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Scared/Mad/Confused
I'll just get right to the point here.
There's this really CREEPY guy whos two years older than me (he's about 17) and he has always bothered me...
i used to be friends with him, and a few months ago, he mysteriously got my phone number and began to text me
i left my phone for awhile, and when i came back, i had 5 or so missed calls from him and a voicemail or two.
This started a seemingly NEVER ENDING period where he would just call me non-stop all day, send me pictures of himself (just his face, looking sad, texting me, and leaving me voicemails. He must of called me 60 or so times over the course of a weekend. I never answered once which made him angry.
He began to call less and less until the point where he'd only call me once every few weeks.
I just ignored him in school and out of school.
So summer started about a week ago, and he started texting me again. and he was all like "oh we should date" or "why wont you give me a chance" and then he started getting really creepy and making me uncomfortable by saying things like "i think your so gorgeous and beautiful" and "how far have you gone with a guy, just curious". then he was all like "dont i seem like a really sweet guy because of the stuff im saying" and "why wont you just give me a chance, i can be a really nice guy if you get to know me"
by the way id like to say, i was NOT leading him on, so PLEASE dont try to stick up for him. i was truly trying to be nice to him-im always nice to people even when i dont like them.
he was also lying to me about how he "no longer smokes weed". this is a lie. hes a complete pothead, always has been. i hold a grudge with the whole stoner thing, but thats kind of a different story.
anyways, now for the bad part...yeah that wasnt the bad part.
so today he started texting me, and i pretty much told him to stop talking to me because he really annoyed me...and he FLIPPED out on me. he started calling all these mean names and stuff...a few of the texts were: (i apologize for the horrible language, but i just want to show the extremity of this..)
(i told him to go bother someone else, he replied with) "Ok. I will you fucking two-faced hobag"
or
(i said something like "wow your really pathetic arent you?" he replied with) "No you are a fucking cum guzzling thunder cunt. ok now stop texting me you ungreatful fuck up."
trust me, im a big girl, i can defend myself. some creep being a douchebag to me doesnt usually phase me too much, but THIS...really pushing it. Then it got worse
he started turning it around on me, saying that if i continued to text him he'd file harassment.
...
IS THAT A JOKE? after HE called me hundreds of times only a few months ago??
so then i told him to go to sleep (something like that) and he suddenly says this: "Why dont you go die. or i will make it happen."
i have to things to say about this.
1.I lost a very good friend of mine this year, along with another classmate, and death is still a sensitive subject, i try to avoid it if i can help it.
2. could this be considered a death threat? after i told him "thats pretty low. how dare you say something like that?" and he replied with "I wasnt kidding."
I dont think ive ever been so mad in my life.
he also started to get all snippy with me, like when i yelled at him and told him that was a serious thing to threaten he just replied with "ok cupcake". i just stopped talking to him after that
i couldnt even speak. i didnt know if i wanted to cry or blow up. he made me so frusturated and mad and, to be honest, scared. but i would never give him the satisfaction that he scared me
i dont know what to do. i already told me younger sisters about all of it, and i would like to tell my parents, but id be afraid theyd blow the situation up and report it to the police and everything. im not saying its unreasonable, i mean, its not, but it would be out of my control, you know?
and i know it was wrong to continue pressing the conversation, but whats done is done, and it ended up like this.
what should i do exactly? press charges? brush it off? try to talk it out? i dont know!? any input would be great :)
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Wow. That is one hell of a saga you've got going there.
First off, not that you ever would forget it, but remember the way this guy acted. Remember what a guy is like when he tells you he's a "nice guy".
A "nice guy" is code for "a guy who will act nice and treat you well expecting you to act in return however he wants and who will consider you to "owe" him affection if you do anything other than tell him to get the fuck away. There are guys out there who treat relationships like a business exchange, they "do something for you" and you're supposed to love them for it and do something back. Usually doing something for you means they be somewhat nice and you doing something in return means a blowjob or something similar.
You are smart to run like hell from these people.
I get your concerns. You're not sure if this might blow over, and you're not sure if maybe leaving this alone will let it just go away. At this point, save the message on your phone, lock it so it won't auto delete. And try to forget about it.
If he texts you one more time, I mean for any reason, bring that text to your parents and a school counselor. He's a complete asshole, but at this point it's possible he's done with you and will leave you alone. If that's the case, it's probably best not to poke the bear yourself.
If the bear comes sniffing around again, take what action you can to prevent him from interacting with you again.
What he's doing is illegal. If he hasn't already stopped, take steps to stop him yourself. There is no reason on earth you should put up with his creepery, if he persists get adults involved.
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Being nice doesn't always pay off, Especially for certain ass hats that don't want to listen.
Be stern with him, Let him know where he stands and stop beating around the bush. If you want him to stop calling then you tell him. (Stop calling my phone, I am not interested in you) If this doesn't work a second time around guess what If he keeps on calling you save it. Save all the text messages and calls to your phone. As long as you continue to ignore him then he has nothing to use against you when you file a complaint.
Good for you for standing your ground, Nobody should date someone who is demanding and manipulative. You could also try going to your phone company and see if they could block the number from your phone. I believe if they can do this, It might cost you an extra 10 bucks but should be worth it.
I also do agree with KarenR, I wouldn't try to talk it out because it does seem to egg him on, For now I would continue to ignore him. The more you ignore his calls the less and less he will bother you. Sure, He stopped calling then picked up again but if you don't show him any reaction and continue to ignore him then overtime he will get bored and move on.
Remember this one line, "Silence can be the best medicine." If he doesn't stop calling you, Then I would go to the police and file a complaint against him. Again, Make sure you save all calls, voice mails, and text messages.
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Do not try to talk it out. That just seems to egg him on. You really do need to tell your parents. He has threatened you. He is bullying and harassing you. You need to tell the police.
Anyone who is so obsessed that they keep on after being told not to could be a danger to you. Do not reply to his texts or calls. Keep them and show them to your parents. Do not edit or delete the bad ones.
Its true your parents may blow it up and report it. They should. I know you don't want to lose control of the situation but there comes a time when you have to for your own safety and that of your family. DO NOT take this lightly (I think you already know that)tell your parents and help them do something to get it to stop.
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