I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I am so very deeply in love with my teacher, I am obsessed with her and crave her immensely. She is such a beautiful and perfect lady. She is 28 and I am 16. I fantasize about her all the time and one of my main fantasies of course is having sex with her. I am wondering, what would happen if me and her had consensual sex? Would she still get in trouble even though it was 100% consensual? What if I went in front of the judge and said that I wanted whatever she did to me and to not punish her. What would happen then? Seriously. I'd be willing to get on my knees in front of the judge and beg and cry not to punish her. This is all hypothetical don't worry it won't actually happen. ALso I hear they go easier on females than males in these kinds of cases (link)
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It's illegal and no moral. She would go to jail for sure and you would need psychiatric counseling to see how wrong this is and move on with your life.
There is ZERO consent involved here about this. You're still 16 and a child.
If 18-years-old you would be seen as an adult but aren't. And even still it would be wrong and a breach of every ethics associated with her profession.
It's okay to have this as a fantasy but it crosses the line big time if you actively try to bring it into existence which you haven't. Whether male or female if you do this with an underage student a judge won't look nicely on you. People can and do go to jail and bloody deserve it for having done this with kids. Too many high-profile cases to even mention.
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I'm a 13 year old girl. My best friend and I have been fighting. We were fighting at her cousins house and she pushed me then kicked me in the head. It really hurt afterwards but I was ok. She betrayed my trust and then lied to me about it. She has been very mean to my boyfriend and he thinks I should stop being her friend (not just for him but for me too). My parents aren't crazy about her either. She used to be nice and actually beautiful, and I don't know what happened to her. I've always found someway to forgive her but this time I don't know. (link)
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People will fade in and out of your life who were great friends at one time with frequency through life. Obviously, you have grown so far apart that it can't be salvaged. Maybe she is jealous of your relationship with the boyfriend or maybe she's become a different person.
At any rate if you don't like her, your parents don't and your boyfriend is pissed with her than let her go. If she should change her behavior in a few months or year than talk to her about what you don't find acceptable and why you broke things off.
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I'm 13 and there's this girl i like. I joined the play because she was joining and our characters dance together, but i really don't like to do plays but i still joined. I had to memorize my lines and some songs but i didn't memorize the songs cause i didn't have time. So i just thought i went to the rehearsals without knowing the songs but i really feel bad... what should i do? (link)
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Everyone has worked hard on that play to ensure its success and because they love it. You will quickly be resented for screwing around and not learning the routines if they don't dump you first. You certainly will not be in favor with her after.
You need to come clean with her and tell her that you really like her and only joined to get to know her better and haven't put in the work. Now you realize that you like her you want to see the play do well but didn't approach it seriously.
Ask for her help in learning the routines and tell the director the truth about needing help. Hopefully, they have time in the rehearsal schedule to do this. If they don't you'll have to leave and handle the consequences.
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Hello!
I have employed two live-in combined nanny girls/housemaid girls/domestic worker girls (who do a lot of worktasks, taking care of our 6 years old daughter, cleaning, cooking, dishwashing/washing, serving and such stuff). For ordinary days, they can wear whatever they want, but special events (like weekends, holidays, parties and such if they're on duty then, I make sure to always have at least one girl on duty every day), I require them to wear a white blouse with a black skirt with a belt and some black shoes, short-length white apron is worn over the skirt (I pay for all these clothes, even extra sets), since I think it's important that they dresses nice, and show a good behaviour.
The girls are 16 and 18 years old, and I know both of them dislike it, but as employees, they have to do this. The youngest girl, who has just been in my employment for some months, seems to be very nervous when it comes to this (serving while dressed in a white blouse with a black skirt).
The first time she was serving, she accidentally spilled over her blouse collar. I told her to immediately dry up, and go putting on a new blouse. After doing as I said, and she apologized. I told her everything was OK, but she maybe would need a little bit more training.
The upcoming times, the younger girl seemed very nervous when serving, but I thought it was just at the start. The girl continued to act what I thought was carless, one time spilling on her left blouse pocket. Some weeks later, I told her to sit down for a meeting, and told her that I can accept her doing mistakes as long as she always do her best, but I can't accept her acting careless.
I soon found out that she was still nervous when serving. I told her just to take a breath, calm down and concentrate at the serving. The girl said she disliked being required to wear those clothes, but I said she has to wear them.
She was sad, but I tried to comfort her, and said that she could train away it. I went to our living room, and told her to come out with a tray, starting in her ordinary clothes. She did it everything well. Soon, I told her to put on the blouse and skirt. I made sure she had done all buttons, and put the blouse inside the skirt and that stuff.
I told her to come out with a tray once again, but now she said she was nervous again. After some training, the girl started to cry, and said she couldn't help it. But as she told she tried to do her best, I just said she would need more training. Then I told her every time she had done everything well.
But still, everything was as usual again, so I summoned for her another meeting, where I also summoned the older girl, who I employed earlier, and told her if she could give the younger girl any tips. I can't recall the older girl being that nervous from the start (except just the first times, but not weeks and months later.) The older girl, who also has spilled sometimes, just said there is nothing to be nervous for, just focus.
What can I do to help the younger girl calming down? I have made one thing for sure: As long as these girls work in my house, they will have to wear white blouse and black skirt for serving, and that's nothing they can change. I know they don't like it, but that's not what I want them to do, just accept it (without complaining). But as she seems to try doing her best, I still want to know how to handle this, hoping she will get less nervous.
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I can understand that you want them looking sharp for special events. However, if something about the uniforms make them feel uncomfortable LISTEN. It's better to reach a compromise than have your workers upset, resentful and not liking work.
You'll find the girl and her co-worker's productivity will go up and mistakes decrease if you relax your stance and aren't as strict with her and them. All you really want is for them to look put together when at an event. That's not unreasonable.
Instead of the white blouse and black skirt ask them what they feel comfortable in that looks sharp and professional. Have them show you, go shopping with them and see what they pick. It doesn't have to be identical either.
If you ask them to find something business casual or business like that they can live with than you've solved a lot of problems. This crap (and it is) about as long as they work here they have to wear that uniform is getting you nowhere.
The girl is doing her best but is clearly frightened of you and the attitude and although focused slips up as she has no confidence in herself. I think if she spills something etc. don't make a big deal of it. Her performance if she's comfortable with you will improve. Give it time but if she was honest with you it's clear you frighten her.
Loosen up! Chuck the self-important rich type attitude and learn how to bend already. Get rid of this as long as they work here garbage and compromise so everyone is 100% happy. There's a lot they both can teach you when it comes to what is important.
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Im 14 years old and from britain.me and a girl have unofficially started dating.she told me that she would give me a handjob and blowjob if i want but i have a 4" erect penis and a tight foreskin which i can only retract about a centimeter or maybe two back.im scared she will laugh or tell people about my penis and will pull the foreskin too far back.how far back does the foredkin go during blowjobs?anyway i really want to do this but am i too small or will my tight foreskin get in the way?thans for your help;) (link)
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You should tell her the truth. Let her know you would enjoy this a lot but are uncircumcised. Let her know that men who are uncircumcised should be able to pull the skin back to reveal the glans (head) easily.
Those who can't need to see their doctor about a dorsal slit that will loosen it and enable you to pull it back for cleansing etc (circumcision is only recommended in real extreme cases).
Tell her until you see a doctor about loosening the foreskin you're scared of tearing something or hurting your penis. I think and rather know she'd understand this fully.
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22f. I recently had my first physical experience with a guy. All we did was make out and sleep in bed together but it was still a big deal to me.
He's handsome but skinny and has a really boyish face and voice. Also some of his outfits are very middle school boy-esque, like his mom went to the store and bought all his clothes. None of these immature things about his appearance dawned on me until we got physical. That one night also made me recognize how TRULY insecure and immature he is as a person. We only hung out like 3 times but I wasn't into him from the start. I have had feelings for guys before and nothing about this even remotely reached that emotional level.
I thought, ok not so much into him but first hookup chance maybe?
When we made out, he initiated it verbally instead of just doing it (he was really awkward about initiating anything but was too antsy to just sit there). His lips were very tight and tense over mine (is this normal?) and when I tried to use my tongue he didn't loosen up his lips to let my tongue in his mouth.
Afterwards, we continued to cuddle and he kept rubbing my legs up and down in creepy back and forth motions with his fingers. Is THIS normal?
Finally we went to bed and he stripped down to his boxers and immediately turned off the light so I wouldn't see him (his lack of self-esteem has been one of the main turn-offs in this whole experience). I only have a small bed so naturally, it was uncomfortable. I kept waking up throughout the night and EVERY time I moved, he did too. At one point I inched away from him to get a bit of air and he moved closer and full out spooned me. He also had his hand on my ass the ENTIRE night and I can't say why but this seemed very boyish/childish. Part of me also feels like he didn't have the right to. I don't know, it just creeps me out. At one point in bed he started fiddling with his crotch for like 15 seconds.
He also had a boner from 9pm, when we started hanging out all the way up to the morning. I know guys get boners but doesn't getting one just from standing a foot apart talking to me seem a little 14-year old? Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know.
In the morning, I wanted to puke (partially from being hungover) and I was absolutely certain I was not into him. I didn't want him to be there anymore but of course didn't kick him out or anything. Everything clicked and I suddenly realized how clingy, immature, and insecure he is as a person. I washed my blankets because they had his scent on them.
I'm so attracted to the idea of having a confident attractive MAN to totally lead the way and dominate me. with GAME. I need to be told what to do in physical situations. I want to feel like a young girl, not a mother or a babysitter! Now I know why teenage girls date guys who are older so often. Are my expectations too high?
He's a very nice person and I don't think he did anything wrong. I can definitely emphasize with self-esteem issues but I'm not looking to add his to mine. and I was very kind and respectful throughout the whole thing. Can you just tell me that there's someone out there who won't make me feel like I'm cuddling with one of my younger brother friends? Ewwww. I just feel like there's something wrong with me because of my urgent desire to be physical with guys all the time and now it's finally happened and it was utterly unenjoyable.
Please tell me there's somethng better out there. This is starting to make me think I'm gay even though I'm soooooo attracted to men and have never felt sexually attracted to women before. and I'm very honest with myself. The lack of personal connection played a large factor but most girls can hook up with guys they don't even know and love it! What's wrong with me? I'm worried I'll turn into a dried-up hag! (link)
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If you weren't interested in him than you should NEVER have hung out 3 times. You weren't meaning to but that led him on as did making out and especially sleeping in the same bed together. What's he supposed to think there?
When it comes to clothing or style it's easy to change and you can teach him that his wardrobe isn't appealing to you or others in your opinion.
What's happened here is that he's a guy with ZERO experience with females. You're the first girl to come along with a remote interest in him. He's NEVER kissed anyone so he wanted to ask first if it was okay.
He doesn't read signals easily and wanted to avoid a bad moment or reaction if he just went in. Same thing with technique you have to teach him what feels good to you. Confidence can be learned over time. It may be fun to teach him.
Erections happen especially during sleep or if he was thinking of something sexual. That probably happened because of an attraction to you and sleeping though clothed with you. It's embarrassing but not something he had control over.
I think his only misstep here was touching that part of his body next to you for 15 seconds or so. That you don't do. As embarrassing as it was chalk it up to his naivety and let all of this slide.
I think your problem is that you're asking for two much or have unrealistic expectations that every guy you meet must conform to. This guy is rough around the edges but has warmth, humor and a genuine interest and love for you. I think you can learn to love him back and forgive the stuff he doesn't know and make him the boyfriend you want.
Also, there's NOTHING wrong with craving to constantly be touched, loved, kissed, or even have sex. As long as you are responsible and tell your partner that this is what will happen and that there's no US or a relationship after it's okay but I wouldn't get into that habit. At least your partner would know where he stands.
As far as those girls who can have sex with anyone and then ditch them without guilt that's for them. This is you and you have more scruples and need not to hurt anyone or yourself and a strong moral compass.
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It's been almost two weeks and the suspense is killing me!!!.... I'm pretty young and I am not able to go get a pregnancy test... So I'm here wondering if their is a home thing that I can do without my parents finding out????... I really need this so I can get it officially off my mind (link)
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I'm not sure how young is pretty young but here's the best thing you could do. Do you have a close-friend and her mom that you could confide that you had sex and need to find out if you are pregnant?
You could confide in them NOT to say anything unless you are pregnant and to help if you are in telling your folks. This adult and your friend could buy the proper tests and you could find out in the bathroom. Parents wouldn't know unless you were in fact pregnant. Try that. You could also buy a test and do it at school and toss it but you should involve an adult confidant in my opinion.
Only worry about parents if it does turn out positive. At least you will be able to relax this way and know 100% sure.
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Ok so i have only ever been out with guys. But there has always been something missing, apart from this one guy.
And i have become a lot more attracted to women lately - Not like "yeah i want to bang them" more of - "they're beautiful". Its hard to explain - and its hard to admit to myself i could be gay.
But i find myself looking at women more than men. And because of a certain incident - i would rather be with a woman, because i find guys can be too ... you know...
So yeah - i need help. I think i might be but can't admit it to myself.
I have kissed a girl - none of us shyed away.
Just need an outsiders point of view.
Oh and btw - yeah i have seriously fallen for this girl. So bad.
I have gfell for women before also... But also fell for guys - but never fell for a guy like i have fallen for these women (link)
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It would appear you are strongly attracted to males sexually and females too. That's fine. You aren't gay but rather bi-sexual based on what you have indicated to us.
You like both sexes equally and could happily partner with either. There's nothing wrong with you nor anything to be ashamed to admit. It may be overwhelming at first but this question/answer thing could really help in becoming accustomed and okay with what sexual orientation you are. There's lots of support here. I'm around if you need anything. Hit my inbox.
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Hey everyone! Im an eight grade boy who goes to school in oregon. So i had a really good friend ( a girl ) who i liked. Ok, well not liked, loved i guess. All i thought about was her. I dreamed about her. I thought about having a future with her. I loved this girl. Everything about her. Her smile, her love for animals, she was pretty smoking hot too. So anyways, she got a boyfriend (which crushed me) and i noticed they moved rather fast. He was touching her butt after one week. So since she had started to date this guy, our friendship became foggier and foggier. I asked her why she had not been talking to me, and somehow she ended up tellimg me that she had been doing stuff she wasnt proud of. Things like cutting herself and being anerexic. Once she had told me this, my heart just completely flopped. I told her that she was perfect and beautiful just the way she was and i told her i loved her (i was not lying)and she told me not to tell anyone. Now, a little sidenote, her boyfriend and i were bros, and i couldnt handle all of the pressure inside of me, i ended up telling her boyfriend, and he cared as well. She stopped talking to me and removed me on facebook, and blocked my phone. I love this girl and i cant just sit here and watch her deteriorate, as well as completely rip me out of her life. Since then, i have been extremely suicidal (attempted suicide 7 times) and i still love her. Somehow i need closure with her. She wont acknowlage my existance at school, and she told me that if i got hit by a train, it would be the happiest day of her life. I love this girl beyond measure and i dont know what to do. (link)
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If you have tried to kill yourself 7 times over an issue as trivial as this you need counseling from a psychiatrist. That's me being blunt, direct and truthful. Something quite amiss with that.
The girl is extremely troubled to a level you may not even fully be aware of yet. She's bad news as a love match for anything. She's a hot mess. You're lucky not to be involved romantically. Trust me.
She thought she could confide in you and that you wouldn't tell people. Like all people know when someone's health and safety are involved you tell as that's the right thing to have done.
She's being controlled by the illness and resents you for bringing it to light and telling her boyfriend. Let things die down and you'll see as she gets help with her disorder that she'll see you always meant her well. She may hate you for this temporarily but let teachers know she said she cut herself and was suffering from an eating disorder in confidence as you don't keep that to yourself.
There's an old saying that sometimes if you love someone you have to let them go. Sometimes we love people who are right for us but meet them when it's wrong for them or us at the time. There's no telling that if meant to be it'll happen without effort on either side but for now after telling a teacher let both of them go. Nobody said it was easy but it's necessary. See a shrink seriously about trying to end your life multiple times over this. Nobody is worth that and you aren't thinking at all properly. Not well my friend based on your own description.
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Im 13 and im suffering from rape since i was 9.I was bullied,raped,molested and threatened.I cried,cried and cried but no one hears my voice.I want to be like other children but i am not.I am a bad and dirty girl.I want to end my life and i will and i deserve it.Yesterday I was again raped.Is this why,I came in the world so that people use me like a disposiable toy. (link)
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You NEED to tell someone who did it, how long they have done it for and have that person contact authorities for you to arrest that person. It doesn't matter if the molester is family or not they need help and you need to be free of it.
The best thing you can do is tell your teacher privately that you have been molested since you were 9-years-old and by the same person but your family hasn't done anything about it (from the sounds of your letter anyways) Mention the threats and bullying.
They will go to the authorities and make sure you are free of this crap. This is what they are trained to know how to do. Next, you do have a ton to live for but need counseling and support to understand this after such a hellish situation.
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Okay so last year i was forming a relationship w/ a guy then ended a friendship she turned bitter then her and a group of friends made up stuff to make him mad so he got upset cut me out of his life and never talked to me again and now ive been receiving hate messages about the situation.what do i do?! (link)
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Move on. Before you do try and figure out who is electronically bullying you about it. Only a handful of so-called friends or enemies know details to begin with.
Show your parents and school admin the hateful and or nasty communications and have them teach the sender or senders a lesson. If it came to it you can have people charged with harassment if it's a non-stop 24/7 thing from the same sources.
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My friend Hannah smokes ALOT of pot and it is so concerning. Im 18 and she is 20. Yes, she is old enough to make her own decisions, but at the same time, I don't want to hang out with someone thats on the benefit (gets money from the government), sits at home with her boyfriend in bed all day, every day and just smokes pot. Me and my friend had to literally go and get her from her house just to get her out of the house. I have tried talking to her 10000000 times about it and it just turns into an argument. Im just at the point like 'this is useless' and give up. What do I do!!!! (link)
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She is old enough to make her own decisions but does indeed have a problem and likely cannot see it. She should not be using benefits from the government to support that lifestyle and not work out of laziness.
If she does have a physical problem or legit reason for being on welfare than it's different. If you are concerned for her and her friends, teachers, and parents are too staging a private intervention could help show her it's an issue. Aside from that if she doesn't want to change nothing will bring about it.
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Okay so, my dream is to be famous. To be a singer/actress. But the things is, i get nervous and shy to sing in front of certain people or big crowds. I know im good, im not conceded or anything but i dont know why i get so nervous if i know im good? help? I dont know what the problem is. (link)
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Even well-known performers don't like being in front of an audience. It might be a fear in your case of screwing up or not sounding right in a live environment.
In that case try and focus on singing to one person or a spot on the wall and deliver the song as though you were alone. When on stage you can barely see the people in the front row due to the lights and shouldn't be looking there.
If you want to sing you need a voice coach who can make sure you are doing so properly and give you performing tips. With acting it's the same thing take all the courses, improv and whatever else you can and get into community and youth theater.
Your goal shouldn't be to be famous. Your goal should be to become a great singer/actor. Fame or success of any degree and people appreciating that talent will come from that. Working your butt off and eventually making it look easy is key and what sets performers apart.
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I met my friend back about 2 months ago when she first moved into the apartment complex. This woman is 52 and lives alone. I live across the hall from her so I would visit often. We both gradually started getting into refurbishing our old furniture, shopping together and hanging out. We seemed to of got along very well. (I am 27) suddenly, yesterday I come home from my mothers to find all my board games I gave too her grandson in front of my door with a note that read already have thanks anyway then to find out she removed me from Facebook and now walks by me like I don't exist?. I don't know what the hell too think. I went out of my way to help her many times. I even texted and called her bit no answer. I am not good with confrontation in person...should I move on or what? (link)
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Move on. Not worth it. You tried to figure out what the issue was and maintain contact. Beyond that don't worry about it. It's her issue and NOT yours. Perhaps she heard a rumor or something. I dunno. Something very weird here. I would let it go. It's stupid to confront her over this as it won't make you popular with neighbors or even landlord if she's a complainer.
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hey! ok well i am a freshman girl at a catholic school and am considered pretty "popular". im over all a good student and person. me and my bf have been going out for 4 months. he wads my first kiss and he has felt me up and ive given him a hand job.The other day, he fingered me and i gave him head. we will most likely do it again and i was wondering how often it is ok to give blow jobs and be fingered? and if so what are the health risks of these things?? we have both never had any sexual expiriences before. HELP! thanks! xoxox (link)
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Neither of you have had sex with anyone else and or non-intercourse sexual activity. This would mean that you can't pick up an STD. As far as frequency goes it all comes down to what you both prefer and enjoy doing. More or less just relax and go with the flow here.
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I woke up at 2:30am throwing up and then two hours later i throw up again and i might do it again? what is wrong with my stomach? (link)
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We're not doctors and cannot nor will not diagnose. If it persists beyond tomorrow see a doctor. Odds are it's a bit of a bug or you may have eaten something that disagreed with you or that you are allergic too. Sauces, cheeses, dairy can do that or anything rich.
What you can do is try taking Gravol. It will make you sleepy but it also will make it so that nothing in your stomach comes up and out. That'll give you enough time to consult a doctor or try to recover as it stops it usually from happening.
Be sure of one thing drink lots of tea and juice when your stomach settles. Cranberry is good for nauseau as is green tea. But above all drinking several bottles of water once your stomach settles is key. Vomiting leads you to be dehydrated easily so you have to re-hydrate.
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My boyfriend and I are in 8th grade. We've been dating for 9 months. He gets upset because we can't find anything to talk about and its really getting on my nerves. I tried to make conversation with him but he said he didn't want to ask me anything :( I think of what to say when I'm not with him but when I'm with him I forget what I was gonna say. I feel like we're going to break up because we don't know what to talk about. What does a 14 year old boy like talking about with a 13 year old girl? (link)
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You know what the problem is? You guys are wasting too much damn time thinking of what to say than just relaxing and being yourselves. Be in the moment and just let things flow like you would talking to anyone else.
Both of you need to do that. Just let things go loose and whatever comes to mind spontaneously will. However, if you talk about mutual interests, movies, games or whatever you are in to that could help. I think you are both a little nervous and scared and need to relax a little and see that the less thinking about what to say rather than just talking in the moment about anything at all will make this easier as you go along. No need to breakup. You just have to learn how to communicate.
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So I like this guy and I think that he likes me back but I'm 16 and he is 18 about to turn 19. I have never dated an older guy before so I don't know if that is weird or not. We know each other pretty well. I was a freshman and he was a senior last year. He is really cute and nice and I really like him but I don't know if the age difference is weird or not. Is it? (link)
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If I were you I would talk to your parents about it. I know you probably don't want to but if you tell them about this boy and the connection you have and bring him around the house first they'll probably give you heir blessing.
You're 16 and he's 18. That's not that big an age gap or a problem with maturity and ability to handle things. I don't know how the legal system in the U.S. works but can't fathom how he could get in trouble over age when it's 2 years separating you. That's why you talk to parents. They can enlighten you on whether this is acceptable or legal.
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I have a bad sore throat it hurts every time I sallow. Also I get a sharp pain in my ears. I have no fever or any other symptoms. I have taken some medicine to see if it will go away but it doesn't. Do I need to have my tosils removed? (link)
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This is something only a doctor could give definitive answers to. What you should do is book an appointment while still sick and have them see inside your throat to make a call.
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My friend committed suicide almost two years ago and I still feel guilty. I am in my senior year of college and I do not want to graduate and I feel guilty whenever I do anything enjoyable that she did not get to do (she died in the middle of her senior year). I feel like I am partly responsible for her death and I do not want to do the things she couldn't. I do not think she would be angry with me now but I still cannot get past the feeling of being partially responsible for what happened. I miss her terribly and I feel like I have not really made any progress in grieving for her, and I'm not sure what to do from here because at this point I feel stuck. Any ideas or support will be helpful because I feel really alone in this, so thank you in advance for your response. (link)
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Grief is normal. The reality is that your friend made this choice and likely had mental-health issues you're not privy to driving it.
This was her horrible choice and no matter what is NOT in any way,shape, form your fault or for you to feel guilty over. No matter what you may have said or done prior to the event this is in no way something you caused or lead her to do fighting or not over anything.
I feel you are in dire need of some professional counseling on this to work through the grief, guilt and other feelings bottled up inside. It's been 2 years and it's time to move forward with your life.
She may be gone but you need to live still, graduate, enjoy life but always carry her with you. The greatest thing you could do is honor her in your own way while gradually moving forward. Perhaps become involved in anti-bullying clubs, suicide prevention (in schools and out) and mental-health groups to prevent people from making the choice she did.
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