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My friend smokes way to much weed.
My friend Hannah smokes ALOT of pot and it is so concerning. Im 18 and she is 20. Yes, she is old enough to make her own decisions, but at the same time, I don't want to hang out with someone thats on the benefit (gets money from the government), sits at home with her boyfriend in bed all day, every day and just smokes pot. Me and my friend had to literally go and get her from her house just to get her out of the house. I have tried talking to her 10000000 times about it and it just turns into an argument. Im just at the point like 'this is useless' and give up. What do I do!!!!
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She's 20...therefore she can do anything she wants. You shouldn't judge her just because she likes something and you shouldn't be there to control her. You can tell her to smoke less of it, but don't tell her to stop because that's her own choice.
It's either you can tolerate it or you can't. I suggest you hang with other people who don't smoke weed then and stay a farther distance from those who do smoke weed.
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You really shouldn't judge another's life.
Personally, if you don't see them every day, or even hang around that much, you can say all you want but it doesn't make it truth.
See, I'm in a similar position, that's why I can say this. It's nothing at all as you describe it, I'm not lazy, I'm not mooching off the government, etc.
But from the outside looking in, someone could and have described my lifestyle exactly as you're describing it about your friend.
When you look at me, there doensn't seem to be anything wrong, but there is a lot wrong.
I have social anxiety (I can't even answer a phone - that's how bad it is.)
And I do smoke BUT it is legal where I live so no worries.
Also, please do not judge people who smoke weed, because I used to be the same as you. I used to HATE IT until my boyfriend had to get it medically for his back (because of his size no pain medications work for him and it is the only thing that helps him with his pain.)
I have seen it work, in both myself and my boyfriend.
I'm not lazy at all.
Part of my stress and my depression come from lack of a job which no one will hire me for.
Everyone is going to tell you that weed/pot/marijuana is bad, but if that's the case how come no one has ever died from it?
The only time it is bad, is when you get addicted to it (which it isn't addictive, but anything can be addictive to the right person).
How did you bring it up? Were you strict? Curious? Mad?
Sometimes that in itself plays a major role.
For the best results, be polite and respectful.
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She is old enough to make her own decisions but does indeed have a problem and likely cannot see it. She should not be using benefits from the government to support that lifestyle and not work out of laziness.
If she does have a physical problem or legit reason for being on welfare than it's different. If you are concerned for her and her friends, teachers, and parents are too staging a private intervention could help show her it's an issue. Aside from that if she doesn't want to change nothing will bring about it.
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Well, you said yourself that she's old enough to make her own decisions.
Maybe your next conversation with Hannah should be that you aren't going to try to help her anymore. As in, let her know that she does, in fact, need help, but you're done, and BE done.
If she's not going to listen to you, and she's going to actually argue against your attempts to help her, she's not ready to accept help or change her ways. Let her know, though, that should she choose to seek help, you will be there for her.
I'm sure she'll be happy for awhile, since you won't be there to tell her "no," but after that initial happiness occurs, there'll be a "hey... I don't see my friend anymore. What happened?" and other such slow realizations on her part.
Honestly, there's nothing you can do to to force her to fix this. It has to come from her, at this point, and you need to move on with your life for now.
Best of luck to you. Feel free to contact me on Skype or AIM as SirenCytherea is my screen name, or inbox me here, and I'll respond.
Hang in there; Happy new year.
Siren
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