AskJR's

advice column

about

I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR

advice

alright so my road test is tomorrow and im freaking out im so nervous is there any advice anyone can get me.. so im sure i wont make any mistakes

You're freaking out but sure you won't make any mistakes??????????? That's an oxymoron.

It's normal to be nervous before any kind of test. Chill.

If you have been driving and sure you won't make any mistakes, then you have the inner confidence already.

Tap into that confidence and tell yourself that you can do it easily enough-- piece of cake.

It's all in your head.

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1st, I've been cheerleading for a couple weeks and my friends say I'm pretty good. I can do the motions pretty good but now i want to do a heel stretch but i can it like 1 foot above my waist and can hold onto my foot. Any suggestions or help that will help?

2nd, I want to go into a split but I am short about 6 inches. Any exercises that will make me more flexible?

Thanks in advance!

Actually, Yoga is the best for that.

Google "Yoga" and look at sites that show pictures of the yoga sitting and stretching (meditating not necessary)...

You can sit on the floor and use your hands to lift one leg (holding leg straight out, unbent knees) as far over you head it can go to loosen the hamstrings. Do reps and sets daily and nightly. (Before school and after)

You can stand, bend over keeping legs straight and unbent and put your palms flat on the floor. Do reps and sets.

Stand and hold the back of a heavy chair or sofa, bending one leg at a time in, knee bent, to your upper body, preferrable chin. Then kick leg out back behind you (great for the butt muscles too) straight as far back as it goes. Each rep gets easier and goes farther back.

It's the "hamstrings" you need to stretch and strengthen.

Google "hamstring exercises" too.

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does anybody know any sad slow songs more about like Jesus and how he died??

its for this theology assignment

Try:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_rock_artists

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=christian+rock&defid=2401224

http://christianmusic.about.com/od/modernrockandalternative/Modern_Rock_and_Alternative.htm

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OKay i found some medicine in my moms medicine cabinet in her batghroom. The label says that it is a Metabolic Stimulant and Appitite Repressor. Do they really have medicine that can do that? It is called Lipodrene. Should I take it?
Thanks

Cody*

No, never take your mom's meds or anyone elses.

What is prescribed to her is according to her age, her weight and general health and family medical history and her personal medical history-- NOT YOURS!

You are younger, weigh less, have different medical history and might have medical problems from your paternal side that your mom doesnt, that could hurt you.

What if you are prone to high blood pressure or a heart problem that won't show up until your 30' or later, but are dormant now? Taking something could react to that.

Besides, no one should ever take someone elses prescription-- EVER!

Do you want to risk a heart attack at your age? A stroke?

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15/f
i think that im slowly developing an eating disorder
i find myself afraid of gaining weight
i dont binge and purge
my relationship with food isint the same
im very defencive when people say im anorexic
because i do eat
i just dont have a healthy way of eating without regreting what ive done

im 15/f 5'6" 100lbs.

im not sur if thats healthy of not
im always thinking about ways to lose weight
and today all ive eaten was yogurt

i would hate to one day call myself anorexic

i dont know how to stop this
im not happy with the way i look ...

how can i stop this ...

5'6" and 100lbs, is extremely skinny and under weight for that height.

You have a mental issue with your body image and causing you to see yourself differently than you really are, thus, you are obsessed with eating and have guilty feelings when you do.

You need to talk to someone, a professional. Seek out online groups for eating disorders, anorexia, etc. and join, post, and chat.

Get support through these and find out how others have conquered it and now eat normal.

You should weigh somewhere between 120-128 lbs for your height.

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I'm just wondering if a woman can be an egg donor while she is pregnant? Thanks

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

To get an egg from the uterus, it has to be timed for ovualtion just exactly, so the physcian can capture the recently released egg.

You do not ovulate when pregnant, and your uterus is closed from the baby being inside a placenta (the bag the baby is encased inside of, commonly referred to as the "afterbirth" that comes out after giving birth because it breaks and water releases to go into labor)...

There is absolutely no way in this world you can donate an egg while pregnant. And medical science would not attempt it or allow it.

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ok latly for the past 3 month ive been eating like CRAZY
im really skinney and always ate like a bird
groth spurt mabie?
(btw 13/f)
my freind was trying to scare me (cause im like healthaphobic) that i could have wormy things that eat everyhting
IM PARINIOD BY IT NOW

i know i probly dont have it, but how could i tell if i have them!?
thanx

As far as "worms" go, it would be a tapeworm which is RARE today.

Are there diabetics in your family?

Diabetes causes excessive hunger, weight loss, frequent urination and white around the eyes.

Or, if not, then it's simply a growing spurt.

As long as you are growing, there are times when you don't eat as much during dormant periods, then eat all the time when actually growing. The body adjusts accordingly.

Have you ever gotten on a craving kick for a certain food? The body is telling you it needs something from that particular food, whether it's iron, a particular vitamin it offers, or nutrient.

Don't worry about it unless you show signs of diabetes.

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This is a really weird question,but in the song "Patience" when it's like "sad woman take it slow and things will be just fine"...isn't there another song that sounds exactly like that?I heard the song for the first time today and that specific part sounds so familiar.

Nope.

"Patience" by Guns & Roses is original and they wrote the song in the 80's.

Anything you have heard that "sounds familiar" is a stealing from them, which all musicans steal licks and notes and stuff from other bands, but there is other artist that have done a "remake" with permission from Axel (Guns & Roses) to record it.

It's a classic song and original from 1980's.

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Hey so i am running for student council president for my freshman year in highschool. I need some really funny poster ideas that arent immature and can also be informing. Any ideas from m/f would be appreciated! im 14/f by the way. I want a poster that even teachers will laugh at and that will make people that are still deciding on who to vote for, vote for me. thanks =)

First, as with any politics, what issues and things do you plan to implement and stand for? What does you opponent stand for?

Take any good point and play it up with a twist.

Have you seen the movie, "Man of the Year" with Robin Williams? Watch it and you'll come up with alot.

Take his ideas and run with it!

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im an outgoing, crazy, funny girl....i always help people and show love and care......

over all, people like my personality and like me for it....
i give great advice to people...

except i cant use it on myself....

i really like this guy and the normal outgoing me wouldj ust call someone up and be like HEY WHATS UP!? and talk or whatever but, as an example...lets say you were calling up a celebrity...your favorit one...you would be more concious of what youre saying and more nervous and stuff right

the thing is...i know this kid will love the real me and the outgoing, crazy, "HEY WHATS UP LOSERRR!? WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY!?" self...but i just cant find the guts to call him or talk to him......

i like him and he likes me but i think he gets upset that i dont call him that much then in person i can be all awesome and great...

im not a big phone person....ive always been scared of awkward silences and that im too boring......

i WANNA call him a lot and show him im thinking about him and i care about him but im always nervous hes with friends and ill be tongue twisted in what to say or how to end it if hes with friends or what to talk about ...idk...im a mess

but the funny thing is...i know if i called him and just was myself and how i am with my friends and stuff, hed love it and itd make him feel great that i called and i wanna talk to him and im thinking about him adn stuff.......

i just dont know whats wrong with me....im so nervous and self concious and i have NO gutss what so ever

i just dont know what to do....i feel not worthy or good enough for him....

inside, im that girl that hed love more than anything....i just cant bring it out.......

HELP!

Maybe you're a little insecure and that's why you are so outgoing with friends. You're comfortable with them and can be yourself, but with someone that you want to impress, you revert back to insecurities.

Don't be.

If you can be fun and be yourself, and know you are a loving and caring person as you said, outgoing and crazy, then don't worry about not being that way with him.

You are who you are regardless of who you're interacting with.

It's normal to be insecure, shyer and self-conscious with someone you like in the beginning. Everyone is to some extent.

Try finding topics you have in common to talk about, music and bands, new songs, places, fun stuff, friends, school, anything. Whatever you talk about with your friends is the same with him.

Pick up the phone and call him. Be yourself and crazy. It sounds even better over the phone because you won't come off shy or boring at all.

Just have confidence in yourself as you expressed in this question and you'll be just fine!

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is it ok for meto like a seventeen yearold wen im like 15

Yes, of course it's normal.

Adults have age differences, date, get into relationships, become engaged and get married.

Age makes no difference when you love someone, except the stages of your age can become different as you age.

But 2 years in certainly no difference.

The only thing to be concerned about is your states statatory rape age.

It might be 17 or might be 18. So when he turns 18, your parents can file statatory rape charges against him if you two become in a sexual relationship.

Just keep in mind the minor and legal age dilemma until you are of legal, consenting age.

But 2 years is not a problem and CERTAINLY normal.

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okay i really like this guy but im 15 and he's 17. im not sure if im getting a message or something from him. he's brought me home from school monday and friday (today). and we were talking about serious relationships and how they are hard to find. On out way to my house there was this guy in his car staring at him, and i said "looks like he's checking you out" and he was like nah, i'd much rather a girl check me out. then he was like he was probably checking you out, your the pretty one in this car, or something like that.

i love the conversations we have. like its just, i feel so comfortable around him, around most guys i would have to have all my makeup on or partilly (sp). around him i could care less, and he still talks to me as if everything was still on.

any advicee?

So the question is.... ???

If it's the age difference, it'll be a problem
when he turns 18 and you're only 16-- it's call statutory rape (if you get sexual)

But, in the meantime-- your choice, flirt alittle, allow the friendship to develop as it goes along, see if he flirts back alittle and take it from there.

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okay, this weekend i am planning on giving my boyfriend a handjob. it will be my first time giving and his first time recieving one. i know the basics on how to give one and everything, but i'm more worried about what to do/look while giving him one & what the best postion would be.
thanks in advance

Don't even do it-- you're too young.

It'll be embarassing and humiliating while doing that and after.

Why bother?

Enough said.

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Whenever I have a tampon in I still have leaks! Like all the time.
What am I doing wrong?

And today at dance practice it hurt more than anything. Did I put it in wrong?

If you do not insert it straight, and have it pushed in enough, you will feel it.

Make sure it is inserted deep enough to not feel it in any way.

Use a pantie liner as well. (and a tampon for heavy periods)

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how do i motivate myself? my appetite to overeat seems to outweigh my desire to be skinny. but then after i binge i get so depressed that i'm not skinny.

Motivation?

Go through celebrity magazines, fashion magazines, teen mags, etc.....

....cut out the girls that you adore and want to look like...

Hang them on the refrigerator, hang them in your bedroom everywhere, on your mirrors, in the bathroom, on your bedroom door-- EVERYWHERE...

That's you constant reminder and motivation to be like them!

You'll have second thoughts before stuffing your mouth with a goodie! Fat versus sexy? Your choice.

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Since i failed the 8th grade...im on the waiting list for summer school....do you think someone wont show and ill get it....i cant fail please give me advice im in the 8th grade by the way..is there anyone else out there who failed the 8th grade and turned out okay? I failed because i got into some bad things and i wasnt trying....2 months b4 schools out i try but i failed the exams for the year because i knew nothing about my class
Thanks in advance-A failure

First, it is up to your parents to persue this and help. Not you.

Talk to them about how badly you want to go to summer school and pass.

Summer school is not free, they charge your parents so you can go.

Someone probably won't show up and a slot will be available, but in the meantime, ask your parents to call and plea for you to attend. One extra student is really no big deal for summer school classes.

Or an alternative, another and different summer school at another school district. Summer school is credits and your parents have the power to fight for your rights to attend and further your education. So many parents don't bother, and the ISD will be impressed.

Try a different school for the summer classes and be cool in the meantime.

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k i have a ex boyfriend and were like fighting hardcore. and i hate it, he calls me dirty things and is just rude. but when were going out he is the nicest boii everr i swear, i like him so much!

i noe all of you are going to say just talk to him, tell him houw you feel. or just ignore him and move on. or hes dumb dont waste your time one him.

BUT I CANT HELP IT.
ive liked him ever since august and weve gone out like 5 times this year, but everytime we do break up i like him even more
but this time ive screwed up, ive said to much and he is one of those laid back guys that dont care, so if i do tell him how i feel hell pry just ignore me or laugh.

plz help, if you can!

I have to ask "why" you would like him so much when he can be so very verbally abusive to you? It's emotional abuse too.

Why like a guy that calls you horrible names and belittles you, then changes to "nice?"

Sounds like HE has problems- emotional issues, mental problems, bipolar maybe...

I highly recommend for your own pride and self-esteem, your own sanity and peace of mind, your own happiness and well-being...to walk away-- dump him, kick him to the curb, and run.

There are way to many really nice and great guys out there that will adore you and treat you nice 100% the time and not be off and on!!!

Find one.

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your going to have to work with me here because this gets complicated!!

there is this girl who starting giving out to be yesterday cause she thinks im trying to break up her and her boyfriend? i know the guy pretty well but havent ever siad anything to him that would imply im trying to break them up. i asked him stuff like "why did you like her" but it was out of curiousity and nothing else?

i send the girl a girl message by accident that was meant to go to the boy about how he liked her but i sent it to her and she thought we were talking about a different girl so she went andgot with some other lad.
they got back together but now she thinks i did it all just to break them up
what should i do to clear my name? she is goin around sayin stuff about me and none of it is true

For God's sake, tell her.

Initiate a conversation and tell her the truth about the mix up...

People make mistakes. It's really no biggie and you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Set the facts staight and clear your name. If she continues to gossip, tell the listeners the truth.

Actually, when you think of it, she's the idiot.

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I have had a best friend w benefit and relationship with a guy for 2 and 1/2 years it was fun until about 6 months ago. When I asked what we were and he said we were in a relationship and it turned into one somewhere along the way but he has been distant and not spending time with me anymore. When I told him this he said he needs time to think - and it had nothing to do with me or us. The problem is he is my neighbor and he is involved with my children from a previous marraige. So I still see him everyday! I still want him and still very attractive to him. He has said he hopes to have more with me in the future but does not want to hurt me or make any promises??? I just dont get it! One time he says it is nothing to do with me and the next is he does not want to hurt me! he doubles talks and my kids love him and he is my neighbor and it sucks and hurts. I am so confused - I was so content why did i even ask him that question months ago. I think I freake dhim out?? I am so scared my kids will get hurt worse than me. I know I can move on but my kids dad is not in there lives and I do not want to drag a bunch of men in theres. My kids are my heart and soul and I am not sure what to do.. Yes I am hurting but not sure if I am hurting for me or my kids. Yes I love him and he said he loves me and cares about me a great deal but he is not in love with me but hopes to be one day! I am not even sure I am in love with him. But I love hanging out with him and I love having sex with him! I just hate that we are gone through this and he lives next door!

First of all, it was a convenience of a relationship.

Next door neighbors, handy, huh?

Hear what's being said sweetie... he does not want a serious "relationship" with you...

He wants and wanted, sex.

He got it.

Now, he might have another woman in sight that he likes and is seeing, so he conveniently tells you all that excuse crap, keeping you on the back burner just in case.

Listen to the signs and move on.

Your kids are more resilant than you are. They will get over it in a matter of days....and if they ask about him and you two, tell them that you both are friends but he's busy and can't come over as much as he used to.

They'll accept that more than you can.

Move on. Forget him. He's a user girlie.

P.S. ANSWER TO YOUR PRIVATE QUESTION: It's entirely up to you. But, if you do, confront him about your concerns and get an answer once and for all. As I said, your kids will be okay with this-- it's you that isn't. Don't use them as an excuse to cut this guy loose and move on. All modern kids are growing up in split families today and understand the dating scene with parents, and break ups. It's on tv, it's in their lives, it's real and a fact.

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What is a website where I can watch the second season of te OC for free? Most only have season 1 and 4. thanks

No.

All websites show "clips" of an episode, but not the entire episode, let alone season.

It is on DVD and for sell. They want their money, and are in the business to make money, not give it away for free.

Buy the DVD set.

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