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How to be more confident in having sex?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a while now and he's asked me if I would like to have sex with him, we are both at the legal age of 16. I want to do this but I don't feel confident at all with my body, I'm not sure how he would want me to look. I feel embarresed about doing it and if it would be awkward, what do I do? Just sit there and let him do the work? I'm not sure if he would want me to shave or not, I would have sex with him but I'm just not confident yet, I feel as if I am ready, I want to be confident!
Someone please help me! :)
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first off i just wanna say that when you shave hair it does NOT grow back thicker, thats a myth, i went to cosmetology school and its absolutely NOT true, it only looks thicker because the razor cuts the hair shaft at an angle, leaving the root of the hair still intact and it grows back always the same length and ALWAYS itchy as hell because thats not the way hair naturally grows back in. secondly WAXING lasts way longer, it rips the hair from its root out completely, forcing the skin to have to totally rebuild a new root and THEN hair. last about three and a half months depending on how fast your hair grows. Ive done it myself since beauty school and i would NEVER go back to any other way.
NOW. Its totally normal to be a little anxious, just get under the covers in the bed and keep your top on. most first time encounters are purely just to see what its like to be with another person, so buy some lube so it doesnt hurt, def. wear a condom because one of you could have something and not even KNOW it sometimes (it happens). if hes on top of you, you wont have to do anything just lay there, and tell him to go slow. youll probably end up doing it a couple times together during that time together (thats what usually happens from what i hear from others about the first timers) thats ok though just make sure if he wants to go again that he makes sure your ok with it.
If you feel like in your head "this doesnt feel right, this isnt how i pictured my first time with a man" then dont do it. when its right and you feel you KNOW he really loves you, then what your bodies look likes wont matter. having sex is just one more way of showing the other person you love them enough to make a huge leap by taking off all your clothes and letting them be with you during such a vulnerable moment. I almost did it with a guy when i was younger. he wanted to do it, and i care for him alot but it just didnt feel right, and when i told him i needed a little more time he just up and stopped talking to me. if the guy loves you he'll give you more time because he wont feel right trying to force you. HE'LL want it to feel right too. good luck sweetie.
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Here's the thing...from reading what the other two advicenators said I get what they are saying BUT you said you feel you are ready you're just not confident. And it's like that for most girls. Let's face it, we're insecure creatures and sex the first time whether we're ready or think we are is awkward. One I wouldn't recommend shaving because when it comes back it's thicker. So if you can wax or get some sort of hair removal cream (that says you can use it down there) unless you have to shave but if you do end up shaving you might want to buy one of those bikini bump creams or something along those lines. And maybe before going the full way experiment with some other things sexually wise like oral, handjobs, fingering. because if you're not comfortable with all that you might just realize you really aren't ready. But if by doing those you figure out you are ready do whatever you want with the first time. If you don't feel comfortable with your body. You can wear a long tshirt, a dress, or a skirt. because you can leave all those on and still have sex.
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I'm sorry but I disagree with ShortandPunky. The feelings you're having are both normal and a warning bell that you are not yet ready for sexual intercourse with anyone. While it may be legal for you to consent to sex in your state your subconscious mind is saying wait. This is the part of your brain where the safety bells and warning systems are.
Trust me guys have the same thoughts when it comes to getting naked with a woman the first time. Until he is ready to accept his body for what it is he avoids being nude with anyone. You would be surprised at the number of letters we get concerning the appearance of sex organs from both boys and girls.
Short answer to these questions is when the time is right. Image is not important. If the love is right nothing else matters. Sex is all about love and relationships. Sexual relief can be had through masturbation. Boys your age are more likely looking for sexual relief and confuse love and lust. Your definition of love is more to what is in the dictionary. To a 16 year old boy the definition of love is closer to that of Lust.
My feeling is that the reason you are having these warning bells and doubts is that somewhere deep down you have questions about his sincerity.
At the end is a link to a website I have given to many girls like you. This site will help you know if you are ready for sex. I suggest you look at it before you decide to have sex.
If you do decide to have sex, first see your doctor for birth control pills. Under a federal law called HIPPA the doctor must prescribe this medication if you ask regardless of if you have parental permission. Now that you are older than 14 you have certain rights under this law one of which is the right to Birth Control. Just tell the doctor you want birth control meds. If asked if you have parental permission just say you are exercising your rights under HIPPA.
Next even if you are on birth control make sure he wears a condom. Condoms are not only a second line of pregnancy prevention the protect against many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Do not take his word for it that he is a virgin or that he is clean without an STD test. Hum using a condom is for your protection. No rubber no loving make that your motto.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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First thing is first if yall have been together for a very long time he already loves you for how you are so your body doesnt matter. Second it feels awkward sometimes painful when you dont shave. Next if you dont feel very comfy yet turn the lights off, and do it at night. If you dont want to be on top just let him know your feelings about certain things that you are nervous about the situation but you want to try. Last the most important piece of info wear protectection you are only 16 and it only takes one time to get pregnant! Good luck
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