Website:
LindascounselE-mail:
Lindascounsel@yahoo.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
North CarolinaMember Since:
March 14, 2005Answers:
94Last Update:
March 6, 2012Visitors:
13786Favorite Columnists
singlemom
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
Friendship
View All
about

However, you can ask me anything. I believe in the value of honesty and I will do my best to be ethical, fair and genuine. xoxoxoxo
advice
I have REALLY horrid discharge..and sumtimes it can stain my panties an off-yellow...does anyy one know how to make it stop...or when im going to NOt have discharge any more?
Hi there...
You may have a vaginal infection that causes a "fishy" odor. If this is the case, you just need to set up an appointment with a doctor for medication or treatment. Please do not be afraid to go. It's most likely quite harmless, but just uncomfortable for you.
Good luck sweetie.
Linda
well see ..i was goin out with this kid (eric) for like 4 months and yeah we had sex.. but then like .. i dont know we got in some kinda fight ish thing .. and then like .. i kissed this kid Jimmy and ended up liking him ..so i broke up with Eric cuz i felt wicked mean .. cuz i cheated on him and then i liked Jimmy so i dumped eric .. and now my bestfriend is goin out with him .. ( im goin out with Jimmy and she started goin out with Eric a week later) and Eric made out with my cuzin 2 days later,and then went out with her and then broke up with her and told me that he was like still in love with me and then went out with my Bestfriend.. i mean is it alright to be kinda mad about this or is it like .. wicked bitchy and stupid to be ?
please help =/
p.s i rate..
xl h0ll0w li3s lx
Dear uhh,
Wow. You have some drama goin on there. I have to get it straight first.
You were going out with Eric.
Got into a fight.
Kissed Jimmy.
Broke up with Eric.
Started going out with Jimmy.
Best friend starts going out with Eric.
Eric makes out with your cousin.
He goes out with your cousin.
Broke up with cousin.
Tells you he loves you.
Starts going out again with your best friend?
Did I get that right?
And now you're upset with Eric. First of all, feelings are not wrong. They just are. And I think your feelings are valid. However, I think he's kind of got his hands full right now. It sounds as if he's very fickle and goes from one girl to the next. I wouldn't do anything on impulse right now no matter what Eric is saying to you. I think he still may have feelings for you, but THAT is NOT love. Trust me on this.
Also, about the sex issue. When a girl has sex, that level of intimacy really tends to cloud the vision a bit. Pull back a little from Eric so you can see him a little more clearly. I don't think you're being bitchy nor do I think your feelings are stupid. You were hurt. And you have every right to be, just as he had a right to be hurt about you and Jimmy. And you know, he could be trying to reel you back in. But like I said before, before making any impulsive decisions, really THINK about it first.
Good luck!
Linda
i have a very high self esteem like i feel really good about the way i look because i know no1s perfect but sometimes i get really hurt when this guy at my school lets call him james makes fun of my ears because they stick out a little i know i shouldnt let him bother me bcuz im proud of who i am but he makes me feel so ugly because he can say some really mean stuff and im not the kind of person who will defend myself because im a very quiet girl because of my family backrounds can anyone tell me what to do about this situation
Dear Made,
Yes. Ignore him. I know, I know, easier said than done. I'll try to give a little more insight so you'll understand why you need to ignore him. People who try to make other people feel bad are people who feel bad about themselves. (I say "try to" because someone cannot make you feel bad without your permission...you teach others the way you want to be treated.) For example, if you were to really study James, I bet he's very, very insecure about himself. And, IF, you were to point out something about him and make fun of him, it would definitely get a rise out of him. However, I am NOT suggesting you do this. You say you have good self esteem and you are proud of who you are. That is the BEST attitude in the world to have. It will take you far in life. Unfortunately for James, people like him are to be pitied, not made an example of. So the next time he says something to you that is offensive, I would just look him in the eye and shake your head a little as if you just feel so sorry for this poor, pitiful guy. That will make him think way more than any harsh words you could say.
Good luck sweetie.
Linda
Linda.
I just told him what u told me about him being honest and him needing to stick up to me to lemme know I'm wrong, that I need to respect him. He said, then respect me. I told him i needed his help he told me he didnt want to help I told him I cant walk all over him and he said when you do that i forgive you because i know you dont mean what you say! its called picking and choosing your battles.. omgsh help
That's okay. That's perfect actually! It means you've done it right. You have communicated how you feel to him. He says he doesn't want to help and he forgives you when you say something you don't mean. Have you ever heard the phrase, "it will get worse before it gets better."? Don't be anxious about it. Don't worry about it. You have said how you feel and he has told you how he feels. Feelings aren't wrong, they just are.
And what he said about picking and chosing your battles is absolutely true. You SHOULD pick and chose your battles.
Okay an analogy....we'll do fishing. Someone takes out a rod and reel, sticks a worm on the hook and throws it into the water and pulls it RIGHT back in....do you think that person has caught a fish? It takes a little bit of patience, as everything in life does. There are consequences to every action. But it very rarely happens immediately. You have only taken the first step. Of COURSE nothing is going to be resolved yet. But keep trying to help him be honest with you. And keep being honest with yourself. Give yourself some credit. Be patient with him AND with yourself. You'll get where you want to be. You're doing great!
Linda
ok umm my friend is not eating. she says she eats infront of a big group of ppl but then when she is only around a few ppl she says she does not eat. she drinks energy drinks like crazy and i tell her to stop drinking sooo many b/c you can die if you drink too many, and she is not even doing a energy when she drinks them.and i have told her to start eating and stuff but she won't she wants to loose wait, and i said to just workout and not to starve yourself and yeah. i am really worried about her. she is always tired b/c she is not eating and she is not getting her calciam or however you spell that and it makes her tired so she drinks a Red Bull.i don't know how to help her. should i tell a parent if i tell her to stop and she doesn't?? please help me
concerned best friend
Dear concerned,
You sound like a great friend. And very brave to boot. What you have described is an eating disorder.
- she only eats in front of groups.
- she is not eating at other times
- she is drinking energy drinks
- she is always tired.
- she desperately wants to lose weight.
Unfortunately for her, what she is doing is starving her body. When you starve your body, what your body does is rebel. It begins to hold onto every single ounce of nutrition it can get. She will not lose weight in this way, nor will she get the energy her body is fighting to get. That is why most healthy diets urge people to eat a lot of small meals during the day.
You are right to be concerned, even afraid, for your friend. She needs help....today. I would tell your mom and perhaps your mom can discuss it with your friend's mom. But please, do as your conscience is urging you to do. Tell an adult. She has a true friend in you.
Good luck to you and to your friend.
Linda
Once again, this is about my boyfriend.
Here's some background.
- We've been dating for 6 months now.
- Had some trouble in the past. [ Me having thoughts about leaving him]
- I usually get in moods where I snap at him.
- and he swears he'll never leave me.
But, here's my problem. I seem to be depending on that statement, [ He'll never leave me ] and it let's me feel free to treat him badly. But! I don't think that in my mind, but I know that's the way it comes off to other people.
Here's a background on him
- He's very sweet, always trying to make me happy.
- He's failing a few classes.
- Overall, a happy person.
But since he's failing a class or two he's living like it's the end of the world. He seems to be.. depressed I'm guessing is the word.
I don't want to depend on the statement of him not leaving me, because I cannot promise him the same. The reason I can't because I'm a very undecided person. In my mind I know that I can't leave him, never ever. But my actions prove me wrong. I snapped at him today for not giving my paper back, and while this was going on I know what i was doing was stupid and I shouldn't of gotten mad, but I did anyway.. I know inside it hurts him alot to hear me get upset, and makes him more upset when I get mad at him.
Background on me.
- I overall pretty nice girl
- snapps normally.. i'm like on perminate PMS or something.
- I promise him all the time I'll change and not be so RAWRR
- Gets upset and emotional about alot of things.
- can be selfish.
Ah ha! Hi there Retro!
First of all, I do not think you are being selfish at all. I'm not getting even a teeny bit from this letter. What I AM getting is that you are suffering from an overdose of sugar. By this I mean that your boyfriend is not providing you with any challenge whatsoever. He sounds like a wonderful guy. He really does. However, most people like to be around people who make them feel good about themselves.
What it sounds as if you are doing is challenging HIM because he won't challenge YOU. And you may need a little bit of that in your life. That's perfectly normal. It doesn't make you a bitch, it doesn't mean you are selfish. You are just setting him up a little, subconsciously, trying to get a rise out of him. When it doesn't work and HE ends up feeling bad, it makes YOU feel like the rotten one. There are a few things that I feel your boyfriend is doing also. He is not being honest with you. He is not being honest with himself. And you are sensing that in a powerful way and giving him every single opportunity to say what he feels. He's not biting.
I think he's pretty content in this power struggle. And it IS a power struggle. And believe it or not, you're not winning. He is. To break out of this, he needs to start standing up to you so you can learn to respect him more. Because trust me, the first guy that comes along who DOES stand up to you and doesn't let you get away with crap is the guy you are going to fall for. So, not only does the responsibility fall on your shoulders to help him be more honest with you, but it also falls on him in a big way. Oh, by the way, when he is trying to learn how to trust you enough to be honest with his feelings, please try to be a good steward of that trust.
I have complete faith in you. Good luck!
Linda
I need some advice. I am 18 and going to move out in the summer with some friends. If you are saying i am too young you dont understand the situation i am in. I dont want to go to college, i will later in life i just cant now. I cannot live in my house any longer and must leave. I just need to know if you have any idea on the costs. I know rent already i just need utility prices. If you have any idea on the prices of utilities for a 2 bedroom trailer please let me know, or any other expenses for the matter. Thank You.
Dear Moving,
Congratulations on your first place! You don't say where you live. I live in North Carolina. Let's see, for a 2 bedroom trailer, your electric would probably run from 75-125 per month, depending upon how cold or warm you like it. Water runs about 15-20 a month. There's a $100 deposit to get the water hooked up in your name. Phones require a deposit sometimes but they will usually work it into your bill, between $100-200 and then about 20-40 per month depending on the features. Electric requires a deposit up front of about $100-250. (Also, something else to think about...trailers are usually more expensive per month in electric because of insulation.) Then your car maintenance, gas, insurance. Groceries. Cable runs about 35-70 per month. ($70 if you want broadband for the computer)
I know it sounds a little overwhelming, but when moving out, I would say if you are moving with 2 other friends, $500 each would cover you for moving in expenses. Per month, between 3 people, you are looking at about $400-500 in expenses. Hoped this helped. Good luck sweetie.
Linda
june 2004 my cousin died from a mistake a police officer made. i cant seem to get over his death and i dont know who to talk to. i still cry all the time over him, and i htink about him a lot too. the rest of my family has moves on it seems, and they dont like to talk about him. if u have been in this situation... or one like it please shre advice. thanks
Dear cousin,
I'm so sorry. What you are going through is perfectly normal. You are grieving. The one thing I know for sure is that, in time, you will think about this differently. A lot of times, we feel the most grief when we feel that a person has died before his time. In this instance, you say it was from a mistake a police officer made. We don't know the secrets of the universe. We don't know why things happen the way they do and why some people have to leave the earth before we are ready for them to. However, it is something that we have to accept. We don't have to like it....but we have to accept it. In time, you will think about the good times with your cousin in life and not think so much about his death. And also in time, please try to forgive the police officer. It will help you to move on. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Linda
there are these girls..Paty and jessica. okay well paty and jessica ALWAYS get mad at me for no reason. Dude, and im on these girls basketball team and I fouled one time and i said.."oh i dont rlly care." you no just because it was my first one. and paty goes to me "WELL WHAT THE FREAK...YOU SHOULD CARE." and she wouldnt pass me the ball at all. But this one time at school, i didnt get such a good grade on my socical studies test...(if was a D) & the est was on the whole book *well the stuff we covered* and Jessica comes up to me and goes " (my name) wat did you get? & paty butts in and goes I got an A+ and Jessica goes Me to"...and then they ask me again and i said "no" and then when our teacher wasnt looking they grab my paper and started making fun of me. Please helped
SOrry its so long BUT PLEASE HELP ME *
Sincerly,
crushed/MAD
Ps: there is a ton of more stuff that they have done to make my life miserable
Dear crushed,
Okay, first things first. I would stay as far away from Patty and Jessica as I could get. From your letter, it sounds as if you are socializing with them a little bit. (just a little?) Trying to get their approval maybe? People like Patty and Jessica are a dime a dozen and they are using you to make them feel better about themselves. Don't buy into it. It's not worth the heartache.
It's a funny thing about approval. When you act as if you don't care about it, that's when you get the most. So, if you want to change the reactions of these girls to you, you'll have to have a little self-control and change your own reactions to them. Don't let them see you get mad at yourself. Because that's what's happening. They are playing off of your own insecurity. So, the fact that you didn't get a good grade on your test...you know what you have to do to get a better grade. It's nobody else's business. And certainly not 2 girls that have nothing better to do than to criticize and put down others. The self-control part? This is a doozy....Ignore them.
Good luck sweetie.
Linda
im 15 and theres this guy (also 15) and we both like each other. At least he says he likes me. right now we're kind of in a friends with benefits position, we dont want to go out becasue he smokes and drinks and i cant deal with that. the thing is, he tells me he wants to be more and that hes trying to quit, and i tell him i wanna be more too..... but the next day he goes tells all his friends that i wanna be more than friends and he leaves himself out of it., i just dont know if i can trust him, or why he does this. any advice?
Dear should,
You've already answered your own question. Obviously you don't trust him already. And with good reason. He tells you one thing and he tells his friends another. That in itself is enough not to trust him. Add the drinking and the smoking to the equation and, well, you have some issues there. However, you sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders along with some fairly good judgement. So, I would leave it the way it is if you are comfortable with that. If you end of going out with him, your headaches will increase. Trust me. You are doing the right thing by standing up to him.
Good luck sweetie.
Linda
i happen to work as a janitor in a mental hospital, and there is many a stain that penetrates my jumper suit and stains me clothes. i know how to deal with the usual: urine, feces, vomit, but i want to know how to clean out those unidentified disgusting stains, or U.D.S's. I need to know how to clean off blood most importantly.
regards,
sir salad
Dear Sir Salad,
Hmmmm. That is quite a question. How to remove blood? Either you are quite sincere or this is a joke. I will just assume that you are a very sincere, hard-working janitor working in a mental hospital and answer your question seriously.
For a blood stain, soak your jumper in cold water for at least 30 mins. If it remains, soak in lukewarm ammonia water (3 tbsp per gallon) and then rinse. If it still remains, work in detergent and wash it.
For fresh blood stains, cold water should remove it. If large or difficult stain, add in a pinch of baking soda. NEVER put blood stains in hot water.
Good luck Sir!
Linda
My friend has trouble with confidence so she asked me to ask a question for her. OK her and this boy were going out but they broke up for a reason that doesn't matter anymore. Now they want to get back together but my friend's too shy. Do you have any tips for her?
Dear confidence,
You say "they" want to get back together. As in your friend and the boy want to get back together? So, there is no problem. Unless..... she wants to get back together with him and she only 'thinks' that maybe he does too, in which case, communication is what is called for. How to communicate this to him through her shyness...hmmmmmm. Tell your friend to find an excuse to be around him somehow. (the phone or the computer is NOT the way to do this) She needs to do this in person. Say hi to him without appearing overly friendly but be very nice about it. Look at his reaction. If it's good, then continue, ask him a question or two. About a movie, a new song, a band, classes, etc. And let him do the talking. Pretty soon, she should start to feel more comfortable about opening up. Then have her tell him that she misses him, but only a little. Like a joke. See if he responds in kind. It should be up to him at that point whether he asks her out again or not. He'll definitely get the picture, she won't have made a fool out of herself and quite possibly, they'll get back together! Tell her good luck for me.
Linda
ok well you see i have mayjor problems because im in love with this kid who i cant be and well yeah were cool and all and he flirts but hes a ladies man you know and i love him so much and well i dont want to say anything b/c i dont know how he feels but please help me should i follow my heart and let my family and others hate me for a guy that may not even be interested and if he is what happens if we dont stay together i mean im willing to give my virginty help im in over my head please answer asap
Dear disowned,
Why do you say that your family would hate you? What is this guy like? It sounds as if you haven't really spoken to him all that much, so I think you're "in love" with your idea of this guy. Is he a little rebellious? Does he smoke maybe? Go after the girls? I think you may be judging your family a little harshly. Probably every single one of them has been in the situation that you're in now. But you are questioning things which means that you are aware that there could be some problems with this guy. Before declaring your love to him, talk with him a little more so you can know him a little better. And don't pin all your expectations on whether he likes you or not. Your job is to find out if HE is good enough for YOU.
As for your virginity, I wouldn't even go there yet. You don't know him. You don't know his character well enough to decide whether he would be a good steward of the trust you would place in him. Test him out first. Don't let him test you out.
Good luck sweetie.
Linda
My best friend dated my ex. It was a tough thing for me to see.They are totally over and you would think everything is fine. Wrong. I still like him. At least I think I still like him. I even have a boyfriend who I love very much. But then I read a note from my ex that was about me that was to my best friend when they were together, and now I feel sad. He liked her a lot. And I feel like a bitch. I need to know what is going on! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!
Hi! There's a lot going on here. The one thing that is really shouting out in your letter is....guilt. Okay, what did you do? You say you feel like a bitch, however, there's nothing that you wrote that would make you into a bitch. So, I'm reading between the lines here. First, you have a boyfriend whom you love very much. And you still feel like you like your ex. Perfectly normal. He's free again. You have history between you. You read a letter showing how much he cared for your best friend. What, my dear, are you leaving out???
Linda
Over the past few weeks my boyfriend has seemed [for lack of better words] wilted. He isn't happy, around me that is. He just came over so we could study for a test, and he was TOTALLY uniterested in me.. like over and over I asked him if I was that uninteresting, and if I was that unatractive and he said no to both, but that didn't change his mood.. I'm getting mixed singals here. Yes I have talked to him about this but what else can I do?
Dear interest,
So, what are the mixed signals? I'm only seeing the negative ones. Okay, here's the deal. He's fading fast.... you need some damage control. If he is losing interest, which it sounds like he is, you can get him back into the fold if that's what you want. However, it will take a bit of self-control on your part. You say that he doesn't seem happy around you, but you don't say how he acts around others. If his problem really is you, you need to withdraw a little bit. Stop asking him if he thinks you are uninteresting. Stop asking him if he thinks you are unattractive. That is making you look very insecure and it is giving him all the power in the relationship. Do not focus on yourself. Reel it in a little. Take back a little of that power. Put the focus on him. Not about feelings. (we'll get to that part in a minute) Get him to talk about himself. Get him to relate to you about his day. About his classes. His friends. Anything to take the focus off you. People need to feel as if they are interesting and attractive. Don't you? Well, make him feel as if HE is, but not by telling him. Let HIM tell YOU. He will come to depend on the feeling that he gets about HIMSELF when he's with you. After a few weeks of this, don't be surprised if he's telling you how much he cares about you, what a hottie you are and how interesting you are. Good luck!
Linda
Ok my friend picked me up from track and i had her track shoes and put them inside and infront of the car. When we got home, she noticed she only had one. She sorta freaked out and then we had to pay her bro to go bak up to the skool and look for it. We couldnt find it. We got back and she was pissed and didnt want to talk to me. I felt really bad and uncomfterble, she gave me mean looks so i said i had to go home. I have to go back to her house so they can take us to a camp. What do i do?? i feel really bad.
please help i rate high
The case of the missing track shoe...so, they were in your possession and then you said you put 'them' inside the front of the car. So, at that time, there were two? Retracing your steps would be the first thing you should do. AFTER you have retraced your steps, IF you haven't found the missing shoe, go to your friend. And please don't wimp out. Face the music. She was giving you mean looks and wouldn't talk to you, but she was upset. As you were upset. Forgive her for that. Ask her what she would like you to do. If you've truly lost the track shoe, you may have to replace them, if that's what she wants. However, she may let you off the hook if you go to her with an attitude of openness, sincerity and honesty. Showing her that you care about what happened and you are very sorry about it. Oh, and keep looking for the shoe. My bet is that it will eventually turn up. Good luck!
Linda
Dear Linda
I once asked for help for my friend, but this time its for me...
I have a major crush on a guy in school, and im not sure if he likes me back. From the way hes been acting aorund me lately, a lot of people said he really does like me but is hesitating to make a move OR hes beeing too friendly.
What shocked me is that he just suddenly decided to say hi to me and he even called me just to wave! And he had this sexy and irresistible smile on his face. My gf said that this was to get my attention
Yesterday I was absent so I asked my gf to say hi to him for me.
So he was surprised and asked her if I were sick and she said I was. She said he thought for a moment and then thanked her.
So, does this mean he's concerned? My other friends were surprised too, so does this mean he cares about me?
Today, I went to school cause I was feeling better.
First time we ran (me and him) into each other, he was with a friend of his, so he said "Whats up?" without even looking me in the eye, just while he walked.
So I said "hey"
The second time, as he walked, he looked at me and said "hey , I heard your sick, how are you?"
me:" im fine, thanks for asking, you're so sweet" (is it wrong to say to a guy youre so sweet???)
Why couldnt he stop and ask that question, why is he always walking?!
Im trying to make him jealous in all ways possible, talked to a few guys here and there.
Hes very mysterious, and its hurting me because I dont understand him! I become dumb around him, so does he become dumb around me too? Is that why hes so calm sometimes?
thanks in advance
Teenage Cupid
Hi Again Teenage Cupid!
Here's the good news. He really likes you. Guys don't make any effort whatsoever with girls they don't like. Here's the bad news. Since this is so new and the VERY beginning of something, good or bad, it really could go either way. If you really like this guy, here's how to get him to really like you back. I'll put it in the form of an equation. And you really have to think about it. HOPE + DOUBT = PASSION. Are you thinking about it? There are several behavioral principles that go along with this.
#1 - People subconsciously grow dependent upon those who satisfy their emotional needs.
#2 - People are most attracted to those who exhibit some degree of aloofness and self-reliant independence.
#3 - People want what they can't have!
Okay, so first things first. Give the guy some hope. When he says hi to you...give him a big smile and say hi! and give him a little wave. But don't go towards him. Let him come to you.
Second, make him doubt a little bit. This does NOT mean trying to make him jealous. That is a very tricky area and only something to be used AFTER he really falls for you. This means that you have to live your life and show him you are very happy with your life and can live with him or without him very nicely. Hope and doubt used together will have him falling hopelessly for you. Just another little thought...the best way to favorably impress someone is not by telling them marvelous things about yourself, but by letting them know that you are favorably impressed by them. Oh by the way, the reason he didn't look you in the eye while saying what's up, obviously, it was because he was with a friend and didn't want to appear taken in. Ignore it. Realize that he did that BECAUSE he likes you. Good luck, I think you're gonna do great!
Linda
if you have read the previous post, you'd know how pathethic my love life is (20m never had gf). Anyway, where can i meet a nice girl? And how do i get to know her?
(any nice girl out there?)
Dear where,
The first sentence of your question is what I believe to be the problem. You call your love life pathetic. Got any confidence much? Nice girls are everywhere. Positively everywhere. Do you have any girls who are friends whom you could talk to openly about this? They may be able to give you some insight. However, before you talk to them, prepare yourself with an open mind. A REALLY open mind. And then try this...smile, be friendly. When you have an opportunity to talk to a girl, start out small. How long have you lived around here? What do you like to do? Seen any good movies lately? Eventually, you will click with someone. Don't push, don't begin with stuff like inside jokes, that only you get, find out more about her and then if you feel as if you want to get to know her better, let her get to know you. Take some classes at your local college. That's always a great way to meet people. Also, don't ignore your guy friends. Some of those friends may know girls that you can get closer to through them. Branching out is the key. Good luck!
Linda
hey there, some of you know that I answered a LOT of questions in this site. My friend doesnt have internet in her house so she asked me to ask for your opinion.
She likes her best guy friend, a lot, she cant stop thinking about him and she always gets upset when hes around other girls. I know he considers her as his sister, HE TOLD ME!
What she wants to do is let him realise she likes him more than a friend but I told her it would screw up everything! things would get awkward and stuff. So what she's asking is, should she tell him? Personally I dont think she should.
And she also asked why he hangs out and fools around with other girls instead of her?
I told her because you dont have the same interests and he thinks youre too calm (he told me). So do you agree with me or do you have another opinion?
Dear Teenage Cupid,
I absolutely agree with you. After all, why wouldn't I? Believe it or not, you seem to be holding most of the power here. You seem like a wonderful, kind, caring friend because a lot of girls would push the two together just to see the drama unfold! You already know that he just doesn't feel that way about her. I would tell her. It will sting a little but it will keep her from making a fool out of herself. By the way, the fact that he finds her a little too "calm", kind of says that he likes the drama a bit and if she did tell him she liked him, he would be inclined to draw it out, thereby hurting her even more. It's better that it comes from a friend who cares about her feelings. She may take it out on you in the beginning, but don't be too hard on her. That's just the sting talking. After you tell her, let her wrap her brain around it for a little while and then be there for her. If she continues to show interest in this guy, well then, you've done your part.
Linda
i just got a record deal. But they want me to do all these things I dont want to do. How do i tell them i want to do some things my way without getting fired?
Congratulations! That is awesome! The one thing that you will learn very quickly is that everybody has a boss. Even people who work for themselves have to please the public. Go easy. You may have gotten a record deal, but right now, you're still on the bottom rung of the ladder. If this is something that is really important to you, you will do what it takes to get to the next step, and the next. I would offer suggestions as to how you would like to do things, sandwiched amongst a lot of positive feedback about the original idea. Don't throw out the ideas of what your bosses want from you and for goodness sake don't douse it with negativity. Be accommodating but show that you have ideas too without being pushy. I hope I hear you on the radio soon! Good luck!
Linda