about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

I'm still a virgin, i'm pretty young, and i think i might have genital herpes.. I think i could've gotten it from my summer camping trip.. I don't know what to do? Do I NEED to see a doctor? I don't want my parents or anyone to know! D:

Yes, you need to see a doctor. Period.

Unfortunately, it's pretty inevitable that your parents will find out.

--Jack
(16m)

[view]

helllo:D
i have no extra curricular activities to my name! i'm not much of a team player, so sports are out of the question! i also dont really like anything they have to offer. So is there anything i can do that will be useful to put on my resume? also, do extra curricular activities have to be in school? can stuff like amrtial arts be "extra curricular" if i dont do them at school? thanks?:)

Martial arts are extra-curricular, but unless it's through the school I'm not sure how it would work on a resume or college app.

There's always like the robotics club, poetry club, key club, NHS, or even drama.

I definitely recommend drama, because it's a lot of fun and you really become a family with the people you're acting with =].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

so i have a family plan for verizon. i used to have texting but i went over my limit and my parents took it away. i have a job now and i would be able to pay for unlimited texting, so i want texting back. the problem is, if i change my plan to get texting back, will i have to extend my contract?
THANKS IN ADVANCE.

I have Verizon, and whenever my texting plan would become changed, it didn't extend the contract at all. So you should be fine ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

what is 0^0? 1 or 0?

I've always been told that anything to the "zeroth" power was 1.

But then again, zero time zero ZERO times is a lot to wrap your mind around, so maybe "undefined" is a better answer.

Ask your teacher which answer they prefer.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

why does everybody say suicide is not the answer? that's all you say! suicide is not the answer.. suicide is not the answer.. that's not a good enough reason for me.
why the f-k not??

Why is suicide not the answer? Well usually the TRUE answer to something does NOT involve personal harm. Can you accept that?

Deciding to kill yourself is a very serious decision. It's not one that should be taken lightly. If you're going to decide on doing so, you should probably think about what's going to happen to all of your loved ones.

Okay. First think of your mother who raised you and gave birth to you. Whether she tells you or not, she loves you. Whether she acts like it or not, she loves you. I guarantee it. Your mother would be heartless not to love her own child. Anyway, let's pretend you committed suicide- how would she feel? She would probably slip into a depression, maybe one like you're in now, and she might make the decision you're thinking of making. How does that make you feel? Terrible right?

Well if it doesn't, it really should.

Now think about your dad. He loves you, too. He helped raise you, and he maybe taught you how to ride your bike, among other things.

Think about your friends. They laughed with you, cried with you, and so many other things.

Think about your grandparents. They've helped raise you, too. They've given you cookies when your parents said not to. They've babysitted you last-minute when your parents couldn't find anyone. And they, along with everyone else, LOVE you.

How selfish would it be to leave all these people behind that love you? Think about it. These people will be DEVASTATED if you just kill yourself now and screw them all over. They may not tell you it, but they NEED you. Your family and friends NEED you. Just ending your life and not thinking about that is completely selfish.

There are many options OTHER than ending your life. You can go to therapy, talk to your parents, talk to your counselor, talk to your friends, or a number of other things. Sure, ending your life is definitely an option, but it's the selfish and easy way out.

If you have ANY will power to continue your life and see that it WILL get better if you have positive thoughts, then you will realize that killing yourself is just not the way to solve your problems.

If anything, it makes you a coward taking that way out of your problems, but that's just my opinion.

Obviously I mean not to offend you or make you feel any worse than you probably do. I'm trying to motivate you to do the RIGHT thing.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

well, i was in my la class a few days ago, and then my teacher dicides to open a discusion about the election. i really enjoy politics, and im a republican. but she gave us a run down of what each party was like. and she said that republicans are mostly rich white guys, dont like to think out of the box, want to start comunisium, want to raise taxes, think women should do house work, and that they dont want to go green. all of that stuff is very not true. then she said that demecrates are great thinkers who try to have new people in like blacks and women, and that they want to lower taxes and would love to go green, those are problably true...exept the taxes part (but ill try to keep my opinion out) and i come home, all made because she had put me down like that, and i told my mom who is AMAZING at politics and rights and logic. and she said that the teacher really shouldnt be doing that...she does have the freedom of speech, but she is also in a positon of athority, so everyone else could think that what she is saying is fact, but it is really opinion, but my question is, what should i do if she brings it up again, should i ask her after class to not be making stuff up about the republicans, or should i tell the princiable that shes basicly discriminating agains rep., or should i have my mom call, but i really dont want to just sit back and let her think that she can say what ever she wants, im just not like that

The teacher was definitely wrong is doing this. I'm also a "republican", though I like to think of myself more as a Conservative.

You have two options which I think you realize:

1. Confront the teacher about it, and tell her that her political views should not be seen as an absolute in class, and bashing others' opinions is wrong.

2. If she does nothing and keeps doing it, go to the principal, like you said.

Stand up for yourself, because no one else will. If that's one thing I've learned, well then that's what I want to pass on to you.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

ok im really close with this girl and I really like her I've told her how I felt but she just wants to be friends shes afraid that if we were to take a step further it would affect our friendship so what do I do?

I've been there and done that.

Really, and I know exactly how hard this is to hear, you have to trust that she's looking out for you two in saying that.

Just because she doesn't want to date doesn't mean she hates you and thinks you're just some garbage or something. If anything, it means she values your friendship too much to see anything happen to it because of some stupid break up.

I suggest that you try your best to just accept it, and as hard as it may be, it's really your only option. You can't FORCE her to date you, and trust me, I know what it's like to want that.

Sometimes staying friends is the smartest thing you can do, and don't blame her for making that decision.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I'm not looking for an excuse but my friend won't drink with her boyfriend. They did just start going out (2 months ago) but she never drinks with any of her boyfriends.

What would be the reason to why she doesn't?

Guys you might know the answer more but then again I'm not sure. Please don't say go ask her :)! Thanks!

She's probably doing it because she knows really just how stupid it is to drink, firstly underage, and secondly in general.

I agree with YG- she's totally smart for not doing that, and I stand behind her completely.

But if that's not the reason, maybe she just doesn't like to drink period?

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Okay well, i like(d) this guy named chase. and he said he like me but he want's me to change like everything about me like my looks my friends, my makeup....is it worth it? Or should i go for someone else, PS im emo/scene...so i need's tips too go for someone like me,
Thanks in advance.

I've found it's totally pointless to change yourself for someone, because really that means that you'll never be good enough for them.

So no, it isn't worth it.

Be yourself. Be who YOU want to be, and you'll find someone who loves you for that. =]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i didnt call up or show up at work today..i work at mcdonalds and have been there for 9 months and i have ALWAYS shown up to work, except just this once.
what happened was that i got into a really big fight with a family member and so i just went out the door and stayed at a friends house because i just couldnt handle it. and i couldnt get to work today so i just didnt show up ..
i dont know what to say to them when i work in 4 days again! i feel really bad about it because i let the nicest manager down. please help, should i tell then what happened or would they not believe me?
thanks

I just want to add that the first two people [I'm not attacking them] are giving you a false hope.


Anyway...

Yes, it was wrong of you to not show, but probably even worse of you to not call. You already know this, but I thought I would reiterate because of the false hope you were given.

Call right now [as has been suggested], and obviously apologize, but not six thousand times. Once or twice is sufficient.

You can either explain the situation on the phone or the next time you're at work. I suggest you tell on the phone with your boss.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you could lose your job because of this, but if you do, I hope you've learned a valuable lesson. If you don't, I still hope you learn that lesson.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

so, i'm actually pretty good at getting boyfriends once i find the confidence to talk to a boy.
or choose a boy that likes me.
but i have major rejection issues, and i can never bring myself to make a move unless i'm absolutely sure that he likes me back.
how can i tell if a guy likes me?
are there any tell tale signs?

pleaseeehelp!
xo - katie

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

when ever im talking to people or even when im just standing somewhere I have no idea where to put my hands and i feel like heaps uncomfortable so i usually just end up crossing my arms which makes me look really unapproachable. :S
Help?

Just have then at your sides, or if you're near a wall or fence or something, put your hand on it.

Really- that's it. Unless you wanted to be holding something all the time, and therefore you wouldn't have to really worry about where your hands were.

Maybe an alternative is having one arm down, but having your other arm across your body and have that hand holding onto your elbow area.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

So this guy that likes me and wants to hookup with me. I am all for it but. I have inverted nipples I have never told anyone and i dont want to tell him cuase everyone will know. what do I do this suckss helpp.

You can't change your body in that way without some type of surgery, I'm sure.

Honestly, if that bothers him, he's probably not someone you should be with. A guy worth being with won't judge you on something like that- which you can't control.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i'm 5'3" and weigh 125lbs. i have boobs and an ass, haha. i was wondering that it's 125 too heavy for my height? i mean i look good but when it comes to the actual number, it freaks me out and makes me want to lose so much weight! ahh help!

No, you shouldn't lose weight. Your weight is perfectly fine.

Your BMI [Body Mass Index] is 22.1, which is a normal weight.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Sorry I asked in your inbox it's just I trust you as a coloumist and I know if I ask right now I don't think I'll get an answer haha. So anyway, I always feel like guys don't like me, mainly because they don't but whatever. I don't want to sound stupid and immature but like I just want to see if it's possible to get this guys attention. He's one grade ahead of me (sophmore) and he's popular, but I am too (not to be concieted :/) so there's like no problem there cause we talk to the same people kind of. Anway, I've never really talked to him but I want to I just don't know what to talk about. I want to comment him on myspace but I don't want to just out of nowhere be like OH HEY! you know? Haha, I probably sound really lame right now, but I just want to see if I can get him to like me honestly... any tips?

Just talk to him. Really that's all you can do. There isn't some magic love potion or some huge secret behind getting to know someone other than to talk to them.

Saying "Hey- what's up?" on myspace totally isn't weird or awkward. I do that all the time, and so do most people.

You can't really FORCE him to like you, but the chances that he will like you if you become friends first definitely increase.

Here's some flirting tips:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543909

Here's how to start a conversation:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545090


Thanks for inboxing me ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i got all of my classes moved to the next level so they are harder and more work. im pretty smart i guess but im just not motivated to do homework, i pick and choose what to do and i afraid its gonna hurt me this year. after school i relax, i come home and sit in my bed and read for a little while and then its dinner and before i know it its time to go to bed and thats when i do my homework...

how can i get myself to do it, i need to have a time to get it done but im to tired and then the night is goneee

When you get home, either start your homework right then, or relax for maybe 10 or 15 minutes, and then tell yourself that you have to start your homework right then.

I know how irritating it is to sit and do your homework for 3 hours straight. So I started to listen to my teachers' advice- and they had an interesting idea.

Every 30 minutes of homework time, take a 5 minute break. Get up, go get a drink, take a short walk outside- anything that will get your mind off of your homework. Then after the 5 minutes are up, start doing your homework again. And it actually is rather refreshing, because your brain isn't overloaded for 3 hours straight, it's only overloaded for 3 hours with 5 minute breaks in between.

Try that and see if it works for you as well as it does for me ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Hi, I'm 16/m I just started at a new school. There is a girl in my Hist. Class that is insanely gorgeous. Like, you don't even know. Crazy gorgeous. Anyway, I don't really know her yet. I'd like to get to know her though. How can I break the ice? And don't tell me to just go up to her and tell her I like her. I know girls like confidence, but you have to at least know them A LITTLE before you start telling them that. So... help?

Here's some conversation starters:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545090

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Hi Jack, let me begin by saying that I respect your advice and that this isn't at all a criticism of you, I'm just curious.

I've seen you answer a few questions about love where you've stated that you don't think people can feel true love until they're married or about to be married. I'm just curious as to why you believe this, when you've said yourself that you've never experienced it. What has influenced you to this decision/opinion?

I personally believe that you can feel love at any age and at any time, I don't believe that a couple should get to a certain time limit in their relationship and say 'Above the age of 18? Check! Together for over 18 months? Check! Phew, we can be in love now..'

I must stress again that this is not a criticism, I'm just genuinely curious as to what your thoughts are on this.

Rainbowcherrie.

Hey rainbowcherrie [have you told me your name ever, because that's much less awkward than calling you by your column name xD]!

Yes, that is what I believe, and normally I don't say in my answers because I know no one really cares, but since you're showing an interest... =].

Mainly what has made me think this is that I see SO many teenagers [in fact, I see pretty much every teenager] that are in relationships, and after one month or just a week or two, they already claim they "love" each other. How can someone at such a young age, who hasn't experienced the world, or for that matter, anything outside of their own lives, possibly LOVE someone they've been dating for only a week? That's just ridiculous. And if they think they are in love, chances are, they are infatuated with the other person and are mistaking it for love. Love isn't "feeling butterflies around them" [as someone said in their answer to the question you saw my answer to]. Love is not being able to live without the person. Love is being completely devoted to them and there is almost no doubt. Love is looking at that person, and knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Love is even much more than all those things. It's not "feeling butterflies"; sure that can be a part of it, but generally if you're in love you should have already passed that stage [though who am I to judge?]

Really I didn't mean to say that you cannot be in love unless you are married or about to be that way, I meant to say that JUST because you're in a relationship as a teenager, it doesn't mean you're in love, and most of them really aren't in love. For those relationships that last for awhile [I think I said a year or two?], well then yes, maybe then they can say they are in love, but even that is pushing it to me. My brother and his girlfriend are coming up on 2 years in February, and I don't think they've ever said those words to each other, but I can tell they are completely attached. I just think that it's not always necessary to say you're in "love", when, as a teenager, I know the pressure to say it.

Maybe it's because I'm bitter [for lack of a better word] about an ex-girlfriend whom I was foolish enough to use those three words, and it was because she said it, and naturally, I didn't want to upset her, so I said it back. I think that's the case with most teenage relationships. One of the two thinks they love the person [and they might], and they say "I love you", and then the other person thinks "Oh my gosh- if I don't say it back- they're going to think I don't love them!", and of course, most of them aren't mature to realize [and I wasn't either], that you CAN just say "To be honest, I really really like you, but saying 'I love you' is a little much for me right now,".

I guess part of what I'm saying comes from a song by Snow Patrol, called "Chasing Cars":

"Those three words
Are said too much
But not enough..."

And basically it's saying that everyone says "I love you", but they don't really mean it. They are either saying it to be cool, to keep the relationship, or because they are legitimately confused. But of course there are always exceptions, though most of the people who will claim they are an exception aren't. =P


Thanks for inboxing, it made me think a bit and I enjoyed this one ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

hey

well I'm going to go see scary kids scaring kids in the city on the 3rd & i have no idea what to wear.
i know its not that big of a deal, but i never been to a show so i have no clue. also since its stand up, i have no idea what shoes to wear.
the problem is i'm 5 feet tall & i'm sure i wont be able to see a thing so me and my friend were thinking about wearing heels, but idk. it sounds a little foolish to wear heels to a show.
do you think that would be stupid?

thanks

I don't know, and I certainly don't know why you're asking me?

Maybe just wear a shirt and jeans. As for shoes- heels wouldn't be best because people go crazy at concerts and you'll get pushed and shoved, which can't be comfortable in heels. So try tennis shoes?

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Since 6th grade, i wore a cover up to cover my problem of excessive hair pulling. Well, i have finally gotten over it and now ive been cover up free for about the whole summer. Well, im really nervous to go back to school, i have pictures of me on myspace (etc) of the new me. Idk if everyone has seen them, But alot of people commented them. I am extreamly nervous to walk into school. And im usually the girl who doesn't care what people think, say, or if they stare at me. I'm just really scared that people will stare at me when i walk through the main hallway.. its where EVERYONE hangs out in the morning till the bell rings. My question is: What can i do to just not think about what they will be thinking, looking at, etc? I really just want to act as if i was before, but its kinda hard because im a new me, with hair. please help

Think of this- is what they say REALLY THAT important?

Really it's not. Do THEY decide what you do with yourself? Heck no- YOU do. You do with yourself what you want to [I'm speaking in terms of fashion and good things in general just to clarify]. Who gives a darn what other people think?

It's not up to them to decide what you wear or do with your hair. So be yourself and be proud of who you are.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker