many or there or right away but there are and if that's what you really want it's what you should have. but you have made it very clear that you want to be w/ this guy. also, you need to know that if you really want to spend, well, forever w/ this guy you have to trust him...and that doesn't mean knowing where he is every waking moment and who he's always w/. you should just sit him down and tell him that you need to talk and you don't want to end up fighting but you need to be sure. and by the way if he'll honestly answer you "i've already promised i wouldn't cheat on you agian", if he did you need to trust him. but you should tell him your still hesitant. you have to be honest if you want it to work. just say you want some reassurance. that will make you feel better and you won't have to swallow your feelings because you shouldn't have to
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I'm starting to get really pale again because summer is over : (. So i was wondering which way is the better way to get tan? Indoor or Outdoor tanning. Which one is the safest and will do the least harm to your skin? Thank-you! (link)
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um, i think other people said this but niether is good for you persea. outdoor is better but i wouldn't be all in a bikini in the snow or anything. but indoor is really bad for you esp. if it's a tanning bed. i'd just go wiht tanning lotion if i were you. sorry if i kinda shot down all your options though.
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Since last weekend my best friend has been acting different. Last week was homecoming and we went with a group of our friends. Some time earlier in the evening I had told her that she and one of her guy friends would be cute together because she needed a nice time. She brushed off everything I said. Homecoming was a fun time and I spent part of the evening getting to know her previously mentioned guy friend better. I told her that I liked him later that night and she didn't sound upset. The next day we were celebrating her birthday [said guy friend being there] and we spent most of the party obviously flirting with each other. For some reason my friend found it necessary to tell all of the girls at the party that I suggested that she and her guy friend start something after I made it pretty clear that even though I had said it I really liked the guy. I'm still upset with her and it's difficult to talk to her about it and about anything going on crushwise. Is it my fault for introducing the idea to her or is it possible that she's purposefully trying to upset me? I like to think that she's not being insensitive because she's my best friend but she really hasn't made an effort to prove otherwise. (link)
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It is possible she's trying to get you back for suggesting that and then deciding YOU actually liked him and then flirting with him at her party even if she did sound okay with it. maybe later she thought about it and was all why would she do that to me?. you probably should remind her that you like him and you might want to tell her why you siad that in the first place. as for what everyone else is thinking i think you better just brush that off unless you want to go around telling everyone your side of the story. she also could've just wanted attention. but yes, she is very possibly jealous or mad at you so even if it's hard i advise you talk to her.
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ok so i moved to a different city but i still keep in touch with all my friends.MY best friend there espacailly we talk atleast twice a week but lately our talks have all turned into fights or me being a nag if she does something like smoke.i have been feeling like she doesnt care about me anymore so i told her we arent best friends anymore unless she can prove to me that she truly does care.But she says its to hard to impress me so she wont even try.what she doesnt understand is i just want to know that i mean something to her.i know she knows i care about her so why do i feel like she doesnt? (link)
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Alot of times friends move away and for some reason we don't really know they start bickering. It could be because you aren't part of her every day life anymore so she thinks you just don't get it or you just don't hang out like you used to so it feels like you aren't friends. Some people say they just "grow apart" because they have different experiences and all. She might just feel like you just left her. I think you should just flat out tell her that you just wanted to know that your friendship meant something to her. say it means something to you that's why you "nag" her, you're looking out for her. but if it doesn't mean anything to her it's really not worth it right now. i'm sorry to say you should probably focus on making friends in your new town right now (if she's being like that). maybe later if you go back to your old town for some reason you can try to patch it up but at this piont i think it's better letting both of you cool off and get used to things first.
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our homecomeing dance is next friday. well my ex b/f asked me to go with him. and to make a long story short: he cheated on me after about 2 yearsand we started talking and i think im not completely over him and i thin i likie him again. only i know i shuoldnt and stay away from him. but its just hard. well anyways, he goes to another school and i want to go with him but i dont think i should because i dont want to like him again. i mean, once a cheater always a cheater right? cause i know ill just get hurt again. so my question is should i go to homecoming with him or play it safe and stay away. and does anyone have any tips for getting over someone? any advice you can give is welcomed. thanks =] (link)
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maybe you can go with him strictly as friends. i know it's niether extreme and kind of piontless but maybe you need to start talking and trusting him agian. but just be friends if you don't want to fall head otver heels just to get your heart broken. let him know that he hurt you but you want to patch things up...platonicly. maybe you can date agian if he's trustworthy and all but not right away. it was stupid to do hat he did but don't swear him off right away. i like the saying "everyone deserves a second chance" better than "once a cheater always a cheater".
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i like this cute guy. he's cute, funny, and smart. really what my problem is, is that i think he might have a gf. im new to his school and i have no idea whats going on with other ppl. at lunch he would finish his lunch and go sit with these other girls for like 2 minutes. but he will do this at every lunch with the same group of girls. he is in 3 of my classes everyday so i would like some advice on how i could get him to like me or even just what i should do about this situation. thx in advance.&hearts
P.S. im 13/f and i am wearing miniskirt to school tomorrow. (link)
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well first i would find out if he has a gf. you seem kind of foward so you could just ask but if not bring it up casually. you know like on t.v where someone always goes "so i bet bet your girlfriend...". but i'd try to be friends first. go games and whatnot and get to know eachother. be yourself.
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I know this guy and we knew each other but we never really talked talked. And recently we started "talking" well. He blocks his emotions out so he wont get hurt. And i am trying to make him trust me and show his feelings. But, he says he doesnt cry or get sad. He says his mind is blank and He blocks out things so he wont get hurt. I have NO idea how i can get around this, like to show him something he has never felt before. He hasnt even been tickled in a long time he said. I asked him if he liked romance he said Yeah, and i said like what. Hes like when a girl is sad or crying i like holding her. I said well, what about the other way around. He said like the girl holding me? I said yes. Hes liike well its never really happend to me. I wanna like ... i cant even explain it. Make him happy? he says nothing makes him happy, so i feel like i need to do something. I am not gunna just sit back and watch him sufer like this. He is 17 btw
Thanks so much! It means a lot (link)
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well your a great friend for wanting your friand to be happy but sometimes you just gotta be there for them. he's already started to open up to you if he told you all that so...just be there for him. people don't want to get hurt so doing that actually isn't that unusual. really, i know it takes alot of parience and you don't think it will help but...just be there for him and let him talk to you. who knows, maybe you'll be the girl who holds him. but for now i'd just keep talking to him.
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well, im living with my dad and my grandmother because I went in to a mental hospital because I couldnt tell my family about it because my familys are christian so you see I would be cast out and they wont except me for me so im stuck on a bit of a perdictament and its just that my grandmas both dont want me to be gay please email me ASAP (link)
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okay,my dad's Cristian too and like that and...i'm not gay but some of my friends are and i refuse to judge them. i know that it's really wierd to be stuck between your religion and the real world but you can only feel how you feel and unless you want to lie to your family you have to just say it. it will be hard and your family will most likely look at you different but...like i siad you can only feel hw you feel. remind your family that you've been through all you have and now you only make decisions when your sure. and be sure. tell them you shouldn't have to choose between your family and love.
but if possible i would wait until you found some one worth it to tell them for.
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if a book normally sold new as sixty dollars sells for one cent on ebay.. is there a trick? i may as well buy it for 43 dollars on amazon.. (link)
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You should listen to the other advice too but sometimes on ebay people just set the price low to lure you in and they actually have a reserve price. like say they really wanted to sell the book for $20 and they put that as the reserve price but people only bid 1 cent they don't have to sell it until it reaches $20. Look at thier ratings. if they're low then i'd get it on amazon. if not it might be the reserve price thing or you could just get lucky with the buy. but be sure to look at the quality (which it should say) and any garantuees.
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13/f
Ok, I have just gotten out of a 1 year relationship with someone. [We'll call him Jay.] We are still best friends and all, but that isnt my problem. You see, I like this other guy now, and I think he likes me. But when I say I like someone else, Jay goes all sad on me and says stuff like, "I know you hate me and I understand that you want to be with another guy" Which isn't totally true. Because I still want to be Jay's friend. How do I tell him to back off without being mean? (link)
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"(Jay)you know i don't hate you and i do still want to be your friend. you're a really great friend. but you have to get that we broke up and i'm going to see other people. you will too. we can't just expect eachother to stay single becuase we aren't with eachother." something to the effect. you have to be honest if you want to be friends and be able to date other people. you're right you shouldn't have to be mean but you do ahve to tell him.
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Ok well this guy i know well is a man whore basically but i got to know him for like a year and i really like fell inlove with him i mean he is a real funny guy and i knew at that point he wasnt just trying to get in my pants...then we started having an interest in eachother then like around year later we had sex and it happens all the time now but like im not going on with him cuz we both dont want to have bf or a gf but he goes out on the weekends and fucks random girls...but idk if hes in love with me probably not but does that make me a hoe that im still fucking this guy bc im inlove with him knowing he probably isnt inlove with me and that he goes and be's a hoe on the weekends? (link)
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Okay well first of all remember that your nothing that you don't think you are and all you are is how you see yourself. you know yourself better than anyone and yours is the only opinion that matters, not anyone elses, and not ours. however i would like to give you advice in saying that it's totally normal if you want to do someone your in love with, but if he doesn't love you that is not at all fiar to you. yes, chances are if he isn't in love with you and he likes his player lifestyle he might just dismiss it if you say you want a serious relationship with him, but if you really do want a relationship it's worth a shot. who knows, maybe he'll want to try it for once. and if not (i'm sorry for the sucky advice but) you deserve better. yo may not realize it and you may be in love but that much is true. like i siad, it's just not fiar to you. and maybe he'll come around later when he gets it. but for now good luck with your illema and hope i helped.
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um im 14/f
um i dont need like advice its like more of an opinion
*me and my mom dont really talk like we should i dont avoid her though i just dont like tell her things going on in my life its just always been like that i want her to be involved in my life more but how should i let my guard down ? (link)
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try starting to talk out casually. you know
"what did you do today?"
"we ahd a math test."
" did you do good?"
"i guess. i don't really like math."
talking about everything is how you get to talk about anything. just think of your mom as a friend. someone who won't judge you. just remember you don't have to hide things from her. talk to her like you would anyone else.
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One of my friends killed herself about 9 months ago, and I'm over it already and everything, but last night I had a terrible terrible dream where we were in a pool together and all of the sudden I ripped her hair out and started hitting her and trying to drown her. It has been haunting me all day, and making me feel guilty, and like she's mad at me for having the dream. It's making me feel so bad. Could this dream mean anything? Is she mad at me for having it? How can I not feel so bad about it. Should I feel bad? (link)
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maybe you are still upset or mad that she killed heself but you don't..um realize it. i know it sounds wierd but it doesn't take 9 months to egt over something like that btu you don't want to think about it. your subconcious isn't just going to ignore how you feel so it's expressing your anger through you dreams. you can actually be ma at her for killing herself and you probably are going to feel bad now that that has surfaced. the truth is if she were alive she probably would be mad at you but now i'm sure she's not becuase (sappy as it might sound) she's looking out for you now and she'll probably just want you to feel better. i think to do that you need to talk about it or you will feel bad. that's just my interpretation. i hope it helped.
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I just met a girl online at espinthebottle.com and she is 13. I gave her my phone number and she called me and we talked for like 30 minutes. Is it possible that this could be an online predator trying to get to me?
signed,
cluelessCPU (link)
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Um yes. Very possible. No offense "big-D" but clueless i really wouldn't meet up with her (or like some other people said give out personel info), atleast not alone. if it sounded like she was 13 you could go somewhere to meet but like with other people, possibly an older cousin or something. i strongly advise you just be friends first though (like phone or online friends)becuase if you get serious too fast and they are a "predetor" then you're just giving them what they want. anyways hope that helped.
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I'm a girl and I'm 13 if that helps.....
Well see my friend always has boyfriends and her boyfriends are usually gorgeus! I just turned 13 and I had one boyfriend and he just wasn't the person I wanted to date. Other than him I haven't had any other boyfriends. Me and my friends all went to a new school (including the guys from my old school) this year and so this year I'm acting different, more mature. But the guys just don't seem to notice. I try to wear cute clothes and I'm always nice to them and I don't put on a lot of make up because I really don't need to. But I just don't know what to do! My friend isn't super-model pretty or anything she's just "so-so". I'm not overweight or anything and I have a nice tan and well I just don't know why guys don't like me? PLEASE HELP! (link)
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i know this really doesn't help but you shouldn't just want a boyfriend becuase your friend has one (or has had many). you shouldn't be doing all of this stuff to try to impress them, you should be doing it for you. it's not like your boyfriend is what would make you...well you. if you find a guy you do really like then just be yourself. but seriously, don't just do it becuase your friend has one.
p.s. your probably going to rate me low becuase that's not what you wanted to hear. but it's true okay. i really was trying to help.
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i got this book on christianity by miles mcphearson and it says i should get a christian mentor to help me understand the religion more because i just moved i cant ask a friend so i need someone on here who is willing to put up with a very dumb person when it comes to god.please be willing to put up with me for a long time and i want to do it through email so please help!!!!
~nikki~ (link)
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hey nikki. i can answer questions if you want just because alot of the time i get confused about christianity too and my dad's that person for me. if you need to know something or just want someont to relate to you can emial selinamgonzales@comcast.net. it's not my address my name's rebecca but you can emial it anyway.
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There's this guy from my clique who likes to irritate me. But anyway, he makes fun of everyone. I'm rather close to him as in like I can talk to him. Both of us belong to the same clique and I guess i can talk to him pretty well as compared to the rest in my clique.
Recently, he kept criticising bout me. Whenever he knows a guy is interested in me, he'd be like "What?! He has really bad taste". There's this other guy who was interested in me and he happens to know that guy as well. So he was telling me "Ya, anyway, he has really bad taste. His favourite girls from the FHM magazine are all not nice."
And he likes to put me down, saying for eg "everyone in our class is quite pretty.. except for ___(my name)"
And when i just randomly told him that someone said i look like one of the girls from a pop group,(the girl is a tomboy) he'd say "ya , people say that you look like the ugly lesbian part of her right?"
And I'd be like OK FINE! just what the hell is your problem. Can someone tell me just what the heck is he doing cos he's really pissing me off a lot. And it's not like he's so handsome ok! He's not handsome at all! And I'll be like yeah what right do you have to criticise people's appearance. (link)
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you shouldn't put up with that! seriously ask what his problem is. loud. so everyone will hear.
it is possible that he's jelous if you becuase people actually like you and you say he's not handsome or for some other equally stupid reason but even so you shouldn't have to deal with him. evn if he is part of your "clique" that kind of person isn't your friend.
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im 13 and my sister is 9 and our next door neighbors have 2 sons (one is 6 ryan and one is 9 chris) my sister and chris are best friends and they do everything together and hes always at our house or shes always at his house. they cannot be seperated, ever. but the younger son (the 6 year old) who is the most whiny cry baby annoying kid in the whole world always has to tag along with chris. everytime chris comes to hang out with my sister,ryan has to come to. since hes 6 he has nothing in common with any of us and he always tries to play with my sister and chris. my mom hates ryan and wonders why he cant find a friend his own age to hang out with and she doesnt want to watch another kid because even though ryan is 6 he still cant walk right he always falls and he cries all the time and my mom doesnt want to put up with it. she sends ryan home but he wont leave and my mom tries to be nice and says "i have alot of things to do i cant watch 4 kids including my own so could you please go home" ryan just wont listen and if he does leave he just sits in OUR garage for 3 hours. of course his parents dont care, they just want whatever is easier for them so they send both of there kids to our house all the time. we dont mind chris since hes my sisters age but ryan is 3 years younger then them and 10 years younger then me so we cant entertain him no one has anything in common with him. today ryan rang our doorbell we knew it was him so we didnt answer but he rang our doorbell 9 times in a row so fast so my dad opens the door and says can you please not do that and ryan asks to come in the house my dad says no where leaving soon to do errands but ryan WOULD NOT leave. he kept begging to come in the house for 5 minutes and we kept saying no sorry and closed the door. then 2 seconds later he rang the door bell 20 more times. my mom told his mom and she just thought it was funny. my family has hinted in every way that we dont want ryan over our house because he doesnt leave and hes too young for us to watch and if you look away for a minute hes getting himself into trouble like running into a wall or falling down the stairs. we've even walked him over to the another boys house who was his age but he didnt want to play with him. how can we keep ryan from coming into our house even if the doors are locked he will just knock and ring the doorbell for an hour even in the pouring rain and if no one answers he starts screaming and crying so loud. his parents dont think anything is wrong. i want to say something to ryan to let him know that we dont want him over but i dont want to sound mean. how can i nicely tell him not to come over to play anymore??? its driving us insane (link)
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if you really really need him out and he really bugs you that much you guys do need to say something to his parents. like not just hint but flat out say we can't have him there. it isn't your mom's responsibility and his parents should take care of it. you really shouldn't yell at him, he's just a kid and he wants someone to play with. he probably thinks it's cool to be hanging with older kids even if you don't. i really doubt it will jepordize your sisters friendship.
however if there's any cahnce your exagerating you might want to chill about. maybe he does just need attention and his parents don't give it to him. don't blow it out of perportion until you litterally lose it.
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Before I ask this question, which may seem to have a simple answer to some, I must first try to put you into my situation. And if i do this properly Im sure you will find that it is not so easily answered. I am a seventeen year old girl starting her senior year in highschool who has never even been spoken to by a guy let alone kissed. Usually I am invisible to them, and when i try to talk to them they usually just ignore me. I used to think it was because i was a bit of a nerd but not even the nerdy boys liked me. So one day during the summer I was just browsing the web reading my favorite fanfiction stories and i come across a dating service advertisement under the romance section. Anyhow i find a guy my age and Instant Message him on aim. He and I have been talking ever since (for four months about two hours each day) just casually and we ask each other for advice, and argue mostly about what we read or hear in the news. he is about a year and a half older than me and lives about an hour and a half a way. I know he is not a freak because i have done my research and if anyone has the right to be sceptical about or relationship it should be him since I am the one who instant messaged him and he has no idea how I found his name. I am going to be busy with school soon and Im not sure if i should keep talking with him or not. He and I enjoy talking with each other and we feel we can share nething even the most embarassing things about ourselves because we dont know who the other person is. Our relationship is almost freeing. But He will be starting college in the fall and I feel as if i would be bothering him, although he asks my help with everything. Is he worth my time?? or is my relationship just brief infatuation?? and if it is is infatuation is it really bad to have a friend that is a guy?? (link)
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if you are really good friends and you help eachother you should definently keep talking. if your worried about bugging him just ask if he's busy when you want to talk. i wouldn't get too serious about dating him, keep him as a friend. no it is not bad to have a guy friend! it's the same as a girl. so don't just blow him off.
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i would appreciate it so much if you could please help me with these problems that are all compiling together. please. i don't know what to do. i have no clue
#1 (family): ok. i am so confused. i live with my mom and my grandparents. my dad left us and he's the biggest jerk ever! when i was little, i had big problems with my sugar levels and he was always out sleeping with some other women. but, he's suppose to bring child support every month, and he doesn't. and we're having finantial problems. my grandparents are nice. we have like this family business. but, my mom works from home. and every time we sell a car (thats the business), everyone gets paid a certain amount of money, and sometimes, people don't give my mom the money that she needs to pay for all the things she has to (like school). and i noe this shouldn't be my problem, but it's really effecting me. i don't know what to do. and my mom, instead of being worried about this, she's only concerned about how she could make my life as less private as possible to the point where she can count the amount of times i blink during the day. it's really driving me crazy. and she's always fighting with my grandmother because of the rest of our family that doesn't give us the money that we're suppose to be getting. and then she always says that she's gonna sell the house we have for rent, but we can't bc we can't afford another house, and all this big deal. and everytime i say something, i always have to be reminded that this isn't my house and we are living here thanks to my grandparents. and i'm fine with that and everything, but i can't live like that anymore. i leave to school from here, do homework here, take showers here, sleep here. this is my home. but, i'm starting to feel like an intruder
school: I HATE MY SCHOOL! WITH A PASSION! it's a private school where the tuition is like 20,000 dollars a year! it's full of all these like rich little snobs. but, the only reason i go there is because my mom has finantial aid. but, she also has to pay for books and this year there were three text books, so it was a little more expensive, and they didn't give her the money to cover it. and if they dont, they'll take away my books. if i don't have books, i can't do well, so i wont' be able to go to the school that i really want to go to! i might transfer next year God willing! it's the same as my school, but less expensive, and i know the people there, and they are so nice. they love me there. and the work is not so immensly difficult as it is here. here they give approximatley 8 hours of hw every night. thats the normal amount of time, but obviously it takes longer
idk. it's just i don't feel good about all this. if this can't be my house, i have nowhere else to go to call my own. this is all just so confusing. please help me
(link)
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ok no one's answered this question and it seems like you really need an answer. you really can't do anything about your family fighting unless they want to. talk to your mom and grandma and tell them how this is effecting you...especially your mom. tell her how she's making you feel like this isn't your home and now you feel really insecure about it. even if it isn't owned by your mom it is where you live like you said and if she isn't letting you feel like you belong there then you end up feeling lost like you are so for the time being she's just going to have to except that that IS HOME. as for school also talk to your mom about transferring. hello, if you stop going to the rich-kid's school you hate so much you'll have more money in theend right. so oyur mom won't have to worry so much about that. bottem line-talk to her.you have to vent to someone who can make things better or you'll stay confused. i hope things get better.
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