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Member Since: August 7, 2012
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Last Update: August 2, 2021
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I don't know what i done to deserve anything of this, but i never knew how hard a break up can tear someone apart and destroy their whole system inside. It's been nearly 4 months we ended and i find it so hard to sink it in that the last kiss we ever had was gonna be the last kiss ever.. It's painful to understand whats going on in my life. I feel like i've changed so much during these months, i feel like he changed me inside and out, i try so hard to keep my mind busy and yet i don't know what else to do. I don't even think i could be in another relationship for a very long time, i try hide what i feel from everyone and i feel that iv lost those who are the closest to me by my actions, i keep pushing them away.

I feel like an idiot, like I actually wrote to him saying il be here for him and he ignored me.

I never thought love could hurt this bad, and its sad cause its the first relationship that i ever took serious ...

please try and understand me..
female/18 (link)
Try and get the idea out of your mind that you did anything to deserve it or make it happen. And it's unlikely he did it to deliberately hurt you. Imagine the roles reversed, a guy was crazy about you, really crazy...but for some reason you felt that he just wasn't the one for you at the moment. You'd have to let him know...and he might feel devastated, heartbroken...just like you feel now. So, the decision wasn't yours, but how you react to it is entirely your choice. You sound loyal and loving. You've recognised that another person can bring about a change in us, that loving another person can, and should make us look outside of ourselves. Take your time. Even knowing how much it can hurt, you'll want to try again sometime, I promise. And you'll be a real catch too with those qualities. And maybe you'll get it back too this time, that's what you DO deserve!


there is this girl at my college, she's so hot, red headed, and extremely nice and kind to me,I think I have a crush on her. I see her around and she's also at this math tutoring center which I sometimes go to even if I don't need help. Would it be OK if I secretly took some high quality pictures of her and even video tape her with my Iphone without her knowing so I can have some nice pictures and videos for my own personal satisfaction? Or is it illegal? (link)
Taking photographs or filming in public places is not an offence. Around government buildings (or God forbid Military bases!), you could be made to surrender memory cards or film to police or military personnel under prevention of terrorism acts. Personaly if I'm ever doing street scenes or candids and anyone, just a member of the public, asks me not to I stop unless they're just part of the background in something I do need to shoot. I know what I'd do. Tell her she looks great and ask if she'd let you take some pictures of her. She can only say no...and you haven't lost anything. As long as they're not sexually explicit, and they're for your personal use and not for resale you're on safe ground. If you get some good stuff you might be a future portrait/fashion/glamour man. Looking at a pretty girl and wanting to make great shots of her is more important than the technical know-how, you can learn this. It's 'the eye' that makes the difference.


Whenever my boyfriend and I "Get to it" I always have fun but it's usually short lived, he lasts about 5-7 minutes tops and I'm always left hanging, he tries after with foreplay but it doesn't work because he gets completely uninterested and tired and I want him to be excited. Is there anyway I can get him to last longer? Positions or tips? I got him a ring and it helps a little he lasts about 1-2 minutes longer but nothing substantial. Does anyone know anything that will help?? Please?? (link)
Getting a guy to pleasure you after climax is incredibly difficult. He will feel tired after sex and a blokes sex drive plummets to zero immediately after he comes. Before he has his climax is a different matter, and I'd say this is the point that you should be using all his ardour and desire to make YOU come. Maybe try showing him just how much you're enjoying the extended foreplay, vocally and with some sensual moves? Most guys REALLY enjoy knowing they're pleasuring their partner, so lots of encouragement! Personally I'm not sure trying to extend the actual act of sex to unusually long periods by chemical or mechanical means is very successful. It can end up with a tired and bored bloke and a rather sore lady if you overdo it. Not that sexy or satisfying. But if you're pretty well there already when he starts it could be an exciting and pleasurable seven minute show-stopper!


Okay, so my name is Allison and I am 13/f. Well there is this new guy named James 15/m that just moved to my town. Well me and James have been dating for abot 3 weeks now. And i think he is wanting to have sex. When its just the 2 of us he always makes remarks about how sexy and stuff he thinks I am. But he seems to kinda force me to do things with him like let him finger me, blow jobs, etc. I want to know if I should go through with sex and stuff. Oh, by the way he does drugs and steals and does other things I am not proud of. So, thanks:) (link)
I could say a lot of stuff about reputation, self-respect and right and wrong. But you aren't the first and won't be the last girl to find a 'bad boy' exciting, and cool. It looks deliciously 'dangerous' and grown-up I bet. And he flatters you. And you no doubt think you're the only one who understands him. And you'll change him. If you insist on going through with it, just make sure YOU arrange and he uses effective birth-control. Because once you've had your drama and exitement I can assure you...You won't change him. He won't amount to anything, ever. And his dangerous dude image won't pay your bills. If he even stays around at all. You should consider the fact that girls his own age can already see straight through him.


I want to know how many after morning pills I can take? Me and my boyfriend had unprotcted sex yesterday an I want to take a morning after pill,but iv taken 2 this year? (link)
With one possible exception you are fine. Two in a year is extremely light use. In fact there is no limit to the number of times you can use either of the two available types. They will not become any less effective the more you take, they will not impair your future fertility, or indeed harm your body in any way however often they are used. A slight and brief tiredness, sick feeling or headache are the only side-effects and you probably won't even get these. Take them quickly after unprotected sex (24 hours) and they can be about 95 percent effective, but leaving it longer can nearly halve that, so don't hang about! They can disrupt your periods, but I'll repeat that its not harming your fertility at all long-term. The exception I mentioned is if you are already taking some medication which could/will reduce their effectiveness. If this doesn't apply, you're definitely ok. If you are taking other medication find out from your doctor if there are known or suspected issues. The idea that you can only take one during one menstrual-cycle is nonsense by the way, but commonly believed nonsense! Have to add the standard advice though, they're not really meant to be an alternative to regular contraception. They're not quite as reliable...prevention's better than cure and all that, eh??


Okay, well I liked this guy in one of my classes, so I decided to talk to him first. I eventually gave him my cell phone number, which he actually texted me back, I was shocked. Things were going pretty great, we would text for hours at a time. Every day after class he would wait for me, we would walk to our next class together, he walked close to me, the body language was good (I know body language pretty well). We worked together in class, he would wave, and act shy and dorky around me even. A girl in our class would nudge him, grin, and joke about us when we would talk to each other, he even turned red. I was pretty sure he liked me, but then again I really don't have any good traits, I'm not pretty either, so I figured he probably didn't like me. My friend told him I liked him, he started acting weird, I asked if he was okay, he said he didn't feel good. For the first time he walked right past me, we have ALWAYS walked to class together. Plus he doesn't even really talk to anyone else in the school except me and a few others. I caught up with him, and asked if one of my friends told him anything today, he lied and said no, then I told him that I knew one did. Then he lied again, and said they just asked him if he knew me. He said he didn't mean to be rude, he just didn't feel well. Then he hugged me, which I didn't even hug back because to be honest I was pissed off (the lies) and depressed (....... obvious.......). Everyone around us said it seemed like he liked me, and stupid me I really thought he did. I used my friend's phone to tell him the I liked him, but I didn't want it to hurt our friendship. Later he wrote back, "It won't, but I only see you as a friend, sorry..."

We had alot in common, and I really liked him....... I'm absolutely heartbroken to say the least. I can't stop crying, and I didn't go to school today because I didn't want to burst out crying in class seeing him. I know it was bad, but to be honest I only stayed in that class because I actually thought he liked me, and that was the only time I ever see him in the school. Now I have to see him everyday. My mom thinks he might like me, but is scared because I don't think he has ever dated.

My self esteem was horrible before, now I just feel horrible....... why doesn't anyone like me except these people who absolutely disgust me or creep me out? Am I really that awful?


Please help, any advice, anything will help. :'[ (link)
Well, it's a knockback. It feels crap. But really not a humiliation by any means. We latch on to someone, put in the goundwork, observe, feel our way. Eventually it's going to come down to that decisive yes/no moment. You play your cards and hope for the best. It didn't work this time. There will be many others. Even when it 'clicks' that's just the start of the journey! It's so easy to beat yourself up. You're a bad/unlikeable person. You're not pretty enough. Really though, it's not about YOU at all is it...it's about him? You've done your bit. He's missed his chance. Of course, he may have just lost his nerve. About you. About comitting to a relationship at all, with any girl. He may even think again. Either way, you've NOTHING to feel humiliated about. Just a little sad...it will pass. I won't insult you with a 'plenty more fish in the sea' comment. Because right now you don't want no 'other fish' do you? Just that particular fish? This feeling too will pass. XX


M/17.
I'm a senior in HS. I've been getting really confused and annoyed lately. I'm starting to really hate school. It's becoming somewhat of a blackmail already. I'm tired of being forced to do all this work that I really don't want to do, and I'm tired of everybody thinking they know everything. And everyone's advice contradicts. EVERYONE is bugging me about college, except for my parents(ironic) The last 2 days, I've even had substitute teachers giving me suggestions and advice about college/applying. About a million lectures about it. My friends say I'm slacking and I it seems like everyone is done with their essays and stuff. I have barely started a list. I hate how everything I want to do is wrong or stupid. I want to go to college. But it seems like whatever my choice is, it will be stupid and wrong because everyone knows everything and can predict the future. If I don't go, I'm a "failure" and I'll "never make money", if I do go, my college "isn't good enough" or "I'll never get a job unless the college is a prestigious one" One person will suggest something, then another will say it's complete bull. On top of all this, I'm trying to recover from a porn and video game addiction that went on for years. This is my longest run without them. Sometimes I feel great and then I'll just have a major mood swing. And now I have family talking to me as if not dong the college stuff quick enough is a disgusting felony. This senior year is also by far the worst year so far, and I don't mean academically (yet)It's been so dry and bland and no fun, and a lot of people I met freshman year have turned into d-bags. Some friends disappeared, some changed, some girls that were nice and friendly are now arrogant and conceited. I want to d well academically, I want to get into a 4 year college, but I also want to just do what I feel like doing for once, I never have time for what I want to do because of school. And then of course people will say that I don't appreciate things and say stuff about how some people can't go to school. School IS like blackmail, if you don't do what they tell you to do, they ruin your reputation, with stupid numbers that don't prove anything about me. I was always told that school is a place for learning, so why is it that one can learn what is taught and pass a test which proves it, but be called a stupid failure according to their "numerical image"? Oh yeah, I learned x, y, and z, but this report card defines me as a horrible person who didn't. And horrible grades is a felony. get out of my face already. (link)
Hi. Thought just a little observation might throw some light. Compared to the duration of your life the further education years are few. In a way I still don't understand a year of school/college/university seemed long. As you get older they somehow fly past. You won't really believe it, I didn't but you'll find its true. Might be an idea to just think 'bite the bullet' and get on with it. If its a consolation I found university lecturers treat you much more like an adult. There's no doubt loads of stuff you want to do, but trust me. You can do most of it and still be a decent student. And what you don't do will keep. You'll spend a huge percentage of your waking adult life at work of some kind. Better to make it something you like with a bit of graft now. Luck is a fickle bedfellow, so best not rely on that to carry you through.


okay so i know this is stupid of me to ask but i feel like when i ask people i know i don't get an honest answer. im 5'2 i have light blonde hair that ends right at my boobs its usually curled or in beach waves im a 34DD in a bra i have light blue eyes i usually half to get like a size 8 in dresses since my boobs are so big and have the dress made smaller in the waist i definitely have curves and a butt my waist is smaller and i have big thighs i get really nervous and awkward when i half to get in a bathing suit because i have 2 scars on my stomach. i get told im pretty all the time but i just can't bring myself to believe it i also hate going places because i feel like everywhere i go im being judged (link)
From the description you sound a bit of a BABE. Curves are in, the super-skinny and pale 'heroin-chic' look's so yesterday (I always thought it was in poor taste anyway). Don't worry. You don't mention age. Teens? Feeling like everyone's looking at you and judging you is part of the kit, it feels less intense as you get older. Already a bit older? Sort out the self-esteem, that has the same effect, that is 'everyone's watching me, looking to fault me'. A petite, long haired, tiny waisted, busty young lady shouldn't really have too many self-image worries! Couple of scars...well you're concious of them. Tell you what...it wouldn't worry me, or any other bloke either. What a blokee finds pretty/attractive/sexy is the sort of 'complete package'. The overall effect if you like. Plenty of girls would love to be able to describe themselves like you just have.


I had an affair with a male colleague and he broke it off.

I found out recently that he tried to resign from his job to get away from me, but our employer thought he was too valuable to the business.
When he was asked why he wanted to leave, he confessed that he had had an affair with me, and he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

The employer talked with a lawyer, and reduced my hours so that I was never on the premises at the same time as him.

I was obviously less valued that he was.

I didn't realize this at the time, and continued with my reduced hours until an annual appraisal, where I was basically told I was crap at what I did, and I didn't do a whole lot.

I willingly left the job, only to find out just now, that everyone knew what had happened, and that they all hated me, and were making work unbearable for me until I gave in and quit.

(link)
An eloquent and informed answer there from adviceman. I'd take it. I'm a total legal duffer, but your tale makes me spitting mad. If there's a chance of getting back I'd give it a go.


So I'm in a bit of an unusual situation. I'm 26 years old and am still a virgin. It's not for any moral or religious reasons, it's just that I've always been highly independent as well as very introverted and those two kinda mix to result in me, a fairly attractive woman who has never had sex.

For a while I thought something was up with me like maybe I was gay or something and just didn't wanna be. But lately all I can think about is sex! I feel like a teenage boy or something. The upside to this is that I'm def. not gay! (no offense to gay people). I find myself checking men out more than I ever have before. Maybe I'm just a late bloomer or something? I dunno.

Is this normal??? (link)
Quite normal. At puberty about a million years of genetic programming will make a girls body and mind pretty well scream out 'Hey! I'm in breeding-condition now. I wanna go out and breed!' Hence all the advisors on this site trying to answer the 'I am 13 and I need sex....' questions, and tactfully trying to tell them to wait a bit...we're not cavemen any more! This drive can force itself to the front of our attention at any time in our lives and there's not a lot we can do about it. If you've been very selective so far, I'd imagine you won't be driven to jump under the nearest bloke now you're an adult with a fully developed character so don't worry. If you're in any doubt as to the power of evolutionary wiring look out one Prof. Richard Dawkins. 'The Selfish Gene' in particular. An incredible work by a lifelong 'hero' of mine.


Why is the disease small pox call that and not the large pox or big pox? (link)
Nerd-answer coming up, that I just happen to remember from school. It was termed smallpox many years ago, 'The Great Pox' was the sexually transmitted disease we call syphilis, which is something very different. Might have two letter L's actually, but hey! Can't expect me to remember EVERYTHING including the spelling!


My girlfriend can be surprisingly laid back at times and strangely overly anxious at others. She was afraid that her kidneys were failing last month when it was a much less serious problem, she worried that she had a brain tumor once when simply because of a headache, and she thought she was having a stroke last summer because he arm had fallen asleep and was tingling. Now, she's freaking out because some idiot on an internet site I warned her not to go to claimed that he was going to release a virus in the US that would wipe out the entire population, which is ridiculous, right? I told her that he's just a crazyass who probably didn't mean it and have tried to come up with other reasons it won't happen, but she won't calm down. Please help me. What do I say to her to get her to quit worrying about this stuff? (link)
I think you might find it difficult to reason her out of this level of anxiety with anything you say regarding the particlar events themselves. I'd say there MUST be an underlying root cause. Recent, or long past in childhood, maybe only subconciously remembered now, the actual cause of association forgotten. But it must have been significant. A recent trauma could create this sort of 'victim mentality' for instance, seeing threats everywhere. A therapist should be able to drag it out into the open so she can confront it and come to terms with it. In itself, the anxiety isn't life-threatening of course, but it will lead to many missed opportunities for personal and career development and advancement. The irrational fears will simply 'hold her back' time and time again until she can identify and compensate for this tendency. There seem to be a lot of fears about health and illness. Anything you know of in her past that could account for that? You might draw it out of her yourself with time and patience, but a 'pro' would be a better proposition. Simply saying 'stop worrying' is clearly not enough as you've discovered.


My boyfriend and I have had sex more than once but I never orgasm what should I do to orgasm so he will feel like he's good and I will feel better after having sex. 14/f (link)
I'm not dismissing lightly something that has clearly bothered you enough to seek advice about. But listen, you're only real 'problem' here is slightly unrealistic expectations. I assume, and indeed hope that you're boyfriend isn't a very good bit older than you. So you can't really expect him to have the knowledge, experience, patience and restraint to bring you off just yet. Especially as something that will just 'happen' during the penetrative part of sex. Also, friends of a similar age telling you about their orgasmic exploits may simply be mistaking little 'peaks' of pleasure during sex for orgasms. And you're thinking 'Hey! Why aren't I coming??' Try not to get fixated on finding a written guide to orgasms, get to know your boyfriend and teach him about you. Step at a time mate, it'll come in time. You're well 'ahead of the pace' anyway, age-wise. So don't worry yet!


Is it normal for a 45 year old same sex female friend to want to share a bed and spoon? I am not sure if I am missing signals or reading more into the situation. Do friends climb into bed with you and then drape their legs over yours wearing just underwear and tell you if you were a man I would marry you? I don't know what to think here. (link)
I've got a couple of female mates of 23 and 25. (I'm a fair bit older and male by the way.) They're always cuddling up together in bed in pj's or undies and watching movies, chatting, eating hot toast etc. One (the closer and older friend of the two) quite often jokes about her mate being her 'husband' as it happens and says why can't blokes be like that? They're both very feminine, very attractive and like guys (which is certainly reciprocated too...kind of wish I was younger!) Now neither consider themselves gay or even bisexual, I know this for sure, we talk a lot and no subject is off-limits. Don't know what feelings you two have, but I can say in at least one case it doesn't worry the women involved one bit. Neither are considering it a lifestyle choice in preference to a male-female relationship and children when they're ready. Hope this might help.


I need you guys to help me.I have a boyfriend who I love very much;he's my baby and the reason I'm happy everyday. Then,why do I feel attracted to other men as well?Since me and my boyfriend have very good sex.Last week,I was at my best friend's house and when he approached me to hug me,I felt sexually aroused when he pressed his body against mine:( This isn't correct.I know it,but I just don't know how to make it stop.Help?Thanks!! (link)
Hi there. Its not so much a question of 'correct' as 'inevitable'. If you press your body against a male and he doesn't actually disgust you in some way the pangs of sexual arousal easily kick-in without discretion. (Unless its a blood-relative, where some evolutionary interlock seems to come into play and prevent it normally. Assume it kept us from undesirable 'in-breeding' in the past??) Remember the old saying. "You can get your appetite up when your out...as long as you come home to eat." Then your relationship will be fine.


Hey,I got your advice on a question,and i tried it.I didn't sit with him,but i sat at a table across from his,and when he would glance at me,i would look at him,and smile,and he smiled back.
I mirrored him like you said.
That got me good results.
He came over to the table I was sitting,and talked to my brother who I was sitting right next to.He came over there,and stood right on side of me while talking to my brother.
He did that twice.
Then when lunch was over,I was walking to my class with my bestfriend.
When Jose (the guy i like) and his bestfriend Malik,was walking behind me.
WHen I felt someone pull my bookbag,and I turned around and it was him.
I turned back around and finished talking to my friend.But Jose wouldn't stop messing with me.
He kept kicking my bookbag which I honestly hated,and thought was disrespectful,but didn't say that.
WHen I told him to stop,he didn't.
Then he started walking beside me all the way to my class.
And I noticed he kept looking at me all the way there.
But,a day later,he ignored me again,like he used to.He didn't say anything to me at all.
To me,this is really confusing for me,because he's sending me mixed signals.
Does he like me or not?And what does this mean? (link)
Hi. You must be Jazz. It's sound. You're pushing buttons and getting responses. Well played! Human emotions are very complex. He's unsure too, he's sounding YOU out too remember, looking for that sign, 'she'll accept me.' Bit like boxers getting the measure of each other in the first few rounds with a few tentative jabs. Keep putting out the positive vibes in the ways we talked about, spot the opportunities and grab them. Sounds like he had a go and feels it missed the mark...so he's gone back in his shell a bit and trying to ignore you. Keep going Jazz! If he just dropped in your lap you probably wouldn't want him. He'd just be another flirt right? You'll get there! CJB xx


Hey there(: I'm 15/f and I was wondering if there was anyway possible that you could somehow get pregnant by giving someone a handjob (link)
There seems to be a conflict of opinion here. It is of course sperm which are alive in semen (which is the fluid) and its unwise to consider a dollop of warm, fresh semen as 'safe' just because its been in the air. You have to deliberately insert it inside your vagina though, and while it's fresh. It's how you inseminate racehorses when breeding. So mind where you put your fingers right after a handjob! If the stuff is only wiped away with a tissue or something your fine. Sperm can't exist in just fresh air, certainly. They kind of swim, in semen. Like little tadpoles.


13 female cutter bullied and sick of life.what to do tried suicide twice and imtired of all the doctors phyc iatrists all the shit from people dont beleive in god so no heaven for me best option?i think so.How should i go?1st time slit wristssecond time slit wrists got into bath tooklots of painkillers (link)
I suppose some inspirational and ever-hopeful words would be a waste of time for a world-weary cynic like you eh? Heard something once, from the most cynical, chain-smoking, big-drinking, horse-racing, card-playing and totally un-godly man I ever knew.
My old mate DW. A little rhyme. I was beating myself-up about being, shall we say 'crossed in love' at the time. He said "Life's a bitch with it's twists and turns. As every one of us sometimes learns. But many a gambler's turned about...who might have won if he'd stuck it out." The old dog's got a point I reckon. So why not stick it out?? You're no loser if you get beat, you're only a loser if you quit. Don't press your luck with a third attempt!


Okay, so my name is Allison &' I'm f/14. So, my guy friend James is 15 and we both really like each other. Except that I know that he really wants to have sex.... I want to know if its wrong that he fingers me &' we get a little more intimate. I honestly think that I love him &' I think he loves me too. (link)
Hi there Allison. By 'know he really wants to have sex' I assume you mean he's becoming aroused and having an erection? Well, if we're with a girl we're really keen on there's nothing us guys can do to STOP that happening mate! As long as he's not pestering, bullying or in any way pressuring you into having sex before you're ready you're doing ok. Fingering, and you returning the pleasure for him at your age couldn't be described as wrong by any means, especially when you've got a sound connection. You'll learn about each other's reponses, likes and dislikes and of course it'll deal with those strong sexual urges you're having for each other, and in a safe way. It should of course be very enjoyable too, for both of you. I really would advise that you don't rush into full sex yet. Apart from the physical implications (mainly, the possibility of unwanted pregnancy), it will have some strong emotional side-effects which at your age you probably won't be ready for, as much as you love him. Relax, enjoy yourself, enjoy each other. But don't try and live your whole life in one day. The majority of girls don't 'go all the way' for quite a while yet.


Hi,I'm Jazz and i'm 14/f.
I have a crush on my brothers friend Jose,who's almost sixteen.
I think he likes me,because of the way I act,but I'm not sure.
Well,I always catch him staring at me.No matter if I'm all the way across the room,or right next to him.Once he's noticed I caught him,he looks away.
When I sat at the table at lunch with my brother,I was about to sit down farther down the table,but Jose moved over,so I could sit next to him,while my brother was on the other side.But the wierd thing was,once I sat there,he was quite until I left.But he would still stare at me.
And friday I was talking to his and my friend Shawn,and Jose was walking in front of me and Shawn,and at first he turned around and looked at me.Then he mentioned something about SHawn that was way off topic,just to talk to me.
Is he really crushing on me,or is is all in my head?
And if he is,since I like him too,what should I do?
And lastly,how can I get him to admit he likes me? (link)
Hi Jazz. Well, traditionally it's up to us guys to make the first move. I honestly think that however much the sexes become equal, it'll always be that way...and quite right. I'd say he likes you. What holds him back can be summed-up in a sentence. Fear of rejection. In your teens it's your worst nightmare (and between you and me, it doesn't get THAT much easier to handle as a guy gets older either!) Now you don't want to appear 'forward' or predatory...quite right. So this sort of stalemate occurs...and it feeds on itself and grows and grows. And golden opprtunities pass you by. But I can see you've got your heart set on the lucky lad. Want some tips eh? When you're sitting close, angle you body towards him, cross your legs towards him, not away from him. When you speak lean a little towards him. Use 'body language'. You've got to get a conversation going. Find out what he likes...cars...favourite band? Find out a bit about it too and make that your subject. We tend to 'mirror' the other person when we speak to them. When you start to speak look him full in the eye and smile full-on. Mirroring means he'll tend to smile back. If he likes you, which I feel sure he does he WILL smile back for sure. Try to speak slowly and calmly and low, don't let your voice get too fast or shrill. Cool and calm is sexy in a girl, shrieking will tend to make him recoil or 'jump back' a bit. When the conversation pauses, keep that full eye-contact up...for just a little bit 'too long' in the silence, if you get my drift. If you're sitting close enough, watch the speed he breathes at, and get in step with it. Deliberately mirror his moves at first, if he drops one shoulder for instance while you're chatting, drop yours. After a while you'll be doing it naturally, without thinking, but deliberately get it going from the start. Reinforce your answers. Nod with a yes, shake your head with a no. 'That's exactly how I feel'. is a win-win answer when he gives an opinion on something. YOU decide when the meeting is over, get in first and make as if you're leaving. That'll make him act to try and keep you there. He'll ask you out when he feels there's a chance you'll accept basically. There you go, a fair bagful of subtle 'secret weapons' I wish I'd known at your age. Have fun!




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