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Which girl should I choose?
I've got two girls after me and I need help deciding. For reference, I'm moving in 4 months which complicates things.
Girl #1, lives in current town. Has very similar personality, but not a similar lifestyle (not a partier and don't have too many activities in common). Easy to talk to and could be "the one." Somewhat dating her now.
Girl #2, lives in town I move to in 4 months, someone I have fun with, she's super gorgeous though so not sure if I have a longterm chance (although she likes me now). Has very similar lifestyle, but different personalities. I've also had a crush on this girl for like 4 months.
Everybody tells me to go with my heart, but I'm so confused on what to do. Both would be a lot of work to keep the relationship going (#1 would require long distance, #2 is a little high maintenance).
I haven't really had a real relationship in forever, so I really want to make one of these work. There are some things that bother me about girl #1 (political views, a little too nerdy) and #2 (a little too wild for me, crazy past and family).
If I start a relationship with #1 just as a spring fling, I know #2 would be hurt. But what happens if I don't do anything with #1, and then move to #2's town and nothing happens? I'll regret that for the rest of my life.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i dont' think that you should go out with someone just for the heck of it. or becuase you havn't had any relationnships in a while. i acgreee with you're friends and i think that you should follow you're heart. if you end up going out with girl #2 if she's too wild than she might get you into trouble (you know beer, crashing parties, etc.) but i would go with #2 because long distance relationships are soooo hard to keep. and going out with #1 would hurt #2 and it would be harder to say goodbye if you get into a good and ongoing relationship. and if you like someone i think that you should go for it!
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I have to agree with the first person who answered; you don't HAVE to date either of them. It's not as if your life depends on it ;]. But I definitely understand the desire to have a girlfriend.
How old are you? I don't think you said. If you're 13-17, then I would suggest that you don't rush into anything with either of them. Why? Well nothing has to be DEFINITE as a teenager. Just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you can't hang out with someone else and have fun with someone else; obviously there would need to be limits, but a teenage relationship isn't a marriage. Just remember that.
If you're 18-20, I would go for the girl who seems like she's right for you at this time. You said that you don't think you have a long-term chance with girl number two. So why pursue it? Plus, she's "a little too wild" for you, she's got a crazy past which seems to irk you, and you have different personalities. While opposites do attract, maybe this girl isn't right for you.
I'd say if you're over 20, you should definitely go for girl number one, since by now you should be looking for someone whom you'll want to spend your life with, if that's what you want. You said she could be "the one", which is something you didn't say about number two.
I guess no matter your age, you make it sound like you would rather be with girl number one; so, try it out.
--Jack
(17/m)
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You're in a vexing situation, but who says you have to start a serious relationship with either of them?
There's not going to be a definite answer. Girl 2 would be the obvious choice because soon you'll be close together - but as you mentioned she's a little high maintenance and she's super gorgeous. You're going into a market with alot of competition, then. She likes you, so if that's enough for you - go for it - but bear in mind you're moving in four months. It's quite a long time when it comes to relationships, and your relationship could move on alot. You could become distant, or she could find someone else before you get to town. If your a protective person, bear in mind going out with this girl that she'd get alot of attention from other guys - and like every girl she'll enjoy it! She may give them attention back to exchange the nice gesture. If you're the type who gets insecure about that type of thing, then Girl 2 will probably cause more stress.
Girl 1 is easy to talk to and could be 'the one', but you are considering another girl - so at the moment, you're probably not ready to get really serious with her either. You're in the same town as her and she's available - you get along well obviously. I would say she was the easy choice if you weren't moving.
You need to consider some important things:
Who really is easier to talk to? There's no point in a relationship where you never know what to say because you're worried of being judged.
It doesn't matter about lifestyles. Can they both accept yours, and can you accept theirs, even though they're different? If you're bothered by theirs, bear in mind you'll probably have to bear it and in exchange, they'll accept yours.
Who have you known longer? Depending on how long they've been in your life, you're going to have a stronger connection with them.
You said that not doing anything with 1 and then nothing happening with 2 will be something you'd regret for the rest of your life, so why risk it? Enjoy your time with 1 while you can instead of hedging your bets on something that's uncertain and could end in tears.
And if you really don't want to risk upsetting 2, leave it with both of them. Leave it as it is and try and be friendly with both until you move, and then leave your opportunities open for other girls too. Try and enjoy your time with both of them as much as possible, for as long as possible. Chances are both girls might get upset that nothing's happening, though - so you'd have to risk that. That's the worst case scenario.
Make sure you give 1 a chance with you before you leave if you really feel strongly for her. If it doesn't work, you'll be able to appreciate that you had a good run and you'll have the peace of mind that now you can open yourself up to other girls when you move, maybe even 2 if she still like you. Bear in mind that if a girl likes you enough, she can be very forgiving :)
Cor blimey! All that tapping took it out of me. :)
Good luck and turrah.
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