Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
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adviceman49
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I have had my belly button pierced for almost 4 years now, and just today I have noticed it itches and it slightly painful when I sit down. I wasn't sure if it was because of my high waisted jeans I was wearingbor what. I don't think it's rejecting since I have had it for four years! Please help (link)
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Could it be the barbel in there?? sometimes they wear, and the finish they were coating in starts to come off, and then your skin gets irritated.
You CAN sometimes develop allergies to things years down the line so its hard to really say....maybe you could swap out the barbel for a newer one thats made of gold or silver? something you know is made out of a material thats real? or take it out for a little bit and let the skin calm down? maybe theres an infection in there...have you tried peroxide? Im not an expert here at all but if you have to just take it out for a while to let your skin calm down (even if it closes up) it might be worth it.....
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Is finger fucking breaking your Virginity
(link)
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no, traditionally losing your virginity mean a penis entering you.....
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I need a man should I go to a gay bar to find him yes or no? (link)
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im sorry wait....you "need" to find a man?? why do you use the word need? Are you not ok enough with yourself that you need to be in a relationship so that you can focus on someone else all the time instead of yourself?
Understand this ok. If your ok with yourself, then your ok with being alone for a while without feeling like you NEED to rush into a relationship with someone. If your feeling this way then you should probably focus on working on yourself so that when you DO find a man, youll be putting the BEST version of yourself out there for them to see. By this i mean NOT bringing along the baggage and hurt from the last relationship and putting THOSE feelings or insecurities on them because thats not fair to someone whos a complete stranger. see what im getting at?
You want to present a HEALTHY, happy version of you. and you want THEM to do the same in return.....
; )
good luck
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17 _female
hi I am in my last year at highschool and I have only had 3 boyfriends.... my last bf who i currently talk to is 8 yrs old than me and we have been together off and on since I was 14....we are both virgins still because I dont want do that as yet ....but sometimes things get umm sexual and he gets angry sometimes and may sleep then he is normal when he awakes or he masturbates....with both methods I feel bad ....honestly I think maybe I should leave him but I dont know how to,,, because eventually I have to face this again since I dont want to be single forever.
what do u guya think...if I should leave how can I?....ps we have talk already and he says I am too childish.....but it ia my religion that I respect (link)
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Yeah i have to agree with Razhie here. This guy sounds like a loser.
Partners are supposed to respect each other even if sometimes they may not agree. He could have taken so many other paths in telling you he didnt agree with your religion or whatever. Its OKAY to tell your partner "well thats ok, that YOU, i personally dont agree or believe in that but if thats what you do then thats ok"
Theres certain ways in which you let someone respectfully know that you dont agree without being mean, cruel, or insulting.
If he thinks your too childish then you need to say "ok BYEEEE" and seriously walk away. I know its easy to think that youll never find someone again but just trust the slightly older people here that you are barely in the prime of your life right now. People are going to come and go and some will stay and some will not and thats OKAY.
We're all on our own life paths and yours and his simply are not in the right place to be able to make things work obviously. Sometimes with ages being different, if both really want to make it work, then they will do everything in their power to do so and that includes, knowing what NOT to say and he obviously isnt there yet.
There will be other guys ok. there will be jobs youll get or things youll go to and there will be guys there just HOPING your single so THEY can hit you up for dates. ; )
good luck
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So I have been dating this guy for almost a year. He was kind and affectionate and we met each others parents and everything. All of a sudden he says its "inappropriate" to hold my hand in public or hug me in public. He refuses to let me meet his friends, and when we walk together he likes to walk like 10 billion feet a head of me. Lately I feel like I have been doing everything wrong cause all he does is complain about all the things I do wrong, but yet he said I am his soulmate and loves me to death. He doesn't want me talking to certain people and attend events with him. I feel like he is shamed to be seen with me. We are both in our 20s so this is all just too strange to me. When he said he didn't want to hold my hand in public, felt like I got stabbed. (link)
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no sweetie this is called controlling you slowly over time.
the reason why he doesnt want you to talk to certain people is because hes trying to isolate you from anyone who might treat you better, or tell you that theyve noticed your unhappiness and if all you have is HIM to talk to then he can really do no wrong.
Isolation breaks a person down slowly over time. The other tactic they use is the CLASSIC telling you that your doing all kinds of shit wrong and complaining non-stop about you and treating you like your a no body all the time.
Then they tell you they love you to play on your emotions and keep you intangled with them....This ISNT love ok trust me, ive seen this happen in a ton of different ways with my girlfriends over the years. ITs CLASSIC manipulative bullshit. get out now while you still can.
just because he isnt hitting you doesnt mean hes not harming you. If you dont want to be there you dont have to be, it takes two willing people to stay in a relationship and if hes that unhappy then he shouldnt have to be there right?? well the next time he says some shit like that, tell him hes welcome to leave if he wants. He probably WILL then he'll be right back at your door or calling saying their sorry and they miss you and they'll never do it again and then the cycle just repeats.....NO ONE treats someone they really love like that. He simply wants control over you and everything you do and thats never ok....
I just helped a friend of mine get out of a relationship like this after not having been in contact with her for years because HE felt threatened by me and im a female! He knew that i was smart and could see through his bullshit. Unfortunately she stayed with him for so long that she ended up having two kids with him and now look.....shes attached to him for life because he still has a right so see his kids. She'll never be able to look back and say "what was i thinking, that guy was a complete asshole, and im just glad i was able to get away from him" He'll never just be that bad relationship you were in "ages and ages ago". these types of people PREY on your emotions and take FULL advantage of the fact that they KNOW you care for the deeply, and by sticking with him, despite how hes treating you, your proving to him just how far your willing to allow the abuse to go.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months since yesterday. He's a senior, me a sophomore. Lately, we've been fighting and arguing a lot. Last night, we were fine texting each other , but today at school was our Disney homecoming day (I dressed up, he didn't) and this morning he told me was embarrassed of me. I tried walking with him, but he was giving me attitude and I yelled at him. Now he's telling me he ripped up the note I wrote him for our 5 months and that he gave away the candy he was going to give me today at school . He sometimes brings up things I did and the past and tries binging them up (screenshots) and I try my best not to talk about them because they're in the past and I'm so frustrated and I just don't know hat to do! I hate when we fight or he gets up at me . What can I do? I love this boy very much and I don't want to consider breaking up with him. (link)
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actually it sounds like hes broken up with YOU hunny.
If a guy rips up a love letter or something that was supposed to hold alot of meaning for you too, then gives away something he was supposed to give you, and acts like an asshole then why would you continue to put yourself through that? Hes obviously done with you, or else even at his angriest moment a person should never do and say the things hes doing. You deserve better ok, and he sounds like a immature brat.
Teen/high school relationships RARELY last very long because your all still discovering what you want in a long term partner. Some of these kids barely know THEMSELVES let alone what they want in a relationship. ITs all a sort of experimental, take things as they come so that you can learn from your mistakes time for you.
He also shouldnt be bringing up things from the past and trying to throw them up in your face either. Thats cold hearted and mean. He sounds like hes intentionally trying to be harsher on you then what is needed for whatever emotions need be applied here and thats not right.
He is ruled by his emotions. People who are ruled solely by their emotions tend to be unstable, and unreliable people at times because every little thing that other people do they feel "effects them" some how even if it didnt have anything to do with them.
I say give him some space, dont speak to him, let him cool off and then see if he comes to you. And by giving him some space and not talking for a while i dont just mean a couple days, i mean like a week or two. He needs to figure himself out and re-evaluate his relationship with you, and if hes a decent guy he will come back to you and say hes sorry and WANT to work things out. If not leave him alone, and dont try to come up with reasons to contact him either, thats a front and everyone knows it, and your then trying to force interaction with someone who may not want to talk to you right now. He needs to know what he'll be missing if your not around anymore.....
good luck
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Actually the thing is .. I want a help
I was cuddling with my boyfriend and i was just on top of him, just touched his penis with my vagina
and then we tried to have sex with protection but we couldn't have it because it was not entering
i had my periods next day. Can I be pregnant? Please help. (link)
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Are you saying that in his attempt to enter you that he took the condom off? because if he did then yes theres reason for concern here. If not and he kept it on then no, i dont think you could be if you started your period the very next day.
Also he probably had trouble entering you because you may not have used lube or used enough of it. Especially if its your first time, your going to be VERY tight down there and its GOING to be hard on HIM and you could even hurt him if you dont have sufficient lube to ease things along.
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I am from India I can't know about the life and I am also not happy with my life so I want die ...plz help me .. (link)
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we dont help people die. We help people figure out how to adjust to tough situations and aid in support and alternatives you could try instead......
please tell us your situation....maybe theres another persons view point here that might be able to give you some insight on things, things you might not have thought of before from a different perspective.
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Does anyone have good recommendations for healthy snacks? I often stay up late doing homework and get pretty hungry, and I'm getting tired of eating an apple or some crackers every night.
Just some notes: a) I don't like nuts or peanut butter. b) I would prefer if the suggestions were stuff we would likely have in the house so my mom doesn't have to go out and buy me snack food c) fruit is great, but it's expensive and not super filling, so I need some other ideas
Thanks! (link)
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why dont you go to the grocery store with your mom and pick out some stuff to make ahead of time if you know your into midnight snacking??
Pick out some boneless chicken and some chicken broth, and a few veggies and get your moms crock pot out, and MAKE a nice stew or soup??
Crock pots are fun because theres really no limit. Really no exact measurements or ingredients, and YOU decide based on flavor what you want! just toss all the stuff in there that you would want in a soup or a stew, click it to high in the morning and then by nightfall you have a grew HEALTHY soup to eat!
Crock pots can be so much fun, you should look into getting one if your mom doesnt have one, and checking out some recipes that other more experienced people who have played around with theirs a little more have made and try them! a crock pot is basically like an easy bake oven for adults. its not dangerous, and its a slow cooker.....
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This is not a personal question, just a general enquiry because I am curious.
So it is against the law for a guy over 18 to sleep with a girl under 18. True?
So what if a guy is like 5 months older than a girl. They are both 17 now, and they have slept together a number of times. Totally legal? and then the instant he turns 18, it's illegal? and they have to wait 5 months for her to turn 18 before they can do it again? How does that make any kind of sense? Or am I misinterpreting something? (link)
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well i think if its well known that youve been together for a WHILE, and your only 5 months apart then unless someone else objects then its really not an issue.
Even if someone calls the police, once theyve spoken with the two of you and others around you, and know that you just happen to turn 18 in a matter of months before her then i dont see a problem.
maybe it depends on where you live though....Usually even if a cop comes to talk to you and you both SAY "well we were together before this, were only a few short months apart" no one WANTS to make a huge deal out of something thats really unneeded.
My now husband is 7 years older than me and it was reported and they spoke with both us AND my family and everyone knew and no one objected.....*shrugs*
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Well he havent responded back yet i dont know wheather or not he got the msg so like its been 4 days that we havent spoken..i think il just leave him alone, and leave my thngs he can do whateva he wants to..im done it really sucks being ignored like this we use to speak everyday but now its once a month that we speak bt i gues its okay..he was neva mine yet my heart is broken (link)
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Understandable and absolutely normal to feel what your feeling right now, but a typical one for relationships that dont work out. This stuff comes with the territory when dating and in relationships at all, so just take your time, try to work on YOU, better yourself FOR YOU, and time may never totally take away the pain and thats OK too and there may be a scar on your heart forever (also normal) but dont poke at the scar or scratch at it by keeping in contact with someone who clearly tossed you to the side like a piece of trash, then ignored you. You deserve better. ; )
good luck sweetie, youll be fine. We're ALL a constant work in progress so dont let this set you back, or fall off a healthy path. your FREE! go have fun with your friends, get into new hobbies and projects, and maybe travel with people you care for.
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HI there i guess you probably right well i texted him today and askd hm to let me know when he have time..reason why i asked is cause i want to collect my belongings that is still there and then after that i probably wont see or talk to him nymore cause that is what he wants..i feel like im doing the right thing coz he is mayb moving on idk so i dnt wnt reminders of me there in his work place (link)
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Thats ok if your there JUST to collect your things. Keep it civil, do not get emotional, your allowed to be friendly but do NOT attempt to make any plans or talk about "seeing them later" or play into any of his games if he attempts to get YOU to set something up for when you "might be free" youve broken up and not thats really not appropriate talk. That kind of talk insinuates that he'd like to see you again and stay connected which (if you did) you could easily turn into a booty call or "side piece" when hes bored, and thats not the kind of relationship you need. (((i mean unless thats what you want here lol)))
good luck ; )
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I'm 20/ f
I have trouble getting in touch with friends who used to be in my life. I go to Uni and live there and everyone seems to have a group at home too.
With me I kind of feel people have moved on and I haven't in the past made an effort to keep up with them. I've lost so many pals from them moving away or me moving away..
But I also feel that it shouldn't be me all the time who makes the effort.
What should I do? I am worried after uni my friends won't keep in contact. Also sometimes they organise things last.minute so I struggle to go to things. Does it make me look like I'm not bothered?
How can I make more friends? I know uni do societies but you go and everyone already comes in pairs and I feel awkward turning up on my own.
I feel that sometimes other people are jealous over me... (link)
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Well when it comes to friends youve had since you were younger, you have to realize that people change over time, people can grow apart while their busy leading their own lives and if you wernt there with them AS its happening then yes, you could be forgotten.
Alot of people tend to mingle with people who are also in the same phase of life as them because its just be more comfortable and they feel like their with other people who understand.
It DOES take to people in a friendship to keep the connection, BUT theres some flaws to that. If one of you has moved, lives far away, cant get together often anymore, and they have plenty of other people that they CAN hang out with, then people can some conscientiously sort of disconnect from you because they have to move on with their lives and not just sit there and be lonely and WISH you could be there, and in doing that they just become MORE involved with the people they DO have that are closer by. It has nothing to do with them not caring for you anymore or not wanting to still be friends.
People DONT WANT to feel lonely, so they will naturally seek out other people to hang out with and because they assume your busy with school and all they may also assume that YOUR busy with your college friends and your probably doing the same thing and blahhh blah blahh ya know??
If they are just getting together with friends and its on short notice then they may think theres no need to invite you if its not for something really important
try not to take that too personally, try to continue to stay connected so when or if you DO come back, it wont feel like youve missed alot.
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my husband said that it will happen when it happeneds what does that mean in the long run? (link)
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well, thats hard to answer. Maybe hes not in a rush? maybe hes feeling deep down like things are not right for a baby right now? money? insurance? life style?
Do you already have ONE and your asking for another? maybe hes feeling like one is enough for now??
Your question is very vague given the question so i would need more details here before i could give any real helpful kind of advice that you could apply.
These are all things you need to talk to him about, because if your not on the same page over something this important then it could cause huge problems down the road.
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Well u hav read my previous posts and stuff and uhm the latest update is that he textd me on tuesday saying hi stranger and askn how i am and thngs we then spoke for a few days bt then he just stoppd replying on wednesday night so i havent heard from hm since then bt then yesterday which was friday he textd me askn whats my plans for the evening bt i got the msg to late so i got home and replied to him bt then ddnt knw if my msgs went thru so i phoned him and axd so he said no he ddnt bt so the phne went off coz of the airtym so i textd him and tld hm my airtym was up and the signal is bad seeing that he ddnt gt my text and then askd if he is enjoying hs weekend so far coz he told me he was off and stuf from work..i thnk he wantd to see me idk..so today i saw that he read my msgs but he ddnt reply..i thought i was gna see him but now i just miss hm even more..mayb because i replied late so he made otha plans already..what do you think..mayb he ddnt wnt to see me anymore or dont want to see me..,do you think i will hear from him again and that he will respond again..mayb i am overthinking again hey?? Please help..i dnt wana text hm again so il wait tl he text 1st if he will (link)
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It doesnt sound like hes really all that excited to see you, and obviously if you didnt get the message until it was too late then yes someone is going to make other plans. Thats just how life goes.
I dont think you should continue to chase him down though just because he presented you with a chance to meet up and you missed it. If he really wants to meet up, he will ask again.
If youve broken up though, why would you jump at the chance to see him again? After what youve been through do you really think thats fair to yourself? Doing this will just set back the healing process again, and set you up for MORE hurt once hes gotten whatever it is that he wants out of you.
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The one who loves you is the one who cares for you//// (link)
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Im gonna say no on this one. Just because someone has strong feelings for you does not mean that they are thinking of your best interest and whats good for you.
There are many relationships where one person just wants control over the other and USES "love" as a way to get it, playing to the other persons emotions the whole time, and fooling them into thinking that this is what love is.
A family member can also "Love you" but not necessarily know whats best for you, because your YOU and YOU know whats best for you, and if you have half a brain in your head then you can SAY "i know that this is whats best for me and i dont need other people to make those choices for me"
Love is not control over you, possessive, name calling, yelling, or belittling.
Its devotion, loyalty, kindness even when your full of sass, and caring about your well being EVEN if its not with them and means you have to leave them for a little bit in order to get what you need.
Next time please post a question and not random statements.
; )
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22/f, 29/m
I just recently got out of a relationship. He was the one who broke up with me. The thing about this, is that it's confusing about what he wants. He tells me that he loves me and that he cares about me. He keeps talking about the "future" when we don't have a future.
But the one thing that bothers me a lot, is that he has removed any trace of me on his Facebook. All the posts that he tagged me in--removed. He hid the photos that I took of him, too. It shouldn't bother me, but it really does. It hurts.
The one thing I don't understand is that he removed any trace that I ever existed in public, but I'm still his background photo on his phone, etc. But yet, he kept up the photos that his ex-girlfriend (the one before me) posted of him. What is even worse is that I took a lot more photos than she did, and yet he put in the effort to remove everything that even related to me, but not hers.
I know that if I confronted him, he would end up saying one of the two things:
1) "Well, we did break up"--Which doesn't make sense because him and his other ex-girlfriend broke up but still kept photos of her.
2) "I didn't look very good in the photos you took."--There were more than 200 photos that I took, not all of them could've been completely terrible. Plus, the photos of him that his ex took, didn't look that great, either.
So, I'm confused. I'm not sure what the think or what to say or do. I'm trying to "let it go" because it's just social media, but I can't help but keep thinking, "why did he put in so much effort just to do all of that?" My sister came down to 3 conclusions.
1) He's keeping me on the side until he finds someone better.
2) He was embarrassed of me and still is, that's why he removed any sign that I existed
3) This is an extremely harsh way of him wanting me to move on.
But even if it was the 1st or 2nd reason, they're both really harsh ways of telling me that he really wants me to move on if he's willing to keep his ex's photos up.
Is there another reason why he might've removed every trace of me (in public)? Should I just completely let this go even if I kind of want answers? (link)
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ok again, Lets divide and conquer
your quotes, my answers:
"I just recently got out of a relationship. He was the one who broke up with me. The thing about this, is that it's confusing about what he wants. He tells me that he loves me and that he cares about me. He keeps talking about the "future" when we don't have a future."
I would be insulted by this, a man that broken up with you yet speaks of the future is just playing to your emotions as a woman and trying to just tell you want he thinks you want to hear.
"But the one thing that bothers me a lot, is that he has removed any trace of me on his Facebook. All the posts that he tagged me in--removed. He hid the photos that I took of him, too. It shouldn't bother me, but it really does. It hurts."
Well, i think that could bother alot of people but the point is he wants to break up. Theres no way to keep someone who does not want to be with you in that way anymore, and this could just be his way of making it official.
"The one thing I don't understand is that he removed any trace that I ever existed in public, but I'm still his background photo on his phone, etc. But yet, he kept up the photos that his ex-girlfriend (the one before me) posted of him. What is even worse is that I took a lot more photos than she did, and yet he put in the effort to remove everything that even related to me, but not hers."
Yeah sounds like hes just making it official. Weather its for the right reasons or not, hes clearly done.
"I know that if I confronted him, he would end up saying one of the two things:
1) "Well, we did break up"--Which doesn't make sense because him and his other ex-girlfriend broke up but still kept photos of her."
Heres the tricky part ok, He can do whatever he wants with his facebook, and maybe there was something he had with her that holds a special place in his heart still so thats why he keeps her photos up. But im not going to lie, it DOES look like a really passive aggressive move on his part.
"2) "I didn't look very good in the photos you took."--There were more than 200 photos that I took, not all of them could've been completely terrible. Plus, the photos of him that his ex took, didn't look that great, either."
Well see, this wont matter if you read the answer to the last statement see.....
"So, I'm confused. I'm not sure what the think or what to say or do. I'm trying to "let it go" because it's just social media, but I can't help but keep thinking, "why did he put in so much effort just to do all of that?" My sister came down to 3 conclusions.
1) He's keeping me on the side until he finds someone better."
Ok to the first part of this statement, is i think your over analyzing. Dont worry women tend to be more emotional creatures and we can sometimes pur "how does this make me feel" over practical or even sometimes logical thought into things and try to FIND things that arent there.
Secondly, if he IS trying to keep you as a side piece then youll know SOON because he'll still be trying to contact you after youve "broken up" and then in that case you should cut that off immediately and not allow any kind of "sweet talk" he might pull out of his little bag of emotional cards to play on you. but thats a big if and only you know him, we dont, so all we can do here is make guesses and try to help you avoid any pit falls before they happen.
"2) He was embarrassed of me and still is, that's why he removed any sign that I existed"
Well thats speculation because if he was embarrassed of you "this whole time" (which you never said HOW long you were together) then why would he at ANY POINT had ALL these photos of you up there and only just NOW removing them?? lol. You'd think if you were ashamed of someone your dating that youd NEVER allow it to be known that you were even currently dating them. Its a little late for shame ok. lol
"3) This is an extremely harsh way of him wanting me to move on."
Well thats just how hes choosing to handle things. When it comes to relationships, men are usually very simple creatures ok. They usually will not stick around if they really see no good reason to, and are not extremely emotional like women tend to be. So something that may seem to US like its "harsh" to them is "not that big a deal". At least thats what ive come to learn in my years on earth and having had MANY MANY guy friends.
"But even if it was the 1st or 2nd reason, they're both really harsh ways of telling me that he really wants me to move on if he's willing to keep his ex's photos up."
Well maybe he just didnt see a reason to remove ALL the women from his fb photos....if theyve been there longer and all.
"Is there another reason why he might've removed every trace of me (in public)? Should I just completely let this go even if I kind of want answers?"
Heres the thing, i think your looking for something thats not there. If you want to know the answers to these questions, youve got to just ask him, i mean your broken up at this point so what do you really have to lose?
The other thing to remember is that when asking someone for important answers like this or trying to have an important talk, its extremely easy for someone to kind of slip away, not answer, ignore you, or dodge your questions. So what im saying is that if you want any kind of answers (even if he refuses to out right answer them) you need to have this talk in person. Doing everything online or over texting will not bring you the closer your acting like you need right now.
So what you wanna do is get together with him (even if its for some other reason) and its just the two of you, and TALK to him. You can really get down to the bottom of things with people when your there, in person, face to face, and they cant hide how they feel. You can always read body language and facial expression when you hit someone with important questions like this.
Remember to stay calm, if he wants to talk, tell him that your over it and your ok, and you just want to know why he did that. Tell him you wont get mad at him, and then be QUIET and let him talk and just sit and hear him out. Say "yeah"......uhuh....."oh i see" in a CALM, CHILL manner and act like someone who needs guidance it venting to you and trying to tel you how they feel about things right now and that your job is to sit and listen. You can get guys to open up to you if you assure them that you wont get angry with them, and that every things going to be ok and you just want some straight answers, but you wont be very effective if you do it over texting or online where he can hide behind a screen and choose to just NOT deal with you.
This is all part of what comes with the territory when choosing to try to have adult relationships. Its real, ITs raw, and it MEANS risking hurt in order to get the answers you need.
You may end up talking to him and still not feel satisfied with what he DID say, but at least after that you will be able to look back and say that you gave him every chance to be honest with you, and he still couldnt bring himself to do the same. There fore hes not ready to be in a relationship PERIOD and most likely doesnt even know what he wants yet and if thats the case then you need to move on to someone else who wants the same things you want, and not someone whos lost in life and just kinda floating through.
good luck ; )
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I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff. (link)
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There are people in my life (or were at one point in time) that i wish would have this very same realization...) I miss them, i hope their doing well, and i hope that once they HAVE this, that they will hit me up because i will welcome them back with open arms.....
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Hi! I'm a high school girl in need of some advice. For whatever reason, I wear basically the same thing everyday. Every single day, I wear the same black leggings and my jacket, alternating between two or three different t-shirts. The thing is, I physically CANNOT wear anything else. I've tried wearing jeans, and I always end up putting my leggings on first period (I bring them for gym) because it's too stressful for me to wear anything other than my set clothes. Recently, I tore a hole in the leggings, and I was so depressed for that whole week until I went to the exact same store and bought the exact same leggings. If I wear anything else, I have mental breakdowns beacause I feel like I look ridiculous. It's really wearing away at me.
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Im with Dragonfly on this one, but i DO think you need to just try to walk into different stores and just TRY on different things. Even if you dont buy any of them, this will help you to start getting your own tastes down.
The other thing is that clothes ALWAYS look different on the hanger or whatever then they do on you. So you JUST need to try things on. its OK to walk into stores and not buy anything, your free to do that.
Its ok that your typically comfortable in one type of clothes then the other right now too.
your gonna be fine. Try some new things, walk into some new stores you wouldnt normally.....; )
good luck
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Okay well to start I am 13yo and I just wanted to say u have had sex before but nothing happened. Now there is someone I am dating that is wanting to have sex but I am scared, because isn't there supposed to be a cherry or something that pops? isn't it supposed to hurt? I am actually really scared and I don't know what to do. I need answers and help. I just don't want to be judged for my mistake and want answers, PLEASE HELP😢😬😪 (link)
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No there is NO "cherry" in there thats pops. that is slang, or the street word for what is called you hymen.
This is a part of the vagina opening that stretches for the first time once a penis has been in you. But your hymen can also be stretched the same way if your into sports, and active.
For your first sexual experience make sure one of you buys lube and use LOTS of it because you will most likely be so tight inside there that you could actually hurt HIM! ((which is what happened with MY first time)) he will most likely have to make a few attempts to enter you and tell him to go very slowly once he has lube on his penis and a condom on.
I dont agree that your old enough to be having sex but your going to do what your going to do no matter what anyone says, so ill advise you to make sure he puts on a condom and not enter you without one one first.
The first time CAN be unpleasant, but lube can ease any pain there might be. You also should make sure your talking with each other and you let him know if you need him to slow down or to pull out and take a break.
good luck and down do ANYTHING without a condom and some lube.
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