ask Michele

Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84134

Main Categories:
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Thank you! Sorry I didn't rate you sooner but I just came back to this site so I am trying to catch up everybody I owe! :)

Thank you! I am sorry it was so long, but your answer saved my marriage!

ah!!! awesome..that would have been a huge punch to his self esteem! haha...i talked to him and he blamed it all on being drunk..what a fag...but my boyfriend ended up talking to him without me knowing..and he is really scared of him so he has stopped...its been about a month now....but thank you so much again for your advice! :D...if he tries to keep talking again i will use that awesome joke about his lol hahah

thanks..but i still don't know what to say to her? she gets so mad, and then won't talk to me for days.

Thank you for the advice, I did just what you said and everything got better. My wife went in a completely different direction now.

Well my pill should be strong enough - I was told by my doctor that if i start taking it - after a week I can have sex - so i would say its pretty strong right? I just need to know w ha the chances are?

you didnt post a website

thanks :)

thanks michelle. happy new year to you too! you really did help me out a lot! :)

i'm assuming you didnt even read my question.

thank you do much, your such a good person=]. i am in therapy but not for the family reason-i got kicked out of school for selling drugs and stuff. and i blame it all on my mom for making me this kind of person. now, that i am home, my mother pulled my father aside and told him that if i "act up" one more time, shes going to send me to a foster home. hearing that almost made me pissed off. :( thank you so much though<3

he used a condom though and it didnt break or anything

did u get this from a website? its very good! please write back..

thanks for your effort but it wasnt really the answer i was looking for, ive watched the scientific videos and youtube stuff hhaha none of it really clicks in my head. thanks for your effort though i appreciate it!

thank you michele. and my boyfriend & i have already done a few positions but things aren't so much different. but itll work out. thanks! (:

You are very welcome! Good people are not noticed often enough. Sorry if my phrases aren't perfect, i'm a frenchie! And people don't notice how shiny and beautifull the stars are also because they don't look at them...they prefer looking down at the spit and old chewing gum on the sidewalk!

Thanks, i'll try!

Thank you so much Michele for the understanding and the advice. I'm glad you didn't have kids with your own jerk!Good for you! I'll be strong, and i'll be rereading your message everytime i need a dose of strenght!

i ended up finding out it's legit, but thanks for your time answering it!!

Thank you, Michele, for your feedback. I think that my husband and I will pass on this adoption. There are just too many risks involved to our new family and our current, Cat, Virgil. Needless to say, with a newborn and 2 people working full time, it will be tough to get to the Vet to take care of a potential Herpes outbreak.

thanks[:

Thanks!

Thank you very much!

Michele - Thank you so much. You really understood everything I was trying to say and more. It means a lot to me that you took the time to respond with such care and detail. I have a lot to think about - Thanks, Michelle

thanks for you advice. i really love him and he promised hed look for a job he begged for one more chance. i think if he doesnt try and look ima ask him to move out. maybe if he sees he will lose me he will grow up.

Thank you!

Thank you now that i am used to whole wheat bread i can't even stand the way white bread feels in my mouth! :)

ok thx for the help and the hope you continue to have a great relationship part thx ur awesome umm my email address is kelseygarrish@yahoo.com add me as a friend willl u please

thanks a bunch. wat i was gna buy was 42. lol

Thank you so much. My mom does have a lawyer on hand for her every need. She loves calling the cops so much at times they don't respond to her calls.

Great, thank you. Yeah I just need something to add to my workouts.

WOW TOTALLY... this is probably the first comment I am going to save into my Microsoft Word hahaha Thank you very much!

I am going to give you a 5 becasue you did a grea job based off of what you know...but the truth is that you are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY off! hahaha you have no IDEA what i do to put his comfort above mine. I was raised really well! :) So he has gotten full body massages (which i have yet to recieve from him) 2 fresh cooked meals a day. I pay to take him out and make romantic baths (which i have yet to recieve) I clean and do many things around the house, when I was working I was paying 1/2 the rent and taking care of groceries and by the way I moved to Idaho because he wanted to try idaho and a small town where he knew there would be little to no work for me (even though i told him i did not like the idea of that) so for him to pay the bills is much expected! Because he did not move to driggs idaho for me, i moved there as a support mostly for him...so when there was no work for me and there was work for him, he wasn't even thinking about leaving for me to be able to help him financially, he wasn't thinking about that until He Got Laid off! Then he thought about US needing a place with more opportunity. I wash all the clothes and practically whipe his nose if he needs me to...so I definately do not need to turn the light off right away to show him i appreciate him. :) And I say that with the utmost respect to you, understanding that you do not know the whole story :) And I read that part about the elderly people and believe me i have met many in my life, and I do everything they say...including the don't always need to be right and communicate, i have held my tongue many a day, and put aside my pride many a day as well. So thank you...and I would love to hear any follow up ideas bassed on your new knowledge. Thank you for your patience in reading :)

thanks! shock is a good one.

thank you!those are some really sweet and incouraging words youve said..im going to go for it!

I tried to Google it, and couldn't find an actual site to buy it! But I'll keep looking. Thanks for the help =)

thank you for your advice

thank you so much!

thank you :) i'll check it out.

I don't think that to distract myself from snacking I need to invest in something...

you said people can be carriers of the STD and not show sypmtoms, yet be able to pass it on. Does that mean that they can have it without having had sex before or even oral sex?

Thank you for the advice, I am not enrolled in the course and right now I love it. i know that it won't be peaches and cream all the time and somethings will be harder than others but I do believe I can deal with it. Thank you again.

I took a pregnancy test this morning and I'M PREGNANT! Thank you for the advice but turns out I didn't need to ask that question anyway. :D

Thanks- but i know for a fact some of that was wrong.

best advice ever

Thanks

Thank you very much!

Thank you, I definitely found some great ideas from that website!

how is 16 gonna change anything? i thought i have to be 18 for this relationship to not be illegal anymore. i know at the age of 16 i can go to court and emancipate myself or whatever.

haha yea.. all their stuff looks alike too.

thank you VERY MUCH!

thank you so much!!!!!

thanks, appreciate it tons!

Thank you.

thank you sooo much!!

thanks so much. i didnt get to see your advice till this morning and that is after i left. i picked him up at work late last night because hes a bartender. and whenw e were going to bed he asked " so what do you want to do" and i couldnt even say anything. it was the hardest goodbye this morning and i couldnt even stick around. im just going to wait till he calls to tell him how i feel. thanks so much</3

do all post offices sell .02 cent stamps?

aha your smart. thank you so much! aha my questions are answered now (; i appreciate it!!

thank you. i can tell you hated being 14 too. It's the 17 year old guys that I know. I don't understand them. Maybe I'm too young. As much as I hate it.

Thanks! =]

Thanks! You remind me of a close friend, who passed in April in a car crash. It's really good to hear words that sound like hers. So, thanks again!

thnx for the advice i'll be sure to remember =]. but how does this all happen? i mean, ive never had one before and im not having sex or anything of the matter...

Thanks. I guess I really needed someone to tell me that I should stick to the promise I made. Most of my friends and family have said that I should back out immediatly. Hopefully I will learn my lesson this time.

i dont know thats why its strange its not dark circles and its only slightly puffy its just like an indent under my eye

Thanks! I'll try one of those sometimes and the remedy sounds great. Thanks so much.

Thank you. =)

TRUE. She was having pr0blems with her boyfriend! Yes, she still picks up guys anyway (bad, huh?). Her parents are iffy, to0! Thanks th0ugh very helpful! I will do exactly that!

wow thank you, you seriously helped me alot thanks :]

THank you so much

thanks a lot

its not an infection i had one the first time i had sex its not like that my stomach and a little lower is just hurting alot and sore and going to the bath room hurts 2 ist like i cant today is the 4th day all of this has been going on thanks though

Thank you :) My diet has changed a little bit, I'm starting to eat healthier. There aren't any changes in my room though and I'm not on any medication. I'll try some of the herbal products you suggested and if they don't work then I'm going to go to the doctor.

Thank you for your help. It was actually two of her sisters who were abused, by a very close family friend and the whole family has been massively affected because they let this man into their lives and shared so much with him and his family. My friend isn't the youngest sibling and she wasn't abused, so she has been forgotten a bit and bore the brunt of everything, which is why things have been tough for her. All this happened pretty much exactly a year ago and since then the man has been sent to prison. You're very right about her not getting enough help, her family haven't really thought about her at all during this whole thing. I think your idea about backing off for a bit and letting her come to me is a good one, thanks for you help.

thank you

hey thanks for this advice its the best advice i have ever gotten. i wish i could give you more than a 5. :]. but the only thing is i wouldnt commit suicide when im sixteen b/c i have so muchh other things going for me. but thanks for the awesome advice it will help alot.

Thank you so muchh but its 11:30 pm now and she still hasnt talked tome so yeh:(

UM WOW! YOUR INCREDIBLE!

thanks, but im like blonde and i dont really understand anything you said. and it didnt really answer my question.

thank you very much!

Thanks for the tip!

thnx a bunch.. :)

i would have no clue what to do with my girls... i have a niece and sometimes i just look at her an wonder if it will be as hard for her as it is on me ... especially that my sister chose to raise her as my parents.. part of me wants to have girls and raise them to be the best they could be... and the other part doesn't want any coz i may betray my family if i raised them other wise... happier... i hate to say it but there is a lot of superficiality going around back home amongst girls my age... and though the society preaches something certain and has a general veil over things, some girls do other wise.... dating, sex, what have you while their parents, and their friends, know....... i am ok with it but if there is one thing i hate it is hypocrisy..... they allow and do it yet say its wrong... (i hate to generalize but when i went back for a whole year once, that is how i felt the general opinion was like they believed it was wrong and not took it as a gov. rule like the abaya... yet they kept at it and talked about other people.... their like vultures to be honest.....and worst of all is that they were really open to so many western things, they traveled read books from the outside and even went to summer camps! its like they secretly want to be like the west but didn't want to admit it) i can't do that! i can't say its bad and still do it. already i feel bad about my freshman year because of what would happen to mum and dad yet i am not sure i regret everything... unlike them i don't say its wrong in that sense. (the things i believe i shouldn't do i didn't and the things other wise i did) for one thing they made me wiser... plus, granted you bend a bit to circumstances but you don't say your something your not, right? thats only lying to urself! :s my cousin israa said she decided to wear the veil last summer and then she told me she had been intimate with her classmate's brother once, and yet after that in fall when i left, she told her parents i was very casual and even slutty with the boys in my "mixed" school (coz i showed her the profiles of my friends on facebook -mind you no pics of me) and dressed inappropriately... they were with me since kindergarten! my brothers! ahh... that is the hight of my problems..... i don't do the things i would consider normal (like swimming in a public beach with my parents' consent in canada ) in the presence of anyone from home.....fine... but know i can't do them period.... my mum and dad used to be fine with that... overlooked how influential friends and family could be.... you're right... my aunts are constantly telling my dad that we are too liberal and so forth.... thing is.... HE BROUGHT US HERE! he agreed to expose us to the western world, he should have known this would happen (what ever "this" is) .... if it were up to me i would rather go live in saudi and not have them go crazy like that on me. but thats not an option -they don't want to prove we didn't succeed and they want me to have an education- but at least there i could have some peace of mind and i could live based on my principles and values without them having to worry that its outer influences... i mean every day goes by and i am so guilty of the stuff i did in freshman simply because i know at any given time they could find out and i would be such a shame to the family and it would kill me seeing them in an unimaginable situation.... i try to hide those things and hopefully they will never find out...i am thankful they took the risk and brought us here... but in the same time... its too hard for me too cope with two cultures... then there is religion... i consider myself muslim... but not very religious.. i try to pray but i hardly ever do (and thats something i am not proud of because it takes mins of your day only)... my mum and dad know that and they encourage me to do so but i am just in a phase where i am constantly questioning everything... i really want to know different people different places interpretations of things... but being caught in this two sided position...i am not sure i could fill more than half the cup... which is what is expected of me at most...... it makes me question everything... everything they had worked for, everything they had done to get us here... what's it all for if i won't be able to build myself from scratch? do i have to jump into my husbands sleeping bag and share what he had already gathered from life? its an identity crises.... is being arab associated with blood and background, or is it culture and tradition.... and am i really canadian or is it just a document i carry for protection? i am worried i will never find the saudi who will be able to fill MY expectations on life... who shares my view on life.... i don't want to be involved in a marriage of the bodies only, because by god i don't have anything i think is worth offering without my mind............... i am sorry i am taking too much of your time. i am just confused. and i guess i am demanding so much of a life i am not supposed to have.... living in canada, as much as i hate to say , turned out to be a burden for me............. thank you for your kindness and understanding again i am so sorry for making this so long...

thank you! if it's ok with you have posted a question in your inbox.... i am sorry it's a bit long... but my head is burning for answers!

thanks so much!

[Rating changed by MSH]

thanks

This is me again and I have to say I left out something important in my story about my ex-boyfriend, well when I was finally able to get a hold of him after my calling and calling, he told me to let him have it and to say what was on my mind, anyway after I did, he then said this out of the clear blue that he had met someone who he can play golf with and that she is rich and that she only wants him to be with her and no one else, so I then told him that that was it and I could not believe how a man who had spent so much time and money on me could turn on me like that for a stranger unless he was seeing her previously, which he might have been as there were unexplained voids in our meetings. It may be that he was playing with my feelings and only said that to make me jealous, but I will never know as I hung up on him and he has since put a block on his number so I cannot call him, I shredded ALL of his numbers so I won't be tempted to call him since then, but I gave in and wrote him quite a few emails that went unanswered. That tells me right there that he does not want me anymore. Michele, I want to thank you so much for your keen wisdom on this subject, I needed someone to help me understand this sort of man and you have made it clear to me that I should avoid all contact with him, as he is more then likely not even thinking of me or does not even care or he would not have avoided me for so long now, it has been since the end of June 07 that I last had contact with him. so with that said once again thank you for your advice. I am wishing you all the best. ************************M********************

Thanks!

Thanks for the advice. It helps and i will use it when i go back to school in Sept. Thanks again. =]

Michele, Thank you so much for your advice. By the way my name is Ryan. My wife and i have talked about this before and she understands and realizes the risks she is putting not only the girls but everyone in our family at. She has completely agreed to back me up in all rules i would like to enforce. But my main problem is that i don't know if it is too soon for me as the step father to take action. My wife has talked to the girls but she is one of those people that doesn't have a mean bone in her body and so there was nothing negative brought up. My boys understand that they were brought up differently and it is taking time for all of us to get used to each other but they go to some parties and see the girls doing these things and not getting repremanded from their mother. I think it my responsibility to tkae the disipline on now since they have never really had a father figure in their lives. I just am not really sure how to deal with teenage girls. I came from a family with 3 older brohters and no sisters and now i have raised my three sons so i have no experience whatsoever of how much girls can take. I am at a loss on how strict to be. Can they take me yelling at them? SHould i ground them? How should i deal with the teenage girl attitude?

thank you for your help =)

thank you soo much! i love your advice :]

Thank you sooo much. You made me realise that i cannot make them like me, and it's their own choice whether they want to talk to me or not. I will let some time pass over before i make any contact with them. And yes i am starting high school next month! And i know i will meet lots of new people so i will keep that in mind. Once again, thank you so much! &hearts;

thank you.... it is reassuring sometimes to know that someone can empathize with me.... the things you've said about your life now, past all those negative times, is comforting. often nights i think about how i might turn out as an adult: limited/plain. but considering you got out, i hope one day i could leave this miserable place and step into me... its a matter of time... i hope. thank you from the bottom of my soul. it is a very reassuring feeling to know that someone empathizes. --docilebohemia

thank you :)

thankx =]

thankx =]

thankx =]

thanks the biggest help :]

I woudldn't give u bad advice. This is what ive been hearing.. and yeahh easier said than done and thank you. :-)

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