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Going too fast ? It isn't his fault!
first im not going to say my age because I dont want to hear that im too young. but im older than 13.
anyway :
so I'm going to try and put this as short as possible. its going to be 2 years that I met this guy we'll call him M. well during the first year, the first couple of weeks I developed a huge crush on M. but I never went for him because he was well more popular than me and I was kind of a real big loser. so I knew he would never date me. anyway so my crush for him during the first year was huge! than well during the second year I became bestest friends with this girl name well S. and she out of no where started to like M. and they ended up dating ! I was definitely happy for both of them. and M's bestfriend T, I kinda liked him. specially because S told me to go for him and that he was flirting with me big time! turns out he was leading me on. anyway back to S and M.. but when she was dating him she always complained he was too shy and she broke things off after a week and a half! I was happy that they broke up because S was always complaining and she didn't give him time to open up. so I still had my huge crush on him, even when they dated. I told S that and she told me I could have him. so anyway I went to this party that my friend let's call her MK was throwing. anyway when I got out of the car they were all outside and M was there! during the party that night we flirted alot and well he had his first kiss that night while playing truth or dare. I was very jealous . anyway we had a strong connection and after that we would text and talk all the time. a month later we started to date, plus he asked me to go to semiformal with him at formal he bought me a rose, which to this day I still have. he has forsure been really shy with me but I never thought of breaking up with him! after 5 months he did eventually loosen up. in that 5 months we did get to know eachother very well. we've now been together 8 months in two days. but I'm worried.. I think we may be going to fast. and I know for a fact it's not his fault ! i thought about this awhile ago really even though we dated for 8 months I gave my first handjob, blowjob, he's fingered me, gave me hickies, played and sucked my boobs, and we had sex and I got on the pill all in 3 months now that I think about it ! do you think this is going fast? please help! thanks in advance <3
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It is hard to answer you without more information.
How old are you? I don't really care about the number, I just want to know if you are ready to start a family?
Even with a condom and BC pills, babies happen.
So, if you are ready to be pregnant, and want to raise children with this guy, then that changes things.
Another question would be: Is he ready to have kids... or will you tell him about the baby and never see him again?
See where I am going with this?
What I am really worried about is that you lost your virginity to this guy, but it sounds like he had been around a bit before you.
This means it would have been a good idea to have him tested for STDs before you so much as touched him down there.
Herpes isn't stopped by condoms. HPV which causes genital warts and cancer isn't stopped by them either.
Worse yet, there is NO test for HPV in men.
Basically, because you didn't have him get a complete STD screening before you had sexual contact with him (and yes, you CAN get certain STDs from oral sex and hand-jobs) I think you have been going too fast.
The important thing right now, is to get yourselves tested. Don't take no for an answer. If he refuses, then he has something to hide.
You would be surprised how many questions that are almost exactly the same as your own come through this site. Some of the users stay around for years, and the one thing I have noticed is this:
NOBODY says: "Boy I sure am glad I started having sex at 14!" Nobody.
Many people regret this for the rest of their lives.
Here is the part you really don't want to hear:
What are you going to do when he moves on to another girl, and you are obsessed with him for life because he was your first?
I know you don't want to think about this, but of the thousands of users who come to this site in your situation, take a wild guess how many are still together later in life... yep, you guessed it: Just about zero.
So, let me ask you a question:
If he dumped you tomorrow, would you regret having sex with someone who may have given you HPV, which may leave you infertile or dead from cancer?
If the answer is yes, then you are going too fast.
If the answer is no, then this situation is the least of your worries.
Good luck, and I hope you make smart choices about getting tested.
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Well I wouldn't say you guys are going too fast. Just don't let him get caught up in the things you guys are doing. What I've learned is that when you're younger, the guys always get too caught up in the sex and the relationship is just based around that. That's not what you want.
I know that there are adult men who do that too but it happens alot with teenagers.
So anyway, I don't think you guys are going too fast but just watch yourself.
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Hm.. alright well it's not good your with a guy who leaded you on a bit before... but hey! people change lol. So.. no I don't think you guys are going fast at all...trust me it will come naturally as most people told me.. it's okay with what your doing just be careful and wear a condom and/or keep the pills and all. Its not too fast because.. you showed that you've known him more then 8 months so that is fine.. you guys like/love eachother so it really shouldn't matter:)
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