My friend has trouble with confidence so she asked me to ask a question for her. OK her and this boy were going out but they broke up for a reason that doesn't matter anymore. Now they want to get back together but my friend's too shy. Do you have any tips for her?
LindasCounsel answered Tuesday March 15 2005, 4:49 pm: Dear confidence,
You say "they" want to get back together. As in your friend and the boy want to get back together? So, there is no problem. Unless..... she wants to get back together with him and she only 'thinks' that maybe he does too, in which case, communication is what is called for. How to communicate this to him through her shyness...hmmmmmm. Tell your friend to find an excuse to be around him somehow. (the phone or the computer is NOT the way to do this) She needs to do this in person. Say hi to him without appearing overly friendly but be very nice about it. Look at his reaction. If it's good, then continue, ask him a question or two. About a movie, a new song, a band, classes, etc. And let him do the talking. Pretty soon, she should start to feel more comfortable about opening up. Then have her tell him that she misses him, but only a little. Like a joke. See if he responds in kind. It should be up to him at that point whether he asks her out again or not. He'll definitely get the picture, she won't have made a fool out of herself and quite possibly, they'll get back together! Tell her good luck for me.
Linda [ LindasCounsel's advice column | Ask LindasCounsel A Question ]
blondedramaqueen91 answered Tuesday March 15 2005, 1:27 pm: well if your friend is to shy to ask him out then maybe you could get him to come to her first and ask her about how she would feel about it. If they both feel ok then there should be no problem after that. If she has douts about it then she needs to listen to them because those feelings mean somthing. they aren't there for nuthing . I just hope everything goes ok between and you should know you're a good friend to come and help her! [ blondedramaqueen91's advice column | Ask blondedramaqueen91 A Question ]
i3ARBIExLOVE answered Tuesday March 15 2005, 1:48 am: Tell her to get over her fear and just ask the guy out. Its not that hard. This is how the convo should go.,,
"Hey"
"Hi"
"I have been thinking.. i mean i really like you and it was stupid to split."
"Yea me too."
"Want to go out again?"
Or somthing like that. Just help her get out of her low confidence. Tell her to practice rising her confidence level by taking risks she would never take.
Always there..
Donna [ i3ARBIExLOVE's advice column | Ask i3ARBIExLOVE A Question ]
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