I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, but in the beginning of our relationship he checked my phone bill somehow and now I feel like I cant have any friends or even use the phone. I stopped calling everyone and stopped answering the phone. He has a house and I live in a 1 bedroom apartment. he never invites me to his house. I was there only 3 times. He says its because we cant smoke in his house, but I know this is bullshit. I'v never met any of his friends or family. Hes met some of my friends when I had them and hes met most of my family. He always goes on trips for days at a time. Recently he said he wanted to have a baby and I just cant see how I could raise a baby in a 1 bedroom apartment and him just come and visit us. I dont know what to do. Im totally isolated. I never go out unless I go to do laundry or food shopping. I dont know who he talks to, but I know he always has people at his house. It seems odd that everyone can go over his house but I cant. I dont know what to do. I ask him all the time if I can come over and he says no because we cant smoke. I feel like Im going to explode or kill myself soon. Please help.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? VeNzUeLa answered Friday September 5 2008, 2:01 pm: This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship! This isn't what a relationship is suppose to be, not even close! It's ridiculous! You have to put your foot down now, rather be hurt for a couple of months or weeks, rather than being hurt for the years to come! Tell him you don't understand why EVERYONE can come to his house and you can't, and you are his grlfriend! You're meant to have a full right, to visit him whenever and maybe, move in one day!
Ask him if he is somehow embarrassed of you or what, and how come you haven't met his friends and family, and he has met yours! It isn't fair!
Just settle him down comfortably, and tell him how you feel! From head to toe! Let him know that you are being serious and you know the reason for you not being able to visit him is nonsense!
Sweety, don't lose yourself for a guy! It is the worst thing you can do! Friends are there for you whenever and wherever! Don't betray them now, get in touch with them and the real friends will be there for you, the others.... Obviously, aren't true! Friends are like second family, talk to them and tell them what has happened and that you are sorry for losing contact. Go out with them, for a crazy girls night out! Hang lose and have fun! So what if he checked your phone bill, it's a fre world, you are a person, you can call whoever you want! He shouldn't be cutting you off from the world!
Last but not the least, don't start a family with him until you know him well, eg. met family, friends and etc. If he doesn't understand you and what you feel then, maybe he isn't the right guy for you afterall! The right one is most probably still out there! ;) You definitely aren't worth this type of treatment!
BahaiMa22 answered Friday September 5 2008, 1:18 pm: Honestly,
It doesn't sound like much of a relationship, A relationship should be 50-50 with honesty and trust. If he doesn't invite you to his house and goes away days at a time...don't you think that sounds a little suspisious? Ask yourself, Are you happy? Does he make you happy? Would you rather give up having fun with friends all for a guy who really doesn't seem to want to bother with you? Yes, I think you are also right raising a baby in a one bedroom apartment would be extremely tough. Babies are tough work yet alone when the baby gets older where would he/she sleep or play? Would he make a good father? Husband? Would he support you and the child? He doesn't seem to be really supporting you now if he's isolating you from having a life of your own.
karenR answered Friday September 5 2008, 1:10 pm: You need to get out and have a life.
Start by telling this clown you don't
want to see him anymore and MEAN IT!
If you have been with a guy for 2 years,
have been to his house only 3 times,
can't use your own phone, have never met
his family or friends...your not a
girlfriend. Your someone for him to
come over and have sex with when HE feels
like it.
Please, this is abusive. DO NOT have a
child with this man. You already know
this relationship is just wrong. Don't
bring a child into it. If you do you
will be forever connected to this guy.
You are isolated from the world. Get a
life of your own. Find a job and better
yourself. It will be hard but you can do it.
With a job you can get out and meet people.
Make friends, meet decent men.
Trust me, get rid of this guy and you will
soon feel so relieved. It will take a while
to get over him, but you will if you stick
with it.
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