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karenR
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Just a couple of things which everyone should know..1) A love relationship is a TWO way thing, you BOTH have to be on the SAME page.. Communication is vital. FACT.
2) You don't need negative people in your life to bring you down, you get enough of that as it is. You need positive people, to raise you higher.. FACT.
3) Believe in yourself, if you start to, everyone else will. So focus on the good things, because that is what you will naturally flaunt.. Which makes everyone focus on the good things! TRUTH.
4) You only live once, so don't screw it up! Make the most of this ONE life! FACT.
5) Life's all about making mistakes, forgiving, letting go, falling in love, making friends, and best of all, LAUGHING OUT LOUD!! ;) Laughter IS the best medicine.. Trust me! ;) FACT.
Got some love life issues? Need a quick self-esteem boost? Confused in a relationship? .... Just ask Venzuela!
advice
22/m
sexy??
or slutty??
lets vote!!!!
im trying to firgure out if im the only guy who finds them slutty.
It is a personal decision, your oopinion as well as the others that think it is slutty, has no importance really. Everyone has their own ideas and views, hence the word, 'opinion'!
Ask Venzuela
ok so ive had like 2 boyfriends before in my life, and i'm 15, sophomore. My relationships didnt last tht long because one is moving and he had complications and the other one had to go to college. But I'm really desperate for a new boyfriend. And I dont want to be desperate, its so annoying, i cant even be myself around guys anymore, without expecting that something "magical" or amazing will happen. I just want to be myself! Yes I would love a boyfriend! But to tell the truth I dont have a very good self esteem. most people cant tell unless I tell them. But I do. I think that I dont deserve to be skinny (i'm a little overweight and im in the process of losing my goal of 15lbs), i think i dont deserve to be happy, or i dont deersve to be loved or have a girlfriend. I'm not emo lol, but I think I do have some depression issues. I go through depression spells especially when I'm stressed out, or the fact when that I dont think I'm loved. And at my school, like alot of the guys are players and are rude, but alot are nice too. I just think I'll never be good enough for anything or anyone. It's like I'll always have the feeling of being alone forever.
15/f/usa
Firstly, you have to believe in yourself and think that you are awesome and perfect for others to see it, you feeling like nonsense doesn't help anything or anyone, especially yourself. So until you build your self-esteem by yourself, don't date! Because then, when you do have a boyfriend, he'll obviously make you feel gorgeous and perfect, but when he leaves, will you still feel the same?! So build your esteem by yourself and then continue dating. Don't expect things, if they come, they come, if they don't... Nothing you can do about it. So just carry on talking and meeting up with new guys and see what comes out of it. Nothing too bad will happen. You're just being friendly, and stop telling people you have a low self-steem, you're just bringing yourself down, which isn't the way to go. Have the good friends that make you feel loved, or have that one good friend/best friend that makes you happy and things like that, don't dwell on the negative. When you feel negative, focus on the positive, think about how much your parents care about you, never forget them! They really do help. Talk to someone about it, whether it be a friend or a parent, tell them you are feeling down and just need a little help, the true ones will come running. And that is what friends are really for.
Ask Venzuela
im gonna keep this short and simple.
my boyfriend and i live 200 miles away from each other
we see each other once every 1-2 months
meaning we dont really have sex alot, yaknow?
well okay he wants to talk dirty on the phone
i dont
it makes me really uncomfortable/ awkward
he said he doesnt care, it makes him bored
& im a boring, selfish gf because i wont send pics/talk dirty.
what the fucck is that?
i told him to go find someone who would do that because he obviously doesnt care that i dont feel right doing it
and he was like yeah will do
SO SERIOUSLY wtf, now i feel bad for saying that
but that's wrong of him right? or am i being selfish..
17/f
hes 19
He doesn't sound like he cares about you or anything close to, YOU! He just disrespects you, so firstly, don't feel abd for saying that, what you said was the right thing and I couldn't have said it any better. Just go straight to it, he should know that you are being serious, so ask him if he wants to break up, I know this may be a rush, but you will only get hurt more if it stays the way it is. Draw the line and tell him whether he stops disrespecting, you both won't be together anymore. You're not the selfish one, he is! ;D
Ask Venzuela
I Have a problem
Im 13 years old and im 5'5 --5'6 and i weigh 120 pounds which is 55 kilos not fat at all
skinny or normal right?
but you see i used to be overweight and i worked REALLY hard to get to 120 and i wanna lose a LITTLE bit more
But my problem is is that if i ever want to eat something like a chocalate bar or chips or something i ALWAYS feel guilty, and im not joking i ALWAYS feel guilty, but i dont usually eat these stuff, i only eat them 1ce a week, i work out EVERYDAY on my treadmille
i fast walk for 50-60 minutes and i lose around 300 calories a day in my workout and i know that i burn way more because ijus worked out, but whatever i put in my mouth not only chocalate or junk food its basically alot of things seriosuly you have no idea how paranoid i can get, my whole family tells me that its bad and i can turn anorexic,, please help? :).
Stop going hysterical and just check your BMI, Body Mass Index. Google it or something, it will tell whether you're obese, underweight or healthy. It really is good, so just find out for yourself. To me, I don't care how much I eat or what people think, as long as I am happy with myself, that is all that counts. And the confidence that YOU carry as a person will definitely affect the people around you, and they will believe in that confidence you have. Don't focus on the negative, rather dwell of the positivity.
If you still are concerned then, maybe a visit to the dietician would be a good idea.
Ask Venzuela
My boyfriend loves me and I love him and we both care about each other a lot and we would both do anything for one another. But last night he had almost broken up with me because he is scared.
He's afraid to get close to people especially if it's a girlfriend... with all his previous relationships he goes out with the girl and then leaves them when he gets scared.
I would of just let him break up with me if i didn't think we didn't have something special. I can really see him and I together in the future and he feels the same.
I've told him to hold on and we'll make it and that this is different and I've told him he can make it over his fear.
But he's still scared and I've explained to him that I don't want to lose him and that he means everything to me. He told me he loves me too but he's terrified to get close....
I don't know what else I can do or say i just absolutely love this man and will do whatever it
takes to keep him.
Please Help thank you!
-Fallen Angel
Well, if you're worth it then, he should be able to try get over that fear, tell him that. He should pull himself together and see if he really does love you and isn't just in love with the idea of loving you, because someone could get hurt. I guess in a way it is understandable, but that fear can't stay forever, he has to get over it soon. And if you really mean everything to him, he should let you in. The openess and ability to let you in will show you AND him, that he is slowly getting over his fear, and getting close with you. You have to start though, try talking to him and telling him your private details, and then, ask him to, if he doesn't then forcing him will be needed. Bribe or threaten him, but don't threaten to leave him.
Ask Venzuela
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, but in the beginning of our relationship he checked my phone bill somehow and now I feel like I cant have any friends or even use the phone. I stopped calling everyone and stopped answering the phone. He has a house and I live in a 1 bedroom apartment. he never invites me to his house. I was there only 3 times. He says its because we cant smoke in his house, but I know this is bullshit. I'v never met any of his friends or family. Hes met some of my friends when I had them and hes met most of my family. He always goes on trips for days at a time. Recently he said he wanted to have a baby and I just cant see how I could raise a baby in a 1 bedroom apartment and him just come and visit us. I dont know what to do. Im totally isolated. I never go out unless I go to do laundry or food shopping. I dont know who he talks to, but I know he always has people at his house. It seems odd that everyone can go over his house but I cant. I dont know what to do. I ask him all the time if I can come over and he says no because we cant smoke. I feel like Im going to explode or kill myself soon. Please help.
This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship! This isn't what a relationship is suppose to be, not even close! It's ridiculous! You have to put your foot down now, rather be hurt for a couple of months or weeks, rather than being hurt for the years to come! Tell him you don't understand why EVERYONE can come to his house and you can't, and you are his grlfriend! You're meant to have a full right, to visit him whenever and maybe, move in one day!
Ask him if he is somehow embarrassed of you or what, and how come you haven't met his friends and family, and he has met yours! It isn't fair!
Just settle him down comfortably, and tell him how you feel! From head to toe! Let him know that you are being serious and you know the reason for you not being able to visit him is nonsense!
Sweety, don't lose yourself for a guy! It is the worst thing you can do! Friends are there for you whenever and wherever! Don't betray them now, get in touch with them and the real friends will be there for you, the others.... Obviously, aren't true! Friends are like second family, talk to them and tell them what has happened and that you are sorry for losing contact. Go out with them, for a crazy girls night out! Hang lose and have fun! So what if he checked your phone bill, it's a fre world, you are a person, you can call whoever you want! He shouldn't be cutting you off from the world!
Last but not the least, don't start a family with him until you know him well, eg. met family, friends and etc. If he doesn't understand you and what you feel then, maybe he isn't the right guy for you afterall! The right one is most probably still out there! ;) You definitely aren't worth this type of treatment!
Ask Venzuela
ok dont think im a slut cause im pretty far from it....but i do kinda feel like one cause i love my friends boyfriend and he has told me that if i really want him all i have to do is tell him and he would leave her for me. i think that is so mean to do though. i could never bring myself to do that to her. i love her as close as a sister and i have told her how i feel about him and showed her some of the txt messages that he sent me so she knows about it and she has talked to him about it and he denied that he would leave her. but we are getting pretty close and im scared to hurt her. another thing is that when i confessed to her she told me that she wasnt to worried that she trusted me and would never believe i would hurt her like that but its driving me insane i love him i really cant help it but i dont know what to do.........HELP
Get hold of yourself! He is your best friend's boyfriend! And it isn't only wrong to be getting flirty and intimate with him, but you're falling for him too! So stop this conversation with the guy, let him know that your friend is more important to you, and as much as you would want to, you won't! It is immoral! Get over him and start moving on, talk to other guys, keep busy! Remember he is your best friend's boyfriend! And ask yourself, would you mind if that best friend of yours started getting intimate with your boyfriend?!
And talk to your friend, tell her that you won't date him, but you just don't think he is a good guy, because he doesn't mind leaving her for you, which shows he has no loyalty and feelings for her, if he did, he would care about hurting her and never say something like that. Let your friend know that you feel this way because you care about her, and that you wouldn't get with him after they break up. Just tell her, let her know, don't expect anything, she will think and feel for herself!
Ask Venzuela
my kind of boyfriends dad passed like a year and a half ago and i think they r having a memorial for him this weekend.
he said he may ot be able to hang bc he has a tough weekend. and i asked me if i knew about his family (which i did) and i just feel so bad. and i want him to know im here for him but i dotn want to be annoying like eveyrone was to him. what can i text him or say to him so he knows im here for him? and he knows im legit, not just hav pity on him?
You are his girlfriend, obviously what you have to say that is from you and your heart is legit! And he should know it. But you can text him saying, 'Hey love, hope you feeling ok... Just want you to know that I'm here for you, ok?! Just a reminder... So don't forget! :) Love you...' That's all! And don't address the text or the matter unless he wants to! When he talks to you, he most probably wants to get his mind off things, like his dad, so keep the conversation light and happy, put lots of smilies! :D
Ask Venzuela
okay its this boy i really like and weve been talking and lastyear we didnt have any clases together but this year we do and today we were like staring at eachother in class and we have the same lunch together and i called him tonight and we talked for a while but this girl has him on her my space page but thier not a couple and he wants to come see me this weekend and i do too ....but i dont know if he is not serious with her or wants to be serious with me .... and by the way last year we were already established that we like eachother please just give me some advice thanks
Well, many people have someone on their myspace, and nothing is happening between them. Since the two of you have already established the felings you have for each other, why don't you ask him if he stil has the same feelings for you, since it was LAST year. The fact that you can be as comfortable and open with him, and him with you, is a good thing, because if you two get into an intimate relationship, it will really help the two of you. So ask him what's up, and once he has given you an answer, tell him about how you feel. You can ask him if anything is going on with the girl by just being friendly, like ask him, 'So whats this about you and... (the girl's name)?' or, just be straight up, ask him if he is single.
Ask Venzuela
I've never felt this way about a guy before. Sure I had crushes, and I even thought I was in love before.
When our eyes meet or when he moves in my direction I get sudden 1-second stomach pains, almost like extreme butterflies, which actually feel pretty good and exhilarating. What is this and can you explain it scientifically?
Also, he's not very good looking, at all, and I think this is the first time I've been attracted to a guy sexually for his personality and nothing else.
I just never felt this way before. I mean I never had these stomach pains before, for me I think I was always obsessive about some guys I liked and confused it with love.
By the way, I'm a sophomore in college, but I'm 17. Don't ask how that happened. I don't know if that information will help you help me.
I'm confused and overwhelmed with all these feelings. I'm feeling something very powerful that I've never felt before. Please just any feedback would be very appreciated.
Well, to me, 'love' is only real when there is some sort of close relationship with the other, and openess/comfort.
It is very easy to confuse infatuation with love, so becareful with what you feel.
As for the butterflies and intense feelings, those are totally natural, because the body, mind and soul are conneted, emotionally, mentally and physically, what you feel for someone is felt. The slight thought of him most probably gets you feeling intense and different, all that is because of the connection.
Ask Venzuela
I'm sure you're sick of hearing about these type of problems, but...there's someone at school who I'm really interested in. He has a girlfriend, and I'm fine with that, but I'd like to be closer with him friend-wise. He comes up to me sometimes and occasionally sits with me for long periods of time. The only problem is, I'm extremely shy and have a lot of trouble conversing with him. I usually end up staring into space, wishing I knew what to say, while he talks a little bit. Of course i don't stay completely silent the entire time, but i feel like my lack of interesting things to say is keeping us from becoming real friends. What should I do?
Don't be too harsh on yourself. Just figure out what you like talking about, something general, not like about your hair or something, that would be too specific. Ask him if he has any pets, and if he likes animals.... Strange topic, but at least there is a conversation! The fact that you're comfortable enough to talk about silly things like animals OR cheese! It doesn't matter. So just talk about anything that pops to mind. I know quite a few girls that start a really nice relationship with a guy they like, but starting off as friends, some of them are comfortable enough to talk about sex and positions, whereas some are comfortable just talking about sports, whatever interests you, talk about it! He will get to know you better, plus that s who you are, and comfidence is what is really admired! Be comfortable of who you are.
Ask Venzuela
My boyfriend seems to think that when he calls other girls hot it impresses me.
Well it doesnt, and honestly, it's really pissing me off.
Once or twice is some-what acceptable, but i'm talking about almost every day!
It's so awkward for me because i just stand there and look like a total idiot.
I mean, what am i supposed to say ...?
"Cool" ??
yeah right, so the other day i talked to him about it, and he said that's the last time i'll ever hear it from his mouth.
A few days pass and he was really keeping his word.
Then the other day we were talking about lindsay lohan and he was like
"Im not even gunna say it!"
and i was like
"what?"
"that shes hot."
and i was like "YOU JUST DID!"
things like that.
another thing he does is point out EVERY SINGLE pretty girl in the mall he says he knows and say
"I used to like her"
One time i busted him because we go to different schools
and he was like "I used to like her"
and it turns out the girl he pointed to
went to MY school.
so i said "how do you know her?"
and he was like "she goes to my school"
and then she comes over and says
"Hey!" to me.
not even acknowledging him!
and he never spoke about since then.
he does it to impress me and i know it.
or he'll spot a grouup of other pretty girls and tell me he knows him.
I have no idea what to do anymore!
im lost.
what do i do?
Tell him you DON'T find it impressing at ALL!! And it actually is quite stupid and immature. Guys have the weirdest ideas when it comes to impressing a girl they like, so tell him you don't like him telling you who he finds hott or whatever, and that is why he has GUY friends, to talk to them about things like that, not to his girlfriend. Tell him you know that he lies sometimes and you don't get why he finds it as something impressive. Just let him know how you feel.
Ask Venzuela
17/f
I met this guy at a party i went to friday night and i thought he was pretty cute. I told my friend that and she told him. He said i was pretty but he also liked someone else at the moment. Yesterday, one of my friends asked him why he didn't talk to me and he said he didn't want to talk about it. Today, i told a different friend to tell him that i thought he was cute but i didn't know if i liked him or not because i didn't really know him. He just said "okay." He never talks to me and i really want to get to know him. I don't know him because i have only met him briefly at the party and it was really quick and i thought he was cute. Well i don't know what to do now because i can't just go up to him and start talking because i don't know if him and i have no clue what i would say. I want him to come to me first but he won't. I am trying to get stuff started between us because i really think i would like him. Two guys this year that i thought were cute, i told them and they don't react which puts me in a bad position because i don't know where to go from there and it's really awkward. Should i not tell the guys i think are cute that they are cute anymore and get to know them before i tell them or what? please help! Also, what do i do about this guy? Going up to him and talking to him would be extremely weird or writing a note because i don't know him and it would be awkward but he's not doing anything either. Does this mean he might not like me? Help with all my questions please.
Maybe you should get to know them well before you tell them you like them, because that way, you can see if he is interested in you and so when you tell him, you won't be so hurt, and, that way, it doesn't make you look weird, by just liking someone without even knowing them, you know?! So get to know the guy and then tell him your feelings. Don't be disappointed if some guys don't talk to you or approach you, there is someone there who really likes you, you just have to open your eyes and look a little harder, he most probably is right before you. So if some guys don't want to talk to you, so what?! Go talk to others, be social, that is the easiest way to get guys to approach you, it makes you look approachable, rather than, unapproachable!
Ask Venzuela
I've been with my boyfriend for almost one year and 3 months. Lately I feel like he doesn't trust me around my guy friends. Today I hung out with two of my closet guy friends and he says that it's 'f***ed up' that I hung out with them....
He's starting to make me more frustrated and I seem like I'm crying more than I have before.
What can I do?
Maybe you guys have just grown out, the relationship has run its course, something along those lines. So talk to him and tell him that, those guys were your closest FRIENDS and nothing more, and he should trust you with them. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. A relationship is based on trust! So if he doesn't trust you, then, is there a point of a relationship? Tell him that it hurts you that he doesn't trust you, and it's been too long, so he should.
Ask Venzuela
this guy i like asked me out the 3rd day that school was out and i said yes but he told me not to tell any one but i did. He is telling every one that we are not going out but we are and no one but my friends beleive me. He calls me and tells me to tell every one that we arent going out untill school starts. So school started and he has been not listening to be and not talking to me. I still have feelings for this guy but i dont know what t do now.
He probably isn't very proud of you, and that is totally unacceptable! Tell him you don't understand why no one is suppose to know, you have to hear his side of the story. He should tell you though. The fact that he has stopped communicating with you, shows that he is a jerk and not worth your time. Unfortunately, worthless guys do exist, so just cut off all communication with him, don't text him or anything, just pretend he doesn't exist as something more than a school mate! Get friends over or something to help you get over him, start talking to other guys and get comfortable and friendly, this will let him know that he isn't worth it and you realised you're worth so much more and so much better than him.
Ask Venzuela
how do i know if my girlfriend is pulling away from me?? we've been livin togeter for 2 yrs, and im at that place in life where i want to ask her to marry me. but now she's acting all weird, quiet, distant, and i don't know what to do. i don't know if my bestfriend or her cousn told her i was gonna ask her to mary me or not. (her cousin and i are good friends, and besides my friend, the only other person i've told about it is her cousin. so things have been kindof strange for me the lat few weeks, cause i dont know if its that, or if she's seeing someone behind my back, or if she's planning on breaking up with me, or i dont now what. im scared to ask cause i dont want to upset her, but i feel like she should tell me whats going on with us. we went to visit my parents out of state last week, and i tried talkin to her about our futre on the ride up, but she said she didnt want to talk about that cause she didnt want to argue before we got to my folks place. when we do talk about serious stuff, its usually me doin tha talkin' and she just sits there lookin like shes interested, but it doesnt feel like it. i'm supposed to be goin out of twon for trainin in two weeks and i'll be gone for two weeks. we've never been away from eachother for more than a night or two before. part of me thinks itll be good cause she'll get to hang with her friends, and miss me while i'm gone, but what if somthing happens while i'm gone? please help me
Talk to her, if you are going to marry someone you HAVE to be completely open and comfortable, so if she is acting all distant, maybe she isn't ready for marriage yet. Just ask her and talk to her, that is the only way you'll find out for yourself, and if she loves you enough, she'll tell the truth about how she feels or whatever. So just communicate with her, approach her in a very caring way, and that you're concerned. Don't bring up the marriage idea yet, only if things begin to look good and she's starting to understand and see where you're coming from. Tell her how you feel too, tell her about the good cause, and how you feel it'd be great for her to spend time with friends and etc, when you're gone. Try be positive, if something does happen, it happened, nothing can change that.
The fact that she said she didn't want to 'argue' before you two got to your parents' house, hints that she maybe isn't ready, don't push her, if she isn't, she isn't, and I'm sorry.
Ask Venzuela
First of all, i'm 18 years old (female). I haven't had a serious boyfriend in over 2 years. that's not the problem. anyways, i have dated a lot of guys. usually, girls like guys who open the door for them, compliment them, call them baby and stuff like that, and want guys who won't just use them for sex. ok, i hate all that. i hate talking on the phone with guys and i hate when guys will do anything for you. it seems like i would rather have sex with a guy that will use me instead of dating a nice guy. whats wrong with me??
I guess you're just confused between sex and love/like. The easiest way to find out if a guy is using you just for sex or for something more, other than sex and objects etc., is to draw a boundary/line, tell him you aren't going to have sex with him ever, until marriage. It shows that you're clean and that you have integrity (something serious guys like and bad guys hate!). You don't really have to wait that long if you don't want to, just wait and see what happens, if he sticks around forever then, he most definitely isn't with you for the sex. The longer the wait, the better. This way you get the real and genuine guy, rather than the guy that just sweet-talk their way into your pants.
Ask Venzuela
i want to ask my girlfriend to homecoming in a cute creative way, but not too cheesy. do you have any ideas on how i could ask her?
Maybe send a bouquet of roses or her favourite flowers with a card, asking her to the homecoming, or, make a t-shirt with the question printed on it, or just by your finger-prints, that's creative!
Ask Venzuela
I have a girlfriend right now... And I'm not sure how things are going with her... I still love her I just miss my ex. I thought things wern't working out with her because we fought too much but I didn't know what I was losing. I miss her more than anything but now she wont talk to me. I'd do anything to get her back but she wont talk to me anymore. Do you know what i should do?
17/m
I'm guessing you forced yourself into a relationship when you weren't ready for one. My advice to you is to break it off with you current girlfriend. You are hurting her more by being with her and thinking and missing your ex, that is unfair. So tell your ex that you don't think you're COMPLETELY over your ex, and you find it very unfair to tie her down by being with her and dreaming about another person, - this shows your sensitive and caring side, girls appreciate it! But if you don't want people knowing that you aren't over your ex, then, just tell her that, you aren't ready for a relationship and need some time to think it through.
After you have broken up with her, stay single. Be sure that you have completely healed and then get into another relationship, but only when you're totally ready. Don't confuse love with infatuation. Figure out what is which and then, get committed, that includes NOT thinking about anyone else but that one.
Ask Venzuela
My bf just broke up with me like 3 weeks ago, and we had been going out for 9 months! At first i wasn't too bugged by it b/c he had been being a jerk and it was kinda nice being single. Now, he has a new gf (they both go to a different school) and i almost feel jealous. We e-mail eachother...but don't ever talk on the phone...even tho he said he wanted to be "friends" still. I just want to get over this guy since it seems like he got over me pretty quickly (he got a new gf like a week and a half after we broke up). When I e-mail him I think I always sound desperate and like i'm trying to get him back, but i don't mean to sound like that nad i really have no idea what to do.
HELP! i'm so confused :(
-rachel, 13
The best answer to you regretting your emails and feeling that you sound jealous would be, to NOT email him. That way you don't regret and it seems as if you are over him and frankly don't care about him anymore. So stop emailing him and just see what happens, you'll be over him before you know it. Remember the easiest way to get over a guy is to cut ALL communication with him for a while, a while could be months or just days, depending on how fast you get over guys. You never know, he could be a jerk and force himself into a relationship when he isn't ready, just to make you jealous. So forget him, he isn't worth it. Plus, it is over.
Ask Venzuela