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I'm split between my options...
I'm not going to write a massive answer, as I just want a guide as to how to make this decision.
So I'm 15 years old and pregnant with my ex's baby. I've made an appointment to have an abortion, and I've already had my councelling/consultation, so my next appointment is obviously the actual procedure. However, since then I've been having second thoughts about whether or not I actually want the abortion to take place...
I understand that a fair few of the users will be against abortion, and I don't really want any hateful comments. I know the consequences to each of the three options I have (those being abortion, adoption and keeping the baby), I just don't know how I'm going to make this decision as I'm only young, and generally an indecisive person.
Thank you xx
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
Just make sure you know exactly what you are doing. If you get an abortion, there is no undoing it. It you get pregnant again it will be a different child. They will take the fetus out and it will die. However, this is your decision, I just want to make sure you know what your choice is so there will be no regrets. Adoption gives you child away, another family raises them and you have to live knowing you have a child out there. However, this gives live to the child. Keeping the baby will drastically alter you life, but can be in a positive way. However, it will be hard. Take your time to think it through and look up as much true information about abortion, adoption, and parenting. Don't be unsure or let yourself be rushed. These are permanent choices.
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You know, as emotional states in which to make a decision of this magnitude go, this is about the worst.
The funny thing about this decision you have to make is the finality of it all.
With abortion, your time is very limited. With adoption and keeping the baby your time to make the call is about the same.
I feel for your situation, and can only impart what I have come up with in my own life so far.
I am the owner of this site, and, as such, I have had time to watch trends on this topic over the last several years. The thing I have noticed is that of all the people who have passed through here, having had abortions, most regret the decision.
We have had people write in trying to find away to avoid suicide after having an abortion, then realizing they wanted to have the baby afterall.
One young woman wrote and said that every time she sees a baby in a stroller, she pictures herself putting a gun to the baby's head and pulling the trigger because of the choice she made in her own pregnancy.
My suggestion at this point is to be up-front with your parents, and to seek counseling as well.
This is a decision that will effect you for the rest of your life.
If you decide you want to give the child up for adoption, I know, personally, half a dozen couples that would love to make your baby a part of their family.
So, how do you make the decision? Well, one way is to play the odds. What are the odds you are going to look into those tiny eyes forming within you now, and feel a well of love that you can't even find words for? Pretty high, in my experience.
What are the odds that someone out there will love that child like an absolute miracle in their lives, even if you want nothing to do with the little one? Pretty high, in my experience.
What are the odds that you will end the life within you and never feel bad about it? Pretty low, by my observation here on Advicenators.
If logic follows, then I hope you will take a little more time to think about this.
What do you really lose taking that time?
If you don't have an abortion, I promise you 100% that there is someone who will want the baby, even if you decide you don't want to be a mother.
If you write me directly, I will put you in touch with just such a couple who have been trying for a child for over 10 years.
Take your time making this decision. You can never un-do it, and you have to live with the resultant feelings for the rest of your life, so please don't make a hasty decision.
If you need anything at all, please feel free to drop a note in my inbox here:
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