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Oral sex.
Okay I'm 18 and i enjoy giving oral sex. I've given it to 5 men but on very separate occasions. The first was a boy i liked and i thought if i did it ad was good he'd like me more, i know now how wrong i was. the second was a long term boyfriend who ended up cheating on me with some girl (he got head in the hallway of our school) he was my first love and i stil love him the third was a boy i liked and ended up having sex with, no strings attached, the fourth was another boy who i like but i just wanted to practice giving head because i like to be the best so i thought i should practice but we ended up having sex =/ fifth was a boyfriend who i did it to frequently sixth was some guy who i just wanted to have sex with because he had a huge penis and i wanted to try a big one, ended up giving him head twice and having sex once. the sex wasnt good =( am i a whore, a dirty slut?
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There was not even a glimmer of a "double-standard" in relation to men/women wanting sex and/or love. If you think the "animal-instinct" remark is that double-standard then you really need to grow up and do a little research about human beings and how both genders react differently to sexual stimuli. Females, typically, want to pair-up for long-term mating once they find a mate with desired genetics. Men want to reproduce so that their genetic line continues throughout history. This is how they explain why "men cheat" and "women are emotional." Neither is true always...but, as a species, it does appear to explain many common problems in relationships between men and women.
It's the nature of humans.
Obviously you aren't concerned with being a "slut" or a "whore" or you would understand that both of my answers are very valid. I'm really, really sorry that you have this mentality and accept it.
Please reread my answer when you're more intelligent and actually care about your own well-being.
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Oral sex = Sex.
You've had sex with, apparently, 6 men.
Out of those 6 you only had real feelings for one.
You think that you can "buy" love by giving sex to men.
You didn't "learn your lesson" the first time and kept repeating the same behavior. What do I mean? Well, you wanted a guy to like you so you had sex with him. His feelings didn't change for you so you eventually moved on from him to find somebody else. This "new" guy you want to have feelings for you so you have sex with him. His feelings don't change so you, eventually, move on and find a different guy. Repeat.
What do you think is going to really happen? Do you think you're going to give oh-so-amazing oral sex and they're going to madly fall in love with you? That doesn't happen, Dear. They want sex. It's an "animal instinct" and, for men, there isn't any emotional attachments to it, typically. Seriously. You're only hurting yourself. You're setting yourself up for failure over and over again. If YOU don't break the cycle NOW then you will end up with STD's (yes, you can get a load of nasties from having oral sex). You WILL end up alone for the rest of your life--being used by men over and over, living with this heartache again and again.
A whore is someone who works as a prostitute. Prositutes trade sex for something they want (which, usually, happens to be money). You are trading sex for something you want (love).
A slut is someone is sexually promiscuous. This means they engage in sexual behavior with many people.
By both standards...yes, you are being a whore. You are being a slut.
If you don't stop and control yourself then you're going to be a very, very unhappy adult. Men can hone in on a broken woman and will use her. You are one of those women they will use if you don't grow some morals and say, "Look. I am NOT having sex with you just so you feel good. I will have sex with someone who I can TRUST. Who already LOVES me. Who I don't have to prove ANYTHING to. Who doesn't WANT from me. Someone who will stand by me through thick and thin. Someone who would be with me even if I was really, really bad at oral sex. Someone who wants my brain and not my body. Someone who already cares about ME."
You didn't just randomly get the idea that sex = love from anywhere though. The media ALL AROUND you is telling you to have sex. Music lyrics keep saying sex, sex, sex and party, party, party. They also tell you to keep doing the behavior again and again, even if you realize it's hurting you.
Television does the same thing. Trojan man! Those trojan condom commercials are fun. But did you know that condoms aren't 100% effective? Did you know that they're not even 90% effective on preventing pregnancy? And did you know they don't even prevent STD transmission? Not so fun anymore, huh?
Shows like Friends make sex fun, risky, and, well, entertaining. Sure, sleep with your best friend. Sure, use them a little. Sure, trade sexual favors for something you just don't want to do. Sure, have sex-buddies. It's a TV show though. It's not real. These behaviors actually damage your mentality. They can damage you for LIFE. You enter into an endless cycle if you don't open your eyes. You're already starting that cycle.
Chances are, you won't choose to stop listening to the music or watching TV. If you do, then get rid of the TV set altogether. Pick up some classic books. Heck, even getting a NetFlix subscription and choosing your viewing wisely helps to cut down on these horrible messages you are receiving. Some people will do whatever it takes. Some will just "try" to stop listening and realize that the media is NOT truth or real life. Others will completely ignore this advice.
Break the cycle and have some better standards to protect your body and mind.
Say, "No," to the guys who want sex and to yourself when you want to do something like that. Even when you think the guy loves you then you should still say, "No." Nothing proves love like saying, "No, I won't have sex with you. That's it. I don't have to explain myself or tell you 'when' we might. No is my final answer." and seeing your partner still love you and care about you. That is love that will last forever.
So, yes, you are a whore and slut but you don't have to keep being those things. You can change if you want to. You're not "stuck" with those terms. You can change yourself. You can still change your outcome if you start now.
It's OK to enjoy oral sex but it doesn't mean you should offer it to anyone. It means you should practice with toys when you're alone if you really, really want to. It means you need to not tell people about your talents. It means you need to surprise your long-term partner one evening--when he wasn't expecting it, when you two might be married or that you're SO sure that this is THE man, no doubts. Use YOUR head.
Change now and stop the cycle.
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