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Breaking up with my girlfriend
18/m
My gf and i have been together for two and a half years. In the beginning, things were going so great and we really loved eachother. But lately, i just dont even enjoy spending time with her. we argue about everything. I don't want to be with her anymore. On top of that, there's another girl that ive been talking to that i really like. I told her that we could be together once i leave my current girlfriend, and i really do want to be with her. The problem is, i cant bring myself to break up with my current girlfriend and hurt her. I know thats stupid, because ive been hurting the girl i really like all along by telling her that she and i can be together, and im having a hard time maning up and doing the right thing. Also, im leaving for college in a few days, and its 6 hours away. Any advice at all would be awesome. Thanks :)
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Dude.
Every second you continue the relationship is going to be another second she regrets. You know "how long have you felt like this" is almost certainly coming. When the honest answer is weeks, maybe months...
If it's over, end it. You obviously still care about and respect her, it'll be better for both of you if you don't wait until you resent her to the point that it gets ugly because you stuck around longer than you should have.
Tell her that you just don't feel like you're really working well together, and that you're growing up into different people and you're not going to be able to fix that in a few days before you move across the state/out of state.
Tell her you know that it isn't working and won't on your side. Hell, tell her that you want to move away to college single and unattached so you can see where life leads you. A little honesty and a little less trying to spare her feelings will make it real for her a little faster, which at this point is kind of a good thing. You're not going to be around forever, stop pretending you are. It's dishonest and disrespectful, especially considering that you have feelings for someone else you want to explore.
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i'm kinda going through the same thing right now me and my boyfriend same age as you 2 years and some odd months and we've been fighting about everything we both love each other i'm sure but we have issues that he or i have not discussed and need to talk about so we did and hopefully things will get a lot better i want things to work and so does he so we will try our hardest to get back to the good part of a young serious relationship. if my boyfriend were to be like you and want some other girl i wouldn't think anything of it meaning i probally already had this pop in my mind. of course if your fighting and things are rocky then you cant expect someone to stay with that. if you really like this other girl and the fact that your going to college in a few Days means that your ready to explore more options and you want to see other things that are going on with other people and not having another person on your back all the time totally understandable if thats the case in some way let your current girlfriend know that. say that things are really rocky it has been and its not healthy for the both of us and as i go to college im going to go through something in my life where i want to do other things and be with other people its been good peace. if things are tough and wont let up its time to say its over and she will be hurt and cry and wanna talk to you still but things happen for a reason i guess and it happens.
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The problem with relationships not working out is the fact that people these days do not know how to communicate with each other... all they do is argue and say hurtful things to each other... both sides want to have the last say... why throw a 2 year relationship away? was that relationship even really true love? just ending everything just like that due to arguments and no one stepping up to make things right? hmmm... I don't know but if you really don't love her or care for her in a romantic way, them maybe breaking up with her is the correct choice... the thing you have to do is basically sit down and talk to her... tell her you don't feel the way you used to feel about her anymore due to the constant arguments and negative vibes surrounding your relationship... I mean, they can be worked on of course but if you truly don't love her like that anymore than go ahead and tell her you want go your separate ways.
If she starts to beg or say why? than just tell her straight up you don't love her anymore and basically your relationship is not working out and you are just moving on. She will understand of course because like you, I am sure she is aware of all the issues you guys are having... sometimes things between people end up not working out... and that is the reality of life... she has got to accept that... if she really loves you, yes... she will feel sad but at the same time if it is not meant to be... it is simply just not meant to be... you can't force someone to be together with someone one does not love anymore... let her know as soon as possible and get all this drama done and over with... you are about to go to college... you need to be focused...
as for the other girl, hopefully this experience helps you realize that you need to have communication... talk about what you guys don't like and like about each other and work towards improving such bad qualities... this will make your relationship a much more healthy one as well as a happy long-lasting one as well. don't just "solve" things by saying oh, I think we should break up! I mean if you really love each other why end it all? I know it is very very annoying to deal with it all but in the end, it will be for the better... rare is the person who finds true love... don't just end things if what you feel for the other is really LOVE even though so many arguments take place... work on solving the issue instead of walking away from solving what could have been an amazing relationship.
I wish you the best if anything I am here
best of luck in college!
- trueadvice3
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You must resolve this before you leave.
Break up with the current girlfriend - face-to-face. Site the constant arguments + you leaving for school. She's going to be hurt no matter how you do it, but try to be a class act. Use "I" sentences, not "you" messages.
I suggest that you initiate a "getting to know you" relationship with the new girl since you are packing up and leaving town. Email and skype have changed long distance relationships, but you will soon be involved in a whole new world.
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