Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29737
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I got fingered today for the first time, it felt good but at the same time had a small burning sensation. he started with 1 finger then used 2. sometimes i would feel like if i had gotten scratched but i ignored it. when I went to the restroom to check there was blood on my panties. it didnt hurt at all untill i tried to go pee. oh my! i couldnt even go pee. there was horrible stinging and burning. i tried drying the small amount of pee & i was bleeding a bit. what should i do? im scared to go pee! & did he break my hymen? (link)
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It sounds rather like he did break your hymen, but that's the bit you didn't want to hear over. Good news is it isn't damaging or dangerous and you don't need to be scared of having a pee or anything else. Your hymen could rupture at any time, energetic exercise, horse riding or when a girl masturbates are common offenders. There's a lot of misplaced significance regarding this little membrane. The idea being that rupturing it means you're no longer a virgin. Quite honestly you haven't lost your virginity until you have penetrative sex with a guy. If that's part of what is worrying you, forget it. Stinging when you pee is most likely just irritation from his fingering. Guys can be a bit clumsy and heavy-handed until they 'learn their way around' a girl as it were. There's a slight chance of a local infection if his hands weren't too clean but it is slight. And were NOT talking about a scary sexually transmitted infection here so don't freak out! If it persists too long speak to a chemist or doctor. Chances are it'll calm down on its own. Main things to keep in mind are that you haven't damaged yourself in any way and you haven't spoiled 'losing your virginity' when you choose your Mr Right! Ok?
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25/f. I warn you, this is going to sound very conceited, but I swear I'm not trying to be. I apologize in advance for the French, but there are some things best expressed in alternate languages. Regardless, I need advice...
I'm going into clinical psychology. I love it with a passion, and helping people truly is my raison d'etre. All my life I've wanted to make a difference, if only in one person's day. I'm working in my field, kind of, and this past Monday I had my first case turn sour, and I feel like I completely failed the family. Realistically and logically, I'm aware that the situation was out of my control, and there was nothing I could've done to intervene, but it's tough. I still feel terrible about it and I can't stop thinking about it.
In addition to this, all week it seems like things in my friends' and family's lives have been going downhill, and everyone has been turning to me for support.
Today, I got pretty confrontational with a dear friend when discussing her recent life denouement. She responded well to it because my friends know I'm the person to turn to for blunt "this-is-how-it-is" advice, not comfort, but I just feel so... jaded, I guess. Like everything and everyone is very predictable, and I'm tempted to just not bother with other people. It's very difficult for me to find motivation for my job, too.
On top of this, my most recent relationship (predictably) ended at the end of January thanks to a large mental age-gap, selfishness, and other various issues. I feel fine about it. It just didn't work, and while I hoped X, Y, and Z wouldn't happen, I saw it coming. See what I mean? (No, it wasn't a self-fulfilling prophecy issue, at least not on my end.)
I'm not even sure what my question is. I suppose I'm just hoping for some words of encouragement, or something.
Thank you to all who respond... (link)
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Since the field interests you, I'm sure you're aware that there is no 'standard reaction' and that we are all formed in character by myriad experiences and influences, each in some way unique to each individual. No text-book in human psychology. No general case, each being particular in some way. So perhaps the only thing that is truly predictable is the sheer unpredicatbility of human nature? It's accepted too that although there is a theroretical 'normal' person there are no 'normal people'. Is it not? Only 'compensated' (have acknowledged their deviations from the theoretical norm and act conciously to correct it) and 'uncompensated' (those who are unaware of the tendency, or refuse in some way to acknowledge and correct). I know, you're armed with more knowledge than many. Perhaps a little more understanding, the ability to see their fears and anxieties as part of a bigger picture? And of course you want to 'step-in' as it were and take control of the situation? But of course, that is something neither you, nor anyone can do. In fact, it's not about you at all is it? It's about them. Your job is perhaps to use your abilities to weigh-up the situation, analyse, offer-up alternatives. To guide only. You haven't got a magic wand. Try not to let 'failiure' deter you or take the edge off your resolve and will. Since there is no winning-post anyway, is failiure even the right word? And remember that much of what you say may have merely put a 'seed' in someones mind, the first glimmer of an idea. One which may, at the right time grow into something of greater power. A guaranteed instant fix would be nice wouldn't it? Be a little careful about 'blunt' though. Some closed doors need the subtle art of a locksmith to open them, not a sledgehammer! And keep in mind that 'the way it is' is sujective, not always objective and very rarely absolute. The two-dimensional approach is something common in young children, but as you're no doubt aware can persist long into adult life in the intellect that has failed to mature and clings to a black/white, good/bad polarisation of any and all situations. This is perhaps one of the most recursive tendencies you will be 'up against' in those you want to help. There must be no trace of such over-simplifcation in YOU! Best wishes, and keep on keeping on!
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I've been pain for about 4 years. I mean not all the time but I definitely want to die when my mom said we have a problem with money, so don't pay too much, don't lend your money to anyone, don't hang out etc. I know the statement of my family well and I never waste money. Why she always talk to me like I'm a bad child. I know that some people might think how silly and weak am I for these words. It might meaningless for other, but not for me. I don't know either why these common words are so much influenced on my life. I'm seriously about this and it's worst for my life. I don't want to feel it so many times I feel like i'm dying. (link)
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I think you are worried because you don't know the whole story. A money problem could mean not having enough to buy all the things you would like. Or it could mean not having enough money for the things you need. Like mortgage repayments or rent, like payments for heating and lighting. The first problem is annoying but we are all a bit like that at the moment. The second one is a real problem. Are you worried that this is what she meant? You might sit and talk to her and tell her that you do not want to be treated like a child and you want to know exactly what she means by money problem. Just how bad is it. When you do not know all the facts your mind will keep thinking of the words and it will make-up things. The worry all the time will make you feel unwell. Try to explain this to your mum. I think that saying we are short of money so do not spend too much, without giving you more information is not a very good idea. It will make you worry. There may not be too much to worry about if keeping both of you in a warm home is not in doubt. That is the only thing you really need to feel secure and safe isn't it?
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What do you think of online dating websites, and advice would you give out and say to people that want to find love online?.http://www.ashleymadison.com (link)
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Personally I think they're a sound way of making connections. After that the task of building, consolidating and actually 'living' the relationship are just the same as if you'd met at a nightclub, at work, out shopping or whatever. At least you know other clients are actually looking for the same thing. True, the internet has a reputation as rich pickings for scammers and sharks. And seriously dysfunctional characters.But so is life off-line isn't it? I'd say use it as a resource, but keep your expectations real and use your usual powers of judgment and discretion. You're not ordering a new TV online with the extended warranty included.
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UGH. I have never felt so stressed. Everyone is so pissy. I'm in my 3rd year of high school, prime of my youth. But instead i toss and turn about what i need to do, what classes i need to take. My marks have been going down because of this. I haven't always been a perfect 90 student but i have never been as low as i am now. Packed on with this i got a job. i love it and the people i work with are amazing but the stress is killing me. At this point all i want to do is fool around and kick back a little. Only every time i do i take 30 steps back. How can i plan my future worry about friends, family, money, my grades, extracurriculars, university, a job. I mean how! i know i can do this. I just get so bummed out i don't have the courage too. You know? (link)
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Woah! Steady there. Your post is just going 'woosh' over me and getting ME stressed! You're trying to live your life in one day here mate, no wonder you're wound-up. Try not to predict and second-guess future events. Take each challenge as it comes, when it comes. Judge each on its merits, prioritise them. A little pressure is a good thing, it makes us raise our game, sharpens our senses. But piling on the pressure repeatedly causes stress, and that's no good for anything. Set aside a bit of 'me time' regularly and try to forget about the scary future stretching out in front of you. And enjoy your youth. True, adult life is a lot more daunting than those care-free childhood days. But it's not 60 years or so of unrelenting pressure & misery you know! Doubting you're on the right path and fearing you won't come up to scratch are a pretty stong sign that you ARE on the right track, and you WILL make the grade. Why? Because it proves you DO give a damn...if you did't none of this would worry you much would it?? The kick-back? That's just like the pendulum on an old-fashioned clock. The further you push it one way, the further it'll swing back in the opposite direction when you let it go. Law of nature, law of human nature. Expect it, and don't let it phase you. Relax. You're doing better than you think you are!
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Do you have to be 18 to buy condoms? (link)
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DEFINITELY NO! This is one area where age-of-consent laws do more harm than good by making you feel you are doing something terribly wrong. If you're thinking about having sex, GET CONDOMS. And argue the ethics LATER!
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Hi, I appreciate your reply to my question. Thank you kindly! It encouraged me to register & to contact you privately.
I really got almost everything you said & believe it to be so. I was a little lost within the last couple of sentences & wondered if you wouldn't mind explaining in a different way please?
Take care (link)
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Hi there. thanks for your reply. My concluding sentences referred to the 'unchngeability' if you like of past events. The only way these events can hurt you again is if you allow them to impact negatively on your current circumstances. They will only be the barrier you are fearing between you and your new partner if you allow them to be, if you allow them to drive in that wedge. By Jung's thinking, the prize we are pursuing is self-acceptance. The knowledge that, yes this is part of who and what I am. It is beyond change. I accept this. But the future is mine to make or spoil as I choose. At any point in our lives we are to some extent the sum of every decision we have ever made, every experience we have been subject to. And in a week, a month or ten years from now this will also be the case. So shouldn't we begin making choices NOW that we hope will put us in a good position? Possibly a very long-winded way I'm saying we MUST move on, always forwards. Focus now on reaching this point of complete acceptance. Sharing the situation as it stands, still an unresolved 'open-wound' in you as it were, is perhaps unlikely to produce the closure you are seeking. Once you are fully reconciled to it, then it will be robbed of much of it's sting. Then, when you're confident that this 'bomb' is safe would probably be a better time to confide fully in your partner. The desire for complete truth and honesty just sing-out in your original question. Feelings of guilt and shame likewise. It suggests that you feel keeping it dark is perhaps adding to you perceived 'sin' (not used literally, I have no religious convictions or belief in 'sin'). This is a natural repsonse, but not really valid. Think of it as protecting him, those you care for and yourself from that that bomb until you can hand it off, safe and defused. When you've 'handled it' you have every right to ask and expect others to. If it's any further help, Jung suggested the first step in defusing these bombs is to be like a detective, and keep returning in your mind to the 'crime-scene'. Each time try to gather some new fact, some fresh evidence, some further knowledge and self-knowledge. Be rational, methodical and a little detached...the crime is over and done now, just not yet 'solved'. Concentrate on the present though, and try to avoid prematurely thinking the war is already won. Celebrate every little victory as a day-by-day process. You'll get there. Finally, I'll be quite clear. By 'acceptance' I am NOT advocating a life-policy of 'Lay down and take all the crap I get dealt'. Stay strong, strive for what you want & need. But failing to accept a situation which is now, and possibly always was beyond your control WILL keep you in an extremely damaging mindset known as 'victim mentality. I've waffled-on enough already, but believe me this will hold you back and defeat you in a million different ways if you don't let it go. My very best wishes. CJ-B
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Hi,
I have a past situation that still bugs me from time to time & I would appreciate a non judgemental outsiders advice who can step into both shoes please.
There is a long story to this situation, over about 4 years long but the same question remains...Do I tell my partner the whole truth about the situation or continue with him knowing parts or most of the truth, leave it in the past, let it go & move on?
I have been with my partner for 10 years (with a few breaks in between). He was around when this went on & does know a lot about it yet there are parts that I blocked out, feared revealing, were too painful, regretted, was a different person at the time & or traumatised by. Needless to say, certain parts have come back or are clearer now.
I am not fully sure why it comes back to bug me except that it is a part of my past I am ashamed of, the whole truth of it has not been disclosed to anyone, fear of always being defined as the black sheep in the family, no one understands, will I now lose my partner, if I do tell will it really make me feel better & improve our relationship?
I realise this is a grey area & that is why I get so caught up in the whole thing. Do I tell or don't I? I have bit my lip a few times plus started to say more about it then stopped, changed the subject or brushed it off but I am also sick of swallowing it back down, feeling caught in the web, letting it affect my soul & have it return.
We try to tell each other everything. We are normally great communicators. He has been my rock & is a wonderful man. This is something that stops me feel honestly worthy of his love & I believe creates distance between us (from my part) that I do not want us to have. We are looking at getting engaged/married & starting a family soon.
Is it something I must get over & leave alone or it is to be fully shared in hope it does bring us closer after the possible tears & hurt?
Thanks in advance!
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Clearly this was a significant event. Would you allow me to enlist the help of an intellectual hero of mine, the brilliant Swiss psychologist Carl Jung in my reply? He recognised that an unresolved issue will keep continually forcing its way into our thoughts in an attempt to make us confront it and find a solution. Unresolved it becomes something akin to a time-bomb, always ticking away in the background with the potential to explode at any moment, without warning. Hiding away a bomb is of course not a good way to deal with it. We really need to defuse it, make it safe. It's natural enough to feel that sharing the secret is the solution. You hope that your partner will react with understanding and acceptance, of course. But I have to ask...have you really understood and accepted it YOURSELF yet? The 'blocking out' comments suggest to me that perhaps you have not? Now the final stage of defusing that bomb is acceptance. Self-acceptance. It's perhaps widely understood that resolving any traumatic experience involves this sequence. Shock-Denial-Anger-Grief-Acceptance. We cannot of course skip any phase completely. We must progress through each in turn, with acceptance the goal. It sounds like a nice easy path, perhaps over a few months...year at most? Surely we cannot get stuck in one or more of the interim phases for ten years or more can we? Sadly, yes we can. I would suggest then, that rather than hand your boyfriend a ticking bomb, start making it at least a little safer yourself first. And while you're fighting your own private demon here, try to focus on improving and deepening the bonds of your relationship day by day. Man lives only in the present and by nature tries to look forward with a little more hope than the facts would suggest he has any right to. You have no actual alternative to leaving the events themselves in the past have you? Good luck. When the disclosure, or the confidence to choose NOT to make them comes you'll know.
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Well, I am straight, at least I know, and my bff always says how imperfect she is. But really she is super pretty and all that. Some one showed me one of those My little pony things with the ponies liking eachothers vagina, I kinda have the urge to do that to my BFF. Im not sure if that would just be group masturbation or if it considered bisexual or lesbian.HELP!!!! Btw im female (link)
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Girl friends are normally more intimate and 'touchy-feely' than male friends (where it is definitely not acceptable behaviour). Feelings could easily extend to a very sexual nature. It doesn't make you lesbian, or even that you will be bisexual in later life. I can appreciate that you've got a strong sexual urge towards your friend, and it's rooted in good stuff too...a sound friendship. But I'd suggest you don't present oral sex to her as a real option and something you're dying to do just yet. She might be horrified and you'll lose a good friend, and there's the gossip side of it. It might pass unfulfilled, just a phase of your sexuality. Play it by ear, and don't make any rash advances unless you're pretty sure they'll hit the mark. If you do at some point decide to be intimate with each other, on a mutually agreed level...then by no means would this be wrong or damaging. You sound quite young, so don't rush into anything. If your amorous attention had focussed on a lad, you'd just think 'I'm crushing'. Yours have focussed on your friend, and that's the only real difference. The urge, and even some actual physical realisation of it, is no where near as uncommon as you probably feel it is, and it's quite natural too.
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so im a 14 year old girl right i wanna know why i like porn so much especially when the girls double stuffed why do i get so wet?
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It's more commonly males that respond to the purely visual stimulus of pornographic imagery. But it's a fallacy that girls don't view porn and all find it unpleasant. Couples, with perfectly active and satisfying sex lives can enjoy watching together too. You're not strictly speaking of an age where you should be, but for heaven's sake don't get hung-up over it and feel guilty because you enjoy it. Keep plenty of other interests too. And trust me, commercially shot porn is a very set-up and well... fake vista. Don't get the idea into your head that it's like a 'documentary' of the real sex lives of real adult couples will you mate? I mean, when you meet a guy you really like, he won't be expecting to share you with his mate for a start...or at least I hope not!! Have fun, but keep it real.
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Hi, I'm trying to burn this slideshow that I made for my friends birthday onto my brand new BLANK CD/DVD but for some reason when I tried to do this it said that my CD is not writable and to please insert a blank one, but it was blank! how can I fix this? (link)
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Every time I've had a message returned like that it was a corrupt disc and nothing more. I found the 'bargain bucket' stacks of loads of CD's for not much cash some years ago were bad offenders. There'd be quite a few 'duffers' in the pack...serves me right for trying to pinch the pennies! Good brands are not immune either, but no doubt have better production facilities & QC. Suppose that's why you pay more eh?? Definitely DON'T persevere with a suspect disc, sling it and try another. You might get it to write, then find out later the flippin' thing's unreadable in ANYTHING. Yep, have done that...lost a whole days photo shoot!!!
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Me and my boyfriend has sex he had a condom on while it was on before we started my nail rubbed against the condom could this tear it ? (link)
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They're fairly robust. Yes a nail could tear one, but the action of sex and nature of the material a condom is made from mean a small tear hardly ever occurs and remains a small one. It almost instantly becomes a big tear and rips all the way. Which he would feel instantly, sex with and without do feel different for a guy. And of course you'd have noticed after sex when he withdrew from you. I think your risk is very slight
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okay so this isnt really a sex question but when I had a bf, I got REALLY wet just making out! I want it to stop. I know some people say its a good thing andgys like it but I dont. I have tried pantyliner's and It doesnt work to provent it. This is really embarrassing but I get wet through my pants and I want it to stop. Please help if there is anyway! Thanks in advance. Oh and I am only 16 and have only made out and it was that bad just doing that. thanks again (link)
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Are you getting wet only when you're getting sexually aroused, or do you have a persistent vaginal discharge other times has to be the first question? If it's normal secretions that come about via sexual arousal then that's just the way you're built I reckon. Bit of a delicate question, but if you were very anxious about making out, are you sure it wasn't a bit of 'stress-peeing'? Probably not, but worth a thought. Also, if you fantasise and get yourself highly aroused through masturbating, do you get very wet then? It could be that you just DO get very wet when aroused. At your age, when you're just starting to have a guy around when you're wetting, and in a position where he'll know about it, it can be a rather 'embarassing' at first. As you've acknowledged, some guys like it
and I can't say I've ever known a bloke have a problem with a girl wetting. He'd have to be pretty mixed-up mentally if he did, I mean it's a natural response. If it is part of your make-up, you can't stop it any way I know of. So your best bet is to come to terms with it and enjoy it as much as possible. A chat with the doctor might be a good idea if you've got any niggling worries, and definitely if you've got any unusually heavy discharges down there when you're not sexually excited. All the best.
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Okay, so I'd asked this question earlier as well but I guess I wasnt clear in it.
Basically there is this guy I really like. The problem is that I am too short for him. I am 4'11 (151 cm) and that guy is 5'11-ish. And I feel REALLY consious about that. He lives in a another city so its not like we can meet everyday and eventually get used to eachother's difference.
So my questions are, where does a 4'11 person reach a 5'11 or 6 feet guy?
What do guys think of girls as short as 4'10-4 11
Those in relationships, coulld you please temme your height difference
X
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Your head will be just below his shoulder. I'm 6ft. I've always liked 'petite' girls. (Tall and slender looks great too, very elegant.) I think 5'2" was the tiniest lady I dated, which is not that great a difference to your height. She was quite a success in her job and at least normally assertive if not a little more so, her height certainly didn't give her a childish character. Guys have to be careful not to 'baby' a shorter girl accidentally. They can make us feel a bit over-protective, but we mean well I reckon! Reversed, a girl towering over her partner can make the guy, and the girl feel rather self-concious at social events, or even walking arm-in-arm around town. Bit narrow-minded, but there you go. Courtship and choice of partner issues are a bit fundamental and refuse to be pc sometimes. Girls taller than me are quite scarce, so I can't give you a personal take on how it feels. The way you've got it round I wouldn't worry. And I shouldn't think he will either if you 'click' as a couple.
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Hi. I have been goin out with my boyfriend for like 6 months now, but I dunno wat to do that will kinda turn him on but yeh he kisses my neck, squeazes my bum n shizz, but like I wanna give him something but not SEX, something that gonna turn him on, I love him really but just wanna give him a little pleasure without acto sex xxxxx n I'm 15, sooo if u know anything I could do to make him horny while making out or something please help (link)
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Hiya mate! Well, half a year's a long enough time to have built up a good deal of trust and knowledge in each other. But you're not ready to commit to full sex yet? That's absolutely fine. Have a think about how much you're comfortable with. You might like to allow him to stroke you intimately between your legs. Outside, with just the tips of his fingers? That way you'll get to know about your own responses and he'll learn too. You decide the cut-off point, agree that beforehand. If that's giving you a 'no way!' response right now, that's OK. Try it if or when it sounds good. Not until. Of course, us blokes get aroused just being around a girl we really fancy. Putting it bluntly, well...we get a pretty urgent 'hard-on' from time to time! Possibly you might like the idea of making him come, using your hands? Usually called a 'hand-job' or something similar. It's a neat way of relieving all that tension that builds up when your being intimate. We do feel a strong urge to come and it can be mad frustrating for us blokes when we don't get to do it. But I'm going to make a VERY important point here. YOU have to feel happy about doing it and actually want to, or NO SHOW! It's not his, or any other boyfriend's right! If these ideas are appealing to you then it's pretty common and natural behaviour at your age. Which can help a young couple really 'bond' and enjoy a more adult level relationship, without the perils, pressures and anxieties of full sex. You sound firmly assured that this isn't an option yet, and that should prevent things running away with you, if you see what I mean. But stay focussed, things can get a bit heated! If your thinking 'OK...but still not for me YET' then carry on with the kissing, cuddling and less intimate caressing until such time that you want to go a little further. That's fun too. Right, as in everything else means 'right for YOU'. Hope I've been a little help. Best wishes.
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its my first time nd im nervous like what am i suppose to wear or what to also whats goin to happen will he enjoy it? also im scared how to i keep my cool? wats the chances of me getting pregnant? im 19 and im a female! (link)
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You've got a bag full of questions here mate! Well, us blokes like 'eye-candy' and girls generally enjoy looking good and feel more confident when they do. Maybe try a pretty, silky and quite revealing nightie. Pretty undies and a lacy bra? Basically, what do YOU feel sexy wearing? That's how to dress for the start of the occasion. He'll enjoy it...bloke usually does. There's many a nervous request from girls on this sight about the 'losing your cherry' aspect. Impossible to predict how it'll feel for you. Generally, the more relaxed and mentally and emotionally 'ready' you are to commit to a sexual relationship the more comfortable and enjoyable it will be. And bear in mind it's a natural and unavoidable event all sexually active women have been through, not a traumatic or in any way 'damaging' experience. Do make sure he's got you fully aroused physically before he attempts to penetrate you though, no rushing into it. What happens? Well, it sounds a bit dry in words but you enjoy arousing and stimulating each other until you're both dying to 'do it'. Then he enters you and thrusts rhythmically until he 'comes'. He'll almost certainly be pressing quite firmly and rapidly against you as he approaches climax...us blokes do that. Don't worry too much about keeping your cool. In fact, during sex it's nice to 'let go' and enjoy it. Most of us guys like to know our partner is enjoying it too and will find the sight of you excited and aroused a VERY nice sight indeed! You won't look 'stupid' or 'funny' when the heat's on...really you won't.
Condoms, used properly are a highly effective means of birth control. But obviously if they split or slip off the effectivenes drops to zero percent. Obviously he puts it on before any sort of penetration. Leave a sort of 'pouch' at the end for his semen, but make sure there's no air trapped, making it look like a balloon. That's the most common cause of one popping and breaking. It should be rolled right down to the base of his erect penis. After he's 'come' and he's withdrawing, he should hold the base to stop the full condom slipping off. If one pops, STOP and put on a new one straight away. Millions use condoms every day, without any problems or accidents. The odds are VERY much in your favour. Keep your expectations real, it takes time and practice to get everything in synch and get tuned-in sexually to ANY new partner, and even more so when it's your first sexual partner as well. I'm sure you'll be fine. 19 is by no means too early an age to start enjoying sex. Your outlook should be quite adult enough to avoid most of the emotional problems and mistakes that arise from starting sex much too young. The main thing is to be be safe regarding pregnancy. The rest...learning about each others likes and dislikes, how to pleasure each other best etc is a major part of the fun. Good luck.
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hi guys....so technically I'm not a virgin I had lost my virginity when I was 14 years old and I am now 17. I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months and we still haven't had sex because I get really nervous and embarrassed. not to sound awkward or disturbing but he fingers me pretty frequently and plays with my chest all the time. I have him `head` once and that was fine. but hi ow do I build up confidence? and ...how much does it hurt? as I said I was 14 and I don't remember how it felt. and I haven't had sex since than. thank you so much everyone who answers!!!
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Being somewhat older now and with a guy you've dated for nearly a year you should be quite confident as you're much more ready now. There's a good possibility that it won't hurt at all as long as you're not tensed-up through nerves or anxiety and that your chap has spent plenty of time getting you properly aroused. 10 months in you should have a good deal of trust in him and know him very well. Could just be a pleasant sensation of feeling 'full' with any luck. Sort out contraception issues beforehand, condom would be good, then you can 99% lose any unwanted pregnancy fears that could wind up your stress levels and make things a bit tighter than necessary. No end of girls lose their virginity a bit too soon. Curiosity, things getting a bit out of hand (no pun intended!) and so on. And it's often not a great experience for them. Yours obviously wasn't mind-blowing and memorable eh?? Don't worry. You're in a MUCH better and more desirable position now, so try and relax, go with the flow and enjoy it.
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.. I tryed to commit suicide once by overdosing and ended up in psycho hospital...( Those that u go for like 3 days to evaluate you) .. Idk ive been thinking about doing it again but the thing is that everyone else thinks I'm being weak selfish ect. I really hate my life. I have major depression disorder and I had bulimia for about 5 years ever since I was 13yrs old..I just simply want to die. I lost all my motivation and I don't want to do anything. I used to draw and I won some awards.. I used to b an A+ student and now I can bearly pass my classes. I cry every night. I know lots of people but I don't have many friends. I don't have communication w my parent bcz I don't even live w them. I live w my grandparents and sisters. Sometimes I just want to take all the pain away but it seems impossible. Ever since I was 13 Ive been dealing w this.
I just don't want to feel miserable all the time.. I am a weak person. And I believe that I have the choice to die because after all It is MY life. I know many of you will probably tell me the opposite but I'm set on that. I have also been seeing a therapist. You may say I'm crazy but I just really want to know ways on how to kill myself fast and easy... (link)
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Your mind's going to some dark places. Thoughts of putting an end to it all can perversely seem a sort of 'comfort' in the darkest nights. Feeling out of control, you turn to the one thing you think you can still control...the time and place of your own death. When physical ailments strike we seek the guidance of the medical profession. Why do we feel so different when it's mental? Why do we feel it's a weakness, that we're beyond help? That somehow it calls fo no less than wiping ourselves out of existence? You have put together a coherent question. You still have the power of analysis, reason and conclusion. Your mind is not damaged. You now have reams of practical, sound advice in front of you. You've reached the bottom line. And now you've taken the first step, away from oblivion and towards the bright future. The one that A+ student with artistic potential could see once, not so long ago...remember? It's still there you know...still there for the taking. You've just lost sight of it, that's all. With a little help you can turn this around. You WILL turn this around.
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Hi, i'm Meg, i am 13 and LOVE writing. This is a poem i wrote for a loved one,tell me what you think please.
The darkness attacks at the mention of your name
The ache in my heart strikes once again
I remember the times we would sing and dance
Then not saying 'I love you' one last chance
will you think of me wherever you are?
Pillow fights,cuddles,air guitar?
I need you,please come back from our part
Take the pieces and fix my heart.
You went to early we were unprepared
It left us sad,full of sorrow and scared.
He lies here now as cute as a lamb
The grandchild you never met, You'de be proud of him Nan.
RIP Nan. I'll never stop loving you,your the wind beneath my wings. xx (link)
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Coherent, controlled and with an economy of words which is impressive at an age where the tendency is to 'go on a bit' and clutter the whole issue up with too much information. Yes I like it. Mature, clean and modern style. Few grammatical errors, but that's only criticising your execution...not the vision and concept. Which I like. The result of a personal loss? Can you empathise with someone elses
loss? One that hasn't touched you personally, and produce something like this? If you can, stick with the writing...for sure!
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As a 22 year old male, I feel ashamed and embarrassed about myself. I don't believe that I have any friends, a hint of a personality, or any redeeming thing about me. I have been fortunate enough to come from a loving, upper-middle class home and have been given many opportunities that most people could only dream of, so it makes me feel even worse that, despite these fortunate circumstances, I am still talent-less, useless, and friendless. If I were to god-forbid pass away tomorrow, people (other than relatives) would only come to my funeral if they feel obligated, not because I had any true impact on anybody other than my family. I don't know how I can improve my personality when I don't believe that I have much of one, and I'm not sure how to make friends or connections when I don't feel that I have any interests or abilities. How do I make something out of nothing (personality, talents)? (link)
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I can feel a hint of low self-esteem here more than anything. That classic acid-test...'who would cry at my funeral?' leads me to this assumption. How do we define abilities? How do we quantify personality? Who measures impact? Few people have, or will ever have a profound impact on the world at large. A close circle of true friends and of course family are about par for most of us. At 22, what you're looking at in despair is NOT the horizon, it's simply the edge of the rut you're in at present. All things being equal you have a great many years stretching ahead of you. Alive with any number of possibilities. Some engineered, some simply dropping in your lap. Good times, bad times. Sociable periods, solitary periods. Nobody is a 'personality void'. It's being built day-by-day. This current introspective mood is fashioning your personality as we speak. Save a very few, none of us will influence many, and a sensible man doesn't try. Emerging from this rut is both the easiest, and the hardest thing in the world. Easy because no-one will even try to foil your attempt, hard because your own self-doubt and feelings of insignificance are keeping you well and truly in it. Conquer the self-doubt and you're on the path. In a purely practical piece of advice...nobody really enjoys the company of a gloomy, depressed person. Except other gloomy, depressed individuals. Try not to let your search for connections surround you with 'lame ducks' for want of a better word, and compare 'miserable notes' with them. We mostly enjoy a spark of wit and a smile. There's nothing at all keeping you in this position and frame of mind you dislike so much. Beware of this low self-esteem. It'll keep you from joining the party even when you see all the guests there having fun. You're wondering what to bring to the party at the moment? OK, if there's really nothing...bring a mirror! Reflect the personality of those you wish to impress back onto themselves. A powerful tool this one! Nobody can control or influence events external to themselves. But you are captain of your ship and master of your fate in THIS one. Best of luck for the New Year.
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