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my father hates me since i was 13 years old in now am 17. and am afriad of him ever since he had went to jail cause of me for abuse. my mom and him hasnt spoken sence and when i dream of him its like nightmare and i more afriad of him. I ALSO HIDE FROM HIM WHEN HIS IN THE HOUSE IN HE DONT EVEN ASK IF AM AROUND OR NOT! (link)
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This was already posted here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=597244
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my father hates me since i was 13 years old in now am 17. and am afriad of him ever since he had went to jail cause of me for abuse. my mom and him hasnt spoken sence and when i dream of him its like nightmare and i more afriad of him. I ALSO HIDE FROM HIM WHEN HIS IN THE HOUSE IN HE DONT EVEN ASK IF AM AROUND OR NOT! (link)
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This was already posted here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=597244
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The IP Brake light comes on when I get above 35 MPH on my 92 GMC truck. Have all new brakes, & full pedal, stops good. (link)
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Hi there,
Just for reference, and so they don't laugh when you take it in, that is the ((!P))Brake light. :-)
This could be any number of things, but the last one I saw was a wheel sensor (for the anti-lock brakes) malfunctioning.
If you need to replace that wheel hub assembly, have a look at eBay... I found one for my car which was American made and cost one THIRD what my parts store wanted.
The company I bought from was Dearborn Rack and Axle, if I recall correctly.
Good luck!
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is my xgirlfriend wanting to work things out with me (link)
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Why don't you try asking this again, and this time provide some details like... oh, I don't know... maybe what she is doing that makes you think she might be trying to get back together with you?
We don't read minds, or tell the future.
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well im a guy and i really want to give a guy a great blowjob. the thing is I want it to be great for him. So can anybody give me any advice on how to give a great blowjob? (link)
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Nope, no advice on giving a blowjob... but something you should know:
You CAN get STDs from giving oral sex. You should also know that condoms don't stop herpes or HPV (which causes genital warts/cancer.)
This has nothing to do with you both being guys... this info goes for any combinations of genders.
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first im not going to say my age because I dont want to hear that im too young. but im older than 13.
anyway :
so I'm going to try and put this as short as possible. its going to be 2 years that I met this guy we'll call him M. well during the first year, the first couple of weeks I developed a huge crush on M. but I never went for him because he was well more popular than me and I was kind of a real big loser. so I knew he would never date me. anyway so my crush for him during the first year was huge! than well during the second year I became bestest friends with this girl name well S. and she out of no where started to like M. and they ended up dating ! I was definitely happy for both of them. and M's bestfriend T, I kinda liked him. specially because S told me to go for him and that he was flirting with me big time! turns out he was leading me on. anyway back to S and M.. but when she was dating him she always complained he was too shy and she broke things off after a week and a half! I was happy that they broke up because S was always complaining and she didn't give him time to open up. so I still had my huge crush on him, even when they dated. I told S that and she told me I could have him. so anyway I went to this party that my friend let's call her MK was throwing. anyway when I got out of the car they were all outside and M was there! during the party that night we flirted alot and well he had his first kiss that night while playing truth or dare. I was very jealous . anyway we had a strong connection and after that we would text and talk all the time. a month later we started to date, plus he asked me to go to semiformal with him at formal he bought me a rose, which to this day I still have. he has forsure been really shy with me but I never thought of breaking up with him! after 5 months he did eventually loosen up. in that 5 months we did get to know eachother very well. we've now been together 8 months in two days. but I'm worried.. I think we may be going to fast. and I know for a fact it's not his fault ! i thought about this awhile ago really even though we dated for 8 months I gave my first handjob, blowjob, he's fingered me, gave me hickies, played and sucked my boobs, and we had sex and I got on the pill all in 3 months now that I think about it ! do you think this is going fast? please help! thanks in advance (link)
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It is hard to answer you without more information.
How old are you? I don't really care about the number, I just want to know if you are ready to start a family?
Even with a condom and BC pills, babies happen.
So, if you are ready to be pregnant, and want to raise children with this guy, then that changes things.
Another question would be: Is he ready to have kids... or will you tell him about the baby and never see him again?
See where I am going with this?
What I am really worried about is that you lost your virginity to this guy, but it sounds like he had been around a bit before you.
This means it would have been a good idea to have him tested for STDs before you so much as touched him down there.
Herpes isn't stopped by condoms. HPV which causes genital warts and cancer isn't stopped by them either.
Worse yet, there is NO test for HPV in men.
Basically, because you didn't have him get a complete STD screening before you had sexual contact with him (and yes, you CAN get certain STDs from oral sex and hand-jobs) I think you have been going too fast.
The important thing right now, is to get yourselves tested. Don't take no for an answer. If he refuses, then he has something to hide.
You would be surprised how many questions that are almost exactly the same as your own come through this site. Some of the users stay around for years, and the one thing I have noticed is this:
NOBODY says: "Boy I sure am glad I started having sex at 14!" Nobody.
Many people regret this for the rest of their lives.
Here is the part you really don't want to hear:
What are you going to do when he moves on to another girl, and you are obsessed with him for life because he was your first?
I know you don't want to think about this, but of the thousands of users who come to this site in your situation, take a wild guess how many are still together later in life... yep, you guessed it: Just about zero.
So, let me ask you a question:
If he dumped you tomorrow, would you regret having sex with someone who may have given you HPV, which may leave you infertile or dead from cancer?
If the answer is yes, then you are going too fast.
If the answer is no, then this situation is the least of your worries.
Good luck, and I hope you make smart choices about getting tested.
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I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with a woman.talked to my boyfriend about it hie answer was yes but when I called him into the room to come see he rubed her pussy and let her suck his dick without asking me if it was ok. I say it's cheating because I did not give him premission to do anything and it's been over a year and I still hurt behind this (link)
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Imagine this: You have a lovely fresh baked cake. You bring it into the house, and you ask your boyfriend if he thinks it would be nice to have cake. He says "Yes, we should have some cake!"
You then go in the other room, eat some of the cake (pun intended) then invite him in for some cake.
He has some cake. The cake which YOU wanted in the first place... the cake which YOU picked out and brought home... And you are mad at HIM for having cake?
You can be hurt all you want, but the mistake here is your own. First mistake was bringing someone else into your relationship. Once this happens, most people want this to happen again and again.
Second mistake was not telling him the truth about what you had in mind. That you selfishly wanted all the cake for yourself.
Basically what you wanted was a license to cheat on him without him getting anything out of it.
When you look at it like that, does this make better sense?
Please stop holding this against your boyfriend. You made both of the mistakes here, and complaining about it or being hurt, only makes you look extremely self centered.
Good luck to you.
P.S. Before you make the mistake of jumping his case about this, you should know one thing:
I, and I imagine most men, would dump you IMMEDIATELY if you came back and said you wanted a license to cheat, instead of a shared experience as a couple.
You have to tell people these things up front. Once the game is over, you don't get to change the rules anymore.
Be careful how you handle this, if you want to stay in this relationship.
You might want to talk to a couples counselor to get your head around this before you make the situation any worse than it is.
P.P.S. If you are bi-sexual, you should be honest with him about it.
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Um but what if I lost my virginity at a younger age and I lost it to smeone that I didn't want him to have? (link)
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I would have to ask why you gave your virginity to someone you didn't want to have it?
If you made the choice to have sex, then you have to live with that choice.
If the sex was against your will, then that is rape, and you need to contact the police.
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Does Haggai is my future boyfriend? or soon to be my husband? (link)
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Where did you get the idea that we have people who tell the future?
You know better than we do who your husband will be.
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what whould you do if you find out that the man you are about to get married to is important and you really love him? will you just go on and believe in miracles or what pease help me out (link)
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Would you re-ask this please?
I think you left a word out somewhere, because as it is written now, it doesn't make sense.
You are saying you found out he is important to you, and you love him... then what would you need to believe in miracles for if you already about to be married?
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I've been having a lot of problems with my boyfriend and i recently started self harming again, i always hit my head when he aggravates me or ignores me and i cut myself when i feel he doesnt care, no one knows about it only him. i am 19 yrs old and i did this from age 11-15 then i stopped when i started dating him cause he made my life better than before (we've been together since then). Well lately every time we argue i always try and go to sleep because i seem to forget, but when i cant to go to sleep i start hitting my head uncontrollably and start cutting. Yesterday he made me mad and i started hitting my head really bad more than ever before and really hard so i was afraid cause i started going crazy and having thoughts of killing and weird thoughts and i tried falling asleep but couldnt because i had taken a nap that day so i took Acetaminophen PM with sleep aid (cause my head was hurting from when i hit it). and i fell asleep from 9-7 a.m. i woke up cause he called me and i felt really sleepy my head felt really heavy and tingly and i couldnt talk right and my head felt numb and it hurt a lot. I fell back asleep and woke up at 9 a.m. and felt soo sleepy i tried getting up and almost fell over and i was so dizzy and my head feels so heavy i thought maybe it was because i hadnt eaten since yesterday i only ate an apple (i dont starve myself i usually eat a lot i just had a lot on my mind and i slept most of the day since i was arguing with my boyfriend). I managead to serve myself cereal but could barely eat cause i kept falling asleep and i could barely put the spoon to my mouth and i cant smile or open my mouth a lot and my head feels like its gonna fall over. I have been depressed since as long as i can remember from age 11-15 i cut myself and i attempted to commit suicide all the time and my mom would spank me with a belt so i wouldnt do it anymore and get really mad and say i was such a brat cause other people had it worse yet i would cut myself and wanna die, and sometimes her hitting me would stop me from cutting cause i was scared she was gonna find out and hit me and yell at me and i hate seeing her mad or upset. but that stopped and i had been telling her i have been feeling more depressed than usual cause i always feel depressed and that i've been hitting my head when aggravated and she just said its cause im such a brat and i over react at stuff. but today i felt weird so i told her this morning and she got really mad and yelled that she hated me and that she was gonna hit me and i swore i wouldnt do it anymore but anyway im scared cause i feel like just going to sleep even though i slept almost all day yesterday and my head feels wierd like i can write this because i know the keyboard by memory after years of taking the computer class in school but i cant read like if i tried to read something i cant but yet again i can write this.But could this be because of the pills i took or is this serious and yes I know im depressed but my family can barely afford to pay the bills and get enough food we have no type of insurance and dont qualify for any we cant afford even going to the doctor so most of the time we dont go and we already owe so much to the hospital so now we dont ever go even if we are in excruciating pain cause we cant afford it.my parents cant afford missing a day a work to go so they go to work with the pain and i dont have family here cause i came from mexico and im now legal but i dont have anyone and since im so depressed and negative i dont have any friends i only have my boyfriend who works nights and works twelve hour shifts and hasnt had a day off in YEARS. he works from 10-10 gets home at 11 wakes up at 6 showers eats sees me sometimes plays games or just lays and relaxes til he leaves at 9, he hates going out because he is always tired and the light bothers him and his legs and joings always hurt he hates his job but cant find a better one. What should i do? Like should i go to sleep? or Should i wait til my boyfriend wakes up and tell him to take me to the Dr (he does have money since he works a lot) but right now his family took it all(like always) and he only has like a 500 dollars, he told me, or should i just not worry about it cause it could be like my depression or the pill i took? or is there anything i can do myself i tried listening to music or trying to wake up and i cant i feel so sleepy even as i write this my eyes close ? (link)
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It is time for you to go to the emergency room. Period.
You can't mess around where potential brain injury is concerned.
There are many other issues which all boil down to you need to seek professional help for these self harming problems, but for right now you need emergency medical treatment.
Dial 911 and tell them what has happened. You will not get in trouble,
Please call now. You need help.
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Hey man! It's wrong.The premarital sex thing.GOD Answered the question HIMSELF through people.Thanks anyways.Deuteronomy 22:13-the end.Try reading it. (link)
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When did I ever argue against this? Seriously?
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I'm not going to write a massive answer, as I just want a guide as to how to make this decision.
So I'm 15 years old and pregnant with my ex's baby. I've made an appointment to have an abortion, and I've already had my councelling/consultation, so my next appointment is obviously the actual procedure. However, since then I've been having second thoughts about whether or not I actually want the abortion to take place...
I understand that a fair few of the users will be against abortion, and I don't really want any hateful comments. I know the consequences to each of the three options I have (those being abortion, adoption and keeping the baby), I just don't know how I'm going to make this decision as I'm only young, and generally an indecisive person.
Thank you xx (link)
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You know, as emotional states in which to make a decision of this magnitude go, this is about the worst.
The funny thing about this decision you have to make is the finality of it all.
With abortion, your time is very limited. With adoption and keeping the baby your time to make the call is about the same.
I feel for your situation, and can only impart what I have come up with in my own life so far.
I am the owner of this site, and, as such, I have had time to watch trends on this topic over the last several years. The thing I have noticed is that of all the people who have passed through here, having had abortions, most regret the decision.
We have had people write in trying to find away to avoid suicide after having an abortion, then realizing they wanted to have the baby afterall.
One young woman wrote and said that every time she sees a baby in a stroller, she pictures herself putting a gun to the baby's head and pulling the trigger because of the choice she made in her own pregnancy.
My suggestion at this point is to be up-front with your parents, and to seek counseling as well.
This is a decision that will effect you for the rest of your life.
If you decide you want to give the child up for adoption, I know, personally, half a dozen couples that would love to make your baby a part of their family.
So, how do you make the decision? Well, one way is to play the odds. What are the odds you are going to look into those tiny eyes forming within you now, and feel a well of love that you can't even find words for? Pretty high, in my experience.
What are the odds that someone out there will love that child like an absolute miracle in their lives, even if you want nothing to do with the little one? Pretty high, in my experience.
What are the odds that you will end the life within you and never feel bad about it? Pretty low, by my observation here on Advicenators.
If logic follows, then I hope you will take a little more time to think about this.
What do you really lose taking that time?
If you don't have an abortion, I promise you 100% that there is someone who will want the baby, even if you decide you don't want to be a mother.
If you write me directly, I will put you in touch with just such a couple who have been trying for a child for over 10 years.
Take your time making this decision. You can never un-do it, and you have to live with the resultant feelings for the rest of your life, so please don't make a hasty decision.
If you need anything at all, please feel free to drop a note in my inbox here:
http://www.advicenators.com/question.php?u=16820
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hlo sir i am 25 year old girl . 1 year before i was pregnant with my boyfriend and had a abortion.now i m getting married to other guy. would he came to know this after marriage. (link)
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He will probably find out one way or another.
You should probably tell him. Nobody wants to marry a liar, right?
In most people, abortion leaves emotional damage that you are both going to have to deal with. If you aren't honest, then he will think he has done something wrong and made you feel bad.
There is something else to consider. A surprising number of people who have had a D&C performed are never able to bear children again.
Imagine how over your marriage will be if he finds out the reason you can't have a family together is because you were irresponsible with another man, and had an abortion.
Here is the simple truth: People do incredibly stupid things. Everyone knows this.
If you are honest, he will probably be able to overcome this. If you lie, the marriage will probably end someday because of this lie.
If you love him enough to marry him, and he loves you enough to marry you... then everything will work out.
If he doesn't love you enough to overcome this, then it is better to find out now.
Please don't lie to him anymore.
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are high cheek bones considered good and gorgeous? do girls look good with high cheek bones along with medium or small sized eyes? (link)
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High cheek bones by themselves don't make a person pretty or not, BUT all things being equal I personally think most women I have seen with high cheek bones are prettier than those without.
Look back over the years at cover models. How many have beautifully high cheeks? Just about all of them. Guess that says something, right? :-)
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Hi DN,
I think there's something off with the layouts. My column looks really strange and everyone's page seems to have the same style (the site yours normally has, I believe)
Maybe it's my browser (Chrome), but I've been using it since I got this laptop and today is the first day I noticed. (link)
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Hi there,
Thanks for the heads-up! I think this is why they call them bugs... I squashed one, and a new one arrived to take the first one's place. :-)
Should be all fixed now.
If anything weird shows up, please let me know again.
I really appreciate the help.
DN.
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first off, your response to that other respondent's question was the first thing I saw online that spoke to how I see my own dilemma. "they" all tell me that suicide is unjustified, selfish, think about all the pain you will cause others, or think about how they won't be impressed over your suicide. I feel like this norm is the only thing stopping me from doing it. When I did consider how others would be hurt, I could only come up with a list of instrumental concerns, that is colleagues and/or collaborators whose work would be affected by my absence, but I can't think of anyone that would be genuinely emotionally affected. not one. I'd like to know more about what this "something" is that keeps one from suicide, because I have nothing else. (link)
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This ended up in my box (site owner) because the user you tried to contact doesn't allow contact from certain users (usually unregistered ones.)
If you will write again, with their username and a link to the question/answer you are talking about, I will forward it to them.
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Hi.Thanks for the message.Well,i take relationships as experience in life that actually teaches one to know how to act in subsequent situations/circumstances.I don't know,but the idea of masturbation,though,i have done it several times,is just not...good.I don't know..i think it's more natural to have a discrete relationship with a woman.Masturbation entails a lot of other things.So...i really do not(though i've done it several times) want to do it anymore.But relationships include a lot of things that a lot of people don't think about-love,care,helpmeet,friendship and so on.It's not good to be lonely.It's not good for a man to be alone.Our FATHER HIMSELF said it.So,if i can not have a woman,cause i can't get married,cause my parents don't want me to,now..(i'm 25 years and 6 months old) who helps you in the time of loneliness?and in times of sexual urge,which is absolutely a normal physiological need?Thanks for the message man.Hope to read from you as soon as you can reply.Thanks. (link)
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Hi there,
Really only three possibilities here:
One: You didn't read my answer completely.
Two: You aren't going to listen to anyone, unless they tell you to go do what you were planning to do anyway.
Three: You are trolling for emotional reactions from people.
"i think it's more natural to have a discrete relationship with a woman.Masturbation entails a lot of other things."
So... you want to have a "discreet" relationship with a woman because masturbation entails "a lot of other things?"
Obviously you haven't been in a relationship if you expect anyone to believe you are serious about relationships being less complicated than masturbation.
So, since you are going to do whatever you want anyway, please don't waste people's time here by asking for advice that you already know you will not take.
I am sorry you will have to learn your lessons the hard way, but I guess that is just how it goes sometimes.
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A girl's hymen break a few years later he again made at Saks becomes not? (link)
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Once a hymen is broken, it is gone forever.
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What are the chances of a condom breaking, or failing? (link)
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The statistics seem to run between 5% and 2% failure rates when used perfectly.
Much worse odds when not used correctly.
Ask yourself this one: If there were a 5% chance of you getting a disease that will be with you for life... would it be worth it?
You can live through pregnancy, but some of the other things you can get through sex such as HIV/AIDS and HPV (Which can cause cancer) are things you may not live through.
Now that 5% is looking pretty ugly, isn't it? :-(
As if that wasn't the scary part: HPV (Genital warts and cancer) and herpes (both kinds) aren't prevented by condoms in all cases.
You must be a pretty smart person to be asking these questions BEFORE you do something stupid instead of after, like most people.
Good for you!
Now use that big brain you have and make sure you only have sex with someone who gets tested for STDs in your presence, no matter what they say about their past.
People lie.
Horny people lie more.
In this case, people's lies can kill you.
Thanks for giving me hope that not everyone is an idiot about this. :-)
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