I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Last night I had my first hookup. I'm actually not sure whether it can be considered a hookup even. it was with this guy I've been hanging out with. We cuddled, made out and he slept in my bed. I pretty much slept terribly and woke up very early, just feeling like, suffocated. The truth is, I'm just really not into him. He really doesn't have any traits that attract me on a personal level but he's so nice and good-looking. So why am I not attracted to him? I thought I'd love this experience. I fantasize about men all the time and this was my one and only chance and I feel strange?I've been so craving of male intimacy lately, but is it still too far beyond my comfort zone for me to handle? I thought I was ready. What is wrong with me? I don't get it (link)
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I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all. You have been craving male intimacy for so long that you took advantage of the situation. This happens a lot with people and is a one-night stand ad both move on. If he hasn't let him know that while you enjoyed the experience you just didn't feel a connection after.
Then after that be on guard not to rush into things or only be intimate with who your gut says is right. You felt wrong because it's not in your nature to act on these feelings.
It doesn't make you awful for doing so as you needed to feel wanted and experience that level of intimacy. Just tell him because of a painful experience in the past that although you enjoyed what you were doing at the time you felt as though you weren't ready for it or a relationship.
If he's a nice guy he will understand and remain a friend.
Then again maybe you were ready but just afraid and not being able to allow yourself to go there or enjoy what was happening or feel worthy of the intimacy or any other irrational thought. It may be worth your while to get a therapist and try and find out why it all seems so much out of your comfort zone.
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I met this girl at a school camp and she just saw me and just fell in love,so when I returned home she was already having my numbers from my friend..she just told me how much she's into me so I just told her that we can try and see where we will end so now I think she's not the right girl for me,I don't love but I just care for her so I just wanna make things clear to her so I NEED ADVISE on how to end things (link)
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Tell her that you value her friendship and would love to hang-out and will always support her but that romantically it's not the right fit. Tell her you're very sorry but didn't want her to get hurt later on but that you do like her and enjoy her company but things have to be platonic.
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hi im ery scared that i will kill myself 13f i have tried before and i wanted to then and i think about it a lot im a cutter and im scared ill mess up
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You definitely need to tell an adult you trust EXACTLY the thoughts running through your head about wanting to constantly cut yourself and to kill yourself and a reason if there appears to be one that comes inside your head.
Next drop everything and IMMEDIATELY proceed to your nearest hospital emergency room. You NEED to tell the on-call psychiatrist these thoughts as you could be headed for crisis and especially if you don't know if you'll act on killing yourself or not without medical intervention.
Don't be scared. Be HONEST above all about them and ask for the help you need and tell them how much those voices scare you and you don't know if you will act on anything that's invading your thoughts.
This MUST come out exactly like you told us now or you won't be helped in the manner so desperately needed. This is a serious mental health issue so you have to let everything no matter how bad you think it is out.
What happens next? Anyone in your situation who wants to kill themselves or hears voices spends 72 hours in hospital for observation and rest while the psychiatrist determines what condition you have, why the voices come and go, proper counseling and how to treat you with medication so you can live normally.
When they are solidly convinced you can function they discharge you and continue out-patient care. Best to get this all sorted out NOW from the cutting to harming yourself and be FREE rather than sorry or worse over time.
I'm not recommending doing anything I haven't had to have done. I'm fine 10 years on with bipolar. You will be too if you get help and find out what is behind all this. I urge you to do so tonight as leaving things longer with voices like that telling to you to kill yourself and or self-mutilate points to a serious issue indeed. Better safe than sorry.
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I am an south Indian girl from Tamilnadu. I am learning carnatic music from past 3 years. But am unable to choose
songs from movies to sing in an audition. Kindly suggest me totallysongs that would suit my voice. I am ready to record my voice to get a better suggestion. (link)
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You're right! Without hearing your voice or knowing your range and what the casting people want it's hard to really help you.
For example if you were auditioning for a musical they would have different style and set of expectations than it would be for a choir, established group or a pop music act.
The absolute best thing you could do is if you have been studying music for 3 years with someone to ask their advice. Tell them what your plans are for auditioning and that you want a popular song or two from Hollywood flicks that suit your voice and show off your range in auditions.
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Hi! So I'm a 12 year old girl and I have VERY bad paranoia. Well people say the world is ending on the 21st and I all know you all don't believe it so can you help me believe that it isn't true? Please? I'm about to cry! :( (link)
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Fear thou not! People have been predicting the end of the world since the day it began. In some cases so-called spiritual gurus or prophets convinced followers of such that they gave up all their money and possessions to go up to the mountains and await doom or ascension.
I heard in one instance my father related that a leader was killed by his followers when the end of the world didn't come I believe in India. No matter who made the prediction be it an ancient civilization nothing will happen Dec. 21st.
If the world were to end on that date you can bet there would be ton of credible people and those from NASA that would be hollering that from the highest mountain. They aren't so relax. It's an irrational fear and belief. Nothing more.
Ancient civilizations couldn't understand what 2012 and the future we currently live in looked like anyways and could be way, way, way off calendar or not on everything. I wouldn't worry Dec 21st will pass and Santa Claus will be here to stuff his fat ass down the chimney Dec. 25th. Focus on enjoying Christmas or the holidays as this is nothing to get worked up over.
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okay so im 14 and a girl. i want a guy to touch me. but i dont say anything because i know its lust. and i dont want a reputation as a slut or whore. well im staying true to myself. im still a virgin. i dont plan on loosing my virginity for a long time. and i really like this boy, but if we date i dont just want him to touch me. however idk how to keep the lust under control? im not like a sex addict or anything but..? (link)
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You're a normal 14-year-old girl with her head on her shoulders and responsible. Your parents would be proud that you are thinking before acting on any sexual feelings or desires.
How do you keep it under control? Well, for starters always remind yourself you want to stay a virgin and make sure your partner knows this and there's no ifs, and or buts about it and physically stop them if need be and make sure they respect that.
When it comes to touch that's okay as long as you tell the person you are experimenting with or is your boyfriend what you will and will not do and set the rules you should be okay.
When at this stage of puberty your hormones and sexual thoughts are at a peak. That's why some people result to self-stimulation as a release. It could help you.
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Is there any particular reason why I keep having sex dreams? It's been like a week marathon. One night I had a dream I got a dildo for a preset and all these guys were asking me to jack it off while they watched..then I had one about a guy trying to mess around with me while I got in the shower, then one about masturbating in the bathtub..and I had another just about like making out and "dry humping". I just don't get it, lol
18/f (link)
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You're okay. All this amounts to is hormones kicking in high gear. Dreams are thought pictures. If you are turned on a lot while awake you won't get much rest from that asleep. Your brain never stops thinking while asleep so your thoughts and fears are manifest in pictures which are dreams. And it's all normal.
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My husband and I have fallen on hard times and can't afford to keep an apartment, so we've resorted to moving back to my mom and dad's in my old bedroom. There's limited space, and we'll have to share a kitchen. What can I do to make this feel more like home for us? (link)
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You never mentioned the state and size of their basement. Obviously it's unfinished judging from you indicating that there's limited space. It may not be big enough to turn into a 1 bedroom space in a renovation.
However, even if it was too small or not finished it probably has a concrete floor you can work with. If you bought a pull-out sofa and set that up and put a love-seat or chairs to sit on that would give you a private space to retreat to in addition to your room. You can also run TV (cable) and video-games on a TV down there if you use a signal spliter.
Sharing a kitchen is no big deal provided you buy your own food and don't take their's unless offered dinner. Also do dishes, chores, cooking on a regular basis unprompted as that will show gratitude. Your husband could also do work for them at the house. That goes a long way towards harmony.
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I'm really great at giving love adice. My dream has always been to write for a newspaper and have my own love column. I was wondering how the process works. What degrees do i need, ect ect. I'm a huge fan of love and romance. I believe that i could really help people who need it. I have wanted to do this for a very long time. I really hope someone will help me out. Thank you. (link)
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If you want to write for a newspaper you will need to enter a journalism program. You will study photography, interviewing, reporting, and learn to write and edit.
Those skills are essential and you absolutely must have them and the ability to write to professional standards. You also should get interested in the world around you, world history, politics, Middle-East as you need that.
The thing is that once you graduate you won't get the dream gig of being a columnist focusing on love and romance at first. You'll be hired as a reporter doing general assignments. As you gain readership and editor's trust you can then tell them that you want to focus on lifestyle stories and had an idea for a column.
In the meantime start writing for the school paper and maybe do the column for that and if you can really write and interview well already approach a community newspaper about learning about reporting and see if they will let you do actual stories if you're good and get you some portfolio clippings at least.
Almost anyone with a newspaper column didn't start working in the field in that position they had to work for several years for editors to let them do that but once you're in good you can say you have a specialty and want to do X,Y,Z too.
It's called a "beat" and all that means is an area that a reporter is solely focused on and writes about exclusively for a publication. While learning journalism always keep your preferred "beat" in mind so when you land a job your skills will be sharp and you can tell editors that this is what you are really good at. Good luck!
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I'm 14 years of age and a girl. I myself and others view me as responsible, up until recently to be honest. I spent the weekend with my best friend and one of the other girls we hang out with, my friends mum was out along with her older brother while her two younger siblings slept, we got bored and decided to go for a walk, after a while we invited these two guys (that only my best friend knew) to the park up the road. after a while my best friend went off to 'do things' and the other went walking. the remaining guy asked me to give him a blow job, i protested for over half an hour till i finally gave in. After 20 seconds of giving him a blow job (on and off, so more like 8 seconds :L) i felt extremely stupid and reviled... i ran off telling him i couldn't go through with it... later on in the night, i gave my "sort of" friend a hand job... i felt like a complete skank for the rest of the night and this entire week. I just need an anonymous opinion to help me figure out whether what i did was all that horrible.. Help!! (link)
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You aren't horrible but your decision making at the time was. You shouldn't have gone to the park with guys you didn't know and should have left when the friend went off alone to engage in "things" with someone else.
The guy had you alone and vulnerable and pressuring you. You realize now you made poor choices and won't ever get into a similar situation. As long as you learn from that and felt remorse over bad choices you're okay.
The other "sort of friend" issue is a different incident. You knew him and wanted to do it and were aware of that and went through with it. The fact it was the same night as the first incident doesn't matter.
If it was consenting between both of you it's okay. If you later regretted it at least you know next time to think twice about doing it with someone you aren't well connected to.
What you need to do is know this was the wrong decisions to be making about sex and to NEVER put yourself in the same position again and just move forward.
If I were you and I sincerely hope you do this CHUCK the friend who got you in the park alone with the creep in the first incident. She's not really a friend and is a real liability. Bad crowd.
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Well I'm 12 and obviously a virgin well last night in the bath you know that spray thing that some people have and you can wet your hair and stuff with it? Anyway I took that thing and put it down there and put the water on as high as it can go so that the most water comes out and it feels amazing well when I stopped I put my hand "down there"and there was a very little bit of light blood on my hand and then it wasn't bleeding again but its so sore and I can't close my legs or else its really sore and I can't walk properly I can't tell anyone in my family obviously because I would be dead for doing that! Pls help I really don't know what's wrong with me!! (link)
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I know it may be embarrassing to talk to your mom about this or an older sister, relative or trusted female but I really think you should. Trust me, neither they nor your parents will kill you and in fact may be sympathetic about it.
At your age your mom and most parents know that masturbation and curiosity about it for both sexes is pretty universal and probably suspects you do so. She probably knows you've heard about this kind of method from people at school and it won't floor her if you tell the truth that your curiosity got you hurt.
She's a woman and probably had similar or more embarrassing stuff happen as a teen than this relating to sexuality. I would explain that you are so sore you can't walk or sit correctly and need to know exactly what to do about it and let her or a doctor if you prefer look at it quickly as possible.
It's okay they've seen it all and your mom changed you as a baby. They need to see the vulva (outside part) and determine it's bruising and not anything else in terms of possible injury. A doctor can also look internally if mom thinks it's needed and do so privately.
I know you'll be okay but rather that suffer silently in pain let mom know. It may not be easy but it's your health and above all she will help you as would any doctor.
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hello..my name is max.i come to seek help because i dont want to loose my wife thats been with me for 17 years.these couple of years have been rough for both of us financially and emotionally.recently me and my wife had a big argument that dint have a good out come of it.there was insecurity issues involved hurtfull words.and things that shoulnt have been said.i left the house for the same exact reason not to argue with her and let things just cool down.its been over 3 weeks and she still doesnt want to work things out.i have how ever apologise multiple times to her and the kids.but when i try to have a regular conversation with her she just attacts me and reminds me of the hurtfull words i said to her...please help me out ...i love my wife and i dont want to loose her... (link)
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I'm not sure what you said to her but I doubt it's the only issue tearing you apart or important to her. It's a bunch of things that has come to the surface and boiling over to be dealt with.
What you need to do is tell her you love her and don't want to loose her. Ask her if she would like to find a professional marriage counselor to work through the problems and restore harmony to the home. It's the best option for you both and the welfare of your kids. I'm sure she will come down from current feelings soon but your overall issue and marriage needs professional help to get better.
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I am a 29 year old mother of 2 and have been with my fiance for 3 years now. We had been seeing each other secretly for 3 months when he hooked up with another woman to. They saw each other for 3 months before I found out. They ended and I decided to continue with him. When it finally came out we were dating his ex girl friend stopped by his house and said she had slept with him a month before and had been at his house the day before this and the previous day I started to leave but he talked me out of . after I moved in he started talking to the girl he had the 3 month fling with again. I moved out a month later but went back. he will not tell me his feelings but will txt em and has admitted to putting video cameras outside the house to watch what I do while he's at work he is addicted to the tv, never asks about my past, changes his routines and never takes responsibility for nething. if I have a problem with him he instantly has a problem with me. his parenting style is lax while mine is much more strick. I don't feel comfortable telling his daughter what to do and he rarely tells her nething But is quick to tell mine. we hardly communicate and I Just am not happy nemore. he asked me to marry him during an arguement then said I ruined the surprise because I didn't trust him when all I did was ask a question. someone please help me. I love him but I'm tired of living like this. (link)
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This is a bad situation that you have realized you must get out of. It's not a loving one and he seems a serial cheat. The fact he's installed cameras to watch your every move does not show he has trust or love towards you.
He's not helping with the parenting, can't converse with you anything meaningful outside of text messages. He's also combative when you try to talk to him about certain issues. Sometimes when you love someone and the situation is shitty you have to push that aside and leave for your own sake and or your child's. That's my recommendation leave now before it intensifies in magnitude. He's not going to change.
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hi:) ive been txting and hanging out with this boy and i cant figure out where we are in our relationship nd ive asked him before and he just said lets hangout some more an well see but our relationship has gotten a lot deeper now and i really like him a lot and i dont know what to think. if anyone has any advice to give its greatly apprciated...thanks :) (link)
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He needed time to evaluate whether you were the one or not. It was him sizing you up all this time by hanging out in a friend capacity. Your relationship may have gotten better and stronger but he's still unsure as are you what we have here--friendship or more.
I think it's pretty reasonable to go to him and say "look I'm really confused and my emotions are tangled in this are we just friends or are we more than that?" and see where you stand with him because you deserve to know. Don't let him away with an answer that isn't definitive either. No problem with a girl or even a guy if role reversed confronting someone like this. Not fair he's left you dangling for so long.
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2 months ago me and my bf of 1 year broke up. He still loves me and i hung out with another guy and did stuff he found out and hes really upset and i understand why :(. He is crazy in love with me and hes not abusive or anything towards me. My mom wants to get a restraining order on him and i don't want that, i really don't :(. I'm 18 years old is there anyway i can stop my mom from doing that? Please help i am going insane about this all! (link)
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If he's always following you and showing up unwanted and causing problems when you're with other men or people your mom needs to put a stop to it.
There's a bloody big difference between love for someone and full out obsessive behavior where he won't let you be around other people, live or asks upset or causes problems with current boyfriends. He's a loose cannon and even if you think he's non-violent or not threatening he may be as what he's doing is delusional and nutty when he's been told to leave you be by your parents.
I don't know the ins and outs of restraining orders nor would I pretend to. I do know stalking, threats, showing up and harassing you and others are something the police will listen to and handle appropriately. At the very least he can be cited for harassment for never leaving you alone.
I know you don't want your mom to approach the police but sometimes a parent's instinct and knowledge this can escalate has to trump any feelings you had about the person as right now they're doing something obsessive and unhealthy affecting you and won't stop. Shit, it's affecting guys around you. Who knows what this person will do for attention. He sounds unstable.
If your parents haven't appealed to his for him to leave you alone one last time do that first and have your mom warn them that the police will be involved if he doesn't stop. Sometimes threatening that to his parents will get him to think twice about you.
You may be 18 but you should not stop, hinder or give false information to "save" this person when mom approaches the cops. You can't stop her from filing one but you do need to WAKE UP and SEE you have a BIG problem with this guy and he's obsessed which is an unstable and volatile deal.
If she told him "It's over, don't go near my daughter" or you told him that and he
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So this guy who has been a friend of my brothers for a while but is only a year older than me kept me from killing myself. We have been talking for a while on Facebook and one night I took a picture of the pills I was about to take and I asked him to tell me to stop. He did. He saved my life. I don't like him, I like his friend. But I have said thank you on Facebook but I'm to afraid to say it in person. He is really nice and said that I don't need to do anything and that thank you is enough. I owe him something, anything. I'm just not quite sure what. (link)
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The best thank you for him is that you didn't do it and aren't. He's thankful that you are becoming well and moving forward. Believe me he knows this is a difficult thing for
you to talk about and isn't looking for an in person thank you although he wouldn't discourage it. What you could do when you see him is give him a huge hug privately and say "Long overdue. I'm here because of you. Thanks" and leave it at that.
As far as owing him goes understand that he knows and believes what you should that anyone in that situation would have done the same thing rolls reversed or for others. Maybe what you can do is pay it forward and find a program at school or in the community and mentor teens with similar problems or share your story and let your friend know he inspired you to do so. That's gift enough.
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My car has pulled hard to the right for at least a 2 months but since I'm planning a big trip soon I want to solve this problem if I can without spending over 2-3 hundred bucks since the car is a 91. I even noticed the wheel shakes when I take my hands off it. Thank you (link)
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I'm assuming you are the second, third, or multiple owner by now considering the car is 20-years-old. There is only ONE reason that car is pulling to the right.
Unbeknown (likely) to you this car has in the past been in an accident with front end damage that has screwed up the steering, alignment, chassis, suspension, shocks and cannot ever be repaired. That's also why the wheel vibrates in your hand.
It's been in a wrap-up who knows how severe and then "fixed" by a mechanic. Certain of it. You have only now learned of this because of the terrain you're driving over with shitty roads. It's NOT entirely a safe situation to drive a vehicle like that either. At 230,000 miles it's best to try and find a better vehicle as soon as possible.
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Okay I'm 17 years old- 18 in 4 months. I've had period for about 3 or 4 years now and i know what it feels like and what i crave.
I just went to pee and i noticed that I have blood coming out of my private place. My last period was on the 15th November and ended on 20th or 21st. It's been 13,14 days. So I'm really worried, as to what happened to me? I had period at the beginning of the month and at the end leading onto next month a couples years ago maybe 2 times. That regulated to once a month, not on the day or couple days apart but more or less.
So now I'm freaked out as to what's happening? I've never had sex, so what could b the cause? I am currently ill, just a cough from the lungs and minor temperature jumping up and down.
Can someone please give me an answer ASAP!
THANK YOU (link)
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http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/breastcance1/a/bleedingbetween.htm
It's spotting (see article above) and there's reasons listed there. Be sure to tell your mom as she knows what's normal and not for vaginal bleeding and can/should take you to a doctor to discuss it.
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my guy friend wants to have sex with me but i do not bcause we are friends and i dont anything bad to happen what can i do oh and we have made out alot help please!!!!!!!! (link)
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You should tell him that you really like him but find his request shocking and that you aren't interested or ready for intercourse with anyone right now for obvious reasons.
Tell him you don't mind the kissing or a relationship but that you're making it very clear where the boundaries are that you refuse to cross.
He'll get it and if not.. Move on! If not interested in kissing or a relationship or anything romantic with the guy tell him we're friends or we're nothing at all.
Sometimes and especially in these situations you have to be blunt and have courage put on the brakes if something isn't right.
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I liked this guy for awhile but he has a girlfriend, he knew i liked him and we went to this party wednesday. We both got totally drunk and we had un-protected sex, i lost my virginity to him. I kept telling him that i couldn't do it because of his girlfriend but he said it was fine. My question is should i be feeling like crap because he has a girlfriend? and why do i feel like i cant talk to him again? (link)
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You were drunk and he was a swine for taking advantage of the situation. You did tell him no but in that state he was able to manipulate you. He should feel like an idiot for his behavior not you.
I would feel regretful but not beat yourself up over it as you got taken advantage of and in a drunken state couldn't make sound choices. In the future have a sober friend watch out for sleazy people like this to help protect you. It's a good idea in general
Do you know who his girlfriend is? Do you know friend's of hers? Maybe through them or your own familiarity with her you could approach her and tell her the guy's a big time cheater and took advantage of you well drunk. Perhaps if you clued her in you would feel better as that would right a few wrongs.
Losing your virginity is a big deal for almost everyone. The fact it happened this way was not directly your doing and you were not in the all together mentally or physically and someone took advantage.
What you should do is tell yourself and your next partner the truth and consider yourself as born again and make the moment special and the way you wanted the first time and remember that and not regret what happened when you had zero control. That's how I see it.
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