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not sure what's going on with me??
(No category fit this well) Okay so first I'm 15 and im not sure whats been up with me lately. Anyways I have been shutting out some of the closest people I have in my life and I have been mean and rude to the ones who mean the world to me. Like right now I feel like inside my emotions are swirling around and I just get upset I feel frustrated and that there's no hope. I'm not even sure what its pointed at honestly! I have a perfect boyfriend but its long distance which helps me focus on school. My dad and mom and that entire family is total mess that's why I've left and I'm staying with my grandmother. She is a spectacular person she's been there for me when no one else was. She saved my life 3 years ago I was in a depressions I supposes because of my family. I wanted and tried to commit suicide but she helped me realize that killing myself over their actions is ridiculous! That I shouldn't waste my life for them. I'm not sure if that for some reason my "sadness" is coming back or what. I just need some advice on what to do sorta. As in do you think this should just chalk up to hormones going crazy. Or do you think stress could be like bringing back the feeling I had. Also my other thing I need advice on is how do I stop it this time. I do not want to kill my self or anything I know that but I don't want to go back to being sad and depressed. I'm not sure what to do at this point anymore. I want to stop shutting my loved ones out I want to uve happy again. So any advice available? Just making sure you all know this again, this is not the type where I need you guys to say "oh no death is never the answer" I already know that. I just need advice on these things I'll make it simple.
1- what should I do to be happy again?
2- how do I stop shutting them out?
3- what do you think could be causing this?
Thanks for any advice I'll appreciate anything !!!
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As I first started to read what you wrote I wasn't sure where you were going or asking with your question. Then I got to the part about your past depression. I too have suffered from depression and can identify somewhat with what you are saying.
Those of us who suffer from depression always have to be alert for the signs we may be regressing back into depression. We are never totally cured of this illness we learn what the triggers are and how to manage them better. You are correct in your feeling that hormones play a part in how your feeling and why you may feel you are regressing back into a depressive state.
As we go through puberty our body releases new hormones. Sometimes our bodies don't know how to deal with these hormones and it causes tension or anxiety for us. Tension and anxiety are two things people who have suffered from depression have to be on guard for.
I see that you have noticed these problems, which is excellent as this is important to understand as these are the triggers of depression. What is possible is no one has taught you how to properly deal with these triggers so that they don't grow into full blown depressive episodes.
Talk therapy with a clinical psychologist is the best way I know of learning how to deal with depression, learning what your triggers are and learning how to deal with them. Talk therapy helped me put my depression in remission. Some people consider remission a cure. I don't as once you suffer from clinical depression you are always susceptible to another episode.
As for the hormones that may be part of your problem your family doctor or GYN can probably help you with those. Talk therapy with a clinical psychologist will also help. Your parents or grandmothers health insurance will pay for the visits or should pay for your visits. To truly get control of your depression you need the professional help of a therapist.
There is also a hotline you can call when you just need to talk with someone. It is called the Kids-Help-Phone. It is open 24/7 and staffed by trained volunteers who will talk with you offer help on a variety subjects which teenagers find themselves confused by or troubled with. Their number is 1-800-668-6868.
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First off, it sounds like youve been through some troubling times and feeling sad over that is totally normal. if you feel like you just cant seem to get passed it, then you should see if you can get some counseling.
next: what you could try to do to be happy again is just doing the things you love to do! go outside and get some fresh air! ride a bike, go out with friends or people who you know have always cared for you and try to be open minded. you could always do things that you dont need another person for too! like reading, or gardening, find some awesome plants youve always like and try buying some for yourself and see if you can take care of it! just for fun!
lastly try to be patient with your family members, they cant read your mind and are only reacting to what your doing. they dont know how to help you with anything your suffering through if you wont tell them. also your a teenager, so yes hormonal changes making you feel this way or that CAN come into play here. but just do things that make you happy even if it seems stupid. it will get you through for right now until things change. ;
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