Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
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Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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Every time I screw up, I feel bad about it and can't stop. I'll make it up to whoever I wronged, they'll forgive me, and more time will pass, but I still feel bad about it.
Like today, my car's got a problem with it's wheel bearing, so I'm sharing my mom's. I was supposed to keep my cell phone around, so when my mom was ready to leave work, she could call me to come get her. I ran an annoying, last minute errand that I shouldn't have had to run and took my phone with me in case she called. Then, like an idiot, I forgot it in the car when I got home and missed her call.
She called 24 times over the course of an hour and I didn't hear it. I don't know why I didn't think to make sure I had my phone around and she ended up having to call my elderly grandfather, who has poor mobility, for a ride. I feel so bad.
My mom forgave me and tried to cheer my up by saying she might take me for a movie and ice cream tomorrow. I LOVE movies and ice cream. I've seen the movie she wants to take me to and have always said I can't wait to see it again. I'm like a little kid when it comes to ice cream, especially at the place that she wants to get it at. I absolutely ADDICTED to it, but all I can think is, "Why would she want to do that for me? I don't deserve it."
This is just an example. I can forgive others, but I can't forgive myself. Why do you think that is and what can I do about it? (link)
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Try to think about how much of your life you spend beating yourself up over things that are so minor like the example you gave? do you REALLY want to spend your days here on earth downing on yourself for something someone already forgave you about? that seems kinda unproductive do you think?
this is an issue youll have to learn to move on from. not EVERYTHING is ALWAYS your fault. thats just ridiculous.
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well first i'm 23 and he's only 20. i walked away from my ex because he was being extremely needy and i just needed space at the time being that i had a full time job and going to school full time, i was just exhausted and he didn't really help. anyway, when i left he pretty much said that i treated him like crap the whole time (which is pretty true) and he was through. so i just said "ok, sorry you feel that way bye!" and left it at that. well i'm not a fan of social media but my friend said that i should get on twitter and see this page he made that deals with thoughts/quotes/advice on chivalry and such. well i did and it broke my heart because everything he post is about me. even on my birthday when we weren't talking he said happy birthday. but all the quotes are talking about how much he misses me yet he has me completely blocked. i tried calling through *67 but he answered and hung up and won't answer again. i really regret the way i treated him but he won't give me the chance to apologize and make it work, what do i do? :/ i'm in college so i live in a different state right now so i can't just show up and be like heyyyy. (link)
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well can you get a friend to talk to him? maybe someone the two of you know mutually? sometimes guys will do this kinda stuff as a defense because their just soo hurt and dont know how to tell you.
obviously if everything he writes on his twitter is about YOU then he must have had feelings beyond words for you. when you called he probably hung up just to keep himself from crying. He doesnt know what your gonna say if he allows a conversation to take place so hes just avoiding you all together.
it sounds like hes REALLY hurt. so if you can try to get someone to personally talk to him. even if they do it and he doesnt want to hear it, once something is said it cannot be unheard. so have someone try to push through to him and then let him sit on what they said for a while. Then let him decide what he wants to do.
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(No category fit this well) Okay so first I'm 15 and im not sure whats been up with me lately. Anyways I have been shutting out some of the closest people I have in my life and I have been mean and rude to the ones who mean the world to me. Like right now I feel like inside my emotions are swirling around and I just get upset I feel frustrated and that there's no hope. I'm not even sure what its pointed at honestly! I have a perfect boyfriend but its long distance which helps me focus on school. My dad and mom and that entire family is total mess that's why I've left and I'm staying with my grandmother. She is a spectacular person she's been there for me when no one else was. She saved my life 3 years ago I was in a depressions I supposes because of my family. I wanted and tried to commit suicide but she helped me realize that killing myself over their actions is ridiculous! That I shouldn't waste my life for them. I'm not sure if that for some reason my "sadness" is coming back or what. I just need some advice on what to do sorta. As in do you think this should just chalk up to hormones going crazy. Or do you think stress could be like bringing back the feeling I had. Also my other thing I need advice on is how do I stop it this time. I do not want to kill my self or anything I know that but I don't want to go back to being sad and depressed. I'm not sure what to do at this point anymore. I want to stop shutting my loved ones out I want to uve happy again. So any advice available? Just making sure you all know this again, this is not the type where I need you guys to say "oh no death is never the answer" I already know that. I just need advice on these things I'll make it simple.
1- what should I do to be happy again?
2- how do I stop shutting them out?
3- what do you think could be causing this?
Thanks for any advice I'll appreciate anything !!! (link)
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First off, it sounds like youve been through some troubling times and feeling sad over that is totally normal. if you feel like you just cant seem to get passed it, then you should see if you can get some counseling.
next: what you could try to do to be happy again is just doing the things you love to do! go outside and get some fresh air! ride a bike, go out with friends or people who you know have always cared for you and try to be open minded. you could always do things that you dont need another person for too! like reading, or gardening, find some awesome plants youve always like and try buying some for yourself and see if you can take care of it! just for fun!
lastly try to be patient with your family members, they cant read your mind and are only reacting to what your doing. they dont know how to help you with anything your suffering through if you wont tell them. also your a teenager, so yes hormonal changes making you feel this way or that CAN come into play here. but just do things that make you happy even if it seems stupid. it will get you through for right now until things change. ;
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I've been living with my family for my 16 years of existence. However I lived with my 2nd parents since when I was born up to age 13 coz they had no child and my real parents' house is just next to ours so I really know them. And now I moved to my real parents' house. It's just really weird because sometimes when my mom talks to me I stare at her and ask to myself who is she and I say to myself I can't believe that this woman is my mom without any reason. She is really good mom. I also unexpectedly do that to my 2nd mom and even my dads. I experienced this i think since last year idk I can't remember much. And now I started to worry because I don't go out to my room I just write stuffs, articles and blog and my mom told me that i have a mental illness when she yelled that I'm so lazy. And also rarely when I look at the mirror sometimes I can't even recognize myself or I doubt if is it me, then I doubt if my body belongs to mine. I'm scared about this. And also when I wash my face I forget to turn off the faucet but still rarely. And also one time, when me and my sister were talking, I didn't comprehend what she was talking because I'm seeing her like I'm on tv because she was a far (i hope you get what I meant) but she was not really far from me, she was just a meter from me i think. and also last time when my dad scolded me while he was cooking, I'm seeing him like he was on a frame because I saw him from a far but still he was just few metres away from me and also there was no frame I saw in him literally, I just saw him like he was on frame. Please help me because I can't understand. I know there is no wrong with me because I'm healthy and I'm smart, yeh I'm different from other teens. I don't want this to tell to my parents because they would think im crazy which is am not. I don't want to see a doctor or a psychiatrist because I'm really really afraid I might not be able to get into the medicine school. However, I'm planning to tell this to my 2nd dad about this because I'm super close to him than any other parents but that would be in 4 months because he isn't here. I've researched something about this and I doubt it is a multiple personality disorder. But i dont want to accept that disorder because i dont have it. Please help me. I dont have any other person to ask to because my 2nd dad isn't home yet. Pls im worried coz im going to college and it might affect me much. Thnk you. (link)
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ok it sounds to me like you might need some counseling. if your looking in the mirror and dont recognize yourself, your zoning out while other people are talking to you are you thinking about other things while that happens? or do you feel like your having a day dream? if youve been really stressed out or been through a traumatic experience and didnt deal with it, then i think you should talk to which ever parent you closest to and ask them if they could arrange for you to get some help because of whats happening with you. Isolating yourself up in your room isnt helping things either. people have gone crazy because of it.
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Hi guys, am new here and i am also new to been a Christian. My parents are out and i just learnt the story of Joseph from the children's bible. I do not know why Joseph was sold into slavery. Can someone help me with that?
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why dont you just google it? lol. the internet has a world of answers.
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Hello i am a 17 year old girl who is having a relationship crisis. I am really good friends with a girl who is one year older than me. We have been friend for quite a while now. I am very nice, loyal and trustworthy. I consider myself a people pleaser because I worry about other peoples happiness then me being happy my self. We are such good friends the we can literally predict on how we will react and what we will say. We care allot about each other that we will call ourselves sisters.
But a few months into our friendship She told me a small lie about her being friends with a spirit named Atem. Even though I did not buy it I told her I believed it just to be nice and for the sake of getting into an argument. I also began to see another side of her... I got to see her need and craving to constantly date someone. If she is single she will be depressed and very emotional. And since I am the phone with her all the time I end up hearing it. i began getting stressed and sad that i could not do anything to help her.
She than said that Atem her (her spirit friend)made a new friend named Nightmare, and she told me he loved me. She would talk to me about how much he loved me. I started to get the idea that she liked me, and began to like her a little.
Later on she made a Facebook and Gaiaonline for him. I ended up seeing him on the internet. I did not know what to think or do about him loving on me on the internet. I then started to have feelings for her. But at the same time i was confused, because she would tell me how much she hated bi/and les people. She would rant about it allot.
She began acting romantic towards me at her house. She would lick, pin and touch me (not in a very sexual way) she told me on the later that "Nightmare" was possessing her. She would do this every single time i visit her. I began to really like her.
I then started to get depressed. It started to hurt seeing her sad about not being with someone, and i am not able to help her. It hurt even worse when i watched her dating someone and hearing how much she loved him. I feel like i am not good enough for her, and it's very hard to hold in all my emotions so she wont know how i feel.
I sometimes consider just stop hanging out with her, but a part of me just cant let go of her because i am horrible at making friends and I don't think I will ever find a good friend like her. I really want to tell her i knew the spirit thing was all a lie and how i feel about her. But I am afraid that she will get mad at me or even worse, hate me.
Its all my fault for believing her little lie. I was just trying to be nice, and I get myself all into this mess. I get so depressed every day to the point were i want to cry and I sometimes wish that I could just sleep my whole life. I cant take it anymore. I am hurting so bad on the inside. I am tired of living a lie. :(
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Ok, sweetie, lets brake down what youve said and take it one step at a time because this sounds like culmination of things all mixed up here.
First off, even if she is your best friend, it isnt your place to take on her problems and allow them to eat at you in the way they do. you have your own life and your stuff you need to worry about without taking on other peoples issues too. no sane person can life a decent healthy life like that. which is probably why your feeling so badly right now. you cant live her life for her, or make life choices for her. you can feel badly for her and try to give her advice and be there for her but you cant lead a horse to water and make them drink. ever heard that statement?
Next, her saying the things she said about having an imaginary friend could have been a few things. It could have been to test you to see how far she could push you as a person to see how loyal you will be to her no matter what even if she goes on talking about crazy things. thats signs of the beginning of a manipulative person because then she\'ll know she can tell you anything and youll just go with it. when she doesnt have a boy, your her puppet.
secondly, her talking about how she hates gays but is willing to lick and or tackle you and cross boundaries like that doesnt exactly scream \"im straight\" either so if your not comfortable with it just tell her nicely. if you dont your allowing her to walk all over you and be her door mat. thats not a friendship.
sometimes people that talk all kinds of smack about gays are secretly really either gay themselves or arent sure of themselves sexually yet and just dont want anyone to know because they fear that it shows when it doesnt. (i grew up around alot of gays)
If shes saying things like \"what they do is disgusting\" and all this, tell her that if shes thinking about what two people do behind the privacy of their own walls when no one is around then shes the sick one\" ((that usually shuts them up))
its also \"not all your fault\" YOU cannot control how people act no matter how hard you try to please, there are just some people out there that no matter what you do will be good enough for them, it will never make them \"happy\" or \"act right\" so its better you learn this sooner rather then later. we are all a product of the environment we grew up in, and we\'re all a work in progress. if you dont like where she is in life right now then stop hanging out with her for a while and just give her some space. she sounds a little \"off\" mentally, and you sound like you need some more normality in your life right now.
lastly if she wants to call you to talk about her issues or whatever, just let her vent and talk and respond with lots of \"uhuh\", yeah, wow, idk what to say\" and try to stay neutral so you dont upset her. if you can build up the balls to call her out on the things she lied about do it and let her know that \"that really wasnt cool\"
sure you might lose her but is she really the kind of person you want in your life anyway? its better to have a few close friends then dysfunctional ones.
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for a while now and he's asked me if I would like to have sex with him, we are both at the legal age of 16. I want to do this but I don't feel confident at all with my body, I'm not sure how he would want me to look. I feel embarresed about doing it and if it would be awkward, what do I do? Just sit there and let him do the work? I'm not sure if he would want me to shave or not, I would have sex with him but I'm just not confident yet, I feel as if I am ready, I want to be confident!
Someone please help me! :) (link)
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first off i just wanna say that when you shave hair it does NOT grow back thicker, thats a myth, i went to cosmetology school and its absolutely NOT true, it only looks thicker because the razor cuts the hair shaft at an angle, leaving the root of the hair still intact and it grows back always the same length and ALWAYS itchy as hell because thats not the way hair naturally grows back in. secondly WAXING lasts way longer, it rips the hair from its root out completely, forcing the skin to have to totally rebuild a new root and THEN hair. last about three and a half months depending on how fast your hair grows. Ive done it myself since beauty school and i would NEVER go back to any other way.
NOW. Its totally normal to be a little anxious, just get under the covers in the bed and keep your top on. most first time encounters are purely just to see what its like to be with another person, so buy some lube so it doesnt hurt, def. wear a condom because one of you could have something and not even KNOW it sometimes (it happens). if hes on top of you, you wont have to do anything just lay there, and tell him to go slow. youll probably end up doing it a couple times together during that time together (thats what usually happens from what i hear from others about the first timers) thats ok though just make sure if he wants to go again that he makes sure your ok with it.
If you feel like in your head \"this doesnt feel right, this isnt how i pictured my first time with a man\" then dont do it. when its right and you feel you KNOW he really loves you, then what your bodies look likes wont matter. having sex is just one more way of showing the other person you love them enough to make a huge leap by taking off all your clothes and letting them be with you during such a vulnerable moment. I almost did it with a guy when i was younger. he wanted to do it, and i care for him alot but it just didnt feel right, and when i told him i needed a little more time he just up and stopped talking to me. if the guy loves you he\'ll give you more time because he wont feel right trying to force you. HE\'LL want it to feel right too. good luck sweetie.
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What is 69 i need help because he wants to do it. (link)
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imagine your man laying on his back, then you get on top of him with your face where his penis is and your vagina where his face is, and you both pleasure each other with your mouth at the same time.
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I have a 2009 Ford.
Its completely paid for. Big positive.
But it needs mechanical work. Big negative.
Big leak in the transmission (estimate of $1500 - $3000).
Needs new tires (2 x $125).
Minor body work (estimate $500).
And the car gets awful gas mileage, 14- 16 miles per gallon, $50 every 5 days in gasoline.
82,000 miles. Estimated appraisal of car would be $8500-12,000.
Despite these negatives, I love this car.
Very comfortable - fun to drive - roomy - large trunk - excellent leg and head room - great heat / air - great sound system.
My options are to make bare basic repairs to the car in order to sell / trade it in, OR make full repairs and keep the car for a 5+ years.
Would the money spent on the car repairs be better spent on a deposit for a new car...? Then I will have a car payment, which I don't have now.
Would a basic repair job on the cars transmission and light body work improve my trade in value...? Trade in's are based on the cars value at auction, right?
I'd like to make a decision within a month. I welcome everyones point of view.
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ok, ive gone through five cars in my time, and we have to really take this situation apart and examine it. first off you need to ask yourself, \"is loving your car that doesnt even get what my 1998 mini van gets worth having to spend what looks like adds up to quite a bit of cash?
(i have a 6 passenger mini van getting 17 on roads and 23 highway!), what kinda ford is it??
Is the estimated value of the car from a website? or did you actually take it to a car place to have it inspected to see what it could be worth personally?
next: do you know your car well enough to do any of the maintenance yourself?? cause that would save you a TON because of labor. By this i mean basic and preventive maintenance I.E. oil changing, and fluids? can you change parts yourself? battery, alternator, fan belt? because if you plan on keeping a car that has not only the issues yours has, but that is as old as yours IS, you will need to be prepared for anything. youll need to keep and eye on all fluids, and when its time to change THOSE and your tires. If you are prepared to become \"REALLL CLOSE\" with your car then i\'d say go ahead and keep it and good luck with everything, but when it comes to major issues like the tranny slipping, leaking, thats going to cost you ALL AT ONCE what a newer cars payment per month would cost you over time.
if you love the car and are determined to keep it, i\'d say start buying USED tires so that you can replace them all at once (not retreads but slightly used tires) buy a fuel additive to the gas tank to keep the car burning gas properly so that you get EVERY PENNY out of what you put in the tank, always keep an eye on the fluids under the hood, like oil coolant, etc. watch your belts, make sure you change your OWN oil because youll need to make sure you buy a higher quality then what most oil changers offer, and just be as observant as you can so you can catch any problems before they get really bad. start changing your own brake pads so you can choose which ones you want. and use this car to LEARN how to fix cars basically. theres gonna be alot of \"first time i ever changed this or that\" with this car. so get ready. ive been through this more times then i can count now. good luck.
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Okay so im 18 i just turned 18 3 days ago (April 21) & nobody came to my birthday party , nobody told me happy birthday , happy late birthday or anything.
I'm a senior in highschool and nobody talks to me i sit alone at lunch and it's so awkward. I'm a black kid. around 240 pounds & i'm 6'6 any i'm not chubby i have some muscles. and kids who are overweight have friends. I text people and they ignore it and when im in class i hate when the teacher says partner up with somebody cause nobody partners up with me , i'm not a weird person. i dress very nice , i have a great personality but nobody will ever know. people say go make other friends.. but i tried. every single person i try to talk to ignores me and gives me this "why are you talking to me" face.
I haven't even had a girlfriend.. haven't had my first kiss , i haven't even hugged a girl. nobody has came and hanged out with me since. even in middle school. people say nobody that they want ever texts them... but i think in my mind they're lucky.. i wish people would even think about texting me. It's been 14 months since i've gotten a text. When i sit on the bus back home nobody talks to me i just sit in the back and listen to my music. while everybody is in the front just living it up.. I couldn't even go to prom since if i went i'd just be there by myself with nobody attempting to talk to me.
Sorry for venting but i don't know what im doing wrong . like i even to twitter and tried to make friends and nobody even talks to me. i even wrote a girl who i knew who was like my only friend a poem and i would give her goodnight, goodmorning messages and i bought her stuff for her birthday and everything. and outta nowhere a year ago she ignored me and everysince i've never had a friend. she was my only one.. i just need some advice how can i cope with this? :/ (link)
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ok heres a few routes you can try that i can think of RIGHT NOW that could help. do you have any hobbies, or like to do anything? you could hang out with people that like doing what YOU like so you have a common interest. You could also go online to forums and start chatting with people that live in close proximity to you that like doing the same things. after a while you could grow close and then meet up with them in person, and youve got an instant friendship! i and many people i know have done this and stayed in touch with those people years down the line. Kids in school and sometimes high school can be awkward and sometimes a bit judgmental toward others because their still discovering who THEY are as a person, so theres alot of inner-turmoil going on inside them that you may THINK is just them not liking you but its not always the case. Try not to take it too personally. GROWN, MATURE adults typical dont act this way and will try to be at the very least \"civil\" with you even if they dont consider you a real friend. Thats always a good place to start, because a friendship can blossom from there once they\'ve given you a chance. you DO have to be patient with some people though. not everyone has the same temperament as you.
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I am a 22 year old female and I just contracted genital herpes about 2 months ago. I am taking daily medication for it, and always use condoms, and would never have sex with any present sores. I read that with daily suppressive therapy and condom use, there is about a 1-2% chance of passing herpes from female to male, including shedding.
If it is that tiny of a risk that I would pass it to my current partner, what is the point of telling him I have it? Also, 80% of people who have herpes dont know they have it, and therefore are not taking any medication, making it a lot less risky to have sex with me than just some random girl, especially with such a low percentage of me passing it anyways. So, without lecturing me, please give me a legit reason why I should tell my partner?? If you were in my shoes, would you?
Thanks! (link)
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I would still tell him because this isnt about you. You should at least give the knowledge to be able to make the decision if he wants to continue to have sex with you or not. even if the chance is low i would still be mad at my partner if they even think to tell me and then let ME make that choice. Sure ignorance is bliss but do you want him to potentially find out one day somehow, and then resent you later? if your one treatment and what not that why CANT you just tell him then? just tell him in a calm and collected way that you have it and that your doing treatment and that the chances of him getting are low. you dont need to go into details about not having sex when you have open sores, those questions can come later, and sure it make take some of the romance outta things but he deserves to know the truth anyway, and he wont ever be able to say that you wernt ever totally honest with him. ; ) good luck sweetie.
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I had a dream about this boy I know that lives in my area. He's very nice polite and always comes up to greet me when he sees me however he's only 16 and Im 24 and I had a dream that I was in love with him. It freaks me out I feel like a pedophile what should I do?
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Yup like the others said, your dreams are actually very symbolic. the dream probably doesnt mean what your actually SEEING, there could be something ABOUT the boy IE his personality, his youthfulness, his friendliness that makes your brain put him in that particular dream. im actually psychic and i get my messages through my dreams (runs in all the women on my dads side of the family) so i know quite a bit in this department. You are NOT gross for him being in your dream, and your not \"in love with him\" theres probably just something ABOUT him you really love, but that doesnt mean anything. try to think about how and what you were feeling during the dream. your brain has a way of showing you things that will inspire feelings in order to get a message across to you about something. before you open your eyes in the morning after youve had a dream try to lay there for a few moments longer and rewind in your head like a tape what that dream was about and what happened during it. try to remember as much as you can EVERYTIME you have a dream, and soon youll be able to recall your dreams with no problems flat! good luck.
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19/f bf also this age
I've been with my bf for six months now. We see each other once a week or once every two weeks.
Recently, I've been starting to feel dis-satisfied with the relationship-even sometimes looking at other guys. My bf is nice, sweet, and fairly generous, but he isn't as caring as he could be and sometimes I don't find him attractive at all.
I'm his first relationship and I feel he's really clingy as well. Like talking about our lives together and he bought me teddy bears (2) and shocked me by saying "Just like our own little family".
I know this is typical for a first relationship-but its not my first relationship.
I don't want to break up with him, because I'm prepared to try things again.I want advice on how to tell him how to improve (in a nice way, obviously) Thnks (link)
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Ok, your not seeing enough of him thats for sure because if you HAD been, you would have realized alot sooner that hes not for you. lol. Secondly it sounds like in your subconscience your just not SURE about him, or if hes your cup of tea compatibility wise, but if you hardly ever see him then how would you really know for SURE? people need ore time together to get to know one another and you cant really maintain a relationship being together so seldomly like this. you might as well just be distance FRIENDS while your at it.
What you could do is try asking him when you sitting together ALONE somewhere, how he feelings about you because your feeling like you care about him lots but your not sure. (dont let him actually answer when you ask during that \"how do you feel\" part, it\'ll give time to think about what to say next and prepare himself for what to say back once your finished talking. this will let YOU get your feelings out on the table first. lastly he doesnt come off as clingy if you guys only see each other only every week or so, not even THAT. he sounds like a normal guys thats just really smitten with you and wants more time with you.
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I'm 23 he's 22.
We've been dating for a little over a year but we've been friends for 8 years.
Lately, we have just been fighting incessantly. We can't even be on the phone for 10 minutes without wanting to kill each other. He swears he's not seeing anyone but the way he's acting makes me think otherwise. We usually fight but not to this extent. Usually when we fight he'll call back and apologize and be sweet and we'll get over it. But lately he seems like he's just saying and doing anything to hurt me and then goes to bed without any regard to my feelings. I'm not usually a person who cries in front of him but that's the only way I can get him to stop being mean to me. He will continuously poke at me to get a response, at the beginning of our relationship we agreed to not cuss at each other because it's disrespectful but now he's doing it nonstop and calling me a b****. I can't talk to him about our problems without him just giving me responses like "ok, whatever, and you're not?, and you don't?" I just wanna yell at him and be like give me some emotion!!! but it's no use. I didn't get into nursing school and all he had to say was "that's not the only one in america...." :/ is it time to end things and move on? What can I do? (link)
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Yeah this relationship is over is neither one of you is willing to just A:stop nit picking at each other over things, and B: not communicating the right way. Its kinda funny cause YOU feel hes not communicating the way YOU like, yet your willing to use a feeling you dont have by communicating with another (tears) so your both doing each other wrong. just say \"OK THATS IT!! WHAT IS REALLYYYY GOING ON HERE CAUSE IM GETTING MIGHTY TIRED OF THE FIGHTING AND NIT PICKING SERIOUSLY ENOUGH ALREADY!\" then just stand there and let him say something back and see what you get. see if his answer sounds creditable and REAL, and if it does then find the closest chair and sit down and talk about it. let HIM tell you how hes feeling, and dont judge, jump interrupt, just say \"uhuh....yeah\", \"ok i hear what your saying but you acting like a d-i-c-k, isnt making things better around here, its just gonna make me more angry and then i cant support you the way you need because your just pushing me away. heres the secret here ok? all those statements i just gave you are general enough that they will work on almost ANYONE thats doing these kinds of things. so you SHOULD get some kind of genuine response from him. Try also having small civil conversations with him, show him that your still interested in his life and you enough to ask him when he walks in the door how hes doing. ask him how his day at work was, or when YOUR eating, ask him if her wants some too, then get him to sit down at the same table with you so you can get him to talk to you. when your out and one of you buys food for the other, try saying thank you and giving him a peck. its the small things that will show him that you WANT to be there for him but that his current behavior is totally unexceptionable. im also married to my best friend of 12 years and EVERY DAY, EVERY TIME he buys me food i say thank you still. This will also show him what he\'ll be missing out on if he continues to act like this. ; ) good luck
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and it was an amazing 3 years. We always know how to make each other laugh and each other happy. We love and care for each other very much. About a few days ago, he came to me and wanted to talk. He told me he was re-evaluating his life and wanted to take a break from the relationship so he could "find" himself. He said also he needed some change. I know this break is meant to help us be able to go out and enjoy life without worrying about the other but it really hurts and it's really hard on me. He said that the spark between us was there still but it just wasn't kindling like it should. What makes me more upset about this "break" is he wanted this beautiful necklace back that he gave me for Christmas last year. I'm not sure what to do and honestly this break hurts me more than it is helping. I don't want to seem desperate but I really miss my best friend and I wish he knew that. (link)
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first off NO, he does not get the necklace back, it was a gift fair and square. whatever B.S. reason he has for wanting it back just say \"NOPE, you should have thought of that BEFORE you gave it to me SORRY\" ; )
secondly, YES after a while \"the rose\" can \"fall off the bloom\" relationship wise and thats when the real layers of people can start to show and that can be a scary time. maybe he was scared off by that? idk.
From what you said HE said, it sounds like he was just \"having fun\" and now that things are getting the slightest bit serious he wants out. In what WAY is he feeling like he needs to \"re-evaluate\" things? and why cant you be there with him, by his side to help him do that? if not as a gf but a best friend? who said that your all the sudden no longer good for helping with issues hes having? you should be number one for this stuff. These are the things that would be going through MY mind at least.
why dont you wait it out and see if he comes to you. dont call him. dont text. lets see if hes really serious about your relationship EVEN through all this \"re-evaluating\" hes doing. ; ) good luck sweetie.
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Im 16. My boyfriend is 17. We've been together on and off for a year and 2 months. His ex girlfriend asked him to prom because shes a senior and needs a date. They dated abt 2 or 3 years ago and he claims they want to be on a friend level. Im not sure how to take them going to prom together. I wanted to be his only prom date. He understands where im coming from but he said hes thinking about going. I don't feel comfortable with it. What should I do?? (link)
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Hell yeah, i agree with the others on this. i would tell him go ahead and take her, but i wont be here for you when you come back. He is showing that he takes your relationship with him lightly and that your not number one. so why would you stay with a guy like that? its one thing to just be friends with her and still know her, but to be doing something like that is a life milestone for teens that usually COUPLES do together. (although i know that \"friends\" can go to prom too) but why isnt he thinking of when you and HIM are gonna go?
Is she just trying to impress her girlfriends by having a boy toy on her arm when she goes to prom? or maybe she just wants one more chance to be alone with him to see if she can re-spark what she thought they had along time ago. prom is a PERFECT place for that to happen and WORK. so i wouldnt allow it one bit.
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I'm 14 and I've noticed that there is always this thick layer or white stuff, it's not gooey or slimey or wet. It's not inside my vagina but on the inside around my vulva, it's really embarrassing and I don't think I could tell mum or a doctor. I've always thought it could be toilet paper? Not sure.
Any ideas on what it is and how to get rid of it? (link)
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what you could do is maybe buy some baby wipes and keep them in the bathroom so when you go, you can also clean yourself with those. their gentle and wont aggravate things more just keep you clean, make sure your also changing your underwear often, 100 percent cotton undies are best and breathable for your \"downtown area\" if things cant breathe down there, it could get worse. lay off any panties that rub up in there too or skimpy for a while too. sometimes that helps. you might notice a change. also make sure your undies are washed properly, and lastly your laundry detergent can sometimes upset things down there, so always watch how your whites (aka socks and undies) are getting washed (always hot) try changing detergents too. ; ) good luck.
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So, I'm a 14 year old girl and I'm pretty sure this isn't normal. It's usually every morning I wake up with soaked underwear, it doesn't smell that nice either. During the day it's nit so bad but it's still happening, it's very uncomftable. I find that whenever I need to pee I all of a sudden become very desperate to go and I can't hold it in for that long and if I don't go I can't hold it in. I don't want to have to wear a panty liner or something like that, any ideas on what this could be?
I'm too scared to tell my parents about it as I would be embarrassed and I really don't want to have to go and see a doctor unless I really have to.
Thanks. (link)
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well im sorry to tell you this but if it smells down there then your going to have to go to the doctors anyway. it should NEVER have an \"odd\" or nasty smell. thats a number one sign directly from your \"downtown area\" that something is wrong. its normal to have SOME vaginal discharge in your undies, thats just your body keeping things clean inside you and expelling anything that could cause problems but you having trouble holding your pee isnt good either, that could be a UTI and its just gonna get worse or painful too. i would talk to your mom and get her to make a doctors appmt for you asap.
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so me and this girl have been friends since last year and we barely became close this year. we used to do everything together and I would have a blast but lately shes been saying stuff that she thinks it wont hurt me but it actually does and whenever were with our other friends shes really annoying but when its just hanging out shes perfectly fine. I wanna know if its just me being dumb and over thinking it or Is she really someone I should just let go at least for a little while ? we are both 13 females (link)
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well sometimes friends grow apart and theres sometimes nothing anyone can do about it but what you might try is when your out with your friends you can test her when she says something shitty. like:
her: ((mean comment))
You: \"ummm ouch, wtf girl?? whats with you today?\"
and just keep doing that everytime she says something thats mean, and later when you alone and can catch her for a moment, be like \"ok your not normally like this? whats REALLY going on? why did you have to say this infront of our friends??\" and see what she says back? maybe shes just really stressed over some other stuff and since your close to you she feels like she can lash out at you, cause if you havnt done anything wrong then why else would she act like that right?
maybe you could ask her if you did something to piss her off? (have this conversation when your alone of course) she may not wanna open up to you infront of other people.
just remember if you HAVE done something wrong in her eyes, just own it and say \"oh i didnt know you felt that way you shoulda told me sooner\" or something. if you really want to keep the friendship then you have to make sure your not accidently doing anything wrong too. good luck.
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My father is interested in gardening and he wants to make a garden in our home. My mom is not agreeing with him and she never gave him permit ions to grow any plan at home. So I am confused and need some ideas. Who can I manage this situation. (link)
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what do you mean by \"manage\" it? if shes damned determined to not let him have any plants in the house then its pretty much a lost cause. but you could get him a small container garden, if shes not allergic then she has no excuse for not letting him at least TRY to have something that MIGHT make him happy in life. god, she sounds selfish as hell. sorry thats just what im getting....
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