Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
Visitors: 31683
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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Once I have anal sex and it didn't slipper to my vagina, am I still a virgin? (Stressed) (link)
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once a penis has been in your vagina, your no longer a virgin when it comes to sex period.
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My question is my boyfriend and I are. Both virgins and we tried to have sex but it wouldn't go in I was a little embarrassed what do I do? (link)
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Ok, i had this problem my first time too. what you wanna do is maybe have him finger you for a few minutes and have some foreplay like snuggling and kissing so youll relax down there a little, then also you should buy some lube (they have it everywhere like the 99 cent store and its still good quality) then have him slowly try to work his way into you a little at a time. just use lots of lube. also make sure to use proper protection like a a condom obviously.
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Everytime when i want to make one step forward HE comes from somewhere and just with 1 look in his eyes everything comes back, our history our things that will never happen again. He was my first love and i'm afraid if i can forget him cause it takes long time ago when we were WE. I want to forget him and treat him the same way he treated me, maybe then he will understand how much it hurts. I just wanted a little fairytale with happy ending, but now i'm afraid to believe in boys. I need courage that everything will be alright! (link)
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Just because you LOVE someone, also doesnt mean their GOOD for you. alot of times people stay in toxic relationships because they still LOVE the person. Their under this false idea that if they didnt love them anymore then they'd "know" and then thats when it would justify kicking the person outta your life. that couldnt be more wrong. love doesnt always connect with LOGIC, and thats the main problem here. so at the end of the day when it all boils down to it how to you feel about him. put your love aside and ask yourself "is he good for me?" "does he want the things i want in life or is he taking you in a direction you dont see yourself in?" your answer will become clear. good luck ; )
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i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally. (link)
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Well because you havnt given me more of a history like your age or anything like that, all i would say is wait then until you KNOW your really ready to do anything major. You never want to rush into something like this and then have regrets later. also its perfectly normal to be a female yet do masculine things. im a female and i love fixing cars? so im not really sure what your reffering to here.
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should I email somebody i'm having serious problems with explaining things? (link)
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How long have you not been in communication with them? if some time has gone by, they may have come to realize some of the things they said to you have been a bit uncalled for and might be open to fixing things.
Maybe you you email them, you can take the time to think out what you want to say, in a calm manner, get it all out, and make sure what your saying is what you want to say. That way they can read it ALL before replying back and they are forced to see ALL of what you wrote.
Time can definitely change people, maybe if some time has gone by and their in a different stage in life now youll have another chance to reunite or meet back up again an start a new sort of friendship. (((idk what kind of relationship this IS so im just guessing)))
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so me and my boyfriend are I guess sexualy active...I mean he hasn't penetrated so I guess it doesn't count its mostly fore play and making out any way its heating up and you see im a virgin.. I want to have sexs with him but im afraid of pain and I know fore play makes it hurt less and I know I have to communicate with him but im realy shy (link)
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just buy some lube and use lots of it for the first few times. usually your body will create its own natural lube once things "get going".
just be sure to use a condom, lube and have him go slow and everything will be fine after the foreplay. if your ready to have sex with him then you should realize youve already kinda READY to let him "get to know you" on that personal level, so have no fear girly! ; )
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Hi! 22 F
So my mom keeps telling me i need to use something to clean my face. I have really good skin i have never broken out before... Once when i used a cream from origins and after that i was like screw this.. I never ever wash my face i never take my make up off. So i figured i would use something in the shower? Does anybody have any suggestions (link)
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Actually im the same way, some people just arent oily people and actually can break out MORE when they take away what little oil you DO have on your skin. SOME oil on your face is good. you need it. but if you arent naturally a very oily person then theres no need to really "wash" your face with a cleaner. Just using some good make up remover when you take off your make up should also suffice as a gentle facial cleaner. ; )
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My husband is a bit old fashion and doesnt feel we need anything in the bedroom thats new, and we barely ever have sex yet he insists hes happy. Well im pretty UNHAPPY, and want either more sex, or be allowed to use toys if i feel. He does not agree with ANY kind of toys.
I recently discovered the newer toy called the sybian, its uses nothing but vibration. I know that they retail for about 1400 bucks but i found a way to make my own for a fraction of the price! the only problem is i cant tell my husband....
my question is, is it better to own a toy like this and never tell him (risking him discovering it because they arent that easy to hide if your place isnt that large) ORRRR tell him, make the thing anyway, and risk him feeling sad, and or calling me a sex addict because i want it more then he does??
how do i have this talk with him and what can i do to turn him onto toys or at least be OK with them? (link)
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Thanks for the reply geezer, and i will try to do what i did for adviceman and clear things up more so you can get the best picture here.
"I wish I knew if your hubby was always lukewarm in the bedroom or if this is a recent development. When it comes to sex, it is crucial that you both be on the same page. This is where intimacy and communication are vitally important. Sex toys can be a wonderful way to add some spice to your sex life but BOTH partners have to be willing."
Well obviously we had sex way more in the beginning and the about two to three times a week as the years went on, and then about twice a MONTH if we both wernt exhausted from him working and me taking care of our child all day after our son was born. He has always been great in bed, but then again i have no comparison, he was my first and i was his first love. He always (usually) can satisfy me in bed and is a considerate lover, making sure i finish first before he does (whatever it takes) so its not a matter of not being good quality sex cause it IS everytime. it just doesnt happen ENOUGH, and now that im older for some reason im feeling the urge more even when hes asleep in the middle of the night! so im well aware that i have a higher sex drive then him. lol. ive explained to him that thats OK and that i should have a sex drive because i have to keep on wanting babies right?? lol and he seems to understand that so far.
"You need to find out what REALLY turns him on. Get him to tell you about his favorite sexual fantasies."
Ok, ive tried asking him this before and he just clams up and really doesnt want to share with me. he just says that i "turn him on" and that thats "all he needs" but wont elaborate on anything further then that. The frustrating part here is that i hate married friends whos husbands tell them what they like! such and nothing but high heels on etc. but i cant get him to tell me anything which is surprising cause you would think after being together this long, we would be over the shy thing by now, but NOPE. i guess im wrong on that one.
"Ask him if he likes to look at porn and what kind. Maybe you could watch some movies together."
tried that, he doesnt like that watch porn, he says he did that as a younger man and it doesnt turn him on anymore.
"He may be into dress up or role playing, whatever he tells you be willing to try it!"
Tried that before too, i actually used to be a model and used to be high fashion and costumed shoots. lol. i still own alot of the stuff i shot because i bought it myself, so he knows i have it. He just says his usual low toned "nooOOoo" when i suggest that.
"A lot of men feel inadequate if their partner asks to use sex toys, and there is nothing that kills joy in the bedroom faster than a man who feels inadequate!
I knew this could be a barrier and i actually do talk to him and touch him and kiss him all the time, and tell him things, and he just smiles and says his low toned "yesss i know" or "me too" with a kiss.
"If he is an old fashioned kind of guy then the vibrator thing probably has him feeling emasculated. Give him carte blanche,let him call the shots. Tell him it is his turn to show you how HE wants it. He may be the shy kind and you might have to experiment to find out what trips his trigger but once you find his sweet spot the payoff will be worth it!"
I knew that him feeling like competition could be an issue and i told him theres nothing better then him already, so he knows thats not an issue. Hes the type that if i explain things to him logically he will usually go with it and try to be understanding. Thats why in my building a sybian i told him that he could control the gauge on it and it would strictly a "warm up" toy, not a "instead of you" toy. (I was actually hoping to get his help on building it, i thought of it as a fun summer project and something we could do together)
The other thing is that "finding his trigger" has been REALLY difficult! ive been trying to YEARS to figure out what REALLYYYYY will get him going and nothing seems to work! i thought i got close once with some scented lip gloss i bought and put on right before bed cause that SORTA drove him wild but other then that i really havnt been able to come up with much and idk what else to try!
"Some people may not agree with what I am about to say but I think if a woman chooses to use a vibrator because her sex life isn't fulfilling that is her private business and she is under no obligation to tell her husband. My advice however,is to get rid of the vibrator for now and try to steam things up with your guy"
I DO agree with you totally on this, and i do currently already own a toy but had to have a friend use cash to get it for me because he pays our cc bills and would see the transaction and obviously ask me about it lol. but thank you.
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I have shellac nails. What is the safest product to use to keep under my fingernails clean without ruining the shellac on my nails? (link)
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There isnt really a safe product you need, just a nail picker to drag the dirt out. (((i went to nail school, and i do nails for a living))
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I'm Catholic but I really can't stand the bible, it tries to destroy every last religion other than it's own, I have abilities like psychic and have done spells, and never regretted anything I've done (except a weather spell, never making that mistake again) yet the bible hates them, also they tell you to wear your hair a certain way, and dress a certain way, and not to have sex or masturbate. Also they dislike homosexuals and bis (bisexuals) but there's nothing bad about them!!!!!!!!!!!!! So your telling me that if a homosexual helps the poor and Unfourtanate her entire life, educated child Muslims and other religions with a bad background, being blamed of everything (via the bible, I mean when something bad happens, the Muslims are always blamed), worked for no money at hospitals and homeless shelters, Fed, and housed animals and children, saved them from abuse, they would still go to hell just because they are homosexual. The bible can't dictate everybody's life and stop happiness! If the bible was written different, the world would be a better place. The writers did a horrible job of teaching about God. (link)
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Heres my stance on the bible ok, and hopefully this helps you somewhat.
The bible is not real. its a form of mind control that was made up a real long time ago as a guide to show people how to have some common decency (which in itself isnt a bad thing) and to show people how to live their lives because back then, the world was pretty lawless. It was either kill or be killed kinda place. the problem here is that the revisions over and over again to the bible by man became like that game "telephone" where you all sit in a circle and tell the person next to you what you though they just said to you and when it finally gets around to the person it started with, its become so distorted that you think "how could anyone have really said that!!?"
it also uses short fake stories to give people a way to learn certain lessons in life they may not have learned otherwise. which again in itself isnt bad either.
Where the bible TURNS bad is where its been rewritten in certain parts saying that "this type of person is damned, and that type of person is damned" and what not.
i went to sunday school as a kid being raised christian and was kicked out for having too much of a logical thinking mind. I tainted the other children around me and was asked not to come back because of it. even as a child i saw the inconsistencies and questions them right then and there.
such as: if a man should lay down with another man its a sin. How come it doesnt say anything about women?? lol
The bible has been misinterpreted so many times that during the time of reformation, people actually thought the garden of eden was an ACTUAL place! and ships searched all over the world looking for where they thought it because everything in the bible was taken so literally.
lets face it, NO ONE really knows what happens after you die because you cant come back and talk about it. I was taught that if i just live a decent live, helps others, and be excepting of the way people choose to live theres, (AKA hate the sin not the sinner) that everything would just work out in the end. and i still believe that to this day. ; ) good luck.
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This has never happened to me before. I'm 19 years old, sexually active, and I just started my period a couple days ago and today I started leaking like.... Water basically. I don't know what it is but I'm scared. (link)
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ok i think i know what your talking about here.
Some women, once they are of age and are sexually active can have whats called vaginal discharge. now NORMALLY, this discharge is completely normal and this is just your bodies way for regularly making sure that no bad bacteria or anything can get up inside there and cause you problems.
Theres also something called too much vaginal discharge or "secretions" to where you may find yourself changing your undies during the course of a day just to feel comfortable and dry down there. (i know i actually have this issue and ive talked to my doctor about it) its a very common problem and happens more during certain times of the month than others, and isnt necessarily bad, just a bit annoying. for me at least as much as a tablespoon can appear in your underwear to the point were you feel like you need to change!
I know it seems really unfair and totally annoying but really its just your body doing its job well!
You could still go to the doctor though if you want and speak with them about what you can do. i was told pretty much to just wear i liner = /
***the cost of being a woman my friends*** lol.
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i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and whne hes with me he can be nice he can be mean he does buy me things and takes me out. But he refuses to drink when I'm there but he'll go out to parties with his freinds when my friends are there and drink with them! It's just wierd hes started lying to me about my friends being there and they post pictures I know they are there! I don't mind him having a night with his friends but hes out drinking with my friends he never invites me and he refuses to drink when I'm there. Why? Is he hiding something. Next weekend we are going out with his freinds from work but hes willing to drink then? Its just i get anoyed when he goes out partying with my friends he never invites me and it isolates me i'm not bothered that my friends are girls but I am bothered that hes drinking and having a laugh with them and he doesnt with me. He says I always get mad but he lies to me how can I trust him when he lies to me and he isolates ,e from his friends. I'd be happy for him to have a lads night but if other couples are going why can't I come. I've not spoken to him since last night when he went out he says I'm in the wrong for being upset by that but I know I'm not its wierd him going out drinking with MY friends like wtf. Ant advice on what to do here? (link)
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Yes, i agree with dragonfly here. It sounds like there may be more to this then what your getting.
Dragonfly might be totally right about needing to just get on the same page with your boyfriend and letting him know that he can tell you anything without fear of getting a horrible response and that your a big girl and can take it.
I want to toss in here, that isolating anyone from their friends and or family is also a form of psychological abuse. Im not saying that your man is doing it, but it IS a very common thing for boyfriends and girlfriends to not want their significant other to EVER hang out with their friends again once your an official couple even if youve known the person "since forever" and you know your just strictly friends and nothing more.
I lost many friends because their i was friends with their significant other who happened to be a different gender then me. This is a huge grey area for alot of couples because insecurities can definitely come into play here. So make sure that hes not trying to actually isolate you from any of your friends. they are yours and yours alone. Its still your life no matter what your relationship status is with someone else. dont EVER let a man try to tell you who you can and cannot be friends with. this same things goes both ways in a relationship unless you know for sure the "friend" is trying to make moves on your signif. then its really not fair to try to force them to not have quality time with that person.
Just have a good deep talk with your man, and really try to get on the same page when it comes to this issue. good luck sweetie ; )
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She is obsessed with the media and the life of celebrities she almost forgets to live her own, and thinks I don't know about much, just because I'm not as obsessed as her, such as Katy Perry being illuminati or whatever, I found out when I listened to dark horse backwards because of cousin. Also she's really stuck up and calls the entire group,“ buetafull, gorgeous, intelligent, amazing (her name) and other girls. She also calls me racist ALL THE TIME. For example, when this freakishly pale girl said she is Spanish,I said that's weird since most Spanish people are tan, and the annoying girl I'm writing this because of said,“what are you saying?" And I said,“nothing, just Spanish people are tan." And she responded,“don't be racist!" WTF? I wasn't saying anything bad about Spanish people, or tan people. I'm Italian, that's pretty close to Spanish. And another time I was arguing with a boy and said,“there is no difference between white and colored skin!" And she told me I was racist for saying 'colored' but I was saying something completely UNracist. OMFG WTF? She's also defensive in other areas like when I asked her why she is so into romance books, and she started saying,“don't judge me if I like romance!" And starts a fight with this one table at lunch everyday. She steals people's food, breaks their stuff, and throws it. And I'm just supprised she had the nerve to call ME racist when she shouts the N word across the room. But my friends are friends with her so If I leave her I leave the entire group. What do I do? (link)
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Listen, this girl is clearly crazy. Especially if shes trying to start fights for no good reason over things that are minor and could have been totally considered just "a mis-understanding" which happens alot when two people just arent on the same page or view the world in the same way. it doesnt make it ok for her to treat you like dirt.
I will however make a couple of suggestions though:
Spanish people actually come in many forms and can have lighter looking skin or appear to be completely white. (im actually a third spanish) 5'9, thin, with what would normally be considered white skin (although i turn brown much easier in the summer ; ) hehee) so she kinda got ya there!
but i think she may be the kind of person thats constantly on the defensive with people for whatever reason. She sounds a bit self-centered and judgmental HERSELF, just in a different way.
It wont matter if your friends are also her friends, once you tell her infront of the others that your fed up with the way she treats people and talks about people around her and then leave, the others will most likely follow you in time.
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I am a student and i am a hostler.There is a girl who is very arogant. One day we scold her and she said to principal that these girls are taking ragging.Our principal is so arogant that she is not listning to us.And she had put fine on us. My parents cant aford that much. My parents are also not bleaving me. Now i dont know what to do. (link)
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Honestly your english is really broken and im not sure what your asking for.
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Ok so I'm just gonna summarize everything.
1. There's someone that texted my ex's girlfriend something really foul and she thinks it was me.
2. I barely know her so why would she accuse me.
3. She's stupid for not analyzing the situation and jumping into conclusions and start a fight.
4. She recently posted a status that really offended me. I was tagged in the post.
5. She's really popular so I don't know how to deal with her.
6. But she's only strong when there are a lot of people with her.
7. She's stupid for not finding out who it really was texting her.
8. (Not related to topic but my ex looks like Rango)
I'm so sorry if you don't get that but, here is my one specific question. If she tags me in another post(there'll probably be millions more) or tries to embarrass me in public at our school, what are things I can say to tick her off and let her 'embarrass me' plan backfire? (link)
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ok this depends on what she tries to do next to embarrass you?
the one thing that you CAN do though that will usually tick off someone thats trying to just get a reaction out of you is to just STAY CALM. Stay completely poker faced and let THEM do all the ranting and shit talking they want and let them make a fool out of themselves infront of their own friends. Then CALMLY say something like "ok bye i dont wanna be talked to like that" and walk away.
You would have to give me an example of what your talking about for me to REALLY be able to tell you what to say. but the best thing you can do when they try to play a prank on you or anything is to just stay calm unless their trying to attack you physically in someway.
I would probably say "wow you must have wasted alot of time and energy about me to think up all this didnt you?? thats amazing...." because thats what it is to be honest. If shes spending all this time thinking about what she can do to you next then she probably obsessing over you and sooner or later her friends around her that dont care as much about it will get tired of it too.
good luck ; )
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Hi, I'm a 15yr old girl ,from the U.S.A ,but i live in India.
I'm extremely confused about boys in general, Last year, i was friends with this guy and I didn't know he liked me ,because i'm very oblivious, when he asked me, whether I liked him, I got nervous and said no ,because my best friend liked him too. Ever since then, he hasn't talked to me ,but keeps staring at me and I DON'T KNOW WHY? One day, in English class our teacher, paired us up together and he still refuse to talk to me, and still the next day he kept staring at me! So, does he like me or hate me? (link)
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Its obvious he still likes you because why would he still keep staring. Hes probly just hurt cause you didnt say you liked him back. If you like him too, then just tell him, even if he doesnt answer you or want to talk to you. Tell him you like him but that your other friend does too and you dont want to step on your friends toes because she would be really hurt. Then let him take some time to think about what he thinks you guys should do.
Ive been in this same situation where i liked a guy but so did my friend and i didnt want her to be upset with me cause she was my best friend. Well we all grew up, i got married, she ended up with someone ELSE, and yet those feelings of caring for each other still remain. Ill never know how things could have gone though because i stepped aside for my friend.
So just tell the guy how you feel and that you "know" he still likes you because you "can tell" because he keeps on staring at you but that it ok to do that.
good luck ; )
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So, I'm 14 and he's 13. Basically this boy said to my friend that he thinks I'm annoying and he hates me, I really like him a lot and he has liked me before in that way but now he hates me. I think he said I'm annoying because my friend spammed him on MY snapchat, he knows it was her now but I still feel bad.
What can I do to make him like me again? Just as a friend at least, I hate knowing that he doesn't like me as a friend 😩😞 (link)
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Just go right up to him and tell him your sorry about the snapchat thing and that you would never do anything like that to him cause you think hes cool, and you can even ask if you could make it up to him by going out to have pizza sometime a the mall even if theres other friends there its ok. then you can get to hang out with him outside of school and he can get to see you being you, and see if he likes that.
Then if he does but still isnt sure, you can invite him places with you and some other friends, and say that you were just thinking that he might like this or that and wanted to be nice and invite him cause you thought he'd have fun.
i think it would make a huge difference if you just confronted this head on and told him sorry and you didnt know it happened until later and that you would never do anything uncool like that.
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I have a boyfriend of over one year and I love him but I may be developing feelings for my guy best friend? He's so funny and understands me on another level. He never fails to cheer me up and no matter how irritated I get I always want to be there for him. The problem is I feel the same way for both my boyfriend and my bestfriend. I've obviously lived through a lot more with my boyfriend, but my friend is something else. But why should I risk such an amazing relationship? And why is that even crossing my mind. My boyfriend is such Ana amazig guy and deserves nothing but the best. But so does me best friend😭 god I don't know what to do, every passing day everything becomes harder. I can stare I to my best friends eyes even if the feelings aren't corresponded. Am I in love with two guys? (link)
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I have to agree with misspiggy here. have you ever seen a wedding ceremony where the couple tells each other "i got to marry my best friend"??? its very true.
theres two ways you could take this: you could try to calm yourself down, and continue to date your boyfriend and stay friends with your bestie guy friend until the bottom falls out with your man, THEN date your guy bestie OR you could break someone heart and date your bestie.
For now i would still date my boyfriend and always keep your guy bestie in your hip pocket. you never really know what might happen in a relationship to lead things down a road of no return. Then once that happens, youll have your guy bestie to turn to huh?
im MARRIED, and i have several male friends who lets say "admire" me. My husband even knows this, but i keep all relationships/friendships in check at all times. Remembering that i DID marry my best friend, but i also have other men would kill to take his place at any time, but instead they stay friends with me and if ever something should happen between me and mine, ill have five different guys to turn to.
The lesson here: youll always have that guy to fall back on because he has your best interest at heart, so keep him close incase anything ever happens and you and your current man break up.
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I am wanting to sleep with my bf. I am a virgin he isn't. I was wondering what is the easiest and less painful way to do this. Should he do it slowly an inch at a time or push in slowly all at once? any tips or opinions on this would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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If your a virgin, make him buy some condoms and a tube of lube. youll need alot the first time because your going to be very tight and his penis will break your hymen and you may bleed a tinsy bit. Have him move very slowly and everything should be fine. just start out slowly and well lubed. put lube on the condom he's wearing as well.
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My parents are going through severe financial difficulties. I'm a student still at home at 21 as I can't afford to move out. I recently reconnected with my ex boyfriend whom my parents and brother disagree of. We had a big verbal fall out and broke up months ago. He was a big drinker but quit almost a year ago in order to save our relationship. He says he loves me and I love him. My family found out about this and have threatened that if I so much as befriend my ex I'll be kicked out, and that I've somehow betrayed them all. I seen my brothers messages to his girlfriend and they're quite abusive towards me. My family stalked and followed me to his house. They've become increasingly paranoid and I feel vulnerable and bullied by their behaviour. Should I try to move out? I can't stay any longer. It's constant verbal abuse and I'm not even sure what for any more. I always try to keep the peace but they are taking it too far telling me who to hang out with and even following me. Please advise me as I'm so shocked by their abusive words. I want my boyfriend back but don't want to lose my family, even though they're being cruel through their own problems. It's like they blame me and him for their own difficulties. (link)
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Yeah i would also have to agree with the other posters here. If you can move out with someone you trust that will still allow you to finish school and what not then i would do it. you shouldnt have to put up with that and your parents should give you more credit that you can make you own choices when it comes to people. theres just some things that kids have to learn and they have to sometimes feel it and or get "hurt" a little along the way in order to fully understand.
im sure you feel hurt that they cant even trust you to make your own judgments. i would have told them that long ago. if this guy has never hit you, or abused you then theres no reason why they have the right to not trust him. I also think stalking you isnt ok either even if its family, its your life and they have to give you some room to breathe and grow as a person.
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