about

I'm a mom of two, who has had her share of problems, and likes to help others with their own. I love helping people, and knowing that I can make a difference. I can't help with everything, but I'll always try to make people smile and just feel good about themselves. I've had more than my share of family drama and problems; what with my parents coming from two different and clashing cultures. I've also moved around a lot and had to deal with changing schools and all the trauma of making new friends and fitting in. I'm good with questions about friends, relationships (love, family..you name it), tough decisions, technology, and other weird random questions.
I'm a great listener, but I make sure to understand both sides of the story as well.

advice

Hi im 14/f
im going to high school next year and i want a laptop for my school assignment cause my dad said they slow down our home computer.
I love art alot. so i want Photo shop, but i dont know what types there are or how much they cost. and if they work on laptops.
I have been looking at internal duos(sp?). but i also like macs. which are better?

macs are a lot more reliable than PCs, and for art and graphic design they are much much better. and since you specified photoshop, I suggest you get a mac. and macs have just as much software as pcs, and are compatible with photoshop.. i have a mac and i have not had any problems finding software for it.

[view]

Im so confused. I love my boyfriend. And he told me he still loves me. But i got so fed up, because he doesnt have time with me anymore, but just for his job. he promices me he would tell me everything, but then i just lost it, and i told him hes extreme annoying. He then said he understands. And never wrote back. i told him im sorry, i told him i still love him. He told me in that letter that he still will love me, but he understands that i can have another one. I have tried writing to him. he wont answer because hes buissy with work. I dont know his phone number. How can i get him back through e-mail? Please dont tell me by telling him my feelings. He will just think im a corny little girl, who cant live without her bf. Please help. I am loosing it soon.
thanks!

first i have a question for you, why don't you have his phone number?

and secondly the best way to gt him back is by telling him your feelings. I'm sorry if thats not what you want to do, but that is the best chance. You have to be honest and openly communicate everything you're feeling. open communication is the key to a successful relationship. and trust me a relationship through email is not gonna go well.. i shud know. you cannot express yourself as well through an email as you can face to face or even on the fone. email him and ask for his number or meet up with him, and then tell him exactly how your feeling. i sense you guys have a lack of communication.

[view]

I need your help deciding what the ideal menu for a public dinner would be.

Not knowing what would be the best dishes to serve is making this an impossible task.

If you will tell me your favorite foods, or point me to your favorite recipes, it would really help a lot.

You can list as many things as you like. They don't have to be fancy things at all. I am all about the comfort food baby! :)

This will be a mixed group of people so I would like to have something for everyone.

Cooking for a banquet is not as hard as trying to figure out WHAT to cook!

Everyone will receive feedback.

Thank you!

P.S. If all that was a lot to digest, pun intended, here is a summary: Please list all your favorite foods.

1. Aish Bel Lahm (Arabian Bread with Meat)
http://www.inmamaskitchen.com/RECIPES/RECIPES/Breads/arabian_bread_meat.html

2. Fettucine Alfredo

3. Bamya (Meat and Okra Stew) - best with beef and served with white rice
http://www.touregypt.net/recipes/bamya1.htm

4. Any kind of Chinese food

5. Burritoes and Enchiladas

6. Lasagna

7. Stuffed Grape Leaves (Its a good finger food that can be served hot or cold..)

8. Spinach Pie

9. Quiche

10. Chicken wings! any kind of barbequed food

thats all i can think of

[view]

this weekend i was with my brother and some of his friends and we were all driving around in my new car a 2007 escalade. I was driving adn it was raining and late at night and i have only had my license for about 3 months. we were coming around the corner and hit another car totaling mine and theirs. right away my brother took the blame for it and told me not to worry about it since he has been driving for a few eyars now and wouldnt get in as much trouble as i would. since the other car didnt see i was driving it worked out fine but now i feel awful that he took the blame for this but i know that if i came forward my parents would kill me. what should i do?

you shouldn't feel awful! your brother is being a great older brother, you should be feeling grateful to have a brother who cares about you so much. grateful and lucky. :) i know some girls whose brother would yell at them and make them feel even worse for what happened, and on top of that let them get in trouble with their parents. what happened was an accident...and im sure your parents weren't that hard on your brother, and they were mostly glad you two were both okay.

but even if after all of that your still feeling awful, you could always buy him a gift or take him out to lunch, or mayb e do some of his chores, just something nice as a way to say thank you. :)

[view]

i have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years now and i am really in love with him. but the thing is that i got offered a modeling job in california. and i dont know what willhappen to us. he doesnt want me to go but i really want to. i dont want to give it up and i dont know if he is just tesing me or what i dont want to lose him or this oppertunity what should i do he is also going to college on the east coast next year and i will only be a junior

That really is a tough choice! my advice to you is to make a list of the pros and cons for both. when making that list you have to take into consideration, that usually when a bf/gf goes off to college, no matter how hard the couple tries to make it work, it usually ends up with them breaking it off. another thing is has modeling been a dream of yours? if it has then staying with your bf might lead you to resent him, especially if you dont get another oppurtunity, this might be your big break! and most importantly if you and your bf are meant to be then no matter what happens you guys will make it through.
if you decide to take the job, then you just need to sit him down and tell him how much he means to you, but you can't pass up this oppurtunity and you dont want to end up resenting him.

if he loves you, and i mean truly loves you, then he will understand and wish you the best. Aren't you letting him go off to college on thbe east coast? so far away from you? you could ask him to stay near you and go to college, but your being understanding and you want the best for him..so he in turn should want the best for you.

in the end, I can't make this decision for you (though if i did i would take the job), you have to go with what feels right.

sorry this is really long and possibly very confusing... lol.. i wish you the best, and hope i helped in some way.

[view]

26/f

My boyfriend is 29, we've been dating two years and we're getting married in three months. He has a nine year old daughter in another state. She doesn't know about me. He only visits her once or twice a year because she lives really far away, but he tries to call a lot and always sends money to her mom. I'm just scared because I've read articles about how a lot of kids have a harder time dealing with a parent getting remarried than they do dealing with their parents getting divorced in the first place! What's the right thing to do? I don't want to make her accept me as this new "mom" if she doesn't have to, but I also want to be honest, and I feel like I should get to know her if we're family now. The most important thing is that she's not emotionally traumatized... how can we do that?

DON'T SURPRISE HER WITH THE MARRIAGE!! make sure she knows about it, like from now. I cannot tell you how many friends I have had who hated their step-moms because the wedding was a surprise. right now, even though she hardly sees her dad, shes the important girl in her life. and you marrying him will take his attention away from her, or that's how she will see it. so try to get to know her, and be friends with her before being a mom to her. and most importantly make sure to make her feel included. you don't have to try and be a mom to her, she already has a mom. but u can always be a person she can go to for advice..a friend. but also dont let her walk all over you.

[view]

Someone who I trusted so completely, who I could tell anyting too, and I adored with every fiber of my being told me that she doesn't care about me anymore, or how I feel. We faught occaisionally, but all friends do. But these past few weeks thats all we had been doing, so I told her how I felt. Everytime we faught it was because my opinion wasn't the same as her which meant: I was ignorant, I didn't know anything about the world, and of course I was wrong. I'm so tired of being always wrong, especially when its just an opinion or belief. I wrote a long letter explaining how I felt..begging her to treat me right. She told me all she could give me was apathy. Later when I tried to sort things out with her she told me I was nothing but a drama queen...like I was stirring up crap for no reason. She said she didn't want my forgiveness because she believes she didn't do anything wrong which means - suprise! I'm wrong again. She said she didn't want to make peace with me. She didn't care about me anymore. In her eyes I'm nothing but a self rightgeous idiot. It couldn't have hurt me more if she had just killed me herself. How after being friends for a year she can treat me this way, I do not know.

I invested everything in her, I loved her...she took it all away. I've never felt so hurt in my entire life. I suppose I do sound like a drama queen..but I don't know how to describe it. I've been crying for the past three days..I've never felt this way before.

She doesn't even care what shes done to me.

I try to keep myself busy, but as soon as I stop it just hurts again. I can't sleep anymore because I can't stop crying. I haven't slept in over 40 hours. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel better. I don't know how to stop hating her for what shes done for me. I don't know what to do. I just...don't.

Somehow I think shes not worth my time..not anymore. Shes not worth my tears or my thoughts, but I can't help it. Any help would be appreciated. thanks.

and yeah its long, sorry.

your reaction to her not wanting to be friends with you worries me a bit. but my advice is just leave her alone. and like you said yourself shes not worth your tears. i had a friend who was like that, I did nothing wrong, she got upset, and then we stopped talking. I apologized, but she said she could never forgive me and the best she could do was be civil acquaintances. so i gave her her space, and we ended up not speaking for a whole year. and now.. we are inseparable. she realized her mistakes, and i realized my mistakes. we grew, experienced life and learned to appreciate each others friendship more. losing one friend is not the end of the world, there are many many other people, and making friends is what helps us grow. sorry for the long response, the gist of it is to just give your friend some space. She'll realize her mistakes sooner or later. :)

[view]

16-f

ok basically im soo sick of my body. im 5'7 and about 125 pounds. i know thats kinda small, and i pig out trust me i cant really gain weight, but im so like, disproportioned. i basically never drink cokes, so cutting those out of my diet isnt a problem haha. im small 'up top' and my waist is pretty thin, but my hips and my legs are soo flabby. like not even kidding. one of my friends is an inch or two taller than me, and were like basically the same size [im just a tad bigger] and i wear a 7 or 9 in pants while she wears a 0 or a 3. and its just because my thighs and hips. my measurements are roughly 31-33-35.. and its annoying. i have no muscle in my legs.. its all fat, and im dying to get rid of it, but i dont want to do alot of cardio so i wont lose much weight. i know lunges and squats, but what else can i do? no gym access by the way. oh and how do you get rid of love handles, because mine like hang over the top of my jeans, and i definitely want that to go, but side crunches didnt seem to help much. thanks

honey.. you r not over weight.... 7 or 9 for a pants size is completely normal! size 0 - 3 is unhealthy..although some people are naturally that thin. most guys like a girl with hips ..soo you shud b glad for that. buut if you wanna tone your legs..running or even just walking for an hour a day around your neighborhood is good. sit-ups and crunches are good for flabby stomachs and love handles.

but seriously! you do not need to lose weight.. you weigh less than me and your taller than me...and my doctor said im at the average weight for my height.

[view]

oka i have this friend that stayed over at another friend house and at the middle of the night she had left that friend and sneak out of the house with a boy to have sex with. Should that friend be mad at her for doing that?

yes she shud be mad, becuz that "friend" just used her.

[view]


_____ is a bay located in South Of America. It is well known because of it's natural funnel shape.

what is the "____"?? I'm going crazy!!! I got it wrong on a quiz and I have to find the right answer!

hmm i got both of the answers below as well.. but I'd go with Fundy Bay because rio de la plata is a river and the question specifically says bay.

[view]

13/Female
A couple years ago I had this BFF and we did everything together, we were really close. I dont know what happened but we arent frinds anymore, now she has this ONE best friend that is moving away. I feel really bad for her and I cant help it but I feel like I want to be her friend again so I can be there for her. Is that the right thing to do or would I just be starting a whole other mess of a frindship?
Thanks
-Hal

people drift apart all the time.. some happen to drift back together others just continue life going their own separate ways. so no, you wouldn't be starting a whole mess of a friendship. most likely you guys will become close again, and even if you dont become close at least you helped someone out when they were feeling sad, which im sure u would appreciate if u were on the other side of this situation. :)

[view]

What Perfume should i use? i cant find any that stays on.. or smells really good. PLEASE HELP, thank you so much. :]

Lancome Miracle stays on and also Serpentine by Roberto Cavalli smells really nice and stays on long.

Also escada all kinds last long and smell really nice.

[view]

I have on my right foot two size bumps the size of m&ms and there red & itchy then on my left foot on the upper part under the back of my toes is a large itchy bump and is swollen and i have a couple other itchy ones..PLese help

you could have athletes foot

[view]

Hi i'm 15/f. I know this sounds weird, but I never feel girly. I just wear like loose fitting t-shirts and jeans everyday, with my hair in a pony tail. I never wear anything different. I mean, I like girly shirts and cute outfits, but for some reason the way they fit I just can't stand how tight they are. Im not fat or anything they are just so uncomforable. Same with my hair, I just wear it in a ponytail everyday because wearing my hair down just annoys the LIFE out of me. I mean, I know I should just be myself, but do you know why these things bother me so much? What can I do to get used to them?

its probably bothering you so much because you see most other girls are wearing girly cute outfits that are so tight and uncomfortable. its natural to want to fit in, and you're probably feeling like maybe i should be dressing like them. my advice... just wear whatever makes you happy and comfortable. and you can find girly things that are loose too, like those long tunic type shirts.. or wear a mini dress with leggings, or even jeans.

:)

[view]

Hi.

Do any of you have any really good suggestions on what sounds good with Cara. I only want girl name suggestions since i already have boy names picked out. Her middle name will be Juliana after a combo of my moms first and middle names (Julie and Ann. Maybe another C name but that is not a must.

Thank you and have a great day =]

Laila Juliana Cara

Alexa Juliana Cara

Alyssa Juliana Cara

Faye Juliana Cara

[view]

This is an odd question,
but is it likely that if you are super stubborn or, I dont know, really blunt, that your kid will have it?


Or atleast some of you and your husbands qualities? or do they have their complete own?

your kids will most likely share parts of their personality with you and your husband. i don't know how to explain it, but its mostly because they are around you all the time, and you know how they say you become like the people who surround you. but of course part of their personality won't be anything like you or your husband, it will be their own uniqueness, and also parts will be affected by the people they hang out with, and where they grew up.

so in a way it is their complete own, and completely unique..but there will be similarities to you and your spouse.

[view]

for my friend i wanted to buy a cell phone locator for his birthday...its and inside joke so i know its not an amazing present. anyway i was wondering where i can buy one. what i'm looking for is something that maybe you can attach something to your cell phone and then if you lose it you can push a button and your cell phone will make a noise so you can locate it.

i know that many house phones have this. where if you push a button your phone will start beeping so you can find it.

thanks =]

i dont see why u rated the person below me a 1. they were right. i've never heard of a cell phone locator, and why buy when when you can just use another phone to locate your phone?

[view]

do you think its weird to dedicated a song to my friend who is a girl? im just asking cause i want to dedicate a cheer up song to her because shes pretty much upset about her parents divorced and all
which is Keep on Keepin' by jojo and use my shoulder-jojo if u dont know the song please just look at the lyrics here:
http://www.cravelyrics.com/artist.php/jo...
and
http://www.cravelyrics.com/artist.php/jo...

which one do u think its better? please be serious thank you =]

Use My Shoulder is definitely better. and no theres nothing wrong with dedicating a song to your friend to cheer her up..its actually very sweet of you. :) shes lucky to have such a caring friend.

[view]

i got a yeast infection i had it for about 3 weeks....my doctor gave me one pill called diflucan...i took it and its been 3 days and its been getting worse...i went bqack today nd told her this and she said it will take at least a week for it to go away is this true??

ya..its true. its not going to get better over night, it takes time.

[view]

theress this girl in my class. shes the toughest meanest girl like in the world. if she doesnt like you shes gona fight u and DESTROY u.. and now she hates me all off a sudden and i dun know why.. now shes turning all my frends against me.. she made my boyfrend dump me.. and she pushes me and hits me and everthing but i cant do anything about it because i know she'll kill me and if i fight her back and get suspended, i'll get kicked off the cheerleading team and punished for life. and in every class she sits near me and talks to the person next to her about me and she does it on purpose so i can hear her. and a couple days ago, i came late to class and sat down and everybody started laughing, my frend told me she switched my chair and desk with the special ed girl in my class...i have no idea wat to do.. !

Oh god! girls can be so cruel. i went through a similar situation except it was a group of five girls instead of just one, and they turned my best friend against me. it was awful!

i just ignored them as best as i could, and eventually they stopped.

bullies like to get a reaction out of the person they're bullying. if they dont get a reaction, they get bored and find another victim.

so if she does something that makes the whole class laugh at you, laugh with them. no matter how embarrassed or hurt or sad you may feel, just laugh. that will really confuse her.

and if gets really bad, then you should talk to a teacher, a counselor, or even the principal.
you could try standing up to her, but i don't want you to get hurt, so letting someone older with more authority to handle it is much better.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker