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Feeling Friendless and Useless
As a 22 year old male, I feel ashamed and embarrassed about myself. I don't believe that I have any friends, a hint of a personality, or any redeeming thing about me. I have been fortunate enough to come from a loving, upper-middle class home and have been given many opportunities that most people could only dream of, so it makes me feel even worse that, despite these fortunate circumstances, I am still talent-less, useless, and friendless. If I were to god-forbid pass away tomorrow, people (other than relatives) would only come to my funeral if they feel obligated, not because I had any true impact on anybody other than my family. I don't know how I can improve my personality when I don't believe that I have much of one, and I'm not sure how to make friends or connections when I don't feel that I have any interests or abilities. How do I make something out of nothing (personality, talents)?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I can feel a hint of low self-esteem here more than anything. That classic acid-test...'who would cry at my funeral?' leads me to this assumption. How do we define abilities? How do we quantify personality? Who measures impact? Few people have, or will ever have a profound impact on the world at large. A close circle of true friends and of course family are about par for most of us. At 22, what you're looking at in despair is NOT the horizon, it's simply the edge of the rut you're in at present. All things being equal you have a great many years stretching ahead of you. Alive with any number of possibilities. Some engineered, some simply dropping in your lap. Good times, bad times. Sociable periods, solitary periods. Nobody is a 'personality void'. It's being built day-by-day. This current introspective mood is fashioning your personality as we speak. Save a very few, none of us will influence many, and a sensible man doesn't try. Emerging from this rut is both the easiest, and the hardest thing in the world. Easy because no-one will even try to foil your attempt, hard because your own self-doubt and feelings of insignificance are keeping you well and truly in it. Conquer the self-doubt and you're on the path. In a purely practical piece of advice...nobody really enjoys the company of a gloomy, depressed person. Except other gloomy, depressed individuals. Try not to let your search for connections surround you with 'lame ducks' for want of a better word, and compare 'miserable notes' with them. We mostly enjoy a spark of wit and a smile. There's nothing at all keeping you in this position and frame of mind you dislike so much. Beware of this low self-esteem. It'll keep you from joining the party even when you see all the guests there having fun. You're wondering what to bring to the party at the moment? OK, if there's really nothing...bring a mirror! Reflect the personality of those you wish to impress back onto themselves. A powerful tool this one! Nobody can control or influence events external to themselves. But you are captain of your ship and master of your fate in THIS one. Best of luck for the New Year.
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Hi. I feel the same as you too. Ive never really had a lot of friends. Dont go out much or anything. I only have one friend who moved away overseas so the people who I hang out with are my sisters, parents & other family members.
Are you working? I found getting a job helps & you get to meet more people too. I dont work with anyone my age as they are twice my age but you get to go to work events which can be fun.
But if you need a friend, I'm here for you so pm me anytime :)
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I am 27, I don't have many friends either. This does not make you odd or unusual.
Judging from what you have written, You are smart and well educated. Not many people have the brains to sit here and word something as good as you just did. So, talent-less? I would say not.
On another note, If I could I would be glad too be your friend. You seem like the kind of guy who is easy too talk too. Sometimes in order to make these friends we have to be the ones to make the first approach. I am one of those people, I am extremely shy until someone starts too talk to me. We all have something we are good at, we just have to search for it. ;)
Want to talk more? Email me
One.last.breath.for.2013@Gmail.com
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I know how you feel. I think everyone feels a little worthless sometimes.I know I do. You might not have a lot of friends or any but that doesn't mean you have people that will care. Personality isn't everything...sometimes people just have too much...in your case maybe too little? Nothing you cant fix.
Maybe you can start collecting something, stamps,snaple tea bottle caps(have interesting facts on the inside top..pretty cool). When i have this problem i got a kitten and name it and i take care of it and love on it. Maybe if you like animals you could get a trutle, dog, cat, bird,lizzard,snake, chicken, duck, or other and take care of it..that way you know something cares for you as much as you care for it...it makes you happy and you make it happy!
Maybe you could go to a club, park, bowling alley, starbucks, mall, store, cool hangout, and meet people and get more friends.
Get online and look up hobbies or cool things to do on free time to take stress off of you! Thats what the internet is somewhat here for! LOL
I hope i helped and good luck!(:
your friend Lenore.
p.s. sorry i typed so much..i just want to help.
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