about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

15/f

i have bags under my eyes. i use coverup, and you still can kinda see it. i get atleast 9 hours of sleep. how can i make them go away?

Believe it or not, hemorrhoid cream. Sounds gross, I know, but thousands of beauty pageant contestants can't be wrong.

ygs-29/f

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There is this kid that i am with and i like him but my parents dont let me date so ive been hiding it. im 15 and im a sophmore and i feel like they just dont understand how it is these days to date...what do i do and how could i ever tell them so that theyd understand?

Believe me, they understand. They were once 15, and know what it's like to want to date but not be allowed to, but they also know that usually there is a good reason for not being allowed to.

You are 15- they want you to enjoy being a kid while you still are, because you won't be for long. They love and care about you, and only want what is best for you. Dating at young ages is not often really what is best, especially when it comes down to "everyone else is doing it."

Someone said you shouldn't hide it, because they'll find out and all trust will go out the window. How right they are! You don't want to lose your parents' trust by hiding a boyfriend. They will be less apt to allow you to do anything at all, let alone date, out of lack of trust.

Lying and hiding it also shows immaturity, exactly what you DON'T want to show. Be mature and tell them what is going on.
Sit them down and tell them there is a boy you roll with at school, and you wish you could go on an official date with him. Said date could be him coming to your home and taking dinner and spending the evening with you AND your family. That would give your parents a chance to get to know him.

If they say no, don't beg, whine, and complain. That also shows immaturity. Ask them why, and try to understand their reasons. If you want them to understand you, you have to give them the same respect by wanting to understand them.

ygs-29/f

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so me and my guy have been dating for 15th months! i love him soo much! we we're each other's firsts for EVERYTHING except making out...i'm 16 he is 17...he's the kinda guy that is really moody like his dad...and stubborn... me and him have had some really big fights and stuff like that...he's cheated on my twice and i know about them but i've also cheated on him twice which he doesn't know about...i've been stressing out alot about our relationship because i really don't want to lose him...how can i make our relationship healthier? i do call him alot and everytime we are at his house we have sex..how can i change our relationship for the better? and don't just say to stop having sex...and idk if we should break up or not...we really don't want to cause we are like co-dependant on each other..oh and we both get really mad at each other over stu[id things sometimes..

Firstly, sex doesn't make a relationship. Having sex every time you are together doesn't make the kinks iron out. Sex is an act of love- you share yourself with him because you love him, not to try to right wrongs.

I agree that you should come clean about cheating. You know he is guilty, he needs to know you are, too. Both of you need to come to terms with the fact that you both made the same mistakes. Two key factors in a relationship are trust and honesty. Without that, you really have nothing.

Another key factor is communication. Also, without that, you really have nothing.
Both of you need to come to an agreement- If it isn't worth fighting over, don't fight about it. You get a lot further civilly and maturely discussing problems and issues rather than having shouting matches. When you fight, you talk AT each other, not TO each other.
Talking AT each other means nobody is listening, and how can you solve the problem if nobody is listening?

ygs-29/f

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I don't know if it's that i'm PMSing, or what, but my nic fits last for hours. I just keep crying and shaking... and my thoughts all day long go back and forth from "i just want a bleeping cigarette" to " i hate my bleeping boyfriend for making me quit when i really don't want to".

please tell me if quiting while PMSing is a horrible horrible idea, cause right now, it feels like it.

also, any advice on quiting smoking without gaining a ton of weight would be super appriciated.

thank you in advance for any advice you can give me.

As you know, quitting smoking is no easy task. I know- that is still a battle I have yet to win. No time is an easy time to quit, PMS or no PMS.

You should quit because you want to, not because someone else tells you to. It makes it that much harder to feel like you are being made to.

Try to think of all of the reasons YOU want to quit smoking- health reasons, the waste of money, the bad breath it causes, smelling like smoke, etc. That may make it a little bit easier.

Like Alin said, it takes about 2 weeks for your body to rid itself of nicotine. There is still the mental dependence to fight.

I believe we eat more to curb the boredom, and the mental dependence. Try to keep busy by chewing on something healthy, like a carrot or celery stalk, as Alin said, a lollipop or gum, my husband found sunflower seeds to work for him.

I wish I could tell you how to get past the extreme irritability, but that is what always gets me, because I get outright nasty and psycho. I go back to the cigarettes because I don't have the heart to subject my family to my rude behavior. (Do I subject them to the smoke, or hurt their feelings for a couple weeks? Seems lose-lose to me.)
Hopefully someone can tell you how to overcome that, and maybe I'll get help from that, too.

Good luck, and I hope you are successful!

ygs-29/f

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what are some early signs of pregnancy?

"A missed period -- (if your periods are usually regular).

A short, scant period.

Breasts that are sore, tender or swollen.

You feel sick to your stomach, or you are vomiting.

Fatigue -- feeling more tired than usual.

You need to urinate more often than usual.

Mood swings"

From link:
http://www.coolnurse.com/pregnancy.htm

ygs-29/f

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ok does it hurt to get done up the butt?
or does it feel good?
please help!!! thanx

Well, your anus wasn't made for objects to be shoved in.
You can be injured during anal sex.
How could that possibly feel good?

ygs-29/f

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What are some morals you live by?
Not ones deriving from religion...just those that are usually left "unsaid".
For example, one would be:
don't speak badly of anyone.
Can someone provide me with more?

I don't know if this is what you are looking for, but I'll tell you what I feel are my morals. Most are family/marriage oriented, because my family is my world.

I spent enough time getting to know my husband in the years before marriage to know he was the one for me. I vowed my life to him. That is that.

Every relationship you have in this life (parents, siblings, friends, significant others, etc.) is a two-way street. You have to meet in the middle for things to work out. You can't do it all yourself, nor can you expect sit and let someone else to do it all for you.

We raise our kids, our kids don't raise us. Being a child's authority is NOT a bad thing- it is the RIGHT thing. How else will they learn right from wrong, good from bad?

A child's biggest and best teacher in this life is their parents. They learn from what you say and what you do. Make sure they are learning GOOD lessons.

A child learns how to maintain a relationship from their parents.

I WANT a Corvette, but my kids come first. ALWAYS. I NEED a new pair of shoes, but my kids come first. ALWAYS.
Kids- #1. Period.

I don't believe that money is the root of all evil, but greed is. We pretty much have to have money to survive, but revolving your life around money is unhealthy. You can't buy happiness, no matter how hard you try.

Never say you CAN'T achieve goals in life. CAN'T never DID.

I don't fight about that which isn't worth fighting over. The thing people most often fight over is money. That is sad. Why? It is material, replaceable.

I'm not above others, but I can strive to be above their actions.

You create your own monsters. If you give your child everything they want growing up, you have no place to complain when they expect you to hand them their life on a silver platter, feeding them from a silver spoon.

Misery loves company. Avoid miserable people if you can't help them be happy. Otherwise, they will only get you down.

Cruelty to others doesn't really make you feel better about yourself- kindness to others does. Doing something with the intent of helping others always makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Your actions always have some sort of consequence. Think before acting- can you handle the consequences?

This is 8 miles long, so I will end with an oldie, but goodie:
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. In other words, if YOU can't eat it, don't dish it.

ygs-29/f



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ive been having sex with my boyfriend for over a year now and we never use a condem and im not on birth control. he uses the "pull out" method. what is the percentage that i could get pregnant?

Well, I assume you are a teen, so words of advice:

1- Don't trust a guy to pull out in time. He may think he can do it, but can he? Really? Doubtful.

2- Of course you can get pregnant. Though there isn't near the amount of sperm in pre cum as there is in semen, they ARE there.
It only takes ONE out of the MILLIONS that swim out during one sexual encounter. That ONE may just be swimming about in the pre cum.

3- ALWAYS practice safe sex- get condoms. If you are unable to afford them, your county health department/planned parenthood will provide them for you free of charge. No, they won't tell your parents.
Condoms are the only thing that protects you against STDs.

4- Educate yourself about pregnancy and STD risks. You are sexually active, you NEED to know these things in order to protect yourself.
Your county health department/planned parenthood/doctor's office will gladly provide you with all of the information you NEED to know. Free of charge. No, they won't tell your parents.

5- Realize it is up to YOU to protect YOU. Even if your boyfriend doesn't have STDs, you BOTH still need to get into the habit of practicing safe sex. If he doesn't want to use a condom, refuse sex. Yes, you should still use condoms while on birth control.

6- Babies are a life long job. STDs can be a death sentence. Both are preventable.

ygs-29/f

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i need help! i think i have a crush on my teacher. He's in his early 30s, blonde hair. It's not a crush crush, just a 'i like to flirt with you crush' because i like his wife and his children are adorable. -It's just that i may spend extra time hanging out with this teacher, and he sorta jokingly pushes me and stuff. and we make fun of each other... this is weird isn't it..? im a senior

Come, now.
A 30-something man flirting with a teenage girl.
What ISN'T weird about that?
Having a crush on him is one thing, that is innocent, but you need to not spend extra time hanging out with him and encouraging his inappropriate behavior.
Yes. Him flirting with you is inappropriate behavior, and also he is risking his family and his entire career.
Don't be a part of that.

ygs-29/f

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Like I always wondred what goes on in the girls locker room...like i know the guys like are in their boxers and no shirt...but are the girls like freaken in their thongs and training bras?....like i know us guys like wanna be in there when they are getting changed and stuff...but what really happens in "THE GIRLS LOCKER ROOM" (with a voiceover announcer)

Girls in thongs on gym day.... Come on, sweaty butt-cracks + butt-floss underwear = gross. LOL
I think you may have ruined it for yourself.
Girls locker rooms don't consist of skimpy underwear and pillow fighting.
We of the female variety sweat, stink and need a shower after gym activities just like the guys do.
Nothing thrilling, exciting, or sexy like guys probably think.
It is a locker room, just like the guys', with maybe the exception of a perfume scent and make-up cases here and there.

ygs-29/f

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Our dog seems very healthy. She's a jack russell and very playful but over the past week she has spit up blood twice.

"Early symptoms [of heart worm] include a cough, especially on exercise, and early exhaustion upon exercise. More advanced cases progress to severe weight loss, fainting, coughing up blood, and, finally, congestive heart failure."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heartworm#Clinical_Signs_of_Infection

This is all I could find looking it up.
I know you say she seems healthy, so this is probably not the cause of her spitting up blood. But you never know. Heart worm is something that needs to be diagnosed by your vet.
That is why it isn't a good idea to put off going to the vet when your pet has blood where it shouldn't be.
Always remember that, like we need regular check-ups with our doctor, our pets need regular check-ups with their vet to ensure their good health.
Be sure to keep her up to date on all vaccinations, including worm treatments.

ygs-29/f

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so i babysit this six year old 3 times a week.
he lies to me all the time about what he can and can't do.
one day he told me something he could do and his mother got mad at me.
i can tell she really doesn't like me now, but she has no one else to babysit for her.
her and her husband both smoke a lot.
when i come home from her house i REEK of ciggarette smoke.
it's disgusting.
i have to scrub myself in the shower to make the smell go away.
but it's still stuck in my jacket, so i smell it everyday.
one day i had my boyfriend pick me up and he was gagging on the smell.
the mother and her husband are both getting new jobs and i'm also afraid i'm going to have later hours, which just can't happen.
it's already effecting my grades because i'm always so tired after.
i just don't know what to do.
i'm one of those people that feel guilty about everything too.
i need a lot of help, please.

If it's effecting your school work, then quit. Your education is worth far more than a few spare bucks.

As for them smoking, well, I'm sure you had a general idea of that when you started there. Even if you didn't, you don't like it, yet have continued to sit for them.
They have a right to smoke. You have a right to not expose yourself to it.
The next family that asks you to sit, say you only sit kids in a non-smoking environment.

For future reference on lying kids- I've been there...
When they try to tell you "Mom said I can do this or that" tell them "If your mom said you could do this or that, she would have informed me, so the answer is NO."
Of course, they will protest and beg. That is when you tell them "Next time remind your parents to inform me of any activities you are allowed to do that are out of the ordinary."

I promise- problem solved. They will realize that they can't trick you into allowing them to do what they aren't supposed to.

Don't feel guilty for doing what you think is right for the kids who are under your supervision. By no means feel guilty for doing what is right for you.
If you don't want to sit for a kid who lies to you and gets you into trouble in a smoke filled home that tires you to the point your grades suffer, then by all means, DON'T.
You have nothing to feel guilty for.
They found you, they WILL find someone else.

ygs-29/f

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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this?

Well, I'm not educated in this, but I'll give it a shot.

Yes. I it is a cause of concern. We as human beings can't live a fulfilling life without emotion.

What was it about early childhood that caused you to become "emotionally dead?" I would say that is probably where the root of the problem is. If you can figure that out, face it, and let it go, then you are taking a huge step in the right direction.

I would highly suggest you seek professional help of some sort. Councilor, therapist, psychiatrist, etc. Someone like that can help you find out what underlying problem is causing you to feel... well... nothing.
I say underlying problem, because there has to be something there causing this. Maybe you realize what that something may be, maybe you don't.

Whatever that something may be, it is definitely a something you need to come to terms with so you can start to live the happy, fulfilling life you deserve to have.

ygs-29/f

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i dont know why im still really upset. my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because were too long distance. i was so upset. i cried so much. we were together for 5 months and he was my frist boyfriend and kiss. i never liked anyone like i liked him. i still do. i agree that we lived too far away and i knew it. i was just felt like i took the whole thing for granted. i imed him saturday which was a big step for me and he said he regrets the breakupp. he said he still likes me. i got closure. i understand why were broken up. i dont know why but im still sad inside. im thinking its cause it just hit me last night when i took our pictures off the wall. i want to express myself to my friends but i dont really know what to say cause i dont really exactly know why im still this sad. i feel like i still need to cryy. but it doesnt come out. im so confused with myself. why am i still sad? how can i express it? all help would be appretiated.

thanks;;
hopeless

Ending a relationship is a big deal.
Some people seem to get over it right away, whereas others take some time to stop thinking about the ex, let alone get over it.

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad. You like the guy and wish things could be different. You didn't end the relationship on bad terms.
It just wasn't possible to maintain a healthy long distance relationship.

You will get past this sadness in due time.
The best thing you can do is talk to your friends, even if you are confused about how you should be feeling. That is what friends are for.

Don't worry and think that you shouldn't be feeling this way. The way you are feeling is perfectly normal.
It hurts a lot now, but I promise it will hurt less and less as time goes by. It may take a couple more weeks, it may take a couple of months. It's different with everyone.

Hang in there. I promise it will be alright.

ygs-29/f

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This question is for a person that has been diagnosed, by a doctor, with multiple personalities. I'm doing a research paper about it, and we need to interview someone that has our "disease". If there is anyone on here that has been diagnosed with MPD please say something back, so I can ask you some questions about it, and how you live you everyday life with it. Thank you

-Hollister_lover09

I don't know if this is helpful to you, but you may have luck searching for Multiple Personality Disorder chat sites if no one can answer your question here.
I wager someone would be glad to help you.

ygs-29/f

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i know this sound silly but i always tahught it went in what i reacently found out is called my cervix. but where does it actually go then coz (without trying to sound graphic) it seams sealed off by fleash where my 'cervix' begins. is that weird, it is the same for other girls?



"Cervix: The cervix is the lower, narrow part of the uterus (womb). The uterus, a hollow, pear-shaped organ, is located in a woman's lower abdomen, between the bladder and the rectum. The cervix forms a canal that opens into the vagina, which leads to the outside of the body."

Check out this image link:
http://images.main.uab.edu/healthsys/ei_0351.gif

The penis goes into the vagina. This is a canal, of sorts. At the top of the vagina is the cervix, followed by the uterus.

ygs-29/f

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If you go to the gynocologist can she tell if you've had sex, or you've done something else?

No.
But she is someone you need to be honest with about sexual activity. Like said before me, she can't tell your parents due to privacy.

ygs-29/f

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15f and i get really dizzy alot lately...i do get car sick, but i dont know if that matters. its like when i am dancing for even 5 minutes...I feel really lightheaded and my stomach feels sick. when i play a sport...and we have to run alot, my stomach feels upset (location: the like part where your ribs start to curve down and there is stomach) even if i twirl around like twice it makes me sick...is this normal? what do i do??? PLEASE HELP!!!! thanks!

You should see a doctor.
Have you had any problems with your ears? Ear problems can effect balance and cause dizziness.

ygs-29/f

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I've been going out wit this gurl - gurl of my dreams. Well that is except for the turmoil that's there between her, and her X boyfriend.

Ah. She's been going out with this guy for over four years, but then she breaks up with him having me come into her arms. Of course I thought, and still do suspect that I'm just being used as a shield sort of. I even brought it up, and told her that she could dump me any time, but then she started crying. Even calling me a jerk. Her little sister talked to me about this, and she had quite a convincing arguement: that she would neve do this, and if she were she would have gotten back together with her X.

Now one day I'm in her house, and in her bed at 4am. The front door is slamming, and it's her X trying to break it down. Then he yells that we're dead, and kicks in her living room window. After all of that, and the cops I took her to my house. On top of my bed as were about to dose off she tells me she knows why he might be acting so crazy, and then she admitted to me that she had sex with him 2 days after they broke up. Note that thats when she started hanging out with me. Meanwhile she's defending this lunatic after he came to her house drunk, and attempted a breaking and entering.

After tonight I'm just depressed, and sickened by these events let alone the fact that I just don't feel like I should be with this girl: it's just to good to be true that a gurl like this has just dived into my arms. Tonight she told me that she went to her X's house, and talked to him about the situation. She tells me how she feels bad for him, wants to drop the charges, can now tell that he's really sorry, and likes that he said that he wants to have children with some girl and shes the girl he hopes who it'll be with. Then she said that she was happy with that image.

Oh, and now she said that she might possibly not talk to me until this withdrawal her X is having is over with. Right now she just texted me that she misses me.

What is this, and where is this going?

Just FYI for the majority of my life I've had no friend, and was told that I'm ugly. I have no emotions, dignity, pride, and I just feel as horrible as I did before I met her now. I myself am assuming the worse. I have my downward negative 90 degree social trend that I have going on to consider after all especially with the opposite sex.

Ok, with having a low self esteem, do you really think this relationship is healthy for you?

She seems to still be too concerned about her ex, his feelings, she makes excuses for his bad behavior, and likes the image of having children with him. Why are you still with her, subjecting yourself to this?

I know you like her and THINK she is the girl of your dreams, but she is only going to make your self esteem worse.

The girl of your dreams wouldn't treat you this way. And to be honest, the sad fact is that it sounds like she is using you for a rebound relationship, at the least. That isn't fair to you- you deserve much better than that.

I think you would be wise to end things and get yourself in order. You need to start liking yourself. You have to love yourself before you can possibly love her.
Maybe in this period of finding a way to improve your self image, she will grow up. Maybe then you can try this relationship again, and maybe then it will be successful.

ygs-29/f

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Hey I noticed that you asked DN how to get a bigger picture. If you upload your picture to a site like tinypic.com, you can then use the URL given as your picture, "url of a picture of you" instead of uploading one on advicenators. And it'll be almost any size that you want it to be!


If you already figured that out, disregard this & I aplogize =)
-LM

Well, I kinda got it figured out. :/
I have a bigger one for now, until I decide to change the picture... ;P

Thank you, though!

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