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humorist-workshop

My girlfriend is not physically attracted to me


Question Posted Monday March 21 2005, 10:17 pm

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 9 months, and its the first time I've loved anyone. Yesterday we were talking about looks and why it does/doesn't matter in a realtionship. She told me she wasint that physically attracted to me but my personality was enough. I didn't know how to react, I just smiled. She basically told me I was ugly and I dont know what to do. It sucks because I love her so much and I feel so low right now. I dont know what to do/what to think/ etc.

-17/male


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bubblegum3865 answered Wednesday March 23 2005, 12:14 pm:
Dump her ass pronto!!

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redxroses answered Tuesday March 22 2005, 2:49 pm:
She might not have meant to make you feel ugly. Some people have 'types,' as how they want their boyfriend/girlfriend to look like. Types don't normally mean crap to good people though. Like I think guys with black hair are hot (yep, stupid), but my last boyfriend was blonde. Maybe you should talk to her about how she made you feel, she'll probably try to make you feel better about it. Looks aren't everything and it's great that you found a girl who likes you for who you really are. Good luck. =D

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_eMiLy answered Tuesday March 22 2005, 1:00 pm:
If you're that worried about it you should ask her what she meant. It might not be what you think it was. She might've meant to say she's not attracted psysically as much as she is personality wise.
Personally, I don't think you should worry it sounds like you both love each other and at the end of the day that's all that matters but if you're that worried you should definatly talk to her about it and tell her that it's been worrying you.
Good luck
♥Em

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karenR answered Tuesday March 22 2005, 2:41 am:
Ask her what she meant.Might not be as bad as you think! I'm willing to bet she didn't mean what you heard.Does that make sense? I say this because my husband is always saying the wrong thing.We joke about it now because it's been going on so long!He doesn't mean it the way it came out....I hope that makes sense!
Have you ever say a girl that you thought was beautiful, and then after you got to know her she was a real bitch? All of a sudden her personality made her ugly? Well a personality can make a plain person look beautiful too.
Whichever way she meant it, i'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings.Go talk to her and set your mind at ease.

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xRainySundayx answered Tuesday March 22 2005, 1:36 am:
I really dont think that she meant to be mean and i definately wouldnt break up with her for that. it seems like she was trying to compliment you, but it didnt come out perfectly.

as far as what to do, say something if it really bothers you. i know its not easy, but it will be better for you in the end.

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TheTeenGirl answered Monday March 21 2005, 11:49 pm:
This girl is bitter, a very bitter women. That was rude, and uncalled for, I think you need to get rid of her, now you're hurt. Nobody thats suppose to be your boyfriend/girlfriend will ever put you down that way. So, I think you deserve better, somebody who will care for you no matter how you look.



-TheTeenGirl

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EJ47 answered Monday March 21 2005, 11:32 pm:
Awww, hey now, that doesn't mean she thinks your ugly. I'd take that as a compliment. That means she loves you for who you are, not what cliche you belong to (if you believe in that crap) or what you look like!! That right there is a true person. If you were ugly, she probably wouldn't have even made the move. I think what you got goin on there is great, so keep it up! ^^ <3 EJ

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NOliesJUSTlove63 answered Monday March 21 2005, 10:50 pm:
babe, dont worry about anything. she really does love you and she just said something wrong. it happens to everyone, but dont get down about anything. just use this time loving her unconditionally and just have fun with it. she probably really does think your hot dont worry.

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Cath answered Monday March 21 2005, 10:38 pm:
Hi Sweetie,
...You are going to have to get her thoughts straight. If you are afraid to try the direct approach and be like "what's the deal? Am I hot or not?" Try asking her to... rate you. "1 being really ugly, and 10 being really hot, what nmber would you give me?" If she wants to get rated too have her rate you first. That way your opinion of her won't influince her opinion of you. Tell her to be honest, and that you won't get hurt. (Even if you will, the only way to get the truth our of her is to convince her you will not be hurt... and if she really thinks you are a 10, she'll say it, but if she thinks you're a 4, she'll say it).
Good luck. Goodnight. ~Blessed Be...

p.s. listen to mylinhthan's advice. I, too, go for the nerdy-looking guys. All of my crushes have been... just not the kind of guys you'd see in the football team or the lead singers of a rock band. My boyfriend IS hot, and I acknowledge it, and other girls do too. But that is not the main factor that attracts me to him. ...That could be what she meant. She could think you are a 10 but tell you "it's not because of your looks that we are together". ...

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mylinhthan answered Monday March 21 2005, 10:37 pm:
anonymous -

Aww, don't feel sad! I speak from experience, cuz I said the same to my boyfriend.

What we mean when we say that looks don't matter to us doesn't imply that you're ugly. What it means is that we love you for you and we're not with you because of your looks!

With my boyfriend, a lot of girls would consider him hot, but quite honestly I'm not attracted to "hot" guys (I tend to like nerdy/average guys). But still I went out with him and as I got to know him better, I grew attracted to him physically because I got to know him.

Your girlfriend doesn't mean anything bad when she's telling you this, it's all on good intention. She's meaning to tell you that she loves you and accepts you for who you are, flaws and all. Take it as a compliment, cuz not a lot of girls can do that (a lot of girls tend to be shallow).

Hope this helps!

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