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Friend w benefits or relationship
I have had a best friend w benefit and relationship with a guy for 2 and 1/2 years it was fun until about 6 months ago. When I asked what we were and he said we were in a relationship and it turned into one somewhere along the way but he has been distant and not spending time with me anymore. When I told him this he said he needs time to think - and it had nothing to do with me or us. The problem is he is my neighbor and he is involved with my children from a previous marraige. So I still see him everyday! I still want him and still very attractive to him. He has said he hopes to have more with me in the future but does not want to hurt me or make any promises??? I just dont get it! One time he says it is nothing to do with me and the next is he does not want to hurt me! he doubles talks and my kids love him and he is my neighbor and it sucks and hurts. I am so confused - I was so content why did i even ask him that question months ago. I think I freake dhim out?? I am so scared my kids will get hurt worse than me. I know I can move on but my kids dad is not in there lives and I do not want to drag a bunch of men in theres. My kids are my heart and soul and I am not sure what to do.. Yes I am hurting but not sure if I am hurting for me or my kids. Yes I love him and he said he loves me and cares about me a great deal but he is not in love with me but hopes to be one day! I am not even sure I am in love with him. But I love hanging out with him and I love having sex with him! I just hate that we are gone through this and he lives next door!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all, it was a convenience of a relationship.
Next door neighbors, handy, huh?
Hear what's being said sweetie... he does not want a serious "relationship" with you...
He wants and wanted, sex.
He got it.
Now, he might have another woman in sight that he likes and is seeing, so he conveniently tells you all that excuse crap, keeping you on the back burner just in case.
Listen to the signs and move on.
Your kids are more resilant than you are. They will get over it in a matter of days....and if they ask about him and you two, tell them that you both are friends but he's busy and can't come over as much as he used to.
They'll accept that more than you can.
Move on. Forget him. He's a user girlie.
P.S. ANSWER TO YOUR PRIVATE QUESTION: It's entirely up to you. But, if you do, confront him about your concerns and get an answer once and for all. As I said, your kids will be okay with this-- it's you that isn't. Don't use them as an excuse to cut this guy loose and move on. All modern kids are growing up in split families today and understand the dating scene with parents, and break ups. It's on tv, it's in their lives, it's real and a fact.
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