"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144171
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17/F
Hi! I am going on a road trip cross country this summer with my mom. I'm very excited except for one problem I have been dealing with for about 7 years: I can't pee anywhere but my home bathrooms. The last roadtrip I took, I ended up in the hospital 3 nights in a row with 2 temporary catheters and 1 permanent one I had to have for a week (it was extremely painful, especially since I still had to drive 8 more hors home.) I was wondering if anybody had any advice on what I can do to pee in a public bathroom? Is there some medication I can take or some mental trick?? Thanks so much!! (link)
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Bring your CD player or MP3 player in the stall with you.
Sit down, relax, turn on your music, and close your eyes. Think of how relaxing it is to just sit down and listening to some music.
Forget that you're in a public restroom (or a restroom other than your own).
Relax and just let things happen naturally. Don't panic over not being able to go and definitely do not rush yourself. If it takes you an hour to relax enough to go then just sit and relax for an hour. Don't push, don't strain, don't force yourself...just let it happen.
Drink a lot of pure, clean water on the roadtrip to avoid dehydration and to help you go easier. Make sure you eat balanced means, too, to keep things in it's natural routine.
Listen to your body. When you have to go, don't hold it. Stop and head to the nearest bathroom with the above trick and relax until it happens. The key in all of this is listening to your body, usually.
I also suggest taking a cranberry supplement (not the juice--a lot of prepackaged juices are full of other things, including sugars or artificial ingredients). You can find cranberry pills a lot of locations. I think even WalMart sells them. It can help cut down on some inflamation in the urinary tract if you end up getting a little nervous and holding it on the toilet for awhile. It will not PREVENT anything--but it might help to calm some of the parts down if you hold it longer than you usually do.
It also may help if you take regular breaks to "try" to go, even when you aren't feeling like it. Sometimes if your body knows that every hour will mean sitting on a potty for 15 minutes to wait and see if you need to go it will get into the groove and let things flow out naturally. Give it a try, too. I would still bring the music along and relax.
It's just having to relax and realize that nothing bad is going to happen to you in a public restroom. No scary germs are going to get you. Nobody is going to be mad at you for going in that toilet. Nobody is going to laugh at you for taking a potty break. You're growing into an adult and things like this need to be learned.
And, no, don't be afraid about the MP3/music thing. Nobody is going to think it's silly, especially if they already know you have had problems before. If you're roadtripping with friends give them a heads up that it might take you a little longer in the restroom. Nobody will ask why ;)
You can do it! I have faith! :)
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Whats my future?
20 yearl old female Dorothy (link)
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Not so bright.
Then again, we're, typically, not mind-readers here on Advicenators. ;)
I hope you find what you're looking for, Dorothy, because you're the only one who can answer what will be in store for your own future.
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18/male
i guess i woould start by saying lately i feel like shit. my head just doesn't feel right and by not right i mean i feel like i just did drugs.(i don't do drugs unless perscribed by a doctor) I can't coordinate myself quite right. Just typing this is hard. and either i sleep to much or i can't sleep at all. I used to love playing video games and hanging with my friends, but i just don't feel like doing it anymore. last time i was at the doctors they said i was healthy. I don't know does anybody know about why i may be feeling this way? (link)
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You should take note of your own knowledge of your own health.
Do you exercise regularly?
Do you drink enough pure, clean water?
Are you taking a good vitamin supplement to ensure you have enough nutrients?
Do you eat a lot of processed foods?
Are you using the microwave excessively?
Do you drink a lot of sugary, carbonated beverages?
Are you "going to the bathroom" regularly?
Have you been under a lot of stress lately?
Are you getting between 7 and 9 hours of sleep every night? (What is keeping you up? Something fairly obvious?)
Have you been challenging your mind regularly?
A lot of times you can make small changes to make your body work properly again. Chances are, you're just lacking some nutrients or are a bit dehydrated. Take care of yourself. If you don't feel like exercising make yourself do it anyway--afterwards you tend to feel better anyway.
As humans, we go through spells of depression when we haven't treated our bodies right. Make changes in your daily life and you'll feel better. Sometimes all your body is trying to say is, "HEY! I am tired of french fries, ketchup, and chicken nuggets. Could I get some fruits and vegetables, pleeeease?!"
Check the basics before pushing anything more with your doctors. Make some lifestyle changes and stick with them. If you continue to feel not-yourself after becoming a healthier you then see a doctor and tell them that this is a condition that you would like them to take seriously. Sometimes they don't look too deep if you're young and cannot pinpoint what is "wrong" in the first place.
I hope things look up for you and you find yourself in better health soon :)
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Hi, 15, female, like it matters. I'm doing a giant 180 point project on Nikita Khrushchev. He was a Soviet Politician during the Cold War, he worked with Stalin and was also the first secretary of chief executive officer of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. Now, to top of my project, I need a slogan,it has to be catchy, I prefer it to rhyme but I understand his name is impossible to pair a rhyming word with. I just need help. Anything you can think of, let me know. Thanks!! (link)
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Nikita The Beat-uh.
Sorry. I lol'ed when it popped into my head.
Rhyming makes it very difficult, really.
Otherwise you can just put things together in a cutesy way like:
The First Cold Secretary.
The Cold, Communist Secretary.
The Cold Soviet Leader.
The Purging...something...I don't know...read he was in support of Stalin's purges and even continued them while governing the Ukraine. "The Purging Patriot" would be cool but that doesn't really suit it, does it? lol
Man, this IS hard! I looked him up on Wikipedia and I'm not coming up with anything. I will update more if I can think of some more but I wanted to go on and answer so you do get a few ideas right off and maybe can finish this project :)
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My friend and i are going camping for a month on the pacific crest trail. i am already going to bring some "meals ready to eat"(MRE)and i am sending my self some MREs(enough to keep me going) but i really want to try and catch and cook my food.... i was wandering if anybody knows a book or a website(i already have been googling it amd trying other ways of research) that has a list of edible plants and how to cook any fish i catch? (link)
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Here The Complete Outdoorsmans Handbook: A Guide to Outdoor Living and Wilderness Survival:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/3175504/The-Complete-Outdoorsmans-Handbook-A-Guide-To-Outdoor-Living-And-Wilderness-Survival
On page 83 they go into great detail how to prepare wild caught fish. Page 99 is "cooking and preserving meat" which may be helfpul, too.
Page 95 begins discussing edible plants in the wilderness.
Survive Outdoors has photos to go along with their listing of edible plants:
http://www.surviveoutdoors.com/reference/edible_plants/index.asp
It also includes a few tidbits that are good to know---like Sassafras says it's not safe to eat but the bark can be boiled for a tea.
I think the name of this site (EatTheWeeds) says all:
http://www.eattheweeds.com/www.EatTheWeeds.Com/EatTheWeeds.com/EatTheWeeds.com.html
Some more edible plants with drawings and decent descriptions:
http://www.theoutdoorlodge.com/survival/edible_and_medicinal_plants.html
Basic tips on outdoor survival (some info. on the fish and edible plants):
http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Outdoor_Survival/Food
How to tell when the fish has gone bad:
http://www.wilderness-survival.net/food-5.php
I did Google searches for things like "Wilderness survival cooking fish" "outdoor survival edible plants" "outdoor survival cooking fish" and LOTS of information came up. I'm not sure what you might be interested in so maybe you can take an hour or so and go through some of that information as well.
I hope everything goes well! :)
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is planned parenthood free if I wanted to get tested for an STD? Do I just walk in? Or do I need to pay? (link)
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A lot of Planned Parenthoods are different when it comes to pricing. Some will charge a small fee. Some will test you for free your first time. Some will always STD test you for free at your request.
Call your local Planned Parenthood and ask them how much a full STD screening would cost:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/where-we-work/health-center-directory-23127.htm
When you call you should get a SPECIFIC list of things they test for during the "normal" STD test. Ask them if you can "add" things to the list that you specify. A lot of times they don't usually test for things like herpes unless you specifically request it.
Then, if they sound reasonable, call back when a complete list of things you want to be tested for. Talk with the receptionist about setting up an appointment and go from there with your specifics. Most Planned Parenthoods require an appointment for things like this, especially if you're a new patient.
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Mkay :) So I just got my hair highlighted to the extreme, it used to be a dark reddish color, then they took 3 hours to lift it into a blond. I did highlights all over the top part of my head, left the bottom dark. So since it was red before hand, it took a long time to tone it down to this blond color i have now. But my question is- when the lady used a toner on my hair it made the brassyness go away, which i REALLY like (if there's one thing i HATE, it's when my hair gets that brassy color. That even happend when it was dark, because of course the red lightened up over time.) Any who, So I'm wondering- If i wash my hair and such normally, will the toner she used after she bleached- fade out? Or, will it dissappear? I just don't want my new highlights to become all orangey and discolored =/. Also, could I use a shampoo to make sure the color stays- this color? haha,any help on this subject would be awesome. Thanks! (link)
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Toners don't usually wash out unless, for some strange reason, she applied a temporary, semi-permanent or demi-permanent solution. The fact that it was applied to bleached hair means it may have penetrated more deeply into the hair shaft anyway. If she applied something non-permanent then she probably would have told you so that you knew to come back for "touch-ups" in a few weeks.
Use shampoos AND conditioners that are specifically for color-treated hair. The products at the salon really are worth the price, most of the time, so take some recommendations from your hairdresser.
If you're trying to go cheap then look for products that meantion color-treated hair. It helps lock in moisture and keeps the hair from being so damaged from the coloring process. Shampoo actually strips away the oil from the hair and without that oil a color-treated hair shaft will dull and break so make sure you pick up appropriate items to help keep the hair shaft moisturized and protected properly. Always use conditioner for color-treated hair, too, to help add that moisture back to the hair.
The sun's rays can also damage color treated hair so try not to stand in the sun for hours on end. A lot of girls like to tan and, if you're one of them, then you're going to have to deal with some colorloss from your hair through the tanning process.
Pool water also contains bleaches and chemicals that is harmful to hair, especially color-treated hair, so try to stay out of the pool, too. Pool water can really hurt hair shafts so if you DO go swimming then rinse and wash off immediately water so that your hair doesn't have to absorb as much as those chemicals and dry out.
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ok im called jacky () im 13 and i need help!
i want to go boarding school i mean theres a school called giggleswick in uk , only a hour away from my home town , but i live in cyprus , with my mum and the step-farther, my mum said yea talk to yur step-dad , and so i told my step-dad but he said noway ! i dont get they say i could go back to england if i went to a private/ boarding school , and wen i search for it he says no! i mean he went to america for high school on scohlorship but because he dosent want a bad rep he says no! can any one help me find a way to get him to say yea? i mean i love my friends in cyp n bestmate hannah , but me n hannah both wanna go giggleswick they(parents) say ok! but becuse baldy here is a fat old grumpy git im not aloud :( i mean i want to go but in yr 10 so i thought id break them in on the idea, grrr ... plss sugest how to conivinse my step dad (link)
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Show them you're mature and they might actually give you enough responsibility to handle yourself away from home.
That's probably the real problem. They're probably just really afraid that they'll let you go over there and you won't do the right thing. That you'll get into trouble and they would have wasted their money.
Keep trying to talk to them a little but build up your responsibility with them. Show them that you're growing up and maturing. Show them that you're not a childish little kid any more and that you understand that this is a serious matter to you. Start doing more grown-up things for them to notice. Be more mature. Be responsible by being home on time and making the right decisions. When they see that you're serious about growing up and going off to this boarding school then they might feel safer using the money to send you off there.
It will take some time but if you're smart about it then you can earn their trust in no time.
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Ok i just heard this song today and it reminded me of another song. I can't think of what it is but I'm almost sure there's another song with almost exactly the same beat. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? (link)
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Actually there are rumors going around that they stole the beat of the song or whatever.
What you're thinking of is actually:
Young Money's song Bedrock
Here:
Listen to A.D.I.D.A.S. by Travis Porter:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHFngNOYBf8
& Then listen to Bed Rock by Young Money:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha80ZaecGkQ
Travis Porter just "mixed" it, I guess. They say it's legal though...that he bought the music or whatever to do that with.
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I really want a volleyball tattoo, but I cant seem to find one anywhere, like a design. (F) by the way :). I want it to be small. can anyone help? (link)
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You can always print out some photos and bring the art to your tattooist to ask for their opinion. They may also be able to draw something out of ideas you show them. Colors can be altered and personalized, too. They can always scale things up or down so finding the 'right' image is what you should focus on.
Here are some volleyball tattoos that I have found that others have used and various volleyball images:
http://www.q-sport.com/vohet.html
http://www.q-sport.com/voteta.html
http://volleyballzen.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/volleyball_tattoo.jpg
http://www.californiasurfstickers.com/catalog/volleyball%20tribal%20sticker%207x25.jpg
http://www.ericflash.com/tattoos-volleyball/ (scroll down to the 5 images near the bottom of page)
http://tatsandtags.com/mascots/thumbnails/Flaming-volleball.jpg
http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/volleyball.jpg
http://www.clubbearvb.org/images/volleyball_silhouette.jpg
http://www.hfgsglendale.org/images/graphics/volleyball.jpg
http://pic.51windows.net/2008/_Img018_/Volleyball.jpg
http://artfiles.art.com/5/p/LRG/26/2677/DFAUD00Z/bob-winsett-volleyball.jpg
http://www.ipswichvc.org.uk/sva/Images/j0404946.jpg
http://rlv.zcache.com/volleyball_girl_sticker-p217888745109560279qjcl_400.jpg
http://canadagames2009.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/volleyball-red.jpg
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/images/mud%20volleyball%202002%20sungod.jpg
http://creativezazz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/volleyheartsmall-300x300.jpg
http://www.virtuousplanet.com/shops/userimages/00005/00000000107/section/00000000000000014948.png
http://www.volleyballoneheart.com/images/OneHeart_logo%20transparent.100x100ani.png
http://images7.cafepress.com/product/155607407v1_225x225_Front.jpg
http://www.virtuousplanet.com/shops/userimages/00005/00000000107/section/00000000000000064882.png
http://www.mountsterlingcc.org/images/volleyball_starBurst.gif
http://volleyball.epicsports.com/images/11078/90/tandem-sport-volleyball-heart-t-shirt---gifts.jpg
http://images3.cafepress.com/product/190662213v5_225x225_Front.jpg
http://www.northcoastvolleyball.com/v/vspfiles/photos/NCV-60035-1.jpg
Show your artist some things you kinda like and see what they have in mind. The really good, creative, and talented ones can help more than you'd think!
I hope you find exactly what you're looking for.
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okay, so a little background, i bought a cheap acoustic from a catalogue, and i self taught myself. it's been good, but it's really cheap, and the E and A string are sharp (is that right?) when i play in the 10th and 13th fret. point it, i've been given an oppurtunity to get a new guitar, being paid for by my parents (incredible!). i live in the UK, and it can be a MAXIMUM of £250. i want a really good one, but i'm not sure about how to judge it. plus, maybe i'm just weird, but it's so awkward going in and buying stuff form the music store. i end up just picking whatever they suggest, and i don't know if it's good or not. so if you could tell me about what i need in an elector acoustic guitar, what is best, what produces the best sound, what sound i should look for, what brands are good, etc. also some general properties on an elector acoustic, and anything else i need to buy for it. maintenence.. etc.
basically any advice.
i'm probably gonna buy my guitar from this place, so if you'd be nice enough to check it out and give me advice, i'd love you forever! if not, then jsut tell me your views. i realise that the ideal guitar varies for different people, but i write music, and whilst piano and my crappy acoustic sounds fine, i wanna start doing it a littl emore seriously.
one last thing, i know having a strap doens't matter mostly, but most aren't sold with one. is it easy to get it put on, cause some times i need to perform, and it's annoying using a bar stool.
thanks!!! (link)
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Going into a music store, with no intention to immediately purchase, is a great way to ask for some basic information on guitars. Guitars are becoming very popular and the managers of such shops are full of this basic information. They can help you figure out what type you're interested in and may even let you try a few of them out.
Once you've figured that out then pick up some reliable guitar magazines like Musician's Friend: http://www.musiciansfriend.com/
They, typically, have better deals on guitars and music equipment than shops do.
I have little personal experience with guitars so I can't offer much suggestion. Not many REAL musicians are on Advicenators at the moment so it might be hard for anyone to point you in the right place here. I highly suggest speaking to someone from the shop before even considering a purchase.
There are also communities and forums for people who are interested in playing the guitar. They can probaby set you in the right direction as well, but be prepared for their own personal opinions on what THEY like:
http://www.guitartrade.org/
http://www.acousticguitarforum.com/forums/index.php
http://www.guitarworld.com/forums/index.php
http://www.guitarforbeginners.com/forum/
Also, many name-brand guitars run pretty expensive so try to be mindful of that. A good fender, gibson, alvarez, washburn, epiphone, or peavey might be costly new. Sometimes it's OK to skip a namebrand and stick with something that "just works well" for what you're doing, since you aren't playing concerts just yet ;)
Hope you find exactly what you're looking for! :)
P.S. Oh, yes, straps are very simply to put onto the guitar. The strap may even come with a small instruction photo. If you have problems then there are MANY sites, including YouTube, that have instruction videos, audio, or typed information to help:
http://www.ehow.com/video_4755847_put-guitar-strap.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2j4Ul2OuaM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9F_QQaoBus
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how can i a 15 year old work at one of these jobs in 60609 in chicago,ill back of the yards
(link)
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Many places cannot hire people younger than 16 for multiple legal reasons. Because of this, it can be extremely difficult to find a "typical" or "every-day" job like your mom and/or dad has. If you are about to turn 16 in a month or less than you may still be able to apply to small grocery stores in your area as a cashier or stockperson. In that case, you should ask to speak with the manager before filing out an application to ensure he won't look at the age and say, "Oh, no, I can't hire this person because they are too young."
Next, open up your ideas for a few months until you do turn 16.
Many 15 year olds can babysit children if they show they have enough maturity and responsibility. You can do this by asking your mother or father to let their friends with children know that you're looking to do a little part-time babysitting. Keep your weekends free to babysit though--that's when most parents want to get out of the house for a few hours so you need to available.
Ask your neighbors if they'd give you a little cash for some yardwork. Mow lawns, rack leaves, plant gardens. Offer your available services to your surrounding community and neighborhood. Again, have your parents inform their friends of your desire to work.
Jobs are really hard to come by with this economy as it is. It can even be hard to get a job at McDonald's because of the amount of well-qualified adults seeking the same positions. Sometimes you have to do something you don't REALLY want to do long-term so that you can use it as a stepping stone in the future. Focus on the surrounding needs of your community and then take action.
Post colorful flyers every 2 weeks reminding people of your services you offer. Include your phone number, email address, name, and age. Be specific on what you are willing to do--example: "Willing to babysit children ages 5 - 10 for up to 6 hours between the hours of 12pm and 9pm. Fees are negotiable."
Be flexible with your rates right now until you build up some good reputation for doing excellent work. You can always inform someone, "I am going to have to up my prices next week and I wanted to let you know. It's going to be an extra $3 this time because I have some things I need to get for school and I'm trying to buy them myself," than it is to say, "I want $20 to sit with your kid for 3 hours."
Suggestions:
Will prepare bakery items for your party needs.
Will decorate your party room.
Will do personal grocery shopping for you.
Will babysit infants and/or children.
Will do yardwork (listed above).
Will create flyers.
Will clean houses.
Will pet-sit.
Will wash, walk, and care for pets.
Will paint--interior and/or exterior.
Will do small manual labor or chores around house: Call if interested.
Stick with it, whatever you figure out you can do, and people will ask you for your services in time. You'll find something but don't expect to get paid a lot of cash--the economy isn't doing well and you don't have any background information to make you look like a great candidate yet.
I wish you well on your job hunt!
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I'm sorry i was mistaken it was only but the first part of your answer i didn't really agree with,
yes the first time i made that mistake,
but the next boy i did truly love and i did it just because i loved him.
Maybe it was the heartbreak that led me to do what i did. Because the next boy really wanted to be with me he wanted a real relationship with me and i said no. Yes we fooled around but it was because i wanted to. I guess i just wanted physical affection but i did not want a relationship. We messed around once and he wanted to fool around again and i said no. I do have the ability to say no.
The boy after him also wanted a real relationship with me but i refused. He wanted me to be his girlfriend and he wanted to tell everyone, but again i refused. I just wanted him for the companionship and the sex i did not want to be with him, we did fool around and ended up having sex but when i put myself in another situation where he wanted sex i refused, i said no. all in all i did not want a relationship once again.
Boy number 5 he was a long term boyfriend who i thought i loved but im still not sure what my feelings for him are but he loves me im sure he does, he bought me a diamond ring and loves me even through all my faults hes always there for me, its sad that idk if i love him =(
Boy number 6 was a boy who had the biggest penis i had ever seen, i wanted to try it. I wasnt looking for a relationship or love. I just wanted sex. We did it along with other things and i didnt like it that much. so the next time he asked if we could, i said no.
I have an idea as to why i do these things but im still not completely sure. Your advice did help me realize a lot so thank you very much for your time... should i get therapy? I dont really like therapists though, i think they dont really care and they just want their money.
(link)
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There is no need to look for excuses as to why you did what you did.
Therapy can help a load of mental problems that you don't even know you have, obviously. It's worth checking into some thorough counselling.
I told you exactly why you do these things. It's up to you to actually take my advice or not. I know it can be hard to understand that you ARE those things I said. You have become something you simply should not be. Don't make excuses for yourself. Deep down inside you know what I said is right.
Not all therapists only care about your money. I have a degree in psychology myself. Does it look like I'm asking you for your money? ;)
Call a few mental health clinics around and see when they can fit you into their routine. You need to see somebody to work these problems out because you are fighting the truth.
You have the ability to say no but you don't understand what "no" means. You refuse a relationship but accept to a sexual friendship because you have deep mental problems after your first mistake was made. The damage was already done and you hadn't learned from it yet. You purposely set yourself up for failure since then. You're young. You won't even understand these things until you're mid-30's if you're like most teens and 20-somethings.
It's like...
A cutter.
The cuts really hurt.
They do.
But they keep doing it because they're in that routine. They don't know what else to do.
Do they "choose" to cut?
They might say they do.
But the problems are deep inside their minds. They aren't CHOOSING to hurt themselves, even if they think they are. They're mentally ill. They have problems they need to work out so that they can get out of the same damaging routine or they will just continue the behavior.
You are a slut.
The actions really do hurt you inside and out.
They do.
But you keep doing it because you're in that routine. You don't know what else to do, really. You think sex is the answer.
Do you "choose" to be a slut?
You might even say you do.
But the problems are deep inside of you. You think you are CHOOSING to do these stupid things but, really, you're just broken. You're damaged. You need to get help to work through these issues so that you don't keep repeating the same mistakes over and over because of this "rut" or vicious cycle.
If you care about yourself, you'll take the steps that are needed to get well.
No need to make any more excuses as to "why" you did what you did. If they were valid reasons then why did you continue to hurt yourself by doing the same things over and over? Once you realized it HURT then why did you keep prodding the wound? Why did you keep thinking the next outcome would be different? Why did you think the words, "I love you," changed everything? Why did you think having a giant cock would mean you wouldn't be mentally and emotionally damaged? Some of your reasons are absolutely ridiculous, especially if you reread what you wrote.
"My first boyfriend said he loved me...I believed him..."
"So the second boy I skipped looking for the love. Because who needs love anyway? I just gave myself to him to get it over with."
"Boy number 5 said he loved me. I believed him!"
"Boy number 6 had a giant cock. That's different so it just can't mess my brain up any more than it already is!"
Wake up already.
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Okay I'm 18 and i enjoy giving oral sex. I've given it to 5 men but on very separate occasions. The first was a boy i liked and i thought if i did it ad was good he'd like me more, i know now how wrong i was. the second was a long term boyfriend who ended up cheating on me with some girl (he got head in the hallway of our school) he was my first love and i stil love him the third was a boy i liked and ended up having sex with, no strings attached, the fourth was another boy who i like but i just wanted to practice giving head because i like to be the best so i thought i should practice but we ended up having sex =/ fifth was a boyfriend who i did it to frequently sixth was some guy who i just wanted to have sex with because he had a huge penis and i wanted to try a big one, ended up giving him head twice and having sex once. the sex wasnt good =( am i a whore, a dirty slut? (link)
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There was not even a glimmer of a "double-standard" in relation to men/women wanting sex and/or love. If you think the "animal-instinct" remark is that double-standard then you really need to grow up and do a little research about human beings and how both genders react differently to sexual stimuli. Females, typically, want to pair-up for long-term mating once they find a mate with desired genetics. Men want to reproduce so that their genetic line continues throughout history. This is how they explain why "men cheat" and "women are emotional." Neither is true always...but, as a species, it does appear to explain many common problems in relationships between men and women.
It's the nature of humans.
Obviously you aren't concerned with being a "slut" or a "whore" or you would understand that both of my answers are very valid. I'm really, really sorry that you have this mentality and accept it.
Please reread my answer when you're more intelligent and actually care about your own well-being.
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Oral sex = Sex.
You've had sex with, apparently, 6 men.
Out of those 6 you only had real feelings for one.
You think that you can "buy" love by giving sex to men.
You didn't "learn your lesson" the first time and kept repeating the same behavior. What do I mean? Well, you wanted a guy to like you so you had sex with him. His feelings didn't change for you so you eventually moved on from him to find somebody else. This "new" guy you want to have feelings for you so you have sex with him. His feelings don't change so you, eventually, move on and find a different guy. Repeat.
What do you think is going to really happen? Do you think you're going to give oh-so-amazing oral sex and they're going to madly fall in love with you? That doesn't happen, Dear. They want sex. It's an "animal instinct" and, for men, there isn't any emotional attachments to it, typically. Seriously. You're only hurting yourself. You're setting yourself up for failure over and over again. If YOU don't break the cycle NOW then you will end up with STD's (yes, you can get a load of nasties from having oral sex). You WILL end up alone for the rest of your life--being used by men over and over, living with this heartache again and again.
A whore is someone who works as a prostitute. Prositutes trade sex for something they want (which, usually, happens to be money). You are trading sex for something you want (love).
A slut is someone is sexually promiscuous. This means they engage in sexual behavior with many people.
By both standards...yes, you are being a whore. You are being a slut.
If you don't stop and control yourself then you're going to be a very, very unhappy adult. Men can hone in on a broken woman and will use her. You are one of those women they will use if you don't grow some morals and say, "Look. I am NOT having sex with you just so you feel good. I will have sex with someone who I can TRUST. Who already LOVES me. Who I don't have to prove ANYTHING to. Who doesn't WANT from me. Someone who will stand by me through thick and thin. Someone who would be with me even if I was really, really bad at oral sex. Someone who wants my brain and not my body. Someone who already cares about ME."
You didn't just randomly get the idea that sex = love from anywhere though. The media ALL AROUND you is telling you to have sex. Music lyrics keep saying sex, sex, sex and party, party, party. They also tell you to keep doing the behavior again and again, even if you realize it's hurting you.
Television does the same thing. Trojan man! Those trojan condom commercials are fun. But did you know that condoms aren't 100% effective? Did you know that they're not even 90% effective on preventing pregnancy? And did you know they don't even prevent STD transmission? Not so fun anymore, huh?
Shows like Friends make sex fun, risky, and, well, entertaining. Sure, sleep with your best friend. Sure, use them a little. Sure, trade sexual favors for something you just don't want to do. Sure, have sex-buddies. It's a TV show though. It's not real. These behaviors actually damage your mentality. They can damage you for LIFE. You enter into an endless cycle if you don't open your eyes. You're already starting that cycle.
Chances are, you won't choose to stop listening to the music or watching TV. If you do, then get rid of the TV set altogether. Pick up some classic books. Heck, even getting a NetFlix subscription and choosing your viewing wisely helps to cut down on these horrible messages you are receiving. Some people will do whatever it takes. Some will just "try" to stop listening and realize that the media is NOT truth or real life. Others will completely ignore this advice.
Break the cycle and have some better standards to protect your body and mind.
Say, "No," to the guys who want sex and to yourself when you want to do something like that. Even when you think the guy loves you then you should still say, "No." Nothing proves love like saying, "No, I won't have sex with you. That's it. I don't have to explain myself or tell you 'when' we might. No is my final answer." and seeing your partner still love you and care about you. That is love that will last forever.
So, yes, you are a whore and slut but you don't have to keep being those things. You can change if you want to. You're not "stuck" with those terms. You can change yourself. You can still change your outcome if you start now.
It's OK to enjoy oral sex but it doesn't mean you should offer it to anyone. It means you should practice with toys when you're alone if you really, really want to. It means you need to not tell people about your talents. It means you need to surprise your long-term partner one evening--when he wasn't expecting it, when you two might be married or that you're SO sure that this is THE man, no doubts. Use YOUR head.
Change now and stop the cycle.
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Can you smoke weed and still be a good singer? Someone told me that it makes your lungs stronger- because it makes you build up something or whatever- dont know how true that is.please don't lecture me about not smoking weed, thanks. (link)
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Smoke inhalation is never good for your lungs. Smoking anything damages the lungs. Inhaling any type of smoke will cause damage.
"Smoking is particularly harmful for teens because their bodies are still growing and changing. Smoking reduces the rate of lung growth and lessens the amount of lung function that a young person should have. The poisons found in cigarette and marijuana smoke affect normal development and can cause life-threatening diseases, such as chronic bronchitis, heart disease, and stroke. Smoking is the most common cause of lung cancer and is also a leading cause of cancer of the mouth, throat, bladder, pancreas, and kidney.
Some teens might argue that marijuana isn't as bad for them as tobacco. They're wrong. Marijuana smoke contains some of the same cancer-causing compounds as tobacco, sometimes in higher concentrations. In fact, one joint can contain as many cancer-causing chemicals as four cigarettes. What many teens may not know is that the strength of marijuana may be as high as 25 times that of earlier decades."
From: http://family.samhsa.gov/talk/cigarette.aspx
I Googled for some more information and found that a lot of long-term pot users developed sore lungs. A lot of them had pain in the lungs after smoking. Some of them even developed emphysema directly related to their marijuana usage.
Smoking pot = smoke inhalation.
Smoke inhalation = damaged lungs.
Damaged lungs = poor lung capacity.
Poor lung capacity = poor singing skills.
I also read that smoking marijuana can actually cause the vocal cords to swell, thus leading to small tears in them. Your range will be affected, to say the least. A professional singer says that the voice begins to get raspy and, as time goes on, will worsen. She said "heat, dry air, and smoke inhalation," were the key problems with this.
Your answer? No. Smoking pot will not improve your vocal range or lung capacity to make you a "better singer" now or in the future.
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So About two or three weeks ago me and my boyfriend were fooling atound in my room. Well he was rubbing his dick around my vagina. But thats all he did. But he had precum on his dock and he said he got it all off. Then he did that again. But its april 26 and im supposed to get my period tomorrow april 27. And im nervous. But my period is irregular. So what are the chances that i could be pregnant? Thannks in advanced (link)
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Pre-ejaculate still contains some sperm, even though it's a lot less than a complete ejaculation. A full ejaculation contains as many as 100 million sperm at a time, and sperm within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million.
It only takes ONE to get you pregnant. Personally, that doesn't sound "very unlikely" to me, but you'll find out for yourself soon enough.
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i am a 19 year old virgin 4rm south africa,i'm a christian.my mom an sis think havin a b.f is wrong an i think not,so i have a b.f who's 24 an we'v been datin 4 2mnths nw,i love him an he loves me,he even told me in 5yrs tym he wants 2 marry me.so my question is,wat do u think? (link)
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Cultures are very different.
If the South African culture that you live in says that dating is wrong before marriage then you should still think this through. I know nothing of the South African culture, really, though.
Most of the users on this site are Americans and are use to dating freely (with different people) for many, many years before they even choose a partner to marry. Many do not realize that other cultures are dramatically different in this respect. Please think of your own culture for a moment and the morals that come along with your belief system before making a choice. In many societies this could mean being shunned from the entire family. In a few countries doing something like this could almost mean death (though this does not sound like the case, here).
I am not saying it is right.
I am not saying it is wrong.
I am saying that only YOU know what is most appropriate. If you think this is a good idea then more power to you, but if it means having to give up your entire family, friends, and being shunned then give it a second thought before making a decision. If you are in love then you both can wait if you need to.
Also, "dating" is different in many societies so take into consideration what you think "dating" means. If dating includes having sex then I would say you should wait for awhile until marriage. If dating means you two can hold hands and kiss in public then consider where you live and how your community will react, too. If dating means you two just have titles and a commitment but nothing physical then that sounds OK and respectful for a young Christian woman in most cultures.
If in doubt of everything, ask your boyfriend's parents and your church leaders. Many times parents and elders can help you make wise decisions that will not hurt you in the long-run. They can help to offer you a good position in between "dating" and "friends" if your society frowns upon coupling before marriage. Think is through. Only you will know the answer in the end.
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That a person can determine that another person isn't a virgin by there hips?
(link)
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No. The shape of your hips have nothing to do with virginity, for the most part. They will widen as you age into maturity and with pregnancy. I suppose being pregnant would be a lack of virginity though, but the widening wouldn't be enough to say, "WOW! Your hips sure got huge all of a sudden!"
Everyone has different genetics so everybody will have different body shapes and structures. Some people naturally have wide hips. Other people have, naturally, a smaller body frame.
There are lots of rumors like this going around high schools. I remember people thinking you could tell if a girl was a virgin by the way she walked. Not really. Everyone has their own strut, y'know?
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If you went to the doctor for a pap smear, they would be able to tell if you're pregnant, right? What other things show up on the pap smear results besides if you have any kind of cancer down there? (link)
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A pap smear is only used to test for cancerous cells on the cervix. When the test comes back with abnormalities it may mean cancerous cells, bacterial infections, or even yeast infections. It does not actually test for these things though and you would need further testing to find out why exactly the test came back with abnormal cells.
So, a pap smear will show cancerous cells, bacterial infections, yeast infections, and sometimes pregnancy (in the later stages; only because of the positioning of the cervix). Pap smears DO NOT show STDs. Having a pap does not test you for STDs at all. It also does not "test" for pregnancy--you must have a blood or urine test done for that, especially in the early stages.
The only time a pap smear may show STDs is if there are visible sores to the naked eye or if you have contracted a strain of HPV. HPV will mutate cells and the test will come back abnormal. Since HPV is a form of an STD then I suppose you could say it's a test for that particular STD but it isn't going to show up if, say, you have AIDs.
Pap smears will show pregnancy in the later stages when the cervix has went through some changes in positioning, mostly. This is done simply a visual exam though so I would hardly call it a pap smear testing for pregnancy since no cells would need to be scraped for such a "test." So, no, a pap smear does not test for pregnancy but it may show later pregnancy signs.
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my friend sent me a link to a bunch of these grotesque pictures. people stretching their prostates, animals chopped and martyred, people tortured and abused, "two girls one cup" type shit, etc. and my question is this:
what in the world were these people thinking when doing these things? let alone, taking pictures of it and posting it online. i hate to think that this world is turning into something sick like this, but it is, and if anyone can tell me WHY that'd be awesome. i guess i just wanna understand so i don't have to judge anyone. i'm not gonna post the link on here since i know i'll get booted for it. -.-'' (link)
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I, personally, don't believe people were always like this--internet or no internet. It's gotten incredibly worse over the years.
Circus freaks weren't disgusting, really. They were people born with abnormalities, tattooed-up people, bearded ladies--not people pooping into cups and eating it. Even then, the freaks were seen a sick--a shock but NOT funny. Nobody was laughing. Seriously. Everyone stood in amazement and tried to figure out...why do they look or act like that? Wow, y'know?
It was never funny until now, I think. Nobody ever thought eating feces was hilarious until fairly recently. Nobody ever went paid money at a show to watch such horrific things. Nobody ever gathered in the streets and did this for fun.
People never gathered in the streets to watch animals be murdered for laughs either. Sure, there were public animal killings, just as there were public executions. A lot of that had to do with rituals and ceremonies though. Some of that also had to do with teaching children to behave and people learning that when you make a fool of yourself you will be punished. There were actually reasons behind stuff like that--even if the reasons did seem odd to other cultures. People didn't just gather around and laugh at it.
[And some people still slow down near car accidents to actually see if somebody is still around and might need help. I don't look to see the blood or gore--I want to see if somebody needs help. There's nothing subconscious about my personal actions when it comes to such situations. That being said, not everyone is seeking out graphic gore or something like that.]
So, what's wrong with people now?
It's just how things have progressed. It's the JackAss era. If you rent a movie called Idiocracy you'll see where we are headed. It's scary.
Some media folk thought it would be interesting to desensitize us to graphic things like that so they made it practically main-stream (who hasn't seen 2girls1cup, right?) We're told day in and day out that these disturbing things are actually amusing. Since we're human we want to be liked so we go along with that--thinking that if we step out and say, "EWH!" that people will shun us from society.
So, that happens and then the people pass it onto their friends so they don't feel as stupid for being disturbed at first. Their friends give the same shocked reaction and then the first person feels a little better and a little more accepted for his/her inital reaction.
You probably won't understand unless you began to mute your senses. Teens are really into this stuff right now and they probably won't grow out of it at some point in time so there will be adults who find this sort of "amusement" actually entertaining. Again, check out Idiocracy from your local movie rental place. It's worth it.
Remember that there was a time where Leave it to Beaver was real entertainment. Little House on the Prarie was a big hit. Nobody cursed, especially in front of ladies. Women wore dresses and fancied up every single day but didn't actually have a paying job. I just wanted to point out that this sort of thing was not "always around" so please keep that in mind.
We probably won't ever go back to the sane way of living. People like extremes now. They like that adrenaline they get from the shock of seeing something they never expected to see. People like skydiving and risking their lives "partying hard!" It's really just stupidity. Really. I suppose in a way we're becoming addicted to our own adrenaline--wanting to see shocking things to get that little rush that the media keeps telling us is so worth it.
Good job on not posting the link. Everyone gets the idea of what you're talking about what you described. And good job for not falling into this trap of idiocracy.
And, no, I'm not picking on the other advice at all. I am only stating my own observations, opinions, and knowledge. That's all :)
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