Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32633
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ThirdQED
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is it possiable to loose weight without exercise?
i walk everywhere, its my only form of exercise but im on a strict diet.
will my body get weird if i dont work out when i diet? (link)
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It is possible, However exercise does help.
Remember, NEVER over work yourself
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19/f. I live with my mom and my grandparents. I attend university here where I live. I didn't think I was going to like staying here at home for college but I ended up loving my school. I went to an all girls private high school and it was really a refreshing change to be around guys I guess and also to be around people who r not snobby. Basically, I really liked my school and I'm doing really, really well in school. Living at home is a nightmare. I stayed because my family BEGGED me 2 stay. They said they would give me my space and all of that. They most certainly ARE NOT. EVERYTHING is an argument with them. Let's start by saying that my mom doesn't even let me style my own hair. She doesn't even let me wash it myself. She will cry, scream, and throw a tantrum if I don't let her wash my hair. Whenever I have a date, they don't let me drive myself. They drop me off and pick me up. Talk about awkward. They stay at the mall where I go sometimes if its more than 5 miles away from the house. My mom drives me to and back from school. I understand that were sharing the car but I don't think its necessary to make my life nearly impossible. I'm 19. I am a women and a college student. I've been making my own money since I was 16 and I've been like the perfect daughter. I've never done anything wrong or gotten in trouble. They are treating me like this because they don't know how to let go. I am transferring to another school upstate in a year because I feel like its the only way to gain my independence. In the meantime, how can I approach this??
(link)
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I would start looking for a room mate at your college, Perhaps an apartment near the University.
At 19, You are a full grown woman who is entitled to their privacy and independence. Have you sat your mother down and explained how you felt and how what she is doing has an effect on your outlook of living there and your independence? I think it's ridiculous that your mother would act out if she couldn't style and wash your hair. Let her know that you are an adult and you can take care of yourself and make your own decisions.
However I recommend looking into door rooms, See if anyone needs a room mate, Or possibly rent out an apartment somewhere.
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i am well soon to turn 15 and me and my boyfriend really want to have a baby. my boyfriend is 100%loyal to me. i guess i want to know if i should go through with this. i mean what to tell my mom i dont know my 16 year old sister is already thinking she might be pregnant to. i also would like to know if it is expensive to be home schooled and be home with my child. thank you. (link)
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No it is not a good idea at all.
My oldest sister home schools her children and again no it is not cheap, You need the proper education to home school your children and yet you are only 15 years old you do not have the proper education.
It is VERY VERY expensive to raise a child, It is 24 hour job. At 15, You should be focus on your education, Trying to prepare for a part time job, Seeking your license etc. Not having children.
A child should live in a stable environment, Too even get by you need a full time job and not one that pays the minimum wage. Your boyfriend is an idiot for thinking he is nearly ready to be having a child, Your thinking is also not very on tact either. You are too young, Simple as that. If you have a child at 15, I can promise you it will be hard as hell and you will be reliant on your parents to help you raise that child. When you have a child it is YOUR responsibility to raise it, Not your parents.
What in Gods name is the world coming too? If your 16 year old sister is pregnant, Guess what she ruined her years because once you have a child it's not about YOU anymore. If that child is crying..You need to be there for it. Sick, You be there for it, You want to go out with your friends, You have a child to raise and that child comes first. Children need diapers and diapers can cost a good 40 dollars a month maybe even more. Crib is about 140 and that is a CHEAP crib, Car seats range from 80 and up, That baby will need clothes, food, toys, crib, car seat, high chair, diapers, and a load of other things. It's not cheap and the answer is you are NOT ready. Use your head
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There is this really hot girl I've been talking to. She told me she's slept with a lot of people. I mean, a lot, like 40 something guys. She's so hot though and, to be frank, she's easy.
I want to have sex. She told me that she'd do it with me next week if I come over to her place while her parents are gone. She has a big pool there and she said she always does it in the pool so that she's clean and STD free. What she was saying was that the chemicals in the pool kill any STDs that somebody might be carrying.
Sounds great but I want to double check this. I'd hate to have to go to the doctor after banging her. Is she telling the truth? (link)
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I completely agree with Witty, She is an idiot.
Nothing is STD free, She has sex with numerous people...and you want to have sex with this person?!
Hell, She might be attractive but for gods sake my grandmother has more sense then that. Is she telling the truth?.. NO
Also, Just because you find someone attractive is a very poor reason for having sex with them. Use your head
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my boyfriend and i broke up and i slept with my ex. when we got back together i told him about it, now he's so insecure that he's a jerk. its like if one of his friends sleep over he'll be mad and give me the cold shoulder the whole time and the next morning! even after they leave. and when i ask him about it he'll say "how do i know what you did after i fell asleep" i tell him he's being hurtful by saying these things and he says he's not trying to hurt me but this is how he feels. what should i do? i want him to trust me because im not doing anything wrong and i never cheated on him but he insists otherwise. (link)
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You both were not dating, You didn't do anything wrong indeed. You sit him down and you explain to him that you never cheated on him and never would.
It is wrong for your boyfriend to be holding what happened while you two were not together over your head, However this also can depend on how long you two were separated. Was it a week? Two weeks?...Or was it a few months? You didn't label no specific details.
If it has been a few months, Then HE is in the wrong. He needs to get over it and move on and if he can't trust you and try to put in the effort to work on it then I have no idea why you would want to be in a relationship with someone who has assumptions that you would cheat during the relationship.
If you two were broken up over a course of a few weeks, Then I can understand his anger and a why he is annoyed. Depending on how long you two previously dated and the relationship between the two of you it is hurtful and somewhat disrespectful and it shows that maybe you didn't care to much about the relationship. However, This all depends on how long you were separated. Remember despite the circumstances you DID NOT Cheat on him and if he can't trust you, Then move on and keep it that way.
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my boyfriend wont let me near his phone. he gets paranoid if i ask to see it and watches my every move. he sleeps with it in his pocket or under his pillow. should i be worried? (link)
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Yes, I'd be suspicious.
I think in a relationship your boyfriend is entitled to his privacy, However if he is going to be acting paranoid and getting to the point where he watches your every move and sleeps with is phone...That's a bit of a sketchy situation and it's a heads up.
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i'm just wondering how many of you believe in love at first sight? i honestly thought it was the stupidest thing ive ever heard of but then i saw one of my friends guy friends and my heart just like sunk and i had butterflies and all that stuff people talk about when they're in love. i've had alot of crushes but none of them gave me this feeling. what do you think it is? (link)
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I personally don't believe in love at first site, However everyone thinks different on the situation.
I believe that love happens when you aren't looking, When you least expect it and "love at first site" is fate in my opinion.
Sometimes love can be right under your nose, As I married my husband that I didn't know well when we first met and later learned we attended the same recreational camp every year as young kids, We went to the same school and a bunch of other coincidence things that I can pull out of my head at the moment.
Most of all, I believe everything happens for a reason.
I think maybe you found the guy attractive and developed a crush with excitement.
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Hi :) well am kind of coonfused so if you can help me i would appreciate it. ;)
here is my story. i just moved to a new house and the house owner is a man that is handsome. he is not that cute but the first time i saw him he grabed my attention. i dont know what it is that he has but he just seems to be stuck in my head. :( he lives with his wife and has kids i know this is disrespectful. am only 18 and he is 29. everytime i go outside he stares at me, i dont know if he likes me but its just something about him that grabs my attention and makes me like me. & the weird thing is that he looks at me alot :) can you guy please help me out here because am confused ;( (link)
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He's married and has children
Be friendly but know your boundaries, It is very wrong to come between a marriage.
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is it safe to put whipped cream on a girls vagina? (link)
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No
Things that don't belong on a vagina, Don't belong there for a reason.
Whipped cream could increase the risk of yeast infections and so can't many other things that don't belong there.
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I'm not sure if this is in the right category... But anyway, I am 21 Female and I hate my personality. I kinda always have!. I have a lot of things wrong with me. I'm lazy, selfish, socially awkward, jealous, geeky, crazy and I let people down easy. I cant tell AT ALL if I am bugging, hurting, offending or embarrassing someone. I cant hold a conversation and I have a hard time starting them. When I have them people usually find me awkard to talk to cuz I dont know how to react. People tell me to be myself and thats who I am so I desperately dont want to be myself. There are tons of ways to change outer appearance, I'm wondering if there are ways to change your personality. I go to Therapy and I have a great therapist but are there other things I should be doing? Are there certain, specific tereatments that can make me fun, cool, loyal, energetic, positive, and just one of those people everyone wants to talk to and be around? I will do anything and money isnt an issue. I need help. Its taking over my life and I just cant take it anymore. Please NO rude comments or anything saying "Just be yourself" "Love yourself for who you are" or anything like that. Thanks (link)
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You pretty much nailed the same situation I'm in, As I am still a work in progress I will give you some pointers that have helped me in the run.
1. The more you socialize, The better you will get at it. You see someone you know, Say "Hey! How are ya" Remember to always smile when you greet someone. (As I often forget to smile) but since I put on a face I've come along way in that category.
People can change, The first step to changing is recognizing the problem. If you are lazy, Do something you wouldn't normally do. If you would rather be a couch potato and watch TV, Instead get up and go for a walk. A 10 minute effort can be a huge step. Socially awkward..I hear you I have been on medication for years for anxiety. However, Like I said above anything is possible to conquer. It may not be an easy process but nothing comes overnight. Therapy would be a great thing to try, I myself am also taking that one into consideration. It will take time, Make yourself a goal.
I hope you accomplish your wishes, Good luck!
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i am a teenager and i really want to dye my hair but my mom refuses to allow it unless i can find one that washes out and isnt that bad for my hair. i have always wanted brown hair. i had gold hair when i was little but now its kinda dirty blonde because i have natural sun bleaching or whatever. i was reading something about some brands you found at wal mart and i was wondering if you would suggest them or any other brands that wash out and not grow out you know? so thank you. (link)
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If you dye your hair, I would recommend using L'Oreal as it is recommended by hair dressers and it doesn't do as much damage to your hair as some of the other dye.
I would also recommend using temporary dye seeing this is would your first time, I have been doing hair for years and from experience whatever you do stay away from Nice N Easy as it is heavy on the hair and difficult to wash out.
A permanent dye usually last me around 2-3 months before my roots start to grow out noticeably, Temporary dye can last up to a month depending on the brand you use. When you dye your hair, Be careful not to over do it. As dyeing your hair too much can lead to hair damage, Ugly colors and eventually hair loss. I recommend dying your hair every 5-6 months if you were to keep up with it.
NEVER dye your hair from a dark color to a light, (Say you did Black to Blond) More than likely it will not come out and instead of Blond you will more than likely get a orange look. IF you were to ever bleach your hair, Use a hair bleaching kit. Never use any home remedies as it is NOT supposed to be used on hair. After you dye your hair wait 24 hours to wash it and stay away from any pools that may contain chlorine.
Good luck Kiddo, Hope it all works well for you.
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im recently single and my friends keep trying to get me with my best friend who already has a girlfriend. me and him are close enough to talk about anything in the world but friends try so hard to the point its not funny any more we used to joke and hed hold me as they freakout. he trusts me that i like him and his gf together, their perfect. i cant convince my friends to stop how do i? their mind is set, but so is mine as im not gonna be with him him and his girl are amazing together. im proud of him (link)
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Tell your friends that you don't appreciate the pressure of them trying to hook you up with other people and ask them to respect your wishes of wanting to stay single. Friends don't pressure other friend especially when they just got out of a relationship and if anything instead of acting like jerks they should respect you and be more supportive.
Respecting your friends relationship is a great thing, It shows you have respect for him and his happiness. Also, I would have a talk with your friends. Sometimes certain "jokes" go to far.
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I'm 13 and just started my period a couple of months ago. I decided to wear tampons because I'm in swim team and I had no other choice. I took my a couple of my mother's w/o her knowing (I never got the nerve to tell her I had started). The tampons she had were the big ones. But I had no choice. But a couple of weeks ago I got diarrhea and I was extremely dizzy. I had heard about TSS and was really freaked out. What do you guys think it is? (link)
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You don't have toxic shock, Stop being paranoid
Diarrhea, Dizziness, Cramping, Vomiting on some occasions are all symptoms of a period and many woman experience these symptoms even I do at times.
It could of also been dehydration, Not drinking enough water can also cause dizziness and diarrhea.
You said you were on your period, These symptoms are normal.
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I'm a 20 year old female and my friend is a 22 year old male. We've been friends off and on for about 5 months. He likes me in a romantic way but I don't feel the same and I've made this clear to him. He ended our friendship a couple of times because he said it's too hard being friends with me since he likes me so much. After he ends our friendship he always ends up calling me saying he still wants to be friends. The most recent time he ended it, he called 5 days later saying he missed me. He said that those 5 days were so hard for him and that he even lamented over me. He's very emotional and dramatic. He calls me everyday and tries to talk for hours, he wants to hang out all the time and says he loves me. If I tell him I can't hang out he says, "If we can't hang out I'm gonna cry I swear to God." He says he often cries over me, especially if I don't give him a hug when he drops me off at home. He never wants to include other people when we hang out and says that there are certain activities that only we can do together because it's special. It's like he doesn't want to share me with anyone else. At this point he's really creepy and clingy. He can't go a day without talking to me and always leaves me voicemails. I don't know what to do because he doesn't give me space and he just drains me. I often feel like telling him to leave me alone and go away because he brings a lot of stress and drama in my life. I'm afraid that he might start stalking me because of the way he acts. (link)
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This isn't just potential stalking like Dear suggested below, This is also obsession.
If this guy is crying over you, Calling you numerous times and trying to gain your sympathy by telling you he does these sort of things when you reject him then you need to back off on how much you hang out with him. In fact if it were my way, I think I would start to ignore him for awhile, If he calls DON'T call him back, If he texts..ignore it. This is creepy, This is immature and pathetic on some level that a 22 year old would act in such a manner. If he talks to you, Be stern with him simply address the situation by saying (I feel that we should not have contact with one another I have no interest in you and this has gone far enough) If he keeps it up then you SAVE all the voice mails, text messages and you save all the calls and you take it to the police as then you have a clear case of stalking, obsession AND harassment. Stand your ground, Don't beat around the bush.
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This one really hot guy asked me out and his friend asked meif i like him and i said NO i rather date this really ugly guy but i want to give him my number so we can talk or something and i will never see him again but i don't know how to tell him i like him but i kind of don't want to go out (link)
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Simply let him know that you think it would be best if you two stayed friends.
and looks are not everything...
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I Just Made 15 May 26.My Boyriend Is 17 Now bt his bday is october 10.So my dad is like he can go to jail and i dont want you with him.but ilove this guyy so much and i no some people are like your to young for all this but if you could feel what we have you would understand.we been dating for 4 months.hes much more mature than me and he says he loves me soo much.my family is trying to tears us apart.i tried to break up with him once,but he knew that it was not my heart speaking.He said ill do what ever it takes to be with you,we not had sex or anything so thats nothing to do with it.but my family wont leave me alone about him,its crazy love is crazy. (link)
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You might of been with this guy for 4 months, However once he turns 18 he is legally an adult. Your parents have say on who and who you are with considering the unfortunate but you are a minor. If you two were to have any sexual contact with one another he could be in some serious trouble, All it takes is for one person to say the wrong thing. You are under your parents roof, You are a minor, You are their child and if they say they don't want you to date him...Then that is what it will be. You can try talking to them but again it is THEIR choice.
IF you and your boyfriend ever did decide to have sex and IF someone ever did find out your boyfriend could be charged with sexual assault, Statutory rape to a person under the age of 18, Corruption of a minor etc.
My advice and although you don't want to hear it, Is if your parents don't want you with him then listen to them.
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I am going to create a Myspace and I would like some help finding websites that are safe for my computor with have layouts. Please and Thank you! (link)
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pimp-my-profile.com
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ok so im 14 right now and i think i like girls and guys but im more turned on to guys so am i gay or bi? and i am single i really like this one guy but he is 17 what should i do about him? oh and im also looking for a nice 14 year old in western nebraska but a long distance relashionship is fine with me so guys or girls leave me your number tell me your name age and gender and ill text you (link)
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This is not a dating site, This is a site for advice. If you want a mate, That is what facebook is for.
From what you've describe you could be bisexual but at your age you are probably just sexually curious.
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Hi, I am 47 and am getting married in about 6 weeks. My friend who is 25 wanted to make our wedding cake. I wasn't comfortable with it at the time but said ok because she really wanted to do it and it was going to be our wedding gift from her. She can be immature at times and gets easily offended. We work together on a Board of Directors for a camp. She sat on some information I gave her and lied to one of the people in charge. She made it sound like I was the one who sat on the information when I gave it to her weeks before. I confronted her about it and she got mad and said she didn't lie and made some excuse to make it sound like what she did was ok. She never apologizes when she does something wrong nor when she hurts me. Now I would rather not have her make our cake nor be at our wedding, but I don't know how to tell her this without her taking offense. She is so immature that if something doesn't go her way, she will literally throw a tantrum and walk out, and I do not want our wedding day to be ruined because she isn't included in a photo or involved in doing something. When I didn't hear from her I asked her if she was still making our cake and if not I found somewhere else that can do it, and she took offense to that. I am just tired of all her drama. We used to live in the same area but she has moved to a different city so we do not see nor talk to each other as much anymore. This sounds terrible but it would be no big loss if I ended the friendship. She considers me her best friend but I never considered her my best friend. My future husband is my best friend. I am sorry this is long but I don't know how to shorten it without leaving out crucial details. Hope someone can give me some advice, and let me know if it is proper etiquette to "disinvite" someone from your wedding. (link)
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This is your wedding, You are entitled to who shows up and who doesn't. If you don't want your friend to make the cake for you, You are entitled to that as well.
You can explain to her exactly what you've explained to us above, You feel that it would be best if she wasn't a guest at your wedding then you tell her just that. There is no nice way of putting out that sort of information but remembering that it is your day is important. If she feels you owe her an explanation just simply tell her that you feel that her being at the wedding would cause to much stress on both you and your fiance and you would prefer her not to be there. Yes, She may get offended but there is no nice way to deliver such news. As you said, It wouldn't be much of a loss for you if you two didn't continue a friendship, Delivering news would probably anger her but that is on her part to except it and grow up. This is your day not hers.
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I'll just get right to the point here.
There's this really CREEPY guy whos two years older than me (he's about 17) and he has always bothered me...
i used to be friends with him, and a few months ago, he mysteriously got my phone number and began to text me
i left my phone for awhile, and when i came back, i had 5 or so missed calls from him and a voicemail or two.
This started a seemingly NEVER ENDING period where he would just call me non-stop all day, send me pictures of himself (just his face, looking sad, texting me, and leaving me voicemails. He must of called me 60 or so times over the course of a weekend. I never answered once which made him angry.
He began to call less and less until the point where he'd only call me once every few weeks.
I just ignored him in school and out of school.
So summer started about a week ago, and he started texting me again. and he was all like "oh we should date" or "why wont you give me a chance" and then he started getting really creepy and making me uncomfortable by saying things like "i think your so gorgeous and beautiful" and "how far have you gone with a guy, just curious". then he was all like "dont i seem like a really sweet guy because of the stuff im saying" and "why wont you just give me a chance, i can be a really nice guy if you get to know me"
by the way id like to say, i was NOT leading him on, so PLEASE dont try to stick up for him. i was truly trying to be nice to him-im always nice to people even when i dont like them.
he was also lying to me about how he "no longer smokes weed". this is a lie. hes a complete pothead, always has been. i hold a grudge with the whole stoner thing, but thats kind of a different story.
anyways, now for the bad part...yeah that wasnt the bad part.
so today he started texting me, and i pretty much told him to stop talking to me because he really annoyed me...and he FLIPPED out on me. he started calling all these mean names and stuff...a few of the texts were: (i apologize for the horrible language, but i just want to show the extremity of this..)
(i told him to go bother someone else, he replied with) "Ok. I will you fucking two-faced hobag"
or
(i said something like "wow your really pathetic arent you?" he replied with) "No you are a fucking cum guzzling thunder cunt. ok now stop texting me you ungreatful fuck up."
trust me, im a big girl, i can defend myself. some creep being a douchebag to me doesnt usually phase me too much, but THIS...really pushing it. Then it got worse
he started turning it around on me, saying that if i continued to text him he'd file harassment.
...
IS THAT A JOKE? after HE called me hundreds of times only a few months ago??
so then i told him to go to sleep (something like that) and he suddenly says this: "Why dont you go die. or i will make it happen."
i have to things to say about this.
1.I lost a very good friend of mine this year, along with another classmate, and death is still a sensitive subject, i try to avoid it if i can help it.
2. could this be considered a death threat? after i told him "thats pretty low. how dare you say something like that?" and he replied with "I wasnt kidding."
I dont think ive ever been so mad in my life.
he also started to get all snippy with me, like when i yelled at him and told him that was a serious thing to threaten he just replied with "ok cupcake". i just stopped talking to him after that
i couldnt even speak. i didnt know if i wanted to cry or blow up. he made me so frusturated and mad and, to be honest, scared. but i would never give him the satisfaction that he scared me
i dont know what to do. i already told me younger sisters about all of it, and i would like to tell my parents, but id be afraid theyd blow the situation up and report it to the police and everything. im not saying its unreasonable, i mean, its not, but it would be out of my control, you know?
and i know it was wrong to continue pressing the conversation, but whats done is done, and it ended up like this.
what should i do exactly? press charges? brush it off? try to talk it out? i dont know!? any input would be great :) (link)
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Being nice doesn't always pay off, Especially for certain ass hats that don't want to listen.
Be stern with him, Let him know where he stands and stop beating around the bush. If you want him to stop calling then you tell him. (Stop calling my phone, I am not interested in you) If this doesn't work a second time around guess what If he keeps on calling you save it. Save all the text messages and calls to your phone. As long as you continue to ignore him then he has nothing to use against you when you file a complaint.
Good for you for standing your ground, Nobody should date someone who is demanding and manipulative. You could also try going to your phone company and see if they could block the number from your phone. I believe if they can do this, It might cost you an extra 10 bucks but should be worth it.
I also do agree with KarenR, I wouldn't try to talk it out because it does seem to egg him on, For now I would continue to ignore him. The more you ignore his calls the less and less he will bother you. Sure, He stopped calling then picked up again but if you don't show him any reaction and continue to ignore him then overtime he will get bored and move on.
Remember this one line, "Silence can be the best medicine." If he doesn't stop calling you, Then I would go to the police and file a complaint against him. Again, Make sure you save all calls, voice mails, and text messages.
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