xokristabelle's advice column | Page 30

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Bay Area, CA

Occupation:

Retail/Student

Age:

24

Member Since:

May 26, 2004

Answers:

1610

Last Update:

January 10, 2015

Visitors:

82951

Favorite Columnists

MaxwellsSilverHammer

H0LLY_W00D_FAME

BeautifulMadness

about

Hello! I am studying esthetics at an Aveda Institute after spending years in retail. I am proof that nothing turns out how you think it will, and that's a good thing. When you think you've got it figured out, you don't. Life would be boring otherwise, right?
Makeup, skincare, and psychology are my passions and I'm also happy to give advice on relationships, particularly for teenagers (so many things I wish I could have told myself a decade ago!) I'm happy to help fellow abuse survivors as well.
I'm a diehard SF Giants fan and also enjoy watching the Sharks and Niners. Addicted to music, especially The Gaslight Anthem. Oh, and my name is Krista. :)

advice

f/15

**Sorry, I didn't know what what category to put this in.**

My hair is getting a lot of split ends and is frizzy.

I want my hair to be smooth, soft, shiny, and most importantly healthy.

How do I do that? Any good shampoos conditions, and other hair products that will help keep it healthy and shiny?

**Thanks very much in advance.**

Herbal Essences is cheap and works really, really well.

Two lines might work for you: their None of Your Frizzness and their Long Term Relationship.
I'd use the None of Your Frizzness shampoo and conditioner. From their Long Term Relationship line they have a product to prevent split ends. You can mix and match until you find what's best for you. But first, get your ends trimmed. Only way to get rid of those split ends.

usually when people wear eyeliner, throughout the day it doenst go underneath there eye and form a "racoon eye"
BUT IT DOES THAT TO ME!
does anyone have any reallly good suggestions?
types of eyeliner..really good waterproof ones, becuase i just bought a really cheap one the other day and it doenst really do anyhting.. it was like $5.
THANKS SO MUCH!

Try Revlon ColorStay eyeliner.
Also, seal your makeup with a primer, like Benefit's She-Laq. That's how actresses, etc. keep their makeup on all day.

Hello, i'm here to look for some advice. This morning I was getting the clothes off of my daughter's bed and under the pillow I found a hollowed out book. I'm confused, and have no idea why in the world she would want a hollowed out book. There was nothing in it, but she could have taken something out. I smelled inside for suspision of drugs but it just smelled like a book. She is 13 and has always been a good girl but I don't understand this. Please answer!

It's hard to tell without knowing anything about your daughter.

Probably it's nothing. Maybe she keeps a journal in there, or her money or something. Drugs are absolute worst case scenario. Again, it's hard to tell.

Chances are, it's something innocent, since she's only 13. That being said, at the age of 13, I was smoking, drinking, stealing, and doing drugs, all while my parents thought I was a "good girl" and a loner. The best thing to do is just to pay attention. That's it. Subtly smell her- does she smell like smoke or pot? Ask questions (try not to be nagging about it though)- where is she going? Who is she hanging out with? Does she act different when she comes home? Who are her friends? These are all things you should pay attention to.

There's no straight answer for this question. I wish I could give you a better answer, but the truth is, I don't know. You have a choice: you can let it go (the teenager part of me is itching to tell you to leave her alone) or you can ask her about it. Keep in mind that she probably will not admit to anything, but if she's lying, she will probably get upset, angry, and defensive ("Why are you going through my stuff? Don't you trust me?") After all, if she was innocent, she'd have nothing to hide.

Hope I helped. Good luck!

-Kristen, 17/f

How can I prevent my hair from becoming staticy? It's sooo annoying and it drives me nuts! Cause sometimes it sticks to my neck, and that's really annoying. Sometimes it sticks to the back of my shirt, or it just floats around... and when I grab all my hair it makes a static electricity sound or something O.o.... It like gets staticy on the day my hair looks the worst. (when my hair is greasy.) I dunno why it gets staticy. From my hairbrush, or the fabric my clothing is made of/my coat or jacket?... So are they any tips to prevent your hair from ever being staticy ever again? Or for at least a long period of time. Thanks!!!!

You could use Static Guard, but it smells really gross.

I used to have the same problem. Now I use Herbal Essences None of Your Frizzness shampoo and conditioner and Sunsilk Anti-Static spray and it helps a lot. Also, clean out your brush every week or so and switch to a silk or satin pillowcase.

can anyone give me links to cute CASUAL dresses (like ones i can wear to school) that i can wear with leggings?

THANKS!!

EDIT:
There was no need for such rude feedback (not to mention grammar). If you're talking about actual fashion, no, they're not fashionable anymore. Colored tights are, but not leggings. The whole 80's-revival thing is dead. Now, if you're like 13, maybe all the girls at your school wear them (especially if you live in the midwest or south, which tends to have trends more slowly). But that doesn't mean they're fashionable. Where I live (CA), they were popular my freshman year. I'm a senior now, and you can't even find them in stores. I was only trying to help you, because they have a tendency to make girls' calves look really big, and they make lines under dresses. But if you want to act immature, that's your problem, not mine.

I wouldn't recommend leggings (they're not flattering or fashionable...not that the second matters), but here are some cute dresses:

- http://www.roxy.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2911712&cp=2818165.2818097&pg=4&view=all&fbx=0&camp=psdid&fbd=Taxonomy%7CSki+Bindings&fbn=Taxonomy%7CDresses&searchSort=TRUE&f=Taxonomy%2FROXY%2F2818097&fbc=1&fr=StorePrice%2FROXY%2F00000000%2F00002500&s=A-StorePrice-ROXY&parentPage=family
- http://www.roxy.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2911727&cp=2818165.2818097&pg=4&view=all&fbx=0&camp=psdid&fbd=Taxonomy%7CSki+Bindings&fbn=Taxonomy%7CDresses&searchSort=TRUE&f=Taxonomy%2FROXY%2F2818097&fbc=1&fr=StorePrice%2FROXY%2F00000000%2F00002500&s=A-StorePrice-ROXY&parentPage=family
- http://www.roxy.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2911721&cp=2818165.2818097&pg=4&view=all&fbx=0&camp=psdid&fbd=Taxonomy%7CSki+Bindings&fbn=Taxonomy%7CDresses&searchSort=TRUE&f=Taxonomy%2FROXY%2F2818097&fbc=1&fr=StorePrice%2FROXY%2F00000000%2F00002500&s=A-StorePrice-ROXY&parentPage=family
- http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2964564/0~2378467~2378483~2377032~6008190?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6008190&P=1
- http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/product.jsp?categoryId=104&subCategoryId=124&productId=9469
- http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/product.jsp?categoryId=104&subCategoryId=189&productId=9143

so yesterday on trl, the jonas brothers were number 10, but they had the most video views and highest voting.

then mtv put the comments for the video at -30,000 which isnt even possible

so all of the jonas brothers fans went to MTV at 9pm and commented like crazy and got the comments up to 7,500 but now they are going down again!

how is this possible?

I'll be honest with you, MTV is pretty much rigged. I watched a documentary on it (god I sound like a nerd). Basically the reason it started was to show promotional videos for artists, and it evolved from there. In case you hadn't noticed, everything is pretty much commercial based- like the upcoming dating show When Spicy Meets Sweet, which is basically run by the people behind Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos.

It's no secret that they control the order of their videos...remember Valentine's Day week? Step Up 2 came out and they did a feature on it...and, surprise, surprise, "Low", the featured song on the soundtrack was the number 1 video. I'm sorry, but that song and video are OLD and there's no way in hell it's number 1.

My advice: try to cut down on your MTV (and Vh1 for that matter). Or at least don't take it so seriously. If you love music videos, go to launchcast.com. You can watch whatever video you watch, whenever you want, as many times as you want. And they have a Top 100, too, that you can definitely influence. Besides, MTV only shows you part of the video, which is really annoying. You want the show for half an hour just to see 30 seconds of your favorite song...what's the point?

i'm turning 18 so this summer me and my friends are going on vacation together. we are looking for some beaches that are also near a lot of nightlife with things to do. can anyone give me any good ideas on where to go?

Long Beach Island (specifically Beach Haven) off the East Coast is amazing. My favorite vacation spot ever.

So your on a date and its extremly horrible. Whats a legit excuse to leave?

Best idea is to have a backup plan. Have a friend you can text with a code, and they'll call you and pretend it's an emergency. Or just tell someone to call you halfway through the date, and then you can pretend something came up.
Best idea is not to fake something huge like a death, though. Maybe a minor illness, or, better, a friend's breakup. You could also say you're not feeling well.

A family friend of ours recently had a baby, and she sent us pictures of her and the baby.

In the picture, she's holding the baby and she still has her huge belly. She only sent us three, but in the other two she has her belly back, except maybe she had a little one, it was hard to tell.

How come the belly doesn't go away? I mean, the baby's gone, the placenta (hopefully), is gone, too, so why is the belly still there?

In her big belly picture she was standing and she looked ok, I mean you could tell that it was probably a day or so after she gave birth.

Just wondering.

People gain wait when they get pregnant, some people up to sixty pounds. It's not just the baby and placenta that make your belly big- it's mostly just weight you gain, and it takes a while to lose.

Sorry this is a book. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. He is my first big relationship (I'm 28 and he's 25) and I am completely in love with him. This past Wednesday night (the night before Valentine's Day... can you say PRESSURE?), I really screwed up. He was out with his best friend, and was going to call me when he was on his way back home to meet me, but for some reason I panicked and started over-dialing. I called him three times between 8pm and 9pm and then 5 more times between 9 and 11. I left a total of 5 messages which got increasingly bitchy, and also called his roommate 3 times to see if he'd gotten home and forgotten to call. I know this could have all been avoided if I had just called him once and let it be, or if he had picked up his phone after the first call, but I started having a panic attack and freaked. Needless to say, he's furious with me and hasn't spoken to me since we met for a brief period on Thursday so I could try to explain myself. He told me at that time that he was considering breaking up with me, but that we'd have dinner on Sunday night (tonight), and we'd try to work things out. I'm beating myself up, because I know I screwed up and don't know how to fix it. And now I desperately afraid he's just going to leave me hanging. I'm afraid his best friend has convinced him to dump me (she's mad at me too), and I'm pissed at myself for having a big mouth about it and talking to people that we mutually know (they asked because I look like hell) about the situation. I'm also upset on top of all of this because I just started seeing a therapist to try and work on my anxiety issues. But I still basically took all of the personal space we had between one another and threw it out the window. I don't want to lose him. He's my best friend, my anchor, the person I trust and love most outside my immediate family. What do I do? How can I mend this? I feel like my heart is broken. Thanks...

Honestly? Yeah, you did something panicky and paranoid. But you're human, yaknow? Girls do things like that all the time, trust me, and not all of em have anxiety issues. I really think he's overreacting a little bit. I mean, it's not like you drove around looking for him. And why didn't he answer his phone? This all sounds a little suspicious to me. What if there had been an emergency and he didn't feel like picking up his phone? And wait a minute...his best friend is a woman and he was out with her and didn't answer his phone?! He sounds just a wee bit controlling to me, and again, the whole thing is a lil bit fishy. But if you really do love him, here's what you have to do...

Does he know that you've started seeing a therapist? Does he know that you have anxiety issues? Does he know you had a panic attack and understand how hard they are to control? Maybe explaining it to him would help. Whether it's an email, a note, or a voicemail, you need to tell him a few basic things:
- You realize what you did was wrong. (Don't mention what I said in the first paragraph.)
- You're sorry.
- You realize you have a problem with anxiety and are seeking help.
- You had a panic attack. Explain to him what that means.
- You don't want to lose your relationship because of your anxiety.
Leave it at that, and see what he does from there.

What would be the best way to hide the fact that you smoke from your parents?
I've gotten away with it for like 5 months, but I'm worried that they'll find out and freak.
I mean I always have a lighter in my bag...and my dad knows, he doesn't give a shit. But if my mom found out she would kill me.
Well my dad knows that I smoke, but he pretends that he doesn't...so yeah.
I usually stay in a t-shirt when I'm smoking, and then after put on a hoodie and/or a jacket. Then I chew gum or eat mints and spray some axe around.
I have also found a solution to the finger smelling problem, I put some rosy shit lipbalm on my fingers and then they smell like ''soap''

But I need some better methods as my mom is getting suspicious since I use a can of deodorant a week or so.

Thanks dudes.
m//15

Btw...I don't want no lectures about how bad this is for me.

I'm trying to do the same thing.

First of all, keep your cigs and lighter on you at all times. Because I used to keep them in my school bag, but then I left it downstairs for like five minutes, and she found them, broke them all, and threw them out. They're less likely to search your pockets- unless you take your jacket off or something.

I change clothes if I can. Or, at work, I'll wear my work shirt (goes over clothes) out to smoke so it's the only thing that smells like it. (I used to have a hoodie that I'd wear just for smoking) For the finger, try Purell or washing your hands with Dawn.

Try eating something small afterwards, since sometimes gum or mints won't work. Also try BreathRX mints, they work really, really well.

I also use baby powder if my hair smells like it.

And for God's sake, don't smoke in the house. That's a duh, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway.

Also, avoid the Axe! First of all, it smells FOUL, girls can smell it from a mile away. Secondly, it's a dead giveaway. My mom would get suspicious whenever I smelled like perfume.

Good luck.

I never noticed it, but my mom pointed out that I rip the hair out of my head and arms. I don't know what's wrong with me. She says I do it all the time, not just when I'm stressed. I haven't noticed any bald spots..yet. Does anyone know what's wrong or what I could do about it?

It's hard to make a diagnoses over the internet but I'll try...

It sounds like you have an actual disease. Now, I'm going to sound like an idiot, but I cannot for the life of me remember what exactly it's called. I know it starts with trillo and ends with mania, with maybe something in between. (Okay, I sound like a complete moron now, but whatever). Oprah did a show on it and it was in Seventeen magazine. For whatever reason, this disease causes people to quite literally tear their hair out. There are no known cures but therapy can help.

You should see a medical professional right away. The girl on the Oprah show went through years of being miserable, trying to cover it with weaves and wigs, before her family convinced her to seek therapy. Please, don't let that happen to you. Believe me, it will only get worse.

does anyone know any song/ lyrics that kind of explain someone you are dating that you want to change everyones mind about?

anything will help.

"So What?"- Ciara
"Crazy"- Kevin Federline feat Britney (i know...)

which one is better for movies subscription?

Definitely Netflix. They have so many movies, the price is good, and they ship them right away. I love Netflix...

where can you buy diet pills besides the internet?
like a local wallgreens cvs or something?? maybe tom thumb kroger? i am clueless

i really want to get the diet pill venom or hydroxycut .. whichever is easier to get

thanks for the help :)

I will answer your question: yes, drugstores sell them.

But I have taken them before and it was horrible. I took the recommended dose, starting on a Friday. Saturday I had heart palpitations (my heart was beating really, really fast, I couldn't breathe, and I felt like I was gonna pass out) and got sent home from my work. I spent all of Sunday throwing up. Seriously, that crap doesn't work and if you have a bad reaction it can be very, very dangerous.
And there's the fact that you can't buy them if you're under 18,

Yeah, I've spent agggeeess trying to find out what song is playing in mean girls when Lindsay/Cady is at the Hallowe'en party.
It's like the one with the female singer..
any help?
:P

Thanks!

I'm pretty sure that it's "Pass That Dutch" by Missy Elliott.

do you know when the superbowl is on today? and what channel?

This is too late now...but you are a perfect example of a question that could be googled. Not trying to be rude, but hello, tvguide.com. Or ask someone who lives in your time zone.

whats so great about the superbowl?

The commercials, the game (if you like football), but mostly it's just an opportunity to socialize with family and friends. In other words, the parties. And the food.

I have been underweight for awhile now. I used to do strict dieting and could be considered anorexic, but I haven't been hungry in awhile. I eat every 3 hours [breakfast, lunch, and dinner with snacks inbetween] and I eat whenever I do feel hungry. The problem is I haven't been gaining weight like I should be. I do not like eating fatty foods. That seems to be my main problem. Is there any way I can gain weight without having to eat foods high in fat? I get enough calories in a day, but I have a fast metabolism. I probably take in about 1500-1600 calories without exercising. Should I increase that even more? Is there something I'm doing wrong? Any ideas/opinions?? Thanks!!

You seriously need to see a doctor. They can help you better than a group of teenagers on the internet. And the whole fatty foods thing...you definitely sound at risk for an eating disorder. You simply have to eat fat to gain weight.

Have lots of milkshakes and smoothies (Jamba Juice will work well if you have one near you) and try Ensure nutritional shakes, available at drugstores.

And by the way, 1500 calories a day is what people eat when they're on a diet- i.e., not nearly enough.

Hey!
I know this is suuuupppperrr weird, but I was thinking last night, I'm from canada and we pronounce the letter z "zed" and in America, they pronounce it "zee" so it got me wondering, how do they pronounce the letter in other places that use the english alphabet like Australia and the UK. If you're from there (or somewhere else that uses the english alphabet)let me know how you pronounce it.
Thanks!!

Not sure bout that...but chances are you say "Zed" because they are french-speaking people in canada...and that's how you say "z" in the french alphabet. Just an idea, though.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>