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what's wrong with me?
First of all, i'm 18 years old (female). I haven't had a serious boyfriend in over 2 years. that's not the problem. anyways, i have dated a lot of guys. usually, girls like guys who open the door for them, compliment them, call them baby and stuff like that, and want guys who won't just use them for sex. ok, i hate all that. i hate talking on the phone with guys and i hate when guys will do anything for you. it seems like i would rather have sex with a guy that will use me instead of dating a nice guy. whats wrong with me??
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You want excitement, and you steer towards the guys who excite you.
Its the bad boy trap that women have been fighting for years upon years, and the more submissive your personality the worse it gets.
You want confident exciting guys. Unfortunately, in most young guys confidence is never tempered by failure and experience, so it turns into arrogance.
What do you do? Date guys in their early 20s and find an exciting hobby. You want excitement in your day, but if you had some excitement, a way to quench that adventurous side you have, then you wouldn't need your boyfriend to fill that role so much, and you might find yourself subconsciously drifting towards guys with more of a balance in their lives.
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I guess you're just confused between sex and love/like. The easiest way to find out if a guy is using you just for sex or for something more, other than sex and objects etc., is to draw a boundary/line, tell him you aren't going to have sex with him ever, until marriage. It shows that you're clean and that you have integrity (something serious guys like and bad guys hate!). You don't really have to wait that long if you don't want to, just wait and see what happens, if he sticks around forever then, he most definitely isn't with you for the sex. The longer the wait, the better. This way you get the real and genuine guy, rather than the guy that just sweet-talk their way into your pants.
Ask Venzuela
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Alright..i pretty much know exactly what your going through. Im almost 18 myself and find myself thinking the same way.
Theres just so few "good guys" out there and the bad boys are so prominent these days that it just feels natural to settle for one.
but my advice, and from experience, dont settle!
It starts out so fun, but then it just leaves you feeling empty...and wanting more.
Even thought you might not be attracted to them at first, try dating someone outside your style, like a good guy and see where that takes you.
:)
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Dear heart, there is nothing wrong with you. I understand what you are going through in your thoughts. It is called the good guy/bad boy syndrome. Usually at the age you are, values, morals and demand isn't socially accepted, appreciated or understood. We as women tend to be attracted to men who aren't gentlemen, but thuggish. Thuggish in dress, thuggish meaning the opposite of respectful.
Start first trying to date guys who will open doors, speak to you with respect and like you for you - important: you aren't respecting yourself by SETTLING for anything less than a gentleman. You will appreciate it more as you get older. Start respecting self more by wanting more for yourself differing from sex only. There are some good guys out there, try giving one of them a chance. You aren't a door mat!
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