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other woman and my husband
My husband seems to always have another female in his life..if its just a friend or an ex. he has a cell phone that he talks to her on alot.. they use to call the house..but it bothered me..so i said somethng bout it..now they call his cell. I mentioned to him that i noticed he always seemed to have to have another woman in his life..he tells me that i dont want him to have friends..but i told him i didnt care if he had "friends" just this girl thing is disrespectful i think. he told me that she was his best friend and there is nothing i can do about it..she disappears bout 2yrs ago ..all of a sudden she is in a bad relationship and pops back in..am i wrong for having a problem with this..is it right for him to have the hidden conversations..please let me know..relationship in jeopardy..
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It isn't wrong for you to feel this way. Relationships are built on trust, respect and understanding, and he seems to be lacking in all three right now.
Sit him down and let him know how you feel. Don't let him brushyou off- Tell him you don't like him keeping secrets from you. Tell him you don't like him seeming to prioritize another woman before you. After all, he married you, he sould devote a good portion of his time and attention to you, not to these other women.
It won't be easy, but it should be done. After all, this situation isn't helping you, and it might not even be helping him.
Good luck.
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I don't think it's right of him to have hidden conversations if he's not hiding anything.
You should sit him down and talk to him and tell him that if he really cares about you he'd tell you the truth ask him why he's having these conversations in private because if there's nothing to hide then you shouldn't don't mind him having conversations with her infront of you. Relationships are based on trust and honesty as well as other things as you probably already know so just tell him that you'd hate to see your relationship get shattered over something you don't know about but have the feeling you need to know about. I hope he understands.
Good luck, hun.
♥Em
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Dear Other Woman, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been in both relationships. My ex had a lot of girl friends and my best friend is a man who is also married. The key? You be thier friend as well. Make friends with this other woman too. She probably is lonely and has no one to turn to except for your husband. This way you can keep an eye on them AND make a new friend too. Your husband and you will become closer as a result. Jealousy can be very ugly and used wrong can totally backfire on you. Be the adult in this situation and everything will be fine. Luann
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I wouldn't have so much of a problem with this if he wasn't hiding it.That would bother me too.
I guess you either put up with it or you don't.I know thats not much to give you.Do you think they are more than friends? They were calling him at home at first so maybe that's all it is.
You need to have a long talk about this.Make your decision after that.Sorry not more helpful.
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Hmm, I would say that it's not okay. But I don't know his story. The only thing I can come up with is to try to get involved with their friendship. If my boyfriend has friends.. they are my friends too. You see? That way you can be more comfortable with the situation. If he doesnt want you talking to this woman, then post me back. Goodluck!! <3
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Definetly not ok. He talks to women, and when you try to tell him that you're bothered, he gets calls on his cell, what a jerk, and then on top of that, he tries to put you on a guilt trip about it by saying, "you don't want me to have friends?" Wrong wrong and wrong. You tell him, that you want this to stop, and by him not stoping means he doesn't respect your very reasonable wishes, I bet he'd feel the same about you talking to guys, would he not? Bring these things up, and if he acts like its so important to have them in his life, and hides things from you, then this will not work at all. What if hes hiding a women that hes having an affair with? If thats not the case now, it will be your next hit if you don't get things straight with him, or, if you're willing and he is willing to work this out, get to a marriage counselor, they will tell him what hes doing is wrong, then he will get the point, and that women told your man, "Hes my best friend and theres nothing she can do about." HOLY crap! He let her say that? Oh my gosh, if he had respect for you, he'd let her go right when she said that, she is VERY disrespectful, I am afraid that you are heading for divorce because of this, this is not right, you know that. Get to marriage counseling, they will help you.
-TheTeenGirl
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Hey there ...
Well there definately is a lack of communication somewhere along the lines, and it appears to be from your husbands end from what your saying. Having girls in his life is not bad in itself, and even having an ex gal friend is not seriously wrong if they parted on good terms and remained friends. It is a wee bit sucispicous though that the ex girlfriend had no contact for two years and is just now contacting your husband, especially after her prior relationship went sour. Her intentions are more than likely not the best, even more so if they parted on bad terms. However if your husband is committed to you, her intentions should not worry you. I'd ask to talk with your husband as to why he feels he needs to suddenly talk to his ex girlfriend. If it's merely for support, and you know your husband loves you, I'd try keeping the communication lines open by saying that even though it makes you uncomfortable you know his committment to you and you'd really appreciate him being more open about what his actual relations with these girls are. he'll less likely feel the need to be defensive ... you can be the judge on his reactions and response as to whether or not to pursue it even further. For instance if you really feel threatened, tell him you feel your realationship is in jeapordy and lay out expecations ... both of you. If they don't coincide, perhaps a marriage counselor may be the next best option if you really want to salvage the relationship ... relationships definately take work, and cause a lot of emotions to arise, just don't let your emotions take control (although that is much easier said than done, that's for sure ... ) If it's easier, before approaching him, vent off all the negative emotions, resentment, anger, what have you (punching bag, scream in a secluded room, go to a kickboxing class, what ever works best for you) and then you'll be in a better frame of mind to speak with rational rather than emotion! The key is communication!!!! I can't stress that eneough.
Hope this helped a bit ...
Good luck,
Alyssa
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Hi Sweetie,
No, what you are feeling is NOT wrong. ...If anything he should be more respectfu to your feelings. You are his wife. ...Nothing should come first. No matter how important it may seem. ...He shouldn't be defensive. Or selfish by thinking "if I want friends, even if they are girls, I'll have friends. I'll be happy and completely forget my wife's feelings." ...It doesn't matter if it's him having conversations with a chick friend o if it's just him not flushing the toilet seat after he uses the potty, but if something is important to you he should understand, respect your opinion and listen to you, talk with you, tell you his feelings and why he makes his decisions, and like a mature adult be able to come with a compromise with you. He shouldn't be angry or try to make you feel guilt. ...You have every right over him. That is what marriage is about. Giving eachother the right over you.
It is very bad that he keeps all his conversations secret. ...Even if that friend were a man, it is not right. The reason is because he is being completely disconsiderate of you. He should try to explain or work out a compromise or understandment, even if he had to give up something, like his friendship. ...If that girl is having relationship problems it is even worst. He really should understand that no matter how close she is... you have a problem with this. No matter how much he may want to help her, all he should do is give her a card of a coupple counselor or refer her somewhere else and wish her good luck, but keep his distance from her. Why? Because there was a problem in YOUR relationship (which should come before anyone else's relationship) and it needed to be solved.
My best wishes. I hope it all turns out for the best. I hope you'll let me know. Goodnight. ~Blessed Be...
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