|
| |
I am doing research into the teenage mind of dating and relationships and was wondering how old are you?
If you are aged between 13-23 then could you please answer me how you feel around people you like? what do you feel like you want to do when you're in a relationship? do you know if you like someone or not? if yes please specify how? I am a female aged anon (link)
|
I'm 19 and I pretty much feel the same as any other girl. When I'm crushing on someone, I like to be around them and I'm happy when I'm talking to them.
I'm really not sure how to answer what I want to do when I'm in a relationship. I've been with my current boyfriend for 2 years. I always look forward to hanging out with him.
I've always known when I liked someone because I would look forward to being around them and spending time with them. I'd look forward to talking to them or texting them.
All the guys I dated were friends before I started dating them. I eventually grew feelings for them and when you have feelings, you know that you like them.
|
|
Hey there's this boy that goes to my school who seems like a pretty cool guy and I want to be his friend but don't know how I could. I mean he knows I exist and he'll say stuff to me from time to time, he'll point his foot at me and he'll stretch his legs out one going under my desk almost. . How can I offer him to be my friend? (Btw: I'm a girl) (link)
|
You don't just offer him to be your friend. It takes time. So just start with small talk when you see him. It's pretty much how it is when you first become friends with anybody. You start talking, it's usually small talk and then you start talking every day and eventually you become closer.
So that's what you do with him. All you have to do is talk to him.
|
So me and my boyfriend of a year and a half who I was madly in love with broke up last week. He broke up with me. I thought i would be devastated but i was more relieved. I knew we would be friends but It would take time. we play games with eachother on our ipads and i decided i needed a break before I was ready to talk to him again. I just wanted to figure things out. So over the week he kept nudging me on the game to play since it was my turn. I just ignored it. so today he texted me asking if i was ready to talk. which is so sweet because it shows me he really misses me as i do him but im not ready. I still want my space. I kind of like this space. I told him no and he said he hopes the day im ready to talk to him again comes soon. I feel so guilty.. I feel like he's really sad and i dont want him to be sad. I love him but i want more space. I was planning on texting him in about a week and a half from today but now i feel pressured that I should do it sooner and I'm worried he'll forget/move on and not care about me if i wait another week and a half.
what do you guys think? Any opinions are greatly appreciated! thanks so much!
p.s im 21 and he's 29 if that helps! (link)
|
You shouldn't worry about him moving on or not caring if you're not ready to talk yet.
If he did, then you know he really didn't care. And that's not the case, is it?
Don't feel pressured, just tell him that you're not ready yet and when you are ready, you want to take it slow. If he loves you, he'll wait.
|
|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. He was in Spain for the past month and we didn't really talk-we could only talk over Facebook chat, and only did so a couple times briefly because he never initiated it and I didn't want to bother him since it seemed like he didn't want to chat. Before he left, we hung out, and he seemed SO into me and he acted really sweet and made me feel important. But last week was my 16th birthday, and he didn't say anything. I had messaged him two weeks prior to see if he could come to my party, but he never even opened the messages. I could see that he went ONLINE for extended periods of time throughout that time, and he was ONLINE on my birthday, but he didn't even say happy birthday. He read my friend's messages so I know that he is getting messages. Anyway, I wrote him this whole thing about how it's rude to ignore my birthday and to not even read my messages(he knew it was my birthday, that's not even a question) and how it really hurt my feelings and to please reply when he can. He was online when I sent that but he still didnt read it. I don't know what's wrong with him!!! We were GREAT the day before he left, I don't know why he's ignoring me. It really put a damper on my birthday because he didn't say anything. Even my ex said happy birthday. Anyway, he is coming back today and will be able to text. He hasn't texted me. I want to know what his problem is but I don't want to keep asking. Should I break up with him? I feel that he deserves to be dumped but my problem is is that for some reason, I still really like him and want to be with him. Am I overreacting? What should I do? I just want him to talk to me again. He knows I'm angry. Thank you! (link)
|
He is acting really immature. It sounds like he's been dealing with something or that he's just not interested in you anymore.
I hate when guys will just ignore the girl because he doesn't have the guts to tell them the truth.
You're not overreacting. But you need to talk to him first. Give him one call, if he doesn't answer, wait until you see him in person. Then see what's going on. If he had dumb excuses for why he didn't answer you, then you know it's over. If it was a legitimate reason, then now you know.
So don't text him and don't message him. He'll either talk to you or you'll see him in person.
|
|
Hey there. I've been very depressed since latley ever since my ex bf who made me stop cutting and really loved me dumped me because wasn't really ready and not that interested. Then about a week ago his cousin said he had feelings and him and I got together and he made me send pics to him and told me to keep our relationship secret. Then yesterday he said I told some people (I didn't) and he said we weren't even going out and he doesn't know if he wants to be friends with me anymore and he blocked me on Kik. School has also made me depressed because not much of my friends are in my class and I'm around a lot of people I don't know and it makes me nervous along with knowing I might as my ex (he's one grade lower than me) and it makes me more depressed. I also can't take life anymore and I really want to die. What should I do to feel normal and happy again or what's a simple way to die? (link)
|
There are many girls who have gone through the same thing you have.
You obviously don't want to die because you still want to find a way to be happy.
These normal things like school, friends and boys shouldn't be a reason to take your life. You know that and I do understand that they can be a hard thing to handle at a young age.
Firstly, you need to forget about this guy. He messed with you and didn't care for your feelings. It's a horrible thing but you need to let him go and forget about him. He "made" you send pics to him and told you to keep the relationship a secret, that's not love. You know that some day you'll meet someone who will actually care about you and your feelings.
School is a different story. I don't think it's about not having friends, I think it's about your self esteem because you aren't willing to make new friends.
You need to talk to someone. Go talk to a counselor and they will help you from there. They'll help you how to deal with your problems and show you how to be happy.
|
|
I am an 18 year old girl and I have just gotten my heart broken I fell extremely in love with an 18 year old boy who is immature and doesn't value me the way he should. I literally love him more than myself and proven that to him in so many ways but doesn't see that we recently broke up and I am destroyed because I have given everything up in the hopes that I would have a healthy amazing relationship with him we've been together for over a year and a half. god put him in my path he is my soul mate.. But I need him to realize that he needs to value me as the young lady that I am and I need him to grow up. I have faith in God but I am feeling so hopeless right now that contemplating death sounds like the most ideal solution. What can I do to fix not only my emotional state but the problems in life that follow? (link)
|
There are so many girls who go through the same thing.
Maybe this guy isn't the guy God intended you to be with, which is why God isn't allowing him to be the man for you.
You know you can't make someone change. You're probably sitting there asking God to change this guys heart. But maybe God's answer is no. Maybe he has someone better for you.
You shouldn't sit around waiting and hoping that this guy will realize what he lost. It's not good for you. You need to get up, and do your best to move on.
Moving on will be hard, it will probably take a couple months. There are girls who hold on for years saying they'll never get over him, he's the one, ect. They are stuck with that pain for years because they wouldn't allow themselves to move on.
So get up, go out with your friends, and enjoy your life. Break ups are the best time to start trying new things.
As for thinking about ending your life, you need to talk to someone about this. Go talk to a counselor, they will help you get through this dark time and they will help you with dealing with your problems.
|
|
This is an opinionated question; how do YOU know when you're in love? (link)
|
I think you just know.
I see love as a bigger thing than just looking at someone and thinking about them a lot. I just see that as liking someone.
I see love as doing everything you can for that person. To make them happy, to stick with them through hard times and to just do anything for them.
I see it like how you love your family. You'll stand up for them, care about them and their needs, ect.
Love is an action more than an actual feeling, in my opinion. So I don't believe that it's the butterflies in your stomach or daydreaming about them, I think that means you like someone. Love is so much more than those feelings.
I know there's a difference from love and being in love but I think they both wrap about the same idea. That you'd do so much for them even without expecting something in return.
|
Let's just start off with a background story of my friend Sarah. Sarah's always been the type of person who asks you for a dollar everyday so she can afford to get cigarettes. She steals from clothing stores and mooches off of everyone. She's never worked a day in her life,she lives off of her boyfriend - basically you get the point. All in all, I haven't ever really considered sarah a "friend" but I certainly never considered her an enemy, even after she started using heroin and other serious drugs. In all honesty I'd stay the hell away from her if she wasn't dating one of my friends.
Now, I'm not a loud person, I'm the type of person people go to to spill out all of their secrets, to get advice from. I never knew why I got this type of treatment out of people, perhaps they just think I'm very trustable. And it's clear that Sarah trusted me to keep all of her secrets- even the ones she'd kept from her boyfriend.
So this past week I decided to hangout with Sarah. She had told me she was using heroin again, more so this time, and that she really needed a job. In fact, the whole reason we were hanging out was so that I could bring her to my work, to fill out an application. I then got her some food and we shared a bottle of whisky (that I payed for) , and she started venting. After this, we went to a small get-together. Sarah,me, and my friends Chris, Ashley and Pat were there. These were people I consider trusted friends, and would do no means of stealing from me.
That night, three other friends and I were playing beer pong, Sarah didn't want to play, so she sat behind us. After the beer pong we needed to get more beers, so I agreed to pitch in for some. As I went to get my money from my purse- I had 11 dollars in there- It was gone. I was nonetheless very upset. Soon after this, Pat and Sarah (Sarah's the only one who's 21, the rest of us are 20) went to get some more alcohol with the money that Pat had. Ashley, Chris and I went to look for my cash however It was no where to be found. Chris and Ashley were sure it was Sarah that had taken it, however none of us saw it happen.
Sarah did see me put the money back into my wallet after she bought us the whiskey.
As Sarah and Pat got back I explained what happened. Sarah was already drunk, and basically babbling on about how "11 dollars isn't that much money". I left the get together, because I just couldn't be around any of them with out feeling betrayed.
After all of this went down, I called up my friend Ally because that's where Sarah was going that night. I told her to watch out because of what happened to me, and she verified to me that Sarah has stolen from her before, but only when she was drunk. I then called Sarah's boyfriend and told him that she might have stolen money from me to use for her heroin addiction, which he thought she was over with.
The next day Sarah texted me about how upset she was that I thought it was her, and how she was mad that I called people that night accusing her. I told her I was mad at everyone and not just her. However, my gut is telling me that all signs lead to Sarah.
Now a week later, she's still playing the "innocent" game. Part of me feels really bad, in the off-chance that it wasn't her. But another part of me can't help but laugh.
I just really need advice on how to ignore people like this, and I'm very interested in the psychology of someone with an addiction. Have you ever been lied to before,in a scenario involving drugs? How does heroin or alcohol change someone's morals? Based on the information I've given, does it seem to make sense that I'd blame? Would she still be this upset if she did do it, or is it an act to defend her lies? I would really like an unbiased opinion, unlike what most of my friends are giving to me. Thank you (link)
|
I really just think you don't need a friend like her in your life. Of course, she'll be around but you don't need to hang out with her one on one or have conversations with her anymore. Whether she was the one who stole from you or not, she's a "toxic friend".
You can't really ignore people like that. The only way is to cut contact with her.
My mom was addicted to alcohol and my brother was addicted to all sorts of drugs. I can't really cut those people out of my life, because they are family and they have a problem but when you are friends with someone, you can do that.
My mom would steal money from me, even just change I had stored away. My brother would steal so much money and steal my jewelry.
It changes their morals because they aren't in their right mind. They're addicted and they'd do anything for it.
It makes sense that you'd blame her. When something went missing in my house, I would jump to the conclusion that my brother took it. Calling her boyfriend and your other friend might have been a little over board because you don't know if she actually took it and you don't know if she wanted it for heroin. So that was pretty much just gossiping.
Who knows if she really took it or not. You won't know unless she decides to tell you she did.
I just think that it's not good to have friends that have addictions because they can do really cruel things, even if they are a good person. She needs actual help and you don't need a friend like that.
|
|
Okay so this boy and I were together for a week and he said he like me a lot and I said the same thing. So we sent pics back and forth and he said he wanted to do a lot to me. But he told me to keep our relationship secret. I did. Then today, he said I told two to three people and that we weren't even going out in the first place and that he doesn't know if he wants to be my friend. And he blocked me. What can I do to get him back? Please help me! (link)
|
Why would you want a guy like that back?
He doesn't have feelings for you. If he did, he would've wanted an actual relationship. Not a secret relationship where you send pics and just tells you he wants to do a lot to you.
He used you, you guys weren't dating, it's time to learn from your mistakes and move on.
|
|
When you have sex how long do you bleed for? (link)
| |
Most women don't bleed when they have sex. They normally do bleed if the guy goes too fast or rough or doesn't use enough lubricant.
|
|
Hey I'm a 14 year old girl, going into high school. I've always been a B, C student but this year it's different, it's when it really starts counting. Last year I made an oath (I'd really like to keep that oath) to my parents I would try my very best to make better grades in high school and I want to do better. I discover most of my struggles in algebra, and science. Although, I find Science very interesting and exciting I usually end up with a high C on my report card in that class but on the other hand, I find Algebra very frustrating. I really want this year to be different, I want to be a straight A student. I know it will be hard but I know I can do it and besides all my teachers are amazing (; I would like to know how(from an optimists point of view)can I remain positive thinking? I often find myself..dwelling on the future, asking 'what ifs', and thank u so much in advance..(: (link)
|
If you really want it, you can have it. You know that, you just have to put all your effort into it.
Obviously, don't procrastinate. That's one of the biggest problems most students have. There will be a project due in a month, so they wait and do it the week it's due. Don't do that.
You already know what you struggle in. So you need to get help in those areas. Not just because you want good grades, but because you need to actually learn it. So I'd say get a tutor or see if the teacher can make time for you after class to help you with things you don't understand. You can get together some friends and form a study group.
Don't over think your future. You know you'll have a good future if you focus on school. Thinking, "What if" isn't a good way to think. It's always good to know the consequences of your actions, but to go on thinking, "What if I fail, what if I don't succeed, ect" is bad for you. So when you start doing that, stop and do something else. You need to focus on yourself and doing well.
|
|
So... My friend came to my house with nothing, a few hours later she had a pack of cigars. The same ones my parents smoke. She had some story of how she got them, but I'm positive she's lying. I don't smoke and I don't want it blamed on me when it's found they're missing. I want her to give them back, and tell the truth... How do I do it? (link)
|
I think if you keep asking her to tell the truth, she'll just keep denying it.
I'd tell her that you're going to tell your parents because you don't want to get blamed for them being missing. Hopefully by then she'll hand them over. If not, then just go tell your parents that she took them
She doesn't sound like a good friend in the first place.
|
I've been friends with this guy for 3 years and recently, we started escalating our friendship into something a bit more. We kissed and cuddled, and we have reached the 3rd base so far.
He finally admitted to liking me, and I said I liked him back. The unfortunate problem is that as much as he wants to be in a relationship with me, he's going to college in September (he's not moving anywhere, it's a local university) and he doesn't want to go to college and be in a relationship. However, he still wishes to continue what we've been doing and see what will happen from there, as in we may possibly go into a relationship. I don't know if I should continue this route or just leave. Help? (link)
|
This is a tough situation. If I was in your shoes, I would stop messing around with him.
It's understandable that he doesn't want to get into a relationship while getting into college.
Although he does want to continue messing around.
When most guys get that before they are in a relationship with a girl, they want to leave it at that. Not of all of them, but most.
So I'd continue talking to him. If he wants to keep talking then that's fine. If he starts asking you for more, then you'll have to make that decision.
I'd probably just tell him that you don't feel comfortable messing around with someone you're not dating anymore.
But in the end, it's up to you. If you're ok with just a friends with benefits relationship, then put your feelings aside. If you want more, then you should step back.
|
|
Hello advicenators, I have a question about one of my friends.Today was my first day of 8th grade.I went up to one of what I thought was friends, and she shot me dirty looks and refused to speak.We have been very close in the last few years and she and I told everything to eachother.We were inseperable.Another one of my friends asked her why she wasnt speaking to me, and she said she was not my friend anymore.When I said this to my other pals, everyone was shocked.Im not angry about all of this or even mad at her.I did nothing, nothing at all.I even tried to talk to her over the summer many times.Why would she just drop me now as a friend? Im very confused as I loved her as my sister.Is it me?I am a self harmer and recovering bulimic, maybe its because my sexuality.I dont know if I should even try to talk to her, Im not mad at her at all really, just curius why.Im a tad hurt, but not really.I enjoyed her compony and she barely annoyed me.Should I ask her why and what should I say.Thank you in advance. (link)
|
I wouldn't go ask her why. She has been avoiding you and shooting you dirty looks and doesn't even want to tell you why, she's not looking to become friends with you again.
You have every right to be hurt, but it's good that you're not making a big deal out of it.
Once things calm down, then you can try to talk to her again and see what her problem is. If it's something you guys can work through, then do it. If it's something you can't, then let her go.
Honestly, she's acting a little immature. You don't need a friend like that.
|
|
I sent him a pic of myself (he asked for one) and said I want to do a lot to you. What does it mean? (link)
| |
It means he wants sex.
|
I'm not tearing her down with it or sonething. I'm just not feeling scared or anything and instead feel that is rather thrilling, it is an experience not many peoe go through.
Things I said are this
1. Before she surrendered to jail. We went out to a restaurant. I teased her about how tomorrow she was going to be behind bars and taking orders from people. She joked back that the food she's eating now won't compare to prison food.
2. I was telling my dad and some friends I trust how "maybe she'll see how it feels when I get punished"
I hope this doesn't sound too malicious or uncaring.
(link)
|
I'm pretty sure she already knows how it feels to be punished. I mean she had parents too right? I'm sure they've punished her before.
It's not malicious or uncaring. As long as you're being a supportive, understanding daughter, then everything is fine.
|
We were in a LDR for 3 years. A few months ago my friend was on a stupid escort/dating site and saw him on it. Pics and everything. He denied it for a week until admitting that he made it when he was high (didnt know he was smoking). He proved he didn't use them as the site doesn't let you delete anything. He swore up and down there werent any more. I told him to tell me now or I cant move forward. Still said no only one. I forgave him because he was depressed and told me he was going to get help and stop the drugs.
We were doing fine. I was planning on moving in soon. He asked why I was a bit hesitant and I brought up the profile and how I felt hurt still. He got angry and said I forgave him and I need to drop it. I felt like he was lying again. During this time, I decided to do my own search to see if there were any more. Simply googled his email and there was. Two profiles. I don't know how to proceed. It doesn't look like he really used these either though.
If I end it and explain why, he's going to resort to name calling like last time. Saying I'm a creep, that I don't trust him. (link)
|
Whether or not he's cheating on you or talking to other girls online, he's been lying to you and treating you badly. That's a good enough reason not to be with someone.
You have every right to just google his email. Then you found out he lied to you again because he has another one when he said he didn't. Whether or not he uses it, he still lied, and he most likely did use it before.
He's making you feel like your feelings aren't valid. You're not sitting there bringing it up all the time or something. He asked you why you were hesitant and you told him the truth.
He hasn't earned your trust. You have forgiven him but it doesn't mean that the trust is automatically restored.
He's rude, he shouldn't be calling his girlfriend a creep or any other names.
Honestly, he doesn't sound like the right guy for you.
|
Im 14 athletic build and want to have sex with a girl in manchester ill sext first and get to know them but want to realy try it with any girl any age xxxx
What should i do xx ??
(link)
|
Well you should probably just stick to masturbating.
Firstly, sexting is child pornography. You shouldn't send pictures of yourself.
It's illegal.
Any girl around your age isn't looking for sex. They're looking for actual relationships, not sex.
And no girl older than you would risk having sex with you since you're only 14. You're a minor and it's illegal.
So just wait till you grow up.
|
Hi there. You answered a question I wrote about mother going to jail. Had another question I was asking
I can't help but feel a little eh "giddy" maybe is the word about my mom being in jail. Not in a malicious type of way but more in a teasing type of way. Not because I hate her or dislike her. On the contrary I had a good relationship with her but I definitely find it kind of funny that my mom is in the punishment situation now and is taking orders from others and it might give her a different perspective on certain things. Also because I know she is coming back in six months and is not going away from forever or for years and years. I guess it is kind of childish to think that way but I cannot really help it lol . I actually told my dad some of these things and he said it was OK and he was glad I was instead not acting hysterical about it and even joked back "maybe you;re mom will understand how it feels when she punishes you, maybe when she comes back things might be different". People might look at it and think we hate her but really it is just a different way of dealing with it. (link)
|
It's not weird. I guess it's just another way to deal with it. You already said that she's not going away for years and years so you're feeling like it's a lighter situation.
So as long as you're keeping a good relationship with her and not holding what she did against her, then it's fine.
|
I recently met a guy, we sort of clicked and we and sort of became friends.. Well not really, I'd say acquaintances. We've only hung out twice (the second time was a disaster).
He's asked me to hang out with him a few times, and I was busy and the last time he wanted to hang out. I said I had already plans but I'd hang out, if they changed and that I would get back to him later.
Which I didn't, and I forgot. And he hasn't texted me now in over 3 weeks. Grr, do you think he's pissed and doesn't want to hang out, and what should I do? (link)
|
I doubt he's pissed. That would be an extremely dumb reason to be mad at someone for.
He probably just lost interest in you, or he thought you just weren't interested so he decided to just move on.
So if you're into him, you should probably text him and see if he still wants to hang out.
|
|
