Hi, I'm really happy that i found this site. I love to share my experiences, the good and the bad, with other people in hopes of helping them. Also like having an unbiased opinion to help out with my own day to day dilemas. This is great, I hope any advice i can give will help somebody else out there. I've been through alot in the past 4 years, relationship wise, and i have learned alot about me, men and communication. I've done alot of growing and i seem to be the go to girl with my friends when it comes to their relationships. Hope i can help! Thankyou, singlemom
Gender: Female
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
Occupation: homemaker and childcare provider
Age: 33
Member Since: March 18, 2005
Answers: 16
Last Update: January 25, 2006
Visitors: 2518
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LindasCounsel
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As all great stories begin, mine starts the same way... There's this girl. Well anyway there's this girl I work with that I like but I know I can't have. She's really beautiful and cool, so I'm not suprised that she has a great bf that she absolutely loves. They live together and all, so I know I have pretty much zero chance with her. I guess I just like her most b/c she's cool. I guess my question is not "How can I be a homewrecker or How can I be a knight in shining armor?" It's more like "What can I do to get her out of my head?" I know she likes the other guy and all that shit. She likes me and everything, but only as a friend. Don't you hate that phrase? Oh well, I don't care if this doesn't get put up or answered in a stupid way, I just wanted to write out how I felt. Thanks for reading and good night. (link)
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I know it's hard, but the best thing to do is to be her friend. You will never be able to sleep at night if you go around breaking up homes. Keep busy if you can't get her out of your head.
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OK so to get rid of stretch marks, whats that stuff called? And whats the brand, and where can i get it? Thanks in advance (link)
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Cocoa Butter!! I buy mine at the Body Shop. While I was pregnant I slathered the stuff on like crazy and not a stretch mark in sight. Any brand will do. Good Luck!!
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ok i HAVE a "friend. we were best friends until around december. once in a while we call eachother without my mom finding or dad finding out. ok now we still "miss eachother" but i think she's a little unreliable. ex. she'll say i'll call you back in 5min. but the next thing you know she calls you in like 5hours or never even calls you back. should i still be her friend? cuz it seems like she doesn't even care about me though? so what should i do? (link)
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I don't think it's a matter of not caring about you, but you do need to keep in mind that people are busy but it doesn't mean she's not thinking of you. You'll find in life that it's also not a matter of people being unreliable but more of a matter that people are not always going to say or do exactly what you want them to. Again, it doesn't mean she is not thinking of you. I would recommend that you open the lines of communication and talk. That is the only way you will ever know what is going on. Good Luck!!!
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I really like this guy and he likes me but we live really far away.. I want to tell him how I feel but I dont really know what to say.. I have a few ideas.. but if you could help that would be great! (link)
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Dear what do i say,
Distance does not matter when it's real. Please be honest with each other. Tell him everything that is in your heart like you would your best friend. Nothing ventured is nothing gained. I don't want to see you end up regretting not telling him. I wish more and more people would realize just how short life really is and this is part of life, making lasting relationships no matter how hard they may seem to be. Trust me, definately worth it to take that leap and be honest with him and most of all, yourself. Luann
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i like a guy who is a year older than me. He's amazingly cute and a lot of girls like him. at the beginning of this year we saw each other at these student forum meetings at school and he always came and sat by me and talked and smiled-i could tell he liked me so at the homecoming dance i asked him to dance and it was great- at school we usually just say hi and smile in a flirtacious way during passing periods-but lately we don't say anything and i don't think he likes me anymore-how do i get his attention and get him to like me again? (link)
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Dear How do i get a guy, again,
You need to put yourself out there. In my experience, guys really arent that smart when it comes to these things. There are ways for you to make the first move without him even realizing it. Start a conversation with him using humor as your weapon and if he says something funny reach out and brush his arm or lean into him. Before you know it he's asking you out. Wont even know what hit him. Men love the attention like we do but you have to treat them different. Be a great listener and show him you care what he thinks and his opinions. Boost his confindence and ego when you get the chance. Just be carefull not to be to nice. If this turns into a relationship in the end you dont want him thinking he can walk all over him. The main thing to do is start with a friendship and show him your a caring and interested individual. Luann
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My husband seems to always have another female in his life..if its just a friend or an ex. he has a cell phone that he talks to her on alot.. they use to call the house..but it bothered me..so i said somethng bout it..now they call his cell. I mentioned to him that i noticed he always seemed to have to have another woman in his life..he tells me that i dont want him to have friends..but i told him i didnt care if he had "friends" just this girl thing is disrespectful i think. he told me that she was his best friend and there is nothing i can do about it..she disappears bout 2yrs ago ..all of a sudden she is in a bad relationship and pops back in..am i wrong for having a problem with this..is it right for him to have the hidden conversations..please let me know..relationship in jeopardy.. (link)
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Dear Other Woman, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been in both relationships. My ex had a lot of girl friends and my best friend is a man who is also married. The key? You be thier friend as well. Make friends with this other woman too. She probably is lonely and has no one to turn to except for your husband. This way you can keep an eye on them AND make a new friend too. Your husband and you will become closer as a result. Jealousy can be very ugly and used wrong can totally backfire on you. Be the adult in this situation and everything will be fine. Luann
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How can it be that you can have casual sex? I am a virgin and some of my friends have had sex. Those who have also have casual sex. I just don't understand how you can have sex without having a comitment. Doesn't it still end up being a comitment because someone will want a relationship. It's natural for humans to want to have a relationship. So why is it that people can have casual sex with different people without a more serious relationship?? (link)
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Dear Casual Sex, Your absolutely right, someone will end up wanting a relationship and its usually the woman. We have a tendancy to mistake that kind of intamacy with feelings and the man for some reason can keep everything separate. Sex releases endorphins to our brains that gives us the "glowing effect." The illusion of happiness and we want that again with that person. The man however can go from one woman to another without feeling this. Unless however he actually does have feelings for one in particular, then he's the one who wants the relationship. Even though people can go through life doing this, I suggest to you to wait for that special man or you will be living with a lot of empty feelings and your esteem in yourself will lower. Luann
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i have been seeing someone on /off for the last ten years . recently moved out because the depts are way to much for me, i know he cheats on me so why do i feel like i cant move on??? (link)
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Dear Cheated On, I have been cheated on myself and it takes alot of your self esteem and trust away. For some reason, even though we are not the ones doing anything wrong, we are the ones left dealing with the consequences. I went through a lot of stages starting at hurt and ending with forgiving. It is a process and if your looking for a quick fix to moving on, im sorry its not going to happen. We actually go into mourning for the relationship. I focused on myself, worked out, tanned, volunteered. Different things that make me feel better about myself and then it was alot easier to realize the guy is a loser and not worth your energy. To this day i love my life and dont regret the relationship because my past is what made me who i am today and the same will happen with you. You just need time. Good luck in the future and once your happy with yourself you will find yourself in a great loving relationship with the right person for you. Luann
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Hi there,
I was looking for your website after you sent me a couple of questions and you give really good advice! I notice you live in Canada. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Linda, from Lindacht and I'm 36 and married, living in North Carolina, no children. (C.Ht. stands for certified hypnotherapist, by the way) I've been to Canada many times as my father lives in Vancouver and I have some family in Sascatchewan and Toronto. It's a pleasure meeting you.
Linda (link)
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Hi Linda, Wow, thankyou so much for the compliment. I don't know how great my advice is but I feel i've lived through alot and learned alot from my mistakes. Hopefully i can help some people out in the process. It is definately a pleasure meeting you as well. Your advice you gave me was pretty much what i would tell myself so i felt as though we were on the same level. Just so you know, your my new advice girl, so get ready.LOL! Thanks Linda, Luann
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Ok... I was in a porno Video cause i needed money to go to a school trip in France..! But now All of the guys at my school .. Are porno freaks.!! and all they want is sex from me..! i dont want to give sex to them cause i only did that 1 time to get money for a trip and all the girls think im a slutty ass bitch.. and im not i was always the nice girl and now after one mistake i am called a slut! All the guys try to talk me into sex but i dont want to.. when i go on a date i always get forced to hhave sex. its really annoying and bad.. I hate it and i dont even think i want to go on this trip. after all thats happening.. One of my friends told me that She over heard her boyfriend and his friend saying that this kid that goes to our school may rape me.. Im scared and i dont want to start more drama .. Not only that but the tape was sold on the internet. Im doomed for life. What do i do to repair my reputaion and stay away from getting raped..
any advice is apperciated..
Ps- IM NOT A SLUT! (link)
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Dear Not A Slut, You march your way down to the police station and tell them exactly what is going on. People make mistakes, i've made my share and trust me, it always works out in the end. You have to face this dead on. I'm being totally serious, tell the police. The issue right now is not your reputation and what people think of you, you could get raped. Stop it now before it happens, i'm begging you. Tell your parents also, you need that support around you. Tell them why you did it. I'm a mom, and no matter what my daughter ever does, i will always love her and get her through anything. Let me know, Luann
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17/m Last weekend a very close friend of mine told me that she liked me. I said that I liked her too and that we should go out sometime. The reason that I said that I liked her is because everything deserves a chance. Well we have been on two dates and it is clear to me that she likes me way more than I like her. How do I let her know that I want to be just friends with out ruining a good friendship? I rate high. (link)
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Dear only see her as a friend, I am actually going through the same thing right now, except i'm in your friends shoes. What the guy said to me is that he values our friendship way to much to mess it up and it would kill him to ever lose me like that. And he's such a good friend that I do believe him and totally respect his honesty. She will still be hurt, but take some time and work your way back in to her heart as her friend. Trust me, she will miss talking and hanging out with you way to much to let this get in the way. Let me know how you make out. Good Luck. Luann
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hey guys i didnt know what to put this under but, i want to get a tan this spring break since im not going anywhere. the thing is m, my mom doesnt want me to go in a tanning bed. what are some ways i can convince her to let me go? thanks anyone that replies! (link)
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Dear Tanless, ask your mom to go to one of the tanning salons with you so she can personally talk to someone who is experienced in this. I tan year round and i know from my experience that there are more and more very uv friendly products to use on your skin. Direct sunlight and tanning salons are both bad for your skin, but with the right product, you can be very protected and still enjoy a nice all over tan. Let me know how you make out. Luann
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The boy I have a crush on has been leaving me out of everything and likes someone else. One of my best friends is ignoring and avoiding me because another one of my "so called" friends told him I liked him. I look like a nerd, my grades are going down, and I've been down lately. To make it short, I hate my life. Its miserable right now. What do I do to cheer myself up or solve one or more of my problems??
-THIS.SUX- (link)
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Dear This Sux, I'm presuming your teen age so heres where you begin. Let the world around you shut you out while you work on yourself. If your not happy with yourself nobody will want to be around you. I doubt you look like a nerd but if you think so then do something about it. New hairstyle, some lip gloss, go tanning. Anything that will make you feel better about yourself. I guarentee as soon as you get your confidence back, your grades will start to come up and you'll be surrounded by good friends. Let me know how you make out. Luann P.S. Life is only as miserable as you let it be.
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Every time my husband and I go anywhere with our 4-year old daughter, she wines and cries in the car, or babbles and sings constantly. Although I prefer the latter, sometimes I just want QUIET!There is no escape in a car, and sound echoes. I don't want to be forced to play kiddie music for her constantly either. How can I get her to behave? (link)
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Dear daughter drives you crazy,
I have a 4 and 6 year old plus i babysit two 2 year olds and a 9 month old. Here are some of my little tricks. Before going anywhere i tell them where we are going and how long we will be in the car, tell them to grab a couple of small toys to play with because mommy needs to concentrate on the roads. Pack small snacks for them, play a game like how many red cars they can find, or how many people they see walking on the street. I find if you keep their minds busy they are to busy to drive you crazy. Hope any of this helps! Let me know. Luann
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well last saturday i went to my cousins daughters birthday party and i was downstairs with my grandmothers neighbors grandson and we were hanging out, and we were watching TV and i had my head resting on his shoulder and my legs were on his lap and he had his arm around me.. and then my brother came down and was like.. ahh u like her!! to him and he pushed me off and stood up and he was like, no i dont, we were just watching TV. and then he went upstairs and i have NO IDEA what he's thinking now, because he sent mixed signals. and now i like this other kid and he's REALLY funny and pretty cute, and i pretty much cant get my mind off him.. but i dont know what do do... i have mised feelings. (link)
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Dear misunderstanding, I have no doubt that the kid you were hanging out with before you were interupted likes you. Guys dont like showing feelings when other people are around, especially if they are being teased about it. If you had a chance to talk to him in private he would probably tell you he does like you. I would figure out which guy i like more. Remember to base it on friendship first, who makes the better friend? Who do you feel like yourself around? Who can make you laugh? And most important, who gives you those great butterfly feelings in your stomach when your just thinking about him? Remember, most guys arent as open about their feelings as we are. They dont like to analyze things and talk them to death or feel pressured, so just go with your feelings and have some fun. Hope this helps, let me know how it works out. Singlemom
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i have just moved to a new skool, and i have noticed that most of the girls at my skool like me. now i just got here and wont be here for long and hardly know any of them. and it's really obvious on who likes me cause i often find them staring at me then they stop when i see they are. i wanna know wat i should do about this.... i'll rate i guess if its good (link)
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Dear lonely guy, What's wrong with dating? You said you wouldn't be at that school long so you dont want to get attached. Relationships should always begin with friendship. Make friends with these girls, hang out as a group, have fun. Trust me, before long you will know who's interested and who's not. I suggest to enjoy your new school and make some life lasting friends. As for the girls looking at you and then turning when you catch them, they like how you look, not you because they havent even met you yet. Get to know them and show them who you are. Remember, just have fun!
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