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He needs space, but might 'try' us later
My best friend and I just broke up from a great relationship. He has a lot going on with his family, such as two family members with cancer, helping his dad at work, watching his two year old sister, etc. He broke it off with me because he needed space and can’t handle a relationship right now.
I, of course, didn’t understand it. I thought I could help him through everything being his girlfriend and standing by him. I understood he couldn’t give me all the attention I wanted, and I told him that. He said to take his word and he just needs space, and then he will try and we can rebuild things.
Thing is, I don’t know how long this space is. It could be days or weeks. What am I supposed to do until then? I love him, my heart belongs to him, and I think he’s the first boy I’ve ever fallen in love with, but technically I’m single and so is he and we’re both allowed to move on. I don’t want to and neither does he, but I’m scared that the space between us will cause one of our feelings to change.
I told him that, and he said we’ll see. I’m convinced that space in a relationship never helps. Things change and so do feelings. That’s what I’m really, really terrified of.
It hurts, because he’s my best friend and I’m his and I didn’t think he would ever push me away or avoid telling me his problems. If he had told me, I would’ve understood, and the break up would have never happened. I don’t know what to do. I told him I’m here for him whenever he needs me as a friend, and he said he appreciated that and that’s what he needs right now, and not something official.
But what do I do to cope? What if I sit here wondering if we’ll get back together, in high hopes, and we don’t? What am I supposed to think? I’m afraid to keep bringing up this subject with him because I’m here as a friend now, and nothing else.
What can I do to almost convince he should come back to me when he does decide? I’m thinking all I can do is support him and be here and listen, act like we used to when we were friends. It hurts and I can’t stop crying, and when I’m not crying, I can feel my heart hurting. But I won’t tell him that because I’m his just his friend now, back to where we were months ago, but this time I’m heartbroken.
Any advice, any help? I’m 16/f, he’s 16/m.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Give him time. Call him daily if he continues to enjoy talking to you. Tell him you love him, remind him that hasn't changed. Let him know that even if he can't handle it all you're here for what he does want and can handle.
Beyond that, give him the space he asks for. He's 16, and that's alot more than any 16 year old is capable of dealing with. He's grown up as hell for his age that he actually realized it. Be strong for him because right now he has to be strong for everyone else. But keep your phone close and let him know you're there the second he needs to talk to a friend and unload some of the burden.
I can't tell you whats going to happen here, but if you push him you will lose him. He can't handle any extra conflict, and you're going to have to respect that.
Hope. Sink yourself into platonic friends if you want to wait for him, get close to some of the girls you know or something and go hang out in groups. Fill your time as best you can so that if the time comes that you must move on, the process is easier because you have things to move on to.
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