The_MoUsY_spell_checker's Advice Column

Hi there,

I vaguely remember you mentioning living in Japan at one time, or so I thought. Do you speak Japanese, or know any users here that do?

If yes on either count, please have a look at these:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=592631
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=592632
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=592635

... if you don't mind.

Thank you either way. Sorry to bother you if I was mistaken.

I have never lived in Japan, but I can read some Japanese. I'll have a go at these questions.
View Question

When I was little me and my neighbors and my older sister would allways pretend and play games like house and like highschool kids and just word fun games.. My older neighbors and sister told me that we are going to stop playing those kid of games they said it's time to move on( but like allways on the side I had my own pretend games owing on by myself) anyways they were like freshman nd sophomores and I was in 7 th at that time when we all stopped but now I'm 15 and when I get bored or think of some fun plot I play pretend like highschool life only I pretend I'm dimwit different but better why do I do this still?? Because I'm thinking it might because I'm not happy with reality please help share opinions!

You didn't say what it is in reality that you are not happy with, so there isn't anything I can say about it, but I hope you can figure out what it is and work through it.

People will have opinions and there's nothing you can do about that, but what you do for fun in your spare time is none of anyone else's business as long as you're not hurting anyone.

If you like pretend games, you might find company in roleplaying communities. For example, try Gaia Online, or search for another one.

I noticed when I was viewing my Facebook profile through "friends of friends" that my photo albums were not visible to them. I went in my photo album privacy and my photo albums were already selected for "everyone" I went to the facebook help page and it said this.

http://tinypic.com/r/w1qjpd/7

then I tried doing that, but the photos application doesn't show up. (Sorry I wanted to blur out some apps due to privacy reasons)

http://tinypic.com/r/veoe8z/7

So I'm really confused as to what I do because I type in photos in the search bar and it directs me to the page of friends who have uploaded recent photo albums there is no "setting" in that page. I hope this all makes sense :/ but I would really appreciate it if someone helped me
Also, I noticed through my friends of friends profile that the box where you can put a quote or something your passionate about "peace, love, happiness" etc is also not visible to friends of friends. How do I make that visible also??

Facebook allows you to have different privacy settings for each album. You can do so on this page: http://www.facebook.com/privacy/?view=photos

As for quotations, go to http://www.facebook.com/settings/?tab=privacy , click "Customise settings", and change the setting for "Bio and favorite quotations" to "Friends of friends".
View Question

I'm a 17 year old girl, and nobody invited me to anything, though there were many parties this weekend.

If this makes me a loser, what can I do to get invited to more parties and everything? I have only been to 3-4 parties throughout high school, and I'll be a senior next year! :( I'm not un-fun or ugly or anything.. I don't understand why I don't get invited to anything. Its not like parties don't go on. Now I'm a new girl and school and people have been nice to me at school, but nobody has invited me to hang out. I was the one who invited a girl to a free concert, I was the girl who organized to go to another concert with a group of other people. I feel so alone. Even my old friends, who were already distant when I lived in the same town as them, are more distant. So I'm pretty much alone. I have better friends online than I do IRL. Why is this? I'm usually an upbeat, happy person, and hide my negative feelings very well. I even hide them from myself a lot, unless I'm being real with myself like this. School has sucked since 4th grade, and that says a lot. I don't know whether its because I'm black and live in a town with mostly whites? And because I don't fit the "black" stereotype so blacks don't fully accept me enough to want to hang out outside of school? In my entire life I've only hung out with 3 friends at their houses.. 2 of them combined, less than 5 times, while 1 of them I've been to her house less than 20 times, and we've been close since 1st grade. I think she was the closest I've ever had to a best friend but we still were pretty different people. I dont seem to fit in any group, and I dont want to. I want friends all across the board. But everyone I meet now is just acquaintances and I hate it

Yes this whole question has changed.. ugh. But why am I such fail??? I'm a very good friend and don't backstab or anything like that.. yet backstabbing girls are the ones who always seem to have the most friends. I don't understand it all

Not being invited to parties doesn't mean there's anything bad about you. Just because people like you in the sense that they think you're a nice person doesn't mean that they will find you compatible as a close friend.

I didn't have many friends when I was in high school either. I'm now in my 4th year at university, and I have many more friends. Sometimes, I would meet people who have common interests with me, hang out with them, and realise that while they are nice people, I just don't connect with them. Similarly, even people who think you are a nice person might not feel they connect with you.

If you want more friends, try looking for specific interest groups in your area. For example, Meetup is a good place to meet people. http://www.meetup.com/ (Be warned that the people on this site are probably significantly older than you though. I'm 21, and I'm usually a token youngster in these groups. This is more an example for illustrating my point.)
View Question

One of my best friends is a senior (3 years older than me) and he is bisexual (it changes everyday - it's kind of weird). I've been spending a lot of time with him lately, and I've realized that I grew a little crush on him (I'm a girl). Is it weird?

There's nothing weird about having a crush on a friend.

It is your decision whether to do anything about this crush.

If he is bisexual, it should not be significant because it would mean that he is at least somewhat interested in girls, and the fact that he is also interested in guys is not relevant. The most important point is whether he likes YOU.

Also consider other practical factors. Are you willing to risk potentially damaging your friendship if he doesn't like you back? If you are still in school, a 3-year age difference can be significant, and you might be better off as friends.
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I'm 25 and I've never had my first kiss with a guy yet. It never did bother me until recently when my friend found out and she was pretty shocked. I'm a pretty girl and take care of my body but I guess I'm just not a "people person" and haven't seriously dated or been seriously interested in someone. Is something wrong with me?

If it doesn't bother you, there's nothing wrong with it.

People will have their opinions and you can't stop that, but it's none of your friend's business.

You are not alone. I'm not interested in dating either.

(Then again, I'm aromantic and asexual. You can find more information about asexuality on AVEN. http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html)
View Question

I just started a website called "Teensy Triumphs".

Users basically just drop by to share an accomplishment and to support that of others.

here is the link: http://teensytriumphs.yolasite.com/#/

do you think it's a good concept?
how can I improve?
Also, feel free to post on the forum :)

I like the idea. It's just like Gives Me Hope, FML, and some others. Your site might just becaome as famous as one of those. Why don't you start off by posting some of your own triumphs?
View Question

Okay, so let's start by saying I'm 20/F..

So, recently I have learned that my best friend's brother has a girlfriend, which is weird in itself if you knew him. I've honestly never imagined him dating anyone. And.. well I'm a bit confused because I'm not sure if I could have feelings for him, or I just think I do because he has a gf now. I've known him for so long, I was actually friends with him before I was friends with my best friend. I mean I know the whole family and they are all so great.. but anyways I don't know what I'm feeling.. like do i like him? or am i just feeling fake feelings because he has a gf? ahhh I'm so confused.

People aren't always quite what they seem. Dating is a very commonly done thing, so it really shouldn't be that much of a surprise.

(That said, I'm glad to know that you have considered that some people might not date at all. Just because most people date doesn't mean that everyone wants to do so.)

Only you can tell what you're feeling, but regardless of how you feel, he has a girlfriend now, and you will need to respect that. Stay away from him for a while. It might help your feelings settle down.
View Question

13/f
i have dark brown eyes...i hate them...people always tell me that they love the way my eyes look..but ive ALWAYS wanted green eyes...i am a total sucker for those ;D ok..so the question is...do guys like a brown eyed girls? and do i look okay with my eyes and hair?...p.s i have long dark brown hair with like...light brown highlights i guess..and swooped bangs...o and how come -in my opinoin- guys NEVER fall for the brunette with the brown eyes??....hehe sorry theres so many questions

At least one (if not both) of your parents have brown eyes, right? They met each other, so there's someone who likes brown eyes. They're not the only ones. Chances are that some day you will meet someone who loves you too.

Any eye/hair colour can look good. Have confidence in yourself, and take care.
View Question

I just started having my periods like 3 months ago and I was wondering if that means my cherry has popped? I read when your cherry pops that you bleed. Does that mean my cherry is popped since I bleed every month or what? My best friend wanted to know if my cherry was popped and I was confused because I never really thought about it but I guess it is since I get my period now and I'm a woman now. Thanks

In most women, the hymen does not completely cover the vaginal opening. There are holes to allow menstrual blood to flow through.

Some activities (such as sex or exercise) can cause tears in the hymen, which can cause bleeding. However, "popping one's cherry" generally only refers to losing one's virginity, regardless of the status of the hymen or if bleeding occurs.

Note that the status of the hymen is not a conclusive proof of virginity. It is possible to have tears from activities other than sex, and some women are born without one.
View Question

My mom always wants to plan my parties. And I really hate her ideas do you have and idea on what kind of party i shuld have and how i sould telll my mom i dont want her stupid ideas?

First of all, don't tell your mum that her ideas are stupid. You may well think they are, but keep in mind that she's trying to help. She is not you. She does not know what you are thinking.

Come up with your own ideas and tell her what you want. The best ideas for you will be the ones you have for yourself.
View Question

I downloaded iTunes 10 this morning and for some reason it wont let you drag and drop songs to copy from one ipod to another like older versions used to. It wont even let you copy and paste a song from one ipod into a folder on the computer.
How on earth do i work this thing?!

Connect iPod to computer, then open iTunes.

In iTunes, click your iPod, and make sure the box next to "Enable disk use" is checked, then look at the iPod in your file browser.

When the iPod is connected to your computer, you should be able to see it on your desktop. From there, you should be able to explore its contents. The music is in the iPod under iPod_Control/Music.
View Question

hello,
i am 24 in age, and having 5.4" height. is it possible for me to gain 2 inch of height more. i heard of yoko height increaser a japanese technology do this effect the height

According to the YOKO site, the device is meant to promote growth by stimulating nerve points on the soles of the feet. This is known as reflexology, and it has no scientific basis, so don't count on it.

It is possible to keep growing taller at least until one is 25 or so. Being healthy is very important to growth. So make sure you eat well (this is not a good time to restrict your energy intake), get enough sleep, and do a lot of exercise.

That said, genetics play a strong part in height too. If most of your family members are short, chances are that you will be too.
View Question

if you drink cold water does it speed up your metabolism

No, it doesn't.

Theoretically, drinking cold water means that your body will use up energy to warm the water up to your body temperature, but it won't be enough to help you lose weight.

However, if you are attempting to lose weight, drink water rather than other drinks, because it has no calories.
View Question

Ok maybe I'm. Not explaining my self to people right but here's. The problem and if you don't agree then o well .I have this problem with people useing there cell phone while they are driving because they aren't awhere of what they are doing . They are paying attention to there phone not the road or the people around them and multi tasking isn't there either they will cut you off won't use a blinker to indicate that they are changing lanes or exiting .Its either they are talking on the phone or texting so I call it DWC driving with cell phone and it makes me mad almost to road rage mad and how many times do I see this ? Every day .iv been cut off so many times and iv got rear endeed once because of cell phone use the guy that hit me from behinde was texting cause I seen him in my rear view mirror and my insurance gon up because this ass hole on his cell phone .So I hate people using there phone while driving .there should be a law in texas .no phone zone everywhere and if I ws a cop I would be writting tickets like crazzy all day long. So am I wrong for this .anybody out there just let me know and for those of you that use cell phones while driving well ????

I agree with you that people should not use their phones while driving.

Unfortunately, according to this page,
http://www.ghsa.org/html/stateinfo/laws/cellphone_laws.html, in Texas, it is only illegal for school bus drivers and novice drivers to use mobile phones, meaning that most drivers are actually allowed to use their phones while driving. That's worrying.

That said, the presence of a law does not necessarily equal enforcement. Where I live, there is a law against using mobile phones (other than hands-free) while driving, but unless a serious collision occurs, there isn't anything the police can do about it, so people who drive badly because they're distracted by a phone will get away with it.
View Question

I heard that if you don't drink a lot of water when you're having your period then it will end sooner. Is that true? And, if it is true, how much should I drink (or not drink) to make sure my period ends faster?

No, it's not true. A period is when the lining of the uterus is discharged. By the time you're having the period, the lining is already formed, and drinking more or less water will not affect it. It is important to drink enough water, but drinking more than you need is not going to benefit you.
View Question

I like Gatorade sports drink. They taste good and it says it has electrolytes in it for you body to work better. Is it bad to drink Gatorade every day though? I don't want to be unhealthy and my mom said drinking Gatorade every single day is not exactly healthy. I mean, is Gatorade even bad for you though if you drink it everyday?

Sports drinks tend to contain a lot of sugar, so yes, drinking too much is bad for you.

They are a convenient way to replenish electrolytes, but unless you're actually doing strenuous exercise, you don't need it.
View Question

Girls,
how do you wash your vaginas?

When a guy goes down on me or fingers me, I'm always self-conscious that he thinks it smells or something.

Normal showering will do. There is no need for special products.

Like the other columnist has already said, douching can be harmful.
View Question

Can you fix your facebook wall so that only certain people can write on it? One of my friends... or acquaintances, had a birthday today and it showed on the news feed that people had written on his wall, and what they wrote.

But when I clicked the link that said "write on his wall" it took me to his profile, but his wall wasn't there... but others had written on it. However, the tab doesn't show up when i'm on his profile.

Is he just blocking me? Or can you fix it where you choose what people can write on your wall?

Yes, it is possible to block people from seeing specific parts of one's profile, including the wall.

The setting is "Posts by me" under "Things I share" in Privacy Settings.

Note that you can change the privacy settings for individual posts by clicking the lock icon next to the "Share" button.
View Question

I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.

I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?

Sorry if this is too long!

Honesty is very important in a relationship. If he can't be honest with you, you shouldn't stay with him.

While you're at it, report him to Facebook to have the group shut down.
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