My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
Visitors: 58100
Main Categories:
Families
Random Weirdos
Parenting
View All
Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
isis
S_C
Brandi_S
ChevyIINova
Vikki27
kristen22
|
| |
|
about 3 weeks ago, i became sexually active for the first time. i haven't gotton my period yet. I've been stressed, but my breasts hurt, i feel sick to my stomach no matter what, and my back hurts. It could be the weather (with my back) but I think i could be prego. I took the home test and it was negative, but i still don't have my period. I know having sex can cause irregular periods, but should i see a doctor? or something? i don't want my parents to know...but any answers would be appreciated. (link)
|
You need to go and see your doctor about this. There is the possibility that you are pregnant, but if you are not then you need to have those symptoms checked out. The doctor will not inform your parents because he has to keep his consultations private unless you give him permission to tell them.
I wish you well for the future.
|
I know this is probably common or whatnot.. but when i like sit down for more than say.. 10 minutes, when i stand up i get reallly lightheaded and feel like im gonna fall over. is something wrong with me.. or is it just because the blood is rushing through my head??
help please! (link)
| |
Feeling light headed when standing up is quite common and nothing to be worried about. I suggest that you get up slowly rather than in a hurry. Yes it is the re-distribution of the blood around the body.
|
My brothers gay..
Its not that bad.. i mean.. hes not really girlie.. hes 18 and still lives with us tho (he graduated).. his boyfriends come over all the time.. and im ok with that.. its not too weird.. but when i talk about it with people.. its hard.. and almost like.. embaressing to say hes GAY.. but i know that there is nothing ot really be embarresed about? help?! (link)
|
Stand up and be proud of your brother who is an individual not a title.
There is no need to feel embarrassed about him with other people because if they don't like it then they know where to go!
|
|
I was in my room and I heard a weird noise coming from my cat. He was in the litter box, puking and then he took a really hard shit. I opened the door and saw him like falling over. Is something wrong with him? He's kinda really old. I want my kitten to stay away from him but he always attacks him. Is there something wrong with my kitteh? (link)
| |
You really need to take your cat to the vets just to make sure he is okay. It is quite normal for a kitten to playfully attack an older cat because that is how they learn. The only way to prevent this is to keep them apart. Good luck.
|
|
Tell me please, what is the best way to deal with adult children who live destructive lives? Is it ever okay to say "I have had enough and I want you out of my life" I mean I love my son and couldn't deal with that well, but I can't deal with this either. He's lazy, won't work and is in an abusive relationship. He's on probation for an old charge, but is likely to screw up again if he keeps going this way. He refuses counseling, but has no money or a job anyway. I cannot do tough love, and I don't even know if that really works after talking to other parents. I love him I really do, but he (and his gf) are hurting the rest of our family. Anyone been there? (link)
|
I can't really add anything to what younggrandma has written except that sometimes only tough love will do.
You cannot be expected to support him for the rest of his life and it is not your job to do so.
You have got to have a life as well that is happy and meaningful without having to worry about someone who is old enough to look after themselves.
I wish you all the very best with this.
|
|
my girlfriend recently hiding her moblie phone every were 1 night she texted me saying staying out 2 night back in the moring at 3:15 in the moring she came back she never did drink but now she is out all the time so i ask if she was having afair she said no so i left it then i got the chance to look on her phone and find 2 text message 1 was sent saying sunbed are bad soft rocking of the bed is better the ofter one was in her inbox say so horny r u me ok i`ll wank over you laterxxxxxx so again i ask her she told me to get out after 4 year and a lot of history there is a five years old child in this relationship who i brought up at if she was my own then on the day i got my stuff i was hoping she would think about us but instead she went out drinking agian meet an old friend now this old freind and herself relationship is moving quicker then she expeted do you think i still have a chance? (link)
|
It is very sad when a relationship goes bad, especially when there are children involved as well.
From what you say it sounds as though she is going through a bad patch and is backing away from you. If she will not even talk to you about it then, in my opinion, this relationship is not going to be saved.
You need to get some answers from her in order to allow yourself to move on. You need to know where you stand concerning the child and whether or not you can still be in the childs life. The end of a relationship is very traumatic for everyone involved and to get through it causes a lot of emotional upheaval.
There are no easy answers about whether you still have a chance, but in order to try to patch things up your girlfriend needs to be honest with you. You may not like what you hear but don't be tempted into striking out verbally in anger. There are always two sides to every story and each side must be heard.
I wish you the very best of luck in whatever direction your future leads you.
|
ok soo heres the deal.
me and my best friend,we didnt fight or anythign,but shes so immature and honestly she bugs the crap out if of me. well she still acts possesive of me. but i have a hard time trusting,so i dont have very many close friends. i cant even go BACK to her because she found 3 other friends"a,b,and c" we'll call them. ik that i HAVE a few friends...but their more like pleasant aquaintances,(sp?) anyway i geuss my point is... ive been really depressed because of we,,bascally what i explained above. Im not aloud 2 write poetry because i have had emotional problems before and my parents now search everything of mine,and get mad when i write. i no loner have anyone i can just talk to to feel better and i dont want a therepist.i tried it before. any suggestions? pleaseee
Ex Oh (link)
|
I don't understand why your parents won't let you write because it is a very therapeutic thing to do. It allows you to release all your pent-up emotions in a controlled manner. If they have a specific reason it might be possible to ask them to explain it to you. Also, try explaining to them how helpful it can be.
Ask them also to allow you to have a little bit more privacy. I guess you are still quite young but you should be able to put your things away knowing they will not be looked at.
I can only suggest that you try talking to one of your teachers at school, someone that you can trust. Ask them if you could have some time for a good conversation with them in private.
You will get through this time of emotion and as you get older you will find different ways of coping with feeling down. Nothing ever lasts forever and one day you can look back and reflect on it all. Use your experiences in a positive manner and always try to look at things from all perspectives.
I wish you well for the future.
|
i've been feeling dizzy, constapted,headache, cramps/stomace ache, and mostly the chills. for about a few days now. i jsut had my period in october and i think im due for my period aby week. Are theese some pms signs or someithng else.
Thanks =) (link)
| |
It sounds like you have picked up a bug of some sort. It is possible that constipation and cramps could be pms but to be sure you need to go and see your doctor. The sooner you are seen, the sooner you will be sorted. Good luck.
|
|
Is coming to visit me & my family in the next 2 days. I recently heard about something he did to my older sister & now I'm really scared of him. He deserves to go to jail. He sexually harrassed my sister when she was around 3 years old and when she was in 3rd grade. Please help me. idk what to do im soo scaredd. (link)
|
I am so sorry to hear what your Grandfather did to your sister. You need to protect yourself and your sister from this ever happening again.
However, to do this you must tell an adult that you trust. If you feel that you cannot tell either of your parents then you must find an aunty/uncle/friend/teacher that you trust and you have to tell them.
This will not be easy but it must be done because he cannot be allowed to sexually harass any child. If you live in the UK give Childline a call on 0800 1111 (it is a freephone number) and they will be able to help you through this. If you live anywhere else you need to find a similar helpline.
I don't know how old you are so I am guessing that you are still quite young. There are a lot of people out there trained to help you and your sister through this. I hope that it all goes well with you and wish you both a better, safer future.
|
|
I was in a relationship notice i said "was" it seems like that now, he came across as sweet and caring in the beginning, then after awhile he became demanding, manipulative, controlling and then finally he just stayed around for the sake of torment. I got out of it by the only means I knew how and he wanted to sit there and watch as I took a knife to my wrist and sliced away, do you know what it felt like? Numb.It was far better to do that to myself then to constantly listen to the verbal abuse everyday,i shut myself away and figured hurting myself for getting myself into this situation in the first place was my own punishment for me to constantly remember how overpowering someone can be on you.Guilt at first was mine for not having the strength to walk away and tell him to go to hell...now i hear that he still verbally abuses about me to anyone who will take time out to listen to his sorry ass. am i glad i am not talking to him anymore? i guess i shud be glad im still breathing and he has no knowledge where i am. im safe for now but i dont know what to think anymore about people. (link)
|
I am so sorry that you got so desperate that you took a knife to your own wrist. He sounds to me as if the only person he cares about is himself. It is quite a surreal act to actually take a knife to the wrist because all the pain and hurt falls away for just that second and it feels as if there is no other way out. There is and you are much better off without him.
It took you a great deal of courage not to go through with ending your life and actually moving on. Have faith in yourself, in your abilities to cope with life and you will meet someone you can trust one day. You are strong and you will get through this because nothing lasts forever.
Hold your head up as you go about your daily business and people will see someone they want to get to know. It is not easy rebuilding a new life after an abusive one so you must keep on repeating that you are a very worthy person. The good people far outnumber the bad people. I wish you a very happy and successful life and future.
|
|
i have a friend who enjoys making me feel bad about stuff i have no control over. She likes this kid who absolutely can't stand her because she's clingy (i'm not trying to be mean, but i just thought its good to include every detail) she's absolutely in love with him and if he doesn't answer her on AIM she freaks out with the "are you mad at me? what'd i do" etc. He doesn't like her, but he does like me, and i like him. And she just can't accept it.(i sounded like a bitch, but i didn't mean to) Well he and i talk and may date, and she's always saying things like "i don't see why you talk to him, he's an asshole, if i were you i would have given up on him" and then she tries to make me feel bad or something by saying "i really like him, but there's nothing i can do, he likes you.. it's because i'm ugly...i just wish i had someone like you do" and stuff and i don't know how to politely tell her to shut up about it already. i mean, she just is always such a downer and i just can't take it anymore! i want to be friends with her and everything, but not if shes gonna be obsessed with him and always jealous/angry or whatever. (link)
|
Is she really your friend? I personally wouldn't have anything to do with someone who treated me like that. A true friend would be pleased for you and wouldn't spend her time belittling you for fun.
Tell her straight and plain that you and this guy are going to be dating and nothing she can say or do will change your minds.
If she continues to be nasty and foul-mouthed about everything then I suggest that you find yourself some more worthy friends.
She will probably sulk, cause problems for you, have a go at the poor guy and generally make life unpleasant for you both. Therefore, I suggest that you and your new boyfriend-to-be have a chat at the very beginning and promise to tell the absolute truth about everything so that your friend cannot manipulate either of you into believing any lies she may spread to try and break you up. I wish you all the very best.
|
|
hey! well im 15/f and this guy i have a feeling kind of likes me! i always flirt by saying if you say that one more time im gonna have to do something about it then they do and i like go flirt with them. well this kid i really didnt know i mean ive talked to him like 3 times maybe i/m me and started talkin to me and then called me a couple times. but on AIM i was like if you dont stop sayin somethin im gonna do somethin about it and hes like what you gonna do? and im like you'll see when i see you next. but i was kinda being a tease to him because really ive only madeout like a couple times. but im afraid that ive kinda sounded like i wanted to do stuff with him which i dont at all..maybe just makeout? and now he always wants to get together and probably just wants to do stuff with me. he already asked if i would have sex with him and i was like noo im not gonna do that because yes im still a virgin!! :D but im afraid i have maybe led him on or like teased him too much so if we ever do end up hangin out or whatever what do i say to him saying like i wanna get to know you better because i really dont know you too well!? i feel bad for kinda teasin him i do it without even knowing i am. but i just dont know what to do! he kinda keeps callin me and one time we talked and he was sayin all this cute stuff to me but i think he was just trying to sweet talk me so he could get in my pants and i dont really wanna talk to him on the phone anymore because he makes me feel kinda uncomfortable since he is always talking about me and sexual stuff. i feel bad but i just dont want a relationship right now and i definatley dont wanna do much with him! thanks so much for reading this and if you could help me on what to say and everything to him that would be so helpful! (link)
|
It was a little naughty to lead him on but there has been no real harm done.
I suggest that you tell him that you are sorry for letting him think you wanted to take things further. You have to be true to yourself at all times and just say that for now you are not looking for a long term relationship. You are only 15 and it is way too young for some girls to be even thinking about having sex, let alone casual sex with someone you hardly know.
I also suggest that you do not talk to him any more on AIM or the phone. Good luck.
|
me and this girl have been friendly 4 bout 5 months and the other month she txtd me sayin she has no got a bf and that she still wants to keep in touch with me cos she will miss me, and when we went on our date she has kept the photo we had taken of us and she has also kept the train ticket and this boyfiend she has now she says is " the 1" if he is the 1 y keep the ticket and photo of us?
the the other day she was meant to send her bf a txt and it appeard on my phone instead when his name is Kris and my name is Ste but K is nowere near S in the alaphbet is it? is she tryin to make me jelious r sumthin?
she says that the date we went on she will never 4get it was 1 of the best days she had and that when we kiss she went all funny but i still dont understand it? when we talk now we just end up arguing and bitchin bout each other then we say sorry 2 each other and that it wasnt nice but y does she still want me as a mate if we argue and then make up the other day she said she "hated me and that i had "blown it "( y had i blown it she says she dont like me anymre) and told me to "piss off" but then she txts bk and says sorry bout bfore . but if she dont like me and i pissd her off y she wanna keep intouch with me she says I always make her happy and smile isn’t that wot a bf is for? But she told me the other day she had got rid of the photo?
I know I shound havnt done it thou but I made a fake email addy to talk 2 her “bf” and I was talking 2 him and he seems a nice guy but when I askd him are you single he said ye iam but iam just getting off with this girls thou. So I think she finks they r seein each other?then I askd her wot is she doin 2nite ( last nit) and she said iam goin out with kris and havin sumthin 2 eat at his,but when I was talking to him askd him wot was he up 2 2nit and he said “ just a quite nite in watchin the football and I was talking 2 him till bout 11 ( at nite)anyways why is she tryin 2 make me jelious? I thought you only made sum1 jelious when u likd them?
(link)
|
I think that she really does like you and is trying to provoke a stronger reaction from you so that she can work out how much you like her.
You two really need to work out what you both want from this relationship, whether it is just friendship or something more. Be honest with her and tell her what you really want. Tell her that she is making you jealous or annoyed or however you are feeling about the other guy.
Ask her out on a proper date if you want to or tell her to leave you alone if you cannot handle what she is doing to you.
Honesty is the only way to sort out this problem. I wish you all the very best.
|
|
Can you please tell me how old you were when you went on your first date, and the first time you made out?? (link)
| |
I first dated when I was 14 and I first made out with my husband when we were dating at 16. (We are still together).
|
|
My Best Friend is "with" this guy. he has a girlfriend (not my friend) and hes messing around with my friend and he says he hates his g/f and hes using her for money and blah blah blah and he says hes gonna break up with her after they go to this place that his g/f is paying for him to go and i dont like him i think hes gonna screw her over b/c hes already made her upset alot and i hate seeing her hurt. ALL of her friends are telling her to drop him including me, her other best friends and even HIS friends! yeah but shes NOT listening to anyone. what can i do to help her get over him? and theres tons of other guys that like her alot and there sweethearts and i would love it if she went out with them so please what can me or me and my friends do to help her with this? and another thing is that all of us think hes gonna use her for sex b/c she practicly told him she would have sex with him if he breaks up with his g/f but i dont want her to so ANYTHING with him. please help all of us i WILL rate 5's and leave great comments if u give me good advice. thank you so much (link)
|
I agree with you that she should not have sex with this guy to try to keep him, he will just use and abuse her.
Unfortunately, she is probably all too aware of his faults. She needs to realise that he will do to her what he is already doing to his current girlfriend. He obviously has no respect for these girls and until she realises this there isn't a lot you can do. If her self-esteem is low then she needs all the support she can get from her friends when she does eventually realise what is happening. You just need to be around for when the time comes.
I think at the moment the more you and your friends go on about how bad he is, the more she will dig her heels in just to spite you. It is probably not something she is aware she is doing so perhaps you all need to back off a little and give her the room to see for herself.
Always be there to pick up the pieces and don't say you told her so. In the meantime perhaps it might be a good idea to invite her out in a big group of friends away from this guy several times a week. I wish you all the very best of luck with this and I hope your friend gets through this intact.
|
|
My Boyfriends Birthday is comming up really soon and I can't think of anything to get him (hes my 1st b/f so I've never got a guy anything) I can't even think of anything at all please help. (link)
|
Here are a couple of ideas:-
1. Buy a picture frame he would like and put in a
nice picture of yourself.
2. Get a keyring that holds a photo to give him.
3. Buy a CD or DVD, or offer to take him to the
pictures.
4. Bake him a cake or some cookies.
5. If he has a hobby buy something appropriate
item for that hobby.
I hope these help. Best wishes.
|
|
This question is directed toward all you christian colunists. I'm planning to get a tattoo soon and I'd like to get the opinion of other christians. So if you are a christian, I'd like to know how you feel about tattoos. (link)
| |
As long as you are happy to get a tattoo then go ahead. Personally I don't have a problem with Christians having tattoos.
|
|
why do girls try and make you jelious if the say they dont like you?? also do u think u can find love at such a young age like 15-16 and spend the rest of your life with them??? (link)
|
Girls will try to make boys jealous to get a reaction from them. It usually means that they are interested even if they say they don't like you.
It is very possible to find the right person at age 15/16 and spend the rest of your life together. I met my husband when I was 15 and we have been very happily married 24 years this year. If you think she is the right girl then go for it - you have nothing to lose. Good luck.
|
|
If your body rejects a piercing, what will it look like? What are the signs of the body rejecting ANY piercing? I have my finger web pierced and it's really dry around the edges and I'm worried my body might be rejecting it!! (link)
| |
If your body is rejecting a piercing it will usually form a protective barrier against the foreign object. For instance, the sight of the piercing may become sore and with a little pus oozing out. It would hurt to touch and if it gets infected it will be slightly warm to the touch too. It might be a good idea to bathe the piercing sight in a saline solution. If you are at all worried then I suggest you go to the chemist and ask to see a Pharmicist who can advise you on what to do. All the best.
|
|
13/f I love my best friend to death (in a friendship way don't worry), but in the last week we've gotten in minor disagreements every day. nothing big and she's ussually appologized for over reacting, but I'm wondering if our friendship is like dying. It could just be that it's the last day of school, but I have the kind of best friend that could also just be annoyed with me and is to nice to tell me. i sent her an email which im waiting for her to come home to read, so i dont need advice on what to do, just if you think my friendship is ending. i rate high. thanks. (link)
| |
No I don't think your friendship is coming to an end from what you say. It's possible that she has a few things on her mind and just needs a little space to sort them out. It could be that you need a little time out from each other if the friendship is too full on. There are many reasons why someone can be a bit touchy and as her friend you need to allow her deal with them in her own way. Just tell her that you are there for her and to not worry about over reacting. Keep being her friend and I don't think you need to worry too much. All the best.
|
|