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Am I really this jaded? How do I get past this?
25/f. I warn you, this is going to sound very conceited, but I swear I'm not trying to be. I apologize in advance for the French, but there are some things best expressed in alternate languages. Regardless, I need advice...
I'm going into clinical psychology. I love it with a passion, and helping people truly is my raison d'etre. All my life I've wanted to make a difference, if only in one person's day. I'm working in my field, kind of, and this past Monday I had my first case turn sour, and I feel like I completely failed the family. Realistically and logically, I'm aware that the situation was out of my control, and there was nothing I could've done to intervene, but it's tough. I still feel terrible about it and I can't stop thinking about it.
In addition to this, all week it seems like things in my friends' and family's lives have been going downhill, and everyone has been turning to me for support.
Today, I got pretty confrontational with a dear friend when discussing her recent life denouement. She responded well to it because my friends know I'm the person to turn to for blunt "this-is-how-it-is" advice, not comfort, but I just feel so... jaded, I guess. Like everything and everyone is very predictable, and I'm tempted to just not bother with other people. It's very difficult for me to find motivation for my job, too.
On top of this, my most recent relationship (predictably) ended at the end of January thanks to a large mental age-gap, selfishness, and other various issues. I feel fine about it. It just didn't work, and while I hoped X, Y, and Z wouldn't happen, I saw it coming. See what I mean? (No, it wasn't a self-fulfilling prophecy issue, at least not on my end.)
I'm not even sure what my question is. I suppose I'm just hoping for some words of encouragement, or something.
Thank you to all who respond...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Since the field interests you, I'm sure you're aware that there is no 'standard reaction' and that we are all formed in character by myriad experiences and influences, each in some way unique to each individual. No text-book in human psychology. No general case, each being particular in some way. So perhaps the only thing that is truly predictable is the sheer unpredicatbility of human nature? It's accepted too that although there is a theroretical 'normal' person there are no 'normal people'. Is it not? Only 'compensated' (have acknowledged their deviations from the theoretical norm and act conciously to correct it) and 'uncompensated' (those who are unaware of the tendency, or refuse in some way to acknowledge and correct). I know, you're armed with more knowledge than many. Perhaps a little more understanding, the ability to see their fears and anxieties as part of a bigger picture? And of course you want to 'step-in' as it were and take control of the situation? But of course, that is something neither you, nor anyone can do. In fact, it's not about you at all is it? It's about them. Your job is perhaps to use your abilities to weigh-up the situation, analyse, offer-up alternatives. To guide only. You haven't got a magic wand. Try not to let 'failiure' deter you or take the edge off your resolve and will. Since there is no winning-post anyway, is failiure even the right word? And remember that much of what you say may have merely put a 'seed' in someones mind, the first glimmer of an idea. One which may, at the right time grow into something of greater power. A guaranteed instant fix would be nice wouldn't it? Be a little careful about 'blunt' though. Some closed doors need the subtle art of a locksmith to open them, not a sledgehammer! And keep in mind that 'the way it is' is sujective, not always objective and very rarely absolute. The two-dimensional approach is something common in young children, but as you're no doubt aware can persist long into adult life in the intellect that has failed to mature and clings to a black/white, good/bad polarisation of any and all situations. This is perhaps one of the most recursive tendencies you will be 'up against' in those you want to help. There must be no trace of such over-simplifcation in YOU! Best wishes, and keep on keeping on!
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