A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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I am a fifteen-year-old student. Just a small-town girl. Living in a loooonely world~ XD Just kidding. I have an amazing boyfriend; we've been together for a solid ten months, and I know I love him with all my heart.
But I've started asking myself a lot of questions lately. It all started at a summer boarding program, in which I was a part of the Theater program. It was basically me locked in a room with fifteen other unique, creative people. This was the first point in which I really noticed a change.
We were playing Truth or Dare. After having so many stereotypical dares (kiss this guy, hump that pole :P :P), everyone just decided to start kissing everybody. I, not really awkwarded out, joined in, making sure to avoid the guys because I knew my boyfriend would be bothered about it.
When I got back to my room, started to think about it, and realized that I had actually enjoyed that night. Later on in the week, at the big dance, I even danced pretty intensly with one of the girls; there were sparks flying everywhere.
A few days later, back at home, I really started flashing back on my life. I finally understood for the first time that I had been pretty attracted to girls for a while, especially my best friend. Also, soon after the whole kissing incident, I found out that one of my idols that I had met a while ago had kissed a bunch of people I know. I had no idea that she swung that way; honestly, it made me suddenly want to get to know her even more.
Since then, it's been growing. I am really magnetized to certain girls, but still am so confused. I've always been a hard-working Catholic, but I find I'm unable to block these strong feelings I get every time certain people are near me.
So my main question is...am I bisexual? And if I am, how do I deal with it? (link)
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Acceptance.
The truth that everyone denies is almost no one is straight up gay or straight. Most people have some degree of latent attraction to the same and opposite sexes and it's just common for one to be far stronger than the other.
Some people are closer to the middle, and can go both ways fairly easily.
My wife is bisexual. It's not something she's acted on much, but it's definitely a part of who she is. We've talked about it at length and agree that she should be aware of and acknowledge all parts of herself.
Liking girls doesn't change the fact that she loves me, wants to be a mother someday, and is committed to our relationship. It just means that she's got some sexual desires that don't get indulged in much.
I will say, that having issues "blocking the feelings" is an artifact of teenage hood. All teenagers are horny and ridiculous, it's puberty and the resulting hormones that turn sexual desire into something that takes your attention from other things and turns into something of a personal issue. Won't go on forever.
If you're bisexual, you'll figure it out. Most bisexual people tend towards one sex or the other, sometimes because they're more drawn to one sex and sometimes because they're just used to and more comfy with that sex. You have a boyfriend. You love him. Being bisexual won't change that.
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I posted this question publicly, but I like you answers so I'm also asking you separately :).
So....I feel like my crush makes silly excuses to talk to me. He asks me questions that I almost know for a fact that he already knows the answers to. It makes me think "duh, he likes me," but sometimes the signs aren't that clear. He's nice to me, as he is to everyone, but I don't typically find him staring at me every second. He's smiles and/or waves when we see eachother or make eye contact. One thing I have noticed is that if I see him from far away, it feels like he will suddenly turn or act a bit startled. Haha. But on some days there is zero interaction between us and it leaves me feeling like he doesn't like me. I'm a grade and a year older than him which leads me to think that he thinks that I'm unattainable. Could this be the reason that he hasn't made serious efforts to become closer?
All this said, I'm a pretty doubtful of my ability to interpret his behavior because in the past I have admitted to guys that I like them only to find that the feelings were only one-sided :/. Hence why I will probably not tell him how I feel until I graduate. I know it's cowardly of me, but I don't want to go through the hassle of awkwardness again.
Any suggestion/advice/or point of view is appreciated.
Thanks :). (link)
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Those who don't brave awkwardness get nowhere.
If you do nothing, you'll never date him. If you try, maybe you will.
Flirt with him. Tell him he looks cute, smile at him more, make some physical contact. See if he returns it. Go for broke and tell him what's going on, because based on the ambiguous info here I couldn't tell you if he's interested.
All I can tell you is that a lack of action means you'll wonder. I'd rather know, personally, and move on. Or take a chance and end up dating someone I like.
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18/m
My gf and i have been together for two and a half years. In the beginning, things were going so great and we really loved eachother. But lately, i just dont even enjoy spending time with her. we argue about everything. I don't want to be with her anymore. On top of that, there's another girl that ive been talking to that i really like. I told her that we could be together once i leave my current girlfriend, and i really do want to be with her. The problem is, i cant bring myself to break up with my current girlfriend and hurt her. I know thats stupid, because ive been hurting the girl i really like all along by telling her that she and i can be together, and im having a hard time maning up and doing the right thing. Also, im leaving for college in a few days, and its 6 hours away. Any advice at all would be awesome. Thanks :) (link)
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Dude.
Every second you continue the relationship is going to be another second she regrets. You know "how long have you felt like this" is almost certainly coming. When the honest answer is weeks, maybe months...
If it's over, end it. You obviously still care about and respect her, it'll be better for both of you if you don't wait until you resent her to the point that it gets ugly because you stuck around longer than you should have.
Tell her that you just don't feel like you're really working well together, and that you're growing up into different people and you're not going to be able to fix that in a few days before you move across the state/out of state.
Tell her you know that it isn't working and won't on your side. Hell, tell her that you want to move away to college single and unattached so you can see where life leads you. A little honesty and a little less trying to spare her feelings will make it real for her a little faster, which at this point is kind of a good thing. You're not going to be around forever, stop pretending you are. It's dishonest and disrespectful, especially considering that you have feelings for someone else you want to explore.
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18F.
So saturday night ..well basically sunday morning at like 4 in the morning I lost my virginity. I've been on birth control for probably 3 years to regulate my period and whatnot..set my alarm every night at 9pm to take it and I do every night. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked if I wanted to do it. I was ready, so I said yes but asked if he had a condom and he did. It was completely dark, which worries me a bit if he put it on right. The condom stayed on the whole time, I just don't know if it broke or anything. He didn't say it did ..but I don't know if he would tell me it did because he wouldn't want to scare me. After we were done we talked for a bit and I was like you better not get me pregnant or i'll kill you, being serious but in a flirty manor. He said don't worry you're not i promise.
Now I think i'm just freaking myself out. I have this nervous feeling in my stomach and I know I'm doing it to myself because I keep thinking about it and I'm suppose to get my period next thursday and I'm trying to stay calm so I don't get so stressed my period will come late which will freak me out more.
What do you think the chances are I could be pregnant if for some odd reason the condom did break? Or what are the chances at all if i've been on birth control and we used a condom. (link)
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Act of God.
Peeps is pretty incorrect. Condoms are above 90% and when taken like clockwork as you described hormonal birth control is usually pretty much 100% effective. The variance is over a large group not by the individual. Many married couples have unprotected sex with just birth control for years and years and never experience a pregnancy they didn't plan for.
Condoms and birth control together, if the condom did not break it is not possible for you to be pregnant, the percentage is the chance they will break even with proper use, not some mysterious "it only works this percent of the time and you'd never know" number.
Birth control and spermicide is an alternate option some couples choose when there is serious commitment and monagamy. Spermicide and condoms are about even with proper use if babies are your only concern. My wife and I have been doing this for three years and have never even had a serious scare (thank god her period always arrives mostly on schedule).
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18/female.
I've never tried marijuana, i've obviously heard a lot about it from health class and that, but I'm very curious about it. pretty much everyone i know takes a hit once in a while, some more than others, but i'm never around when they do.
I guess i'm just wondering if it's really worth a try. I told myself I would never try it; that i want to be able to grow old and tell my grandkids that hey, it really is possible to be straightedge your whole life, and you CAN say no.
My sister says I would really like the feeling because I'm pretty chill to begin with.
Any opinions? (link)
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Lord. Three terrible answers.
For now, what you need to know about weed is that it is illegal and the justice system literally makes the bulk of it's money from drug convictions. The majority of incarcerated felons on drug offenses were caught with distribution amounts of marijuana, which is over two ounces in most states. If you touch anything labeled as a controlled substance cops are out looking to make money off of your decisions.
That may soon change. With the subject coming up for straight legalization in california we could see Marijuana re-classed from Schedule 1 Narcotic to the same as alcohol across the country when states see the increase in revenue it will provide.
In that case, it will likely be restricted by similar age limits to alcohol, which would put you as "too young" at the moment. But if and when it is legal, trying weed would be no more harmful than taking a drink on your 21st birthday.
Go to an alcoholics anonymous meeting sometime. It would be an interesting experience. There are people who destroy their lives with something, and drugs, alcohol, work, video games, relationships, family, people can inundate their lives with any one specific thing, lose all balance, and end up non-functional.
About 20% of the population who use some form of intoxicant can't handle it and are irresponsible. But most of the rest of the world discreetly takes part in whatever and goes about their lives. That's alot of people, there are an estimated 50 million marijuana smokers in the US, way more who consume alcohol.
My advice, wait till 21. Give drinking a try. Get a buzz with some friends and see if you like it, perhaps responsible drinking will be something you can and want to fit into your life. At that point, if you want to join those who engage in civil disobedience, you'll have some personal experience to make that judgment on.
But point blank weed is not the devil the people here make it out to be. Weed does not mess with your DNA. Weed does not kill braincells. For all practical intents and purposes weed is safer than alcohol, it's illegal because of a mixture of institutional racism and the desire of the lumber industry to kill the hemp industry. That is backed up by over sixty years of medical studies and US history.
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19/f
So I've been broken up with my boyfriend, we'll call him Ray, for awhile now, but we both still want to be together. We decided to "post-pone" our relationship until one of us had a way to see the other (we live a good 20 to 30 minutes apart).
I was hanging out with friends on friday night and met this guy, and we both were attracted to eachother. Then the next night (saturday night) we ended up hanging out with him again. This time he made it very clear he was into me. I told myself I'd probably end up making out with him, but that'd be it. For some reason, all I could think of was Ray. So I had no intent desire to do anything with this guy. We were drinking, so of course I kinda start flirting back right about now. We start kissing, and I could immediately tell he was aggressive. He tried to shove his hand towards my crotch and I pulled it away. Then he said "Let's go back in the hallway". And here's where I feel like it's my fault. I put myself in the situation that happens next, and I know I could've prevented it.
I honestly DID NOT want to, but I started giving him oral and I wanted it to be over. I guess he got so turned on by then that he pushed me down and started yanking my pants off. This may sound so timid, but I was scared to say no. He was being so aggressive that I just went with it because I'd rather not know what would've happpened if I said no and he didn't stop. He was too rough and it hurt. I actually cried, I don't think he ever noticed, but all I could think about was Ray and how much I wanted to push him off of me and leave. I've been having a debate with myself about whether or not I was in love with Ray or not, and at that very moment I realized I did. I only wanted him.
After the guy left I cried for about 2 hours after everyone went to sleep. I felt like a slut, whore, etc. I felt dirty, and nasty. Like no matter how much I cleaned myself I'd still feel gross.
I tried to tell Ray about it, and how I thought of him. He said "If what you're telling me is the total truth, then that's called rape dummy". But it's not, right? I never actually fought back; the guy probably didn't think anything of it.
And then on top of all that, look at how the guy I'm "in-love" with reacted to the whole thing. I sent him two more texts, and he just ignored me. I even told him when we broke up that since we're not really together that if he wanted to do something with another girl he could do it, but I didn't want to know about it. So is he mad that I was with another guy, even though I didn't want it? Should I not want to be with someone who said that to me after something like that? I mean, "technically" it wasn't rape, but I am somewhat emotionally scarred from it. Not wanting sex that you're recieving is the most indescribable, horrible feeling a person can have. I don't even want to know what it's like for people who actually DO fight back.
I guess what I'm asking is, do I have a right to be weird about what happened and should I still want to talk to Ray after how he reacted to it? (link)
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I do not for one second condone prosecution. You did not recount rape. There must at some point be either a lack of consent or a lack of ability to give consent. You were both drunk, technically neither of you could consent. But you did not say at any point that you expressed "I do not want to have sex" or "no".
One of life's harsh little truths. People do dumb shit when they're fucked up. Alcohol and sex have been a dangerous mixture for centuries.
If you're having a hard time with it, I'd talk to a counselor. Focus on realizing that you are capable of drinking yourself into bad situations and recognizing the points in your life when you do in fact need to assert yourself.
The fucked up thing. This guy could have been completely oblivious. He could be into you and wondering if early sex fucked it all up. He could be sitting at home thinking he did stupid shit while he was drunk as well.
He might have been willing to keep going past protests. He might not have stopped.
I don't know, and it sounds like neither do you. I think it would be immoral and irresponsible to press criminal charges when you clearly remember a turnback point when it occurred to you that night and when you did not ever actually express "no".
If you need to seek therapy for the experience, do so. There's nothing wrong or abnormal about being upset because of an unwanted sexual experience. But you didn't describe a guy taking advantage of you, you described two people who were too intoxicated to make adult decisions. There's nothing wrong with being upset about it, but I don't think you should pursue any kind of personal justice for it. In a week, it'll be less painful. In six months, it'll be something stupid you did in the past. In ten years it'll barely be a memory. If nothing else works, wait it out.
On the talking to him subject, I doubt it will help. I have no opinion about whatever third party exists, but I don't think you'll get much closure out of talking to the guy this happened with.
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I got a keyboard for my graduation present from my aunt and uncle. They knew I would love this gift and I do. I am still not very good and I have taken time away from the keyboard.. I am now starting up again. (I know it takes practice)
However, I also eventually want to learn guitar or bass. If I ask for say a guitar for Christmas or my birthday would this be a slap in the face to my aunt and uncle? (link)
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Plenty of instrumental musicians learn more than one instrument. The two at the top of my list (I can't play anything, never had the chance to learn) are piano and guitar. I don't think they would take offense, but you don't have to stick to just one instrument because someone bought you a present.
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my boyfriend and i have been togehter for 1 year thank GOD =D i jsut wanted to know, whenever he explains how much he loves me, he starts crying.. is that a good thing ? :) (link)
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He's showing emotion and vulnerability, which is generally good. But guys generally have to be a little more together than breaking down crying on a regular basis. I adore my wife, but I can show emotion and vulnerability without bawling.
You're both young, I'd bet under 20 each. If you're still together at 25 and he's still crying, it's probably going to start to annoy you. It might by the time the younger of you hits 20.
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My best friend and I just broke up from a great relationship. He has a lot going on with his family, such as two family members with cancer, helping his dad at work, watching his two year old sister, etc. He broke it off with me because he needed space and can’t handle a relationship right now.
I, of course, didn’t understand it. I thought I could help him through everything being his girlfriend and standing by him. I understood he couldn’t give me all the attention I wanted, and I told him that. He said to take his word and he just needs space, and then he will try and we can rebuild things.
Thing is, I don’t know how long this space is. It could be days or weeks. What am I supposed to do until then? I love him, my heart belongs to him, and I think he’s the first boy I’ve ever fallen in love with, but technically I’m single and so is he and we’re both allowed to move on. I don’t want to and neither does he, but I’m scared that the space between us will cause one of our feelings to change.
I told him that, and he said we’ll see. I’m convinced that space in a relationship never helps. Things change and so do feelings. That’s what I’m really, really terrified of.
It hurts, because he’s my best friend and I’m his and I didn’t think he would ever push me away or avoid telling me his problems. If he had told me, I would’ve understood, and the break up would have never happened. I don’t know what to do. I told him I’m here for him whenever he needs me as a friend, and he said he appreciated that and that’s what he needs right now, and not something official.
But what do I do to cope? What if I sit here wondering if we’ll get back together, in high hopes, and we don’t? What am I supposed to think? I’m afraid to keep bringing up this subject with him because I’m here as a friend now, and nothing else.
What can I do to almost convince he should come back to me when he does decide? I’m thinking all I can do is support him and be here and listen, act like we used to when we were friends. It hurts and I can’t stop crying, and when I’m not crying, I can feel my heart hurting. But I won’t tell him that because I’m his just his friend now, back to where we were months ago, but this time I’m heartbroken.
Any advice, any help? I’m 16/f, he’s 16/m. (link)
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Give him time. Call him daily if he continues to enjoy talking to you. Tell him you love him, remind him that hasn't changed. Let him know that even if he can't handle it all you're here for what he does want and can handle.
Beyond that, give him the space he asks for. He's 16, and that's alot more than any 16 year old is capable of dealing with. He's grown up as hell for his age that he actually realized it. Be strong for him because right now he has to be strong for everyone else. But keep your phone close and let him know you're there the second he needs to talk to a friend and unload some of the burden.
I can't tell you whats going to happen here, but if you push him you will lose him. He can't handle any extra conflict, and you're going to have to respect that.
Hope. Sink yourself into platonic friends if you want to wait for him, get close to some of the girls you know or something and go hang out in groups. Fill your time as best you can so that if the time comes that you must move on, the process is easier because you have things to move on to.
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Okay, first of all I'm sixteen.
Here is my question: My best friend who is a girl(I'm a guy) asked me a couple of Saturdays ago if I would ever date her. I said yeah sure. Then the Monday of that week she kissed me, and I liked it. We hung out on Wednesday and Friday that week and we kept kissing, Wednesday was probably the most intimate kissing though. And I don't know how I feel about her and I don't think she likes me. But I can't stop thinking of her kiss. It's pissing me off also how she is acting to it. She is being kind of mean to me and telling me she doesn't care anymore and that makes me feel bad. I just want to sort out my feelings because now she thinks I like her, and I honestly don't know because I'm confused. Plus her friend whom I dislike knows I "like" her. And I think my best friend told him. ._.; And I don't want this stupid thing to go further, But I don't want to lose her friendship. Please help.
(link)
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This relationship has a limited time span. She likes you as more than a friend. If you do not date her, the friendship will eventually end.
If you find her sexually attractive, date her. Give it a shot. She's your best friend, you get along with her and enjoy being around her alot already. You would not describe kissing her as intimate unless it was some degree of intimate to you. You may not be as into her as she is to you, but that's a matter of timing, not an indicator that you're as far down this particular rabbit hole as you could possibly fall.
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me and my boyfriend had sex the other day, and it burned during it. like it almost burned/hurt inside me. i thought that maybe it was just cause i had gotten off my period that same day. but we did it again this morning, and it still hurt. could it maybe be that i'm getting used to sex again? cause we didnt do it for over a week..cause i was on my period. does anyone know why it kinda hurts to have sex? (link)
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A yeast infection is possible. Streching because you haven't had sex in a week is possible if he's a bit thicker than average or you're a bit slimmer. If you recently (last three months) started hormonal birth control (depo, pills, patch, ring, etc) it's also possible that synthetic estrogen is making your more sensitive tissues be ... well more sensitive.
At a guess I'd say options one and three are the far more likely ones.
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Well, first off, my boyfriend and I have been going out for approximately nine months. We're extremely close, we love each other, we want to get married some day...er, well, that is, later in life. We have strict agreements that nothing's gonna happen until after college.
A few months after we started dating, I took him with me to an anime convention. I asked him if he would dress up as the character Grell Sutcliffe from one of my favorite shows, Kuroshitsuji, who (if you haven't seen it -probably-) is an openly-gay, flaming hunk of sunshine. I called him brave when he agreed to do it, and when we did, we had a great time.
Ever since then, though, this small idea of crossdressing...well, he's started taking it to the next level. He's borrowed my clothes and struts around in them (looking amazing, I might add ;D). A month or so ago, he expressed his desire to dress as Mana from Malice Mizer, which involves a black dress, platform heels, thigh-highs and pigtails. And, just last night, he told me that he would dress up as Frankenfurter for the next con...
Is it weird that I'm oddly in love with this?
I mean, all of my friends keep talking about how weird and slightly gross it is. Some even say he's going to turn gay. But the worst part about it are all these people saying that I forced him into doing these things, like I was MAKING him act this way...Sure, I love it, but does that necessarily mean I'm forcing him to do this?
Either way. I'm loving the confidence that my boyfriend is getting, and all of this is actually bringing us closer together. Through all of this, he still hasn't dumped me for a guy, although everybody expects this to happen sooner or later :P (link)
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I lived with a dude for two years who went through the same thing. We had a party like three weeks after he moved in which was girls as guys and guys as girls. He went to a girl he was close with and got made into a fairly convincing woman (and you really couldn't tell he wasn't from the back) and he started wearing skirts and doing stuff like that on a regular basis.
Straight as an arrow, so far as I know. He never expressed any interest in guys on any level and had a two girlfriends in the time I knew him (the second of whom he's still with last I heard) and it's just something he's into.
If it makes both of you happy, go with it. I'd have a talk with him. Express to him that you like that he's into it, but that you want to make sure that he's doing this for him and not for you, let him know that you're wondering this specifically because people have said the things you've mentioned. Honesty is all you need, you're just trying to be supportive and if you express that he'll probably reassure you and tell you he's just happy you're not judging him.
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Ok i'm a 15 year old female for starters...just about 2and a half weeks ago my girlfriend and I broke up because my parents dont accept the fact that i am bisexual(more lesbian) although we had been together only 4 a month i developed strong and i do mean strong feelings for her to the point where right now i am still having problems dealing with us not being together. I still have times at night where i cry just because we aren't together and from missing talking and being with her. how do i deal with this? (link)
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Dealing with loss is very often about the time someone occupied in your life. You had parts of your life set aside, even after four months, and so where there was comfort, fun, and affection now there's just quiet.
It's understandably hard to deal with.
Best tip is to try to fill your time. Get a hobby or two, spend more time with non-romantic friends. Get closure if you need it, but try to spend the time you spent with her doing things for you. Occupying yourself so you don't have too much time to dwell buys you the time your head and heart need to begin the healing process and for you to move on.
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basically i know my dads cheating. i dont think reallty that is with one women, i think its prostitutes. im 18.. ive known about this for years, but this year its hit me hard. My moom has no clue, and works nights. Basically, i believe he might be doing this becasue he doesnt feel loved from us, since me and my brother hardly talk to him, my brothers away at college, and my mom works nights, while he works days. It kills me to the deepest part in my heart, and knowing that i am the only one who is holding this secret is killing me knowing my dads a lie and i have to hold a secret from my mom. I cant tell her because i have the strongest feeling in the whole world that he would hurt himself or kill himself. my parents are almost 50, and i just dont think i could possibly stand seeing them go through a divorce.
my biggest dilema is should i say something, but if i tell my dad our relationship would go further down the drain, because i have no relationship at all. it kills me to know that someone i used to be soooooooo close to is now just a lie in my life and could possibly feel not loved, but its hard to show my love when were already so far apart and i know everything hes doing and seen him lie to me not be there for me.... so if i say something to him then im afraid he'll take action to hurt himself..
If i dont say something, im sooo scared guilt will catch up to him and he'll kill himself, or he'll get caught with a prostitute.
its a circle, and i have no answer. ive been to counseling, talked to my moms best friend, everything. this is really affecting my life and i just dont know what to do. i neeed help please. (link)
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I very, VERY strongly suggest that you stay out of it.
You know your parents better than I do. You say you think he'll hurt himself and I can't in good conscience tell you to interfere anyway.
If you step in, one or worse both could blame you when their lives fall apart and it's all out in the open. If you don't, their lives could still fall apart, but no part of it would be in any way put on your shoulders.
It also, to some degree, comes down to what you could live with. This situation could go south no matter what you do. What could you live with? Could you live with yourself if you did nothing? Could you live with yourself if you said something and your parents lost their shit?
If you decide to take any action, you might consider doing what you can to "suicide proof" your house. Remove any knives, firearms, scissors, anything you think he might hurt himself with from places he'd go to grab something, and have a phone ready to call 911 the second anything goes bad. If your father threatens suicide at any point do not hesitate to call 911 and have him put under a 72 hour involuntary psychiatric lockdown. As his non minor daughter I'm pretty sure they'd take your word if you called in saying he was suicidal if you thought he needed to be protected from himself.
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i'm leaving for college this weekend. i dont really have a question but i just need some advice and words of encouragement. i'm a super shy person and i really want to be outgoing and make new friends. please help me! i'm nervous that i will be the same shy person i was before and that i'll be depressed and just want to go home every weekend. (link)
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Every college has clubs, social groups, and all kinds of other stuff to get into that's usually advertised everywhere.
I moved off to UT quite a while back, and I remember there being an absolutely ridiculous number of things thrown at me to do. I joined an Aikido group, a gaming group, a calculus study group (badly needed), an intramural soccer team, and met a couple of circles of friends to hang out with during off time.
Make yourself go out and show up to things that sound vaguely interesting to you. Often times the people make the group far more than the actual activity, so do a bunch of stuff and then cut things out as you narrow down what you really want to dedicate some time to.
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why is guacamole always cost extra and is expensive? when ordering things like a burrito, say. (link)
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I just had some for lunch, and the logical answer to me is because it makes everything taste better, so naturally a business who wants to make money will make you pay extra for it.
Also avocados cost more money than the average fruit or vegetable.
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i'm starting to think i might be slighly bi. i love my boyfriend to death, and i know i could never go out with a girl. i couldn't even hook up with one. i don't even like hooking up with guys. but when i'm drunk with my girlfriends or something, i always end up kissing them. i heard that drunk actions are sober thoughts, but i don't think about kissing girls when i'm sober. and also, most of my friends know that i'll admit that i think boobs are pretty. i don't know why, but they just are, and i like having them. my friends also know i'll be the first to admit that girls are absolute bitches, myself included, and i'll never go out with one, like i said earlier. does it sound like i'm bi or what? (link)
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God only knows.
You might not be into bisexuality at all. You might just enjoy attention when drunk and be someone who isn't disgusted by naked people of the same sex.
You might be too repressed and uncomfortable with the idea to ever think about it sober.
Time will tell. You might go a long period of time without kissing a girl and realize you miss it and want to do it again. You might eventually hit the point where you exit the party phase of life and never think about it again.
Don't feel in too much a hurry to label yourself. If you are bi, there will be time to explore it. If you aren't, you'll figure out out, date guys, and not care.
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i smoked weed last night, about a bowl's worth. and my parents just informed me that i need to get a job, asap. so how do i clean my system quickly? thanks. (link)
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If all you've smoked is one bowl in the last couple of months, it'll likely take less than a week.
THC is stored in fat cells and released back into the blood stream, but there's a max your body can put into storage in a 24 hour period. One bowl won't even come close to maxing that out.
Thirty to forty minutes of exercise per day (enough to work up a good sweat) plus water and diuretics will get you cleaned out pretty quickly.
Diuretics are things like anything caffeinated and cranberry juice. If you can get the exercise in the morning before you start your day it will help alot more than if you do it at night once your day is done.
If all you had in your system was that one bowl, a week tops and it'll be gone from your system enough to not show up in a urine test, which is what most jobs use. If they do a mouth swab it's less, a blood test it'll take a month, hair follicle test just look for another job.
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I have problem with my older brother. He is 18, lives at home, and goes to community college. "Steve" also has a part time job where he earns little money. My problem is that he is lazy, rude, selfish, and inconsiderate to name a few things. He does almost no chores, leaves messes everywhere, and uses and steals my things without my permission. He gets defensive when ever I or my parents mention these things. He won't even look for his own place or a better job. Is there anything I can do? He is getting on everyone's nerves and I would really appreciate some advice.
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Install a lock on your door and give both of your parents copies of the key.
Seriously. Protect your shit, beyond that you need to talk to your parents, because it's their house and thus their mistake in enabling a leech. Maybe pointing out to them that he's getting everything he can out of them while giving as little back as possible will make them realize they need to kick him out for a year or two to survive on his own.
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I've known the man I'm with for a few years now. We didn't start dating until recently, and because of our previous friendship I think that might have caused our feelings to "acclerate" faster than what's probably healthy.
There's just something about him. It keeps me interested. I'm intrigued by him, even.
It's a little confusing, so I'll start from the beginning if you don't mind.
He lives in a separate town about 20 minutes away from where I live. Whenever we see eachother, it's perfect; unexplainable.
But whenever we can't see eachother (his car is broken down, and I, unfortunately, don't have one; I can't afford it) he never really talks to me. I have to be the one to initiate a conversation, or find a way to go see him. He seems genuine, but I keep telling him that communication is key for a functional relationship. Not 24/7 of course, that's kid of clingy. I just mean courtesy. Let-me-know-how-you're-doing kind of thing.
But, apparently, he likes actually "seeing" a person to be with them.
Which I don't think is quite right. Shouldn't a relationship not change due to distance apart and/or time away from eachother ?
To wrap things up, he wants to marry me. I told him I want to join the military, and that's when he came up with the idea. Do you think he really cares, or do you think he might just be staying with me so he'll have "guaranteed support".
I'm constantly worried about his motives. He said he's to the age where he wants to settle down, and doesn't want to be with anyone but me. He even said he doesn't even want to be sexually involved with other women, just me.
What do you think ? (link)
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Too early in my opinion, but then I know practically nothing about your relationship or this guy. He might be entirely genuine, he might not. The one thing I can say is that dating recently doesn't put you in a good position to really know him all that well. There's a wall when you're just friends, and you never get past it until intimacy is established. It sounds like you've been dating less than a year, you sure as hell don't want to get married after six months or even just a year of dating at your age (again assuming under 25)
Focus on your life. Given the question, that's the best I can do. I can't guarantee anything about this guy, I can't even predict. But I can tell you that if you get married for someone elses reasons on someone else's timeline, you'll end up regretting it.
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