Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84194
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well im really confused im sorry this is a dumb question but i am dumb ok well if you get a paypal account does that mean that i get payed or i have to pau?? im sory its stupid but im confused please help i will rate high for any suggestions (link)
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You use paypal to buy things over the internet. LIke on ebay. You need a credit card to open a paypal account. I have ond and I used to to sell things on ebay. The winning bidder would send money to my paypal account, and I would go there and ask paypal to send me a check or wire the money to my bank account. I also paid for things that I bought. NOt just on ebay. I used to go to this web page to buy large quanitities of bubble wrap for shipping glass ware. I would pay for the bubble wrap with my paypal account. Paypal would charge my credit card, or take the funds out of my account, and pay the guy who then shipped me the bubble wrap. If you are on paypal as a BUYER. and people PAY YOU for things you have for sale, than Paypal keeps a percentage of the money that is paid to you.
SO keep that in mind.
If you sell on ebay they keep a percentage too.
Before you know, you're not making any money, but everyone else is. That is why I don't sell on ebay anymore.
Oh well, Hope this helped.
Michele
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ok see i started goin out with this boy tony 2 days ago and my friend katie used to go out with him!! but now she has a boyfriend that she says she luvs so much!! his name is travis!! and she used to be in luv with tony(the boii i go out with)!! and everytime im around her she always talks badd stuff on him!! she tells me how he will ditch me and stuff!! everytime i tell her stuff that he says gOOd about me she always says"he doesnt mean that"! part of me thinks shes jealus! and everytime im over her house and he calls she always runs to the phone and she will never let me talk to him! and i dont think its fair cause she has a boyfriend!! i think she is madd that i go out with tony but wen i ask her she says she aint madd!! so i dont kno wat to b~leave!! can sum 1 rly giv me good advise to tell her or him!!???!? cause its breaking my hart!! ~kayla~ IM me on AIM at eckoprincess1169 (link)
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Well I think you are right. Actions speak LOUDER than words. She is jealous. She want you two to break up because she couldn't hold on to him. If she continues you may just have to choose. Can you just keep the two of them separated? Tell him not to call you when you are at her house. enjoy your friendship when you are with her, and enjoy your relationship when you are with him.
If your relationship with him was meant to be....it won't matter what she does to ruin it.
Michele
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Is it ok to still think you pretty even though, some people think you ugly, or if they call you ugly then you should go ahead and say your ugly. I'm having that kind of problem. My whole entire family says I'm pretty and cute but I don't know if they're just saying that. My aunt told me that she wasn't saying that just to make me feel good, she said that she SERIOUSLY thinks that im pretty. Even my friend says every body should think their pretty because that was called self confidence. But i just don't know... (link)
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It is just your age that makes you so insecure. I also believe that you are pretty. But most girls you age are so self-conscious, they don'[t feel pretty. It will come in time. Stop comparing yourself to the other girls in school, go to the grocery store and WalMarts and really LOOK at the shoppers there, the older people. That will make you feel pretty. But in time you will know yourself for who you are. Just remember it is wonderful to be pretty on the outside, but it is also just as important to be pretty on the inside. Pretty and nice are a great combination,that will win you all kinds of attention when you are a young adult. Wish there was a way to make it come faster, but there is not. We all age the same way, one day at a time.
Michele
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Do you HAVE to be pretty to get a boyfriend? Because in my school, some guys act like they NEED to find the prettiest girl in the world and they be calling almost evry girl ugly... (link)
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No,you don't, but that won't change until you kids all get older. You'll see when you are a young lady, at work or in college, looking like you just came off of the cover of a magazine will not be the most important thing about you. AND, those guys that ONLY go for TOP MODEL types will seem shallow. Which they are.
I am sorry, but you will have to be patient. Being a teenager can really suck. But it will be over one day. Sooner than you think. Concentrate on getting an education and being smart and confident.Men find confidence VERY SEXY.
Michele
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I have horrible handwriting.It is realy hard to read it.Once I got sent to the principal just because of my handwriting.My teacher said I should go to a doctor.I went for a dance class and you had to bend your thumb and keep your other fingers flat.I ended up bending all my fingers.I was the only one who could not do that.My mother will not take me to a doctor,she says we'll get laughed out of his clinic.Some times even I can't read my hand writing.I am 13/f.
Is there something wrong with me? (link)
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I know exactly what you mean. I have horrible handwriting too. Have had it all my life. I got in soooo much trouble when I was young. I went to a catholic school, and penmanship was so important. The schools were enter into contests for penmanship. The nuns told me that my handwriting was giving the whole school a bad name. I cried a lot. Nothing has ever changed. I do notice that caffene and stuff like that makes it worse. I think it is because I think faster than I can write, so I write so fast, that it is illegible. Even to me. (like you) The best thing I did was take typing in school. That was over 30 years ago. when computers came along, I was ready to go, because I can type or keyboard using all fingers. Actually I type about 75 words a minute. And I am very accurate. And I type most of my notes, and letters and messsages. And print them. It has saved me. Even personal notes. I apologize and just say that my handwriting is terrible. I was a bookkeeper for many years. Recorded everything by hand. It did hurt me with some jobs. But now everything is computerized and I don't have to write anything any more. Practice your keyboarding. It will help you a lot. Now, about the only thing I do sign is my name.
(hey listen, I am very smart and have a great career and have accomplished a lot in my life, so my handwriting did not hold me back. It won't hold you back either, unless you let it.)
Michele
Hope this helps.
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How exactly do you become part of SAG (Screen Actors Guild)? (link)
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WEll they must have a web site, look for it on the intenet. YOu have to have had some work in the theater or movies or plan to find some. If you are an actress or actor, you should have an agent, and they could tell you. I know that they are in California. So find them on the internet and see what the requirements are.
Michele
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how early can you tell if you are pregnant? I am 16 and i am on the patch, i got off my regular schedule of the patch a month ago or so. The past three days i have had nausia and stomach aches, and they feel different than i have ever had. I also just have a gut feeling i might be pregnant, i jsut bought a pregnancy test tonight, and i plan on takeing it toamrrow morning. IT is one of those 5 days before your missed period, and today is fri and i should be getting my period on sun,mon, or tues. I can't wait though, im really nervous. and i am wondering if it does come out negative tomarrow, if it could be wrong just because of how early it is?
now also, do i tell the guy i'm sleeping with? because i am afraid he will not like me ne more, and i am pretty sprung off of him right now. i mean i know that if i am pregnant its early and i could probably take a pill, but either way i am not haveing a baby so is there even a need to let him know? he is jsut gunna get all worked up about it and upset, and he ahs a lot going on right now as it is. (link)
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Well if you are going to have an abortion, it is not ones business but your own. So you can keep it to yourself if you want to. But do you have the money to pay for it? Won't he help with that. He is responsible also. You took precautions, but they failed, it happens. If you decide to abort it, then he should help pay. ONe thing that I noticed when I got pregnant, immediately, long before a test would have been accurate was that my breasts were very very sore. They aso got larger very fast. Do you have any smptoms like that. IN any event, take the test, but it if is negative, take it again. Hopefully you are not pregnant, and will get your period. Please take additional precautions next time. Tell him he has to use a condom also.
Michele
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I am a married women. Now I wanted to coceive . I went to doctor that what are fertility period ,she brief me but don't understand. As per my understanding I understand that My periods starts on 6 May,05 after 10 days like 15 May,05 till 24 may,05 is the fertility period you can do sex on those 10 days you will be pregnant . Am I right or wrong (link)
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I think that is correct. The middle of the month, between your two periods is the most fertile. Good luck.
Michele
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ok so i like this senior. I am a sophomore. Well he wants me to get to know him like he would say little hints to me online. I also asked him for his number. Which i got, i want to call him(And i dont know what to talk to him about..!) but everytime at school he ignores me. Like he Doesnt EVEN say HI !!! Usually i talk to him on myspace but he hasnt been on for awhile. And He also has a job.. which keeps him busy.. and another problem, some of his friends dont like me, and i sorta dont like them.
Oh im also shy and so is he.
Should i just givve up.
Or
keep trying ??!!?
Btw this has been going on for about a month now.
thanks ill rate ! (link)
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If he is not ready to show you some attention in school in front of his friends, then hes friend's opinion of him is more important than your feelings. Find some one else who would be happy to be with you anywhere, anytime. And show you some respect.
Michele
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my b/f nd i have only gotten into two fights. the first fight was the worst thing ever! he was upset because i said the new kid was hott (omg he was freaking amazingly hott!!) well neway, he went off and started screaming at me nd it made me cry. he found out he made me cry and he was so upset nd kept telling me that he is so sorry and that he has anger problems nd he could never hurt me. well when we went out just 2day he got mad again and started yelling in public. it really upsets me and i hate when he yells and the weird thing, is that he doesnt even realize it. his mom was telling me that his dad is a very angry person and yells constintly. my b/f tells me all the time he is working on it and he never means to yell, it just happens. how can i get him to realize that he is yelling, or how can i get him to stop? he thinks i'm afraid of him, but i'm not!! i need help, fast! (link)
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WEll I wish you a lot of luck honey. I went throug this. only in my case it was my husband. I married him too fast. I did not get the time to get to know him. If he had displayed that much anger to me before I married him, I never would have. But he managed to keep it hidden. We weren't married one week when he started in on me. It got worse and worse. And I heard the same story from his mother, "he is trying to work on it." and from him. "I am trying to work on it." but he wasn't really. We went into therapy. He did everything he could to hide it. I finally gave up and decided that I was not going to live like that. The divorce was awful. I am lucky I got out with my life. Now I ALWAYS pay attention to the way a guy deals with anger. AND I WILL NEVER, NEVER NEVER date someone who cannot control their anger. It does not matter how many time he apologises. IT can never make up for the mean rotten, and demeaning things he said to me. And I NEVER gave him a reason. I never even looked at another guy. HOney, some people out there are just sick, and it is best to stay away from them.
Good luck to you. You will need it.
Michele
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Hey guys um I weight 128 and I am 13 I have been trying to loose some weight. But I never can how is the fastest why to loose weight like 10 in a week or 2 please tell thinks (link)
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Cut all fat out of your diet. Read the labels and see what food you eat that contains fat. I mean the nutrition labels. Foods that are high in fat are
Whole milk
ice cream
potato chips
cookies
cakes
pies
cheese
cheese
cheees
especially cheese
cheetos
doritos
snack only on pretzels and low fat popcorn
no candy
no soda
drink lots of water
consume low fat versions of
milk
yogurt
drink lots of water
eat lots of fruits and veggies
white meat chicken and turkey or fish
no red meat.
Eat a piece of chicken or turkey no larger than the size of your hand.
Cereal is a good snack food. Choose cereals low in fat and low in sugar, have with skim milk.
Eat dairy, fruit and cereal in the am.
snack on fruit
eat dairy, fruit, 4 oz of meat, and one slice of break, and veggies or salad for lunch
repeat for dinner.
have a smalll bowl of cereal with low fAT milk as a snack after dinner.
follow this NO CHEATING, and you will loose 10 lbs in two weeks.
This is taken form the FAT TO MUSCLE DIET. It is a book, see if you can find a copy.
Michele
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are boobs really important to guys? should i be "showing some skin" to get boys to like me? girls are always talking about who they made out with at the last party..should i be doing stuff with guys to get more popular? (link)
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Yes if you want to be popular for all the wrong reasons.
Michele
and oh yes, Boobs are only important to the guys that think a girl is nothing but a pair of boobs. What about brains, about your feelings, don't they matter too. They will to the right guy.
Michele
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I'm 13 and I love music. I play the violin adn the piano and I also kind of sing. I really want to be a music producer (btw i get straight a's), so how can I get on that track to be a producer? What highschool courses should i take? What should I do to prepare? How can I get a job? (link)
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Well most high schools have a band and music classes. And they also have drama classes. In drama you could choose and/or produce music for the plays and other forms of entertainment. If you do well in these courses in high school, by the time you junior year comes, you should start looking at colleges. the best music schools are in NYC. But there are others. Good luck to you and keep up the good work.
Michele
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I have a friend, who I know her boyfriend of 6 months is cheating on her. I went ahead and told her...now I need to know what to tell her from here...I want to be there for her, but I don't know anything to help cheer her up? (Please keep in mind that I'm only in high school, so I'm limited) (link)
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Well I am sure that she is hurt. YOu can tell her that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way, and that she didn't do anything to bring it on. I learned the hard way myself. I has nothing to do with the girl that they are with. She can be beautiful, smart, and even good in bed, and having sex with her too, and they still cheat. It is a problem with the guy. Hey you know who Halle Berry is right. Beautiful, smart, rich. Her husband cheated on her! Can you imagine. Says he had a sexual addiction. She stayed with him through therapy so he could get better, then she dumped his sorry a*ss. Then he has the nerve to turn around and sue her for alimony. Some men. You can tell your girl friend, and remember this yourself. There are some lousy men/boys out there, real creeps. But they are always on their best behavior in the beginning. Take the time to get to know someone better. And don't let the one that are rotten get away with it. He just goes on to the next girl and she accepts him as he is. He never changes. Guys won't change their bad behavior until women turn their backs on them and refuse to put up with it.
I hope this helps It is really nice of you to want to be there for your friend.
Michele
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Hi, it's John/16 I wrote to you about whether or not my sister would be safe if I gave her to the state. You told me that I have some things in order for you to help me. So, I live in Maryland and I'm not catholic so I wouldn't know if there was one of those catholic charity things. When my dad died all he had was $800 saved up that he left to us and that's all gone. I don't have anyone that will help me out neighbors aren't exactly friendly and we don't have any relatives so that's not an option. I'm making $150 a month and we live in an apartment that charges me to pay $90 a month and that includes electricity and heat. That leaves me $60 for food and car payments. It's not enough and I need to have a car because I have no other way to get to my job. I looked for different ways of transportation and there just isn't any. I usually end up working odd jobs to get enough money to cover everything and I just barely make payments on everything and sometimes I don't have enough for food so I have to get it in other ways (stealing). I don't want to keep doing this. It's not fair to Sarah and she deserves a lot better than this. But I don't want to put her in danger. I can do it. I'll drop out of school if I have to I just want to do whatever will keep her safest. Thak you for your help and I hope that's enough information and thank you for your help.
John (link)
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HI John, I am glad that you wrote again. You don't have to be catholic to use the services of Catholic Charities. SO don't let the name fool you. They do not discriminate. And Like I said, in CT, they do handle adoptions. I don't know if they do in maryland. It should be easy enough to find out. I wish I knew someone who could help you. If you don't mind I will do some searching on the State of Maryland Web site, and I will look for Catholic Charities and see if they have a web site. Can you write back or send me your email. I will give you mine. at work it is mlarocque@eigercreative.com
Also you guys can go eat as soup kitchens. And food pantries. There must be some around where you live. CT has an Social Services Emergency # called 211, I did call them and asked if Maryland has such a number. she gave me the following numbers. These numbers will connect you with operators who can tell you what servicers are available to you and your sister and how to access them. Try calling and finding out what they can do for you. I don't think that you will HAVE to tell them who you are unless you want to. 1-800-492-0618 410-685-0525
Here I just went to the Catholic Charities Web site, and I copied and pasted this info for you
Adoption Awareness Campaign
To help Catholic Charities agencies educate the public, especially young women, about the quality pregnancy, parenting, and adoption services offered by Catholic Charities agencies, Catholic Charities USA has developed a comprehensive campaign, which includes ad materials and brochures. The campaign also emphasizes Catholic Charities' expertise and solid reputation in adoption services.
So they do still do adoptions and they do the nationwide. There is a Catholic Charities in Baltimore atn 320 Cathederal Street, Baltimore, MD,21201, phone 410-261-5800 and if you go to this web page http://www.catholiccharitiesinfo.org/states/MD.htm
you can acces their email address. I can access email with this laptop. So try emailing them, you can do that anonymously and find out if they will help you and your sister.
Dear JOhn she is only six, now..think if it, she is going to be growing, she is going to need new shoes, new clothes. All kinds of things. She also needs the guidance of a woman to make sure that she doesn't end up in trouble. She could become very hard to you to handle when she becomes a teenager. I think you know what I mean. I know that there are people who will help you. If you make contact with someone at Catholic Charities, and want to learn more or be more sure ask if your guidance couselor can talk with them so that he can ask any additional questions, or some that you may have forgotten. Most important is that you can still have contact with your sister. THey may even find a place for both of you so you can stay together. Don't forget, YOU DON"T HAVE TO BE CATHOLIC.
Please call them. I don't want the two of you to get lost in this system.
Please let me know how you make out
Michele
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does anyone know any really good, healthy diets? Or any good ideas for a health breakfast, lunch, or dinner... it'd help a lot. thank you appreiciate it (link)
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I know a good diet plan, it was in a book written long ago. I followed it and lost 45 lbs. It is called the Fat TO Muscle Diet. I forgot who it is by. It is in paperback now, and should be very cheap. You may be able to find a copy on this site. www.half.com
It worked great and was very easy to follow.
Michele
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ive known this guy for 4 years and about 3 weeks ago he said that he likes me and it was weird for him beacuse it was in a sexuall way. i dont really know what that means but is there anyways that you can help me understand? i really like him too its just that he seems to want to go further than im really wanting to and we have talked about it and he isnt gonna push me into anything. but i was just wondering, does he really like me or just want some bootie? ya know. he always tells me how beautiful and gorgeous i am and that he thinks im so hott and all i just dont know if her really does like me. can you help? another thing, he got very mad at me becuase he said i broke a promise to him b.c i told my friend about us and we werent even going out. he kept telling me that thats how i make him not want to be around me anymore.. what should i say besides im sorry?? (link)
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He is just making you crazy honey so he can control you. Why shouldn't you be able to tell your friends that you are going out. Why do you have to hide it. What is he married or something? No,I know he is not. But he is sneaky and that sets off alarms for me. HE IS ONLY INTERESTED IN BOOTY! I guarantee it. What did he do to the other girls he went out with? Dump them after he gotwhat he wanted? Do they have broken hearts. Honey I don't think it is physically or emotionally possible for young men to be looking for anything but booty at their age. I get tooooo many questions from girls who have had their hearts broken. And not enough telling me that they are meeting nice guys.
If I were you I would listen to your intuition that is trying to tell you something. You already know the answer. But you don't want that answer. You want someone here to tell you that it is Ok, go ahead. Well if your heart can stand the break then go ahead. But if you avoid him, or at least stand your ground and don't go all the way.....he will eventually show his real colors. I'll bet that you are beautiful and gorgeous...so keep yourself that way. If he uses you then dumps you, you are going to feel ugly. And very foolish when he won't even talk to you any more, and is working on the next girl. I wish you luck.
Michele
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i need help because im not one of those people who fall in love easily but im afraid im starting to but the problems are is one im afraid to get hurt and 2 well i always have to fall for the ones i cant have and that hurts even more so any advice please (link)
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Being in love sucks at your age. I remember. Kids are so fickle. BOys and girls change their minds all the time. There is NO WAY to get involved with some one at your age, and not end up with a broken heart. But if you wait until you are older. Boys mature, and girls mature, and both see the benefits of long term relationships. Young kids just want to say they belong to someone, and that he/she is cute. It is much different when you are 18 or older. Thats no guarantee that you won't get hurt, but that seems to be the time that young men and women really take the time to get to know each other, to see if there is a possibility for a long long long term relationship. There is not much chance of that now. These boys don't even know who to get a job, never mind take care of someone, or suppor them, so they are only thinking of one thing. It is NORMAL for their age. But it will change. But you'll save yourself a lot of heart ache if you wait.
Michele
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ok i go to the doctor soon to get my physical and im really nervous because im going to be on my period! well i think so because i just started a heavy discharge today (i think it was today) and it usually lasts abuot 10 days then i get my period the day after and im going to be on it at the doctor and when she asks when my last period was can i just say 3 weeks ago?? because the time that im going to be there my one before the one im on would be 3 weeks ago..also what other questions do they ask you about your period if your a 14 year old girl who started at the end of july 2004? please help im nervous! (link)
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YOu can tell the doctor that I think I am going to get my period any day now. She may also ask you if your periods are regular? How long do they last? Do you have any cramping? Here is a clue. If she takes you in the room alone without your parent, then she will also ask you if you are sexually active. But if she is not a gynecologist, she cannot give you an internal exam. If you are sexually active and tell her, (no she can't tell your parents) but she will suggest that you see one. And if and when you DO BECOME SEXUALLY ACTIVE....you should make an appointment with a gynocologist.
Michele
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I was wondering, is it bad to eat cough drops even when you don't have a cough? In what ways?
Because I have a cough now, but when it's done and I don't actually need to use the cough drops, I still like to eat them. So my main question is, Could this hurt me and if so how? (link)
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No cough drops are just sugar and coloring. The halls also have some menthol in them. It's just very expensive candy. The melting syrup and sugar is what calms your throat. They don't really work if you had a bad cold in your chest.
Michele
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