about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


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Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

Well my boyfriend and myself have been going together for three months next week. Known each other for years so I'm pretty comfortable around him. There is zero amount of nervousness between us. We've done sexual things with each other and before each other. I've touched a penis before BUT I have never given a handjob. Can someone give me some advice and how to's?? Please and thank you.

Unfortunately for you, we are not allowed to give out this type of advice.

Search google for "how to give a handjob", and you'll find something that will tell you.

Sorry.

--Jack
(17/m)

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O know this really stupid, but I don't know how to give a handjob! help!!

We're not allowed to give this type of explicit advice. I'm really sorry.

Search google for "how to give a handjob" I guess.

--Jack
(17/m)

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So...this is kind of random.
You don't have to answer this if you don't want to.
But I'm doing a project on the German Revolution and its so confusing. I read everything I could posible find but I still don't understand who the different people are because I don't understand what their different political parties are.

What's the different between left-wing and right-wing?

Friedrich Ebert
Rosa Luxembourg
Karl Liebknecht
Kurt Eisner
Philip Scheidemann
^those are the main people I can’t figure out.

I don’t really know what I’m asking…I guess if you have time (!!!) and feel like finding a site on the German Revolution (please don’t send me one. I will definitelyyyy have seen it before) then tell me who goes under which party and WHAT THE HECK each party wants/does. =D

ps. youre cute.


Thanks for inboxing.

Unfortunately, I know NOTHING about the 20th century Germany.

Sorry =/.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I'm 14,i jus turned 14 actually and at school im basically the biggest slut ever,but ive been trying to change that,well ever since i found out im pregnant.i used protection.i was on the pill,but i guess somehow i got pregnant but the worst part is i dont know who the father is and honestly it could be like 10 guys.no joke.im tryin to determine if i should just get an abortion and not tell my parents or tell them then get an abortion or tell them and have it or just have and dont tell them till its ready to come out!its such a difficult decision and lately my mom has been getting mad at me cause ive been eating so much food.please someone help me!

I don't have anything to add that is new, after reading what other people said.

But, I just wanted to let you know another opinion.

Please, please, please TELL your parents. And don't get an abortion.

Yeah, that's about it.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Okay I have been told over and over again that boys like the chase. So I know that this boy likes me but I don't know any techniques that create a chase... How do I make him chase me, like specific things I can do.

PS I am 13/F and he is 14/M so please take this into account with examples.

Actually, I don't advise you make him "chase" you. In fact, as a guy, I can say that it's VERY annoying.

Just be up front with him. If he's non-responsive, he's probably not interested.

Like someone else said, if he isn't already after you, maybe he doesn't like you.

--Jack
(17/m)

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hi am 13 am a boy and i have problem running,i quickly get out of breath please write

You might have asthma. But, probably not.

Start of exercising slow and not pushing yourself too much. Work your way up. Increase your exercise twice a week or so.

Soon you'll be able to run with ease ;].

--Jack
(17/m)

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I haven't had my period in about 5 months. I'm 18 & first got my period when i was 13. It's always been irregular, but I've never gone more than 2 months without it. I'm not stressed or underweight/overweight, and I'm still eating and exercising the same as usual. I'm not on birth control... I'm sexually active, but I'm definitely not pregnant. I tried making a gyno appt. but nothing is available til may.

are there any other explanations? is this a serious problem? can i wait til may to get it checked out or should i go to my primary physician?

Hmm. You say you're sexually active. How do you know for sure you're not pregnant? Unless you've taken a test and it's come out negative, you don't know for sure. And even then, there have been women [rarely] who have gotten their period, but were still pregnant. Though that's really unlikely.

For now, I would just go to your regular physician. It's better than nothing.

--Jack
(17/m)

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15f boyfriend is 16 and we have not had sex, just kissed. Lately I have been having this sudden urge to give him a handjob, sounds weird because im not the one being pleased. He hasnt asked for one or even mentioned it, but i have been thinking about it a lot and i dont know why.

If your question is "Should I do it?", my answer is no.

If you even have to question if you're ready, you're not.

Starting a sexual relationship with someone is a big deal, and you shouldn't go into it being faint of heart. Once you're ready, you'll know it, because the guy will be someone you believe you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

Why do I say this? Because I'm fully against sex before marriage. And I bet if you do this, in five years you aren't going to be with this guy, and you'll regret ever doing it. So if you're going to do it, make sure it's what you want to do.

--Jack
(17/m)

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It's kinda long,so read only if you're patient.
After a little while me and my bf are back together.I have really strong feelings for him but I can't handle our relationship so well now.He used to be so good to me,spent all of his free time by my side,he swore to love me with all his heart,we were so happy together.I felt as if I could give up my life for him...Then he dumped me because of his emotional problems.He told me he just used me all the time(8 months)and stuff like that and he was totally out of his mind,I don't know what exactly caused that crisis...I can't put into words how much I suffered when he did so.Even though I still loved him,there was also this feeling of hate inside my heart.I slowly started getting over him,and losing hope I'd ever have him back.
Then,all of a sudden,he begged me to come back to him and after considering it carefully,I did.I met him a few days ago.He's completely changed.It's like I don't know him anymore.Well,our date was kinda great.Even though he says he still loves me,I find it so hard to believe after what just happened.Today,when I messaged him and asked him to meet,he freaked out on me.He was really rude and not understanding.He told me that I'm too clingy and that I don't let him live his life.I freaked out even more and I was like wtf are you talking about?Does anyone have any idea why he is acting so weird?I've done nothing wrong to him,so I really don't understand him.Please advise and thanks in advance.

I'll make this quick.


You deserve someone better. There are plenty of guys out there who won't be a complete jerk to you like this guy has been.

I think the only reason he was begging you to get back with him is because he just likes the idea of having a girlfriend. He doesn't sound like he really cares for you.

Find someone who will treat you with respect.

--Jack
(17/m)

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okay so i tried to figure this out myself i did ALOT of research but im just confused. i gave my boyfriend head and i have a cold sore. what are the chances that he'll get anything? Also. have any of you ever given somebody head while havin a cold sore? what happened?

Cold sores are a form of Herpes.

Yes, they can transfer to the genitals if they come into contact with the herpes on the mouth.

The chances are actually a lot higher than you would think that he'll end up with herpes.

Unfortunately, this wasn't very smart of you. The herpes on your mouth isn't harmful like the genital herpes.

Next time, use a condom.

And tell your boyfriend to get it checked out immediately.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I have a huge fear of bugs and anything gross really, like bats or rats. Mainly just bugs, because people come in contact with those more often. Whenever a bug is around me and i can see it, or it touches me, etc.. my breathing gets heavier, my heart starts pounding faster, my eyes get watery, because im about to cry, i have this empty sunken feeling in my stomach,then i start feelings nauscious, i feel like im just about to die because im so afraid, and i start breathing so fast its like im hyperventilating. Is this like a anxiety or panic attack? or just a big fear? Is there anything I can do to not have such a big reaction? While i am in school bugs dont come around often but if there was to i wouldnt want to make a big scene and embarass myself.

I can't really diagnose anxiety or panic attacks, but I also have a fear of bugs and bees and whatnot.

But I know when I see one, usually a bee, I get goosebumps all over and then I usually run away. I wouldn't call that a panic attack, rather, I would call it my body's natural fight v. flight complex.

Maybe get a doctor to check it out.

But I would say that it's just your body being afraid.

--Jack
(17/m)

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i like this boy name JOE he soooo cute, funny, smart, but he already has a girl freind and i want to tell him how i feel but without making him feel weird.

Trust me, I've been in your place, except the genders were switched, and it didn't end well.

I suggest you don't tell him until he's out of the relationship. It will just make things awkward.

--Jack
(17/m)

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ok if a girl has sex for tha first time, but doesnt get pregnant, can her next period still be a little off or a few days early or late?

A teenage girl's period is hardly regular.

It's just the natural order of things.

I guess as long as she gets her period, everything is fine.

--Jack
(17/m)

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What does it mean when someone responds to something you say by saying, "Word."?

I look at it as the ghetto way to say "Yeah, I concur/agree!"


Personally I prefer the latter. =]

--Jack
(17/m)

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I've got two girls after me and I need help deciding. For reference, I'm moving in 4 months which complicates things.

Girl #1, lives in current town. Has very similar personality, but not a similar lifestyle (not a partier and don't have too many activities in common). Easy to talk to and could be "the one." Somewhat dating her now.

Girl #2, lives in town I move to in 4 months, someone I have fun with, she's super gorgeous though so not sure if I have a longterm chance (although she likes me now). Has very similar lifestyle, but different personalities. I've also had a crush on this girl for like 4 months.

Everybody tells me to go with my heart, but I'm so confused on what to do. Both would be a lot of work to keep the relationship going (#1 would require long distance, #2 is a little high maintenance).

I haven't really had a real relationship in forever, so I really want to make one of these work. There are some things that bother me about girl #1 (political views, a little too nerdy) and #2 (a little too wild for me, crazy past and family).

If I start a relationship with #1 just as a spring fling, I know #2 would be hurt. But what happens if I don't do anything with #1, and then move to #2's town and nothing happens? I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

I have to agree with the first person who answered; you don't HAVE to date either of them. It's not as if your life depends on it ;]. But I definitely understand the desire to have a girlfriend.

How old are you? I don't think you said. If you're 13-17, then I would suggest that you don't rush into anything with either of them. Why? Well nothing has to be DEFINITE as a teenager. Just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you can't hang out with someone else and have fun with someone else; obviously there would need to be limits, but a teenage relationship isn't a marriage. Just remember that.

If you're 18-20, I would go for the girl who seems like she's right for you at this time. You said that you don't think you have a long-term chance with girl number two. So why pursue it? Plus, she's "a little too wild" for you, she's got a crazy past which seems to irk you, and you have different personalities. While opposites do attract, maybe this girl isn't right for you.

I'd say if you're over 20, you should definitely go for girl number one, since by now you should be looking for someone whom you'll want to spend your life with, if that's what you want. You said she could be "the one", which is something you didn't say about number two.


I guess no matter your age, you make it sound like you would rather be with girl number one; so, try it out.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I heard that people take a concoction of drink and drugs to commit suicide, any ideas as to best 'mix'?
Don't waste yout time and mine saying stuff like 'think about people who care' knowone does! from the day my brother used to spit at me accross the bedroom when we were growing up, to todays vain, bitching two faced slags. And if you give me any religious crap, maybe i'll take you with me.

I've found the best mix is a mix of friends, family, and other things that you enjoy.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Just remember that.

--Jack
(17/m)

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That my friend was taking naked pictures of herself. And im superr worried because i had NO idea she would do thiss. but i know because she sent it to a guy, and then the guy sent it to me. And i saw her face and everythingg..and i still havent told her because i dont think i should. But do you think i should talk to her about this? Or just leave it alonee?

Let her know.

And, though it won't totally get rid of it from your phone, delete the picture.

Most people don't know that if you are found to have received and looked at the picture, YOU can also get in SERIOUS trouble.

--Jack
(17/m)

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my boyfriend lives in another state then I, his friends and family because of college. he is turning 21 soon and I want to go ALL OUT for him! I want it to be very memorable!!! I'm thinking of myspacing or calling his CLOSE friends and asking them to come down on that day. I also want to have a party for him. the best party anyone can throw. his apartment (shared with 3 roommates) is where it would be. I don't want him knowing that I am throwing him a HUGE party either! Please Please help!!! Thank you soooo much!

Your ideas sound good. I don't really know anything about party planning. Sorry. =/

--Jack
(17/m)

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15/f (sorry this is so long)

i have a best friend and hes a guy and we share a locker at school and have been really close and talk about every single night and can tell each other anything.. but one night we hooked up and we had a really long talk about us and he said he kind of liked me and i said the same back and we both agreed we didnt want to screw up our friendship but that we could try to make things work between us and see where it goes as long as we dont ruin our friendship .. but then he said no hard feelings if it doesnt go anywhere and i was stupid and agreed to that at the time bc it was easier said then done. and about a month later after we hooked up he has been acting strange and ive noticed he has been talking to other girls and txting them and stuff and for like a week we didnt talk at night which is so not like us so i felt like something was wrong .. and our school has this formal dance coming up that i asked him to and all our friends said he really wanted to go with me so i asked him and he said yes but then that week that it was time to buy tickets for the dance the week before was the week we hadnt been talking and then one night he got mad at me over our table arrangements at the dance and then said we shouldnt go together anymore and i was really upset and talked to him in school the next day about it and he said he didnt want to go with me bc he didnt like me and feel the same way and he didnt want to hurt me incase we go together and i start liking him more and he doesnt and he said the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me but EVERYBODY has been saying we should go out and that were cute together and he has been kind of getting mad about that and i just felt so upset bc i thought everything was good and i thought it was out of the blue that he didnt like me anymore ... were still going to go to the dance together as friends but i dont know what to do.. after that should i move on? and what if he starts to like me again do i have to say no to him and do the same thing he did to me so i dont get hurt again? and were best friends so i dont know how to go about this.

thanks soo much if you can help its appreciated =)

Don't do what he did to you. Think of how you felt when he did that to you. Not good, right?

So stop the drama tag game you're playing, and be mature. Talk your feelings out with him and see where you stand.

Remember, relationships aren't always the answer.

--Jack
(17/m)

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My dad and grandma and everyone on my dads side of the family was Catholic my grandpa went to a Catholic college my mom is not Catholic and because of that my dad stopped going to church so my family no longer believes or practices that religion i want to know what being Catholic consist of what are the beliefs what is it all about i want to understand what my grandparents believe in
Thanks

I'm Catholic, too.

Basically the beliefs are that you should attend mass at least once a week to receive communion [the body and blood of Christ].

Really that's what sets Catholicism apart from the rest of Christianity. Most of the other sects of Christianity don't practice that, though Baptists do on occasion.

--Jack
(17/m)

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