I'll give advice to anyone I think I can help in any way. Ask away.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student/ General Know-It-All
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2005
Answers: 297
Last Update: January 22, 2011
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okay so this boy i really love just wants me to send pictured of my boobs . i dont want to but i told him that and he just got all mad i told him that i honestly love him for him he doesnt love me for me but he doesnt care hes telling people my secrets! what do i do? helppp (link)
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I'm guessing you know the answer to this but just need it reinforced, so here goes:
Get him out of your life right now until he's grown up. And do not send him a picture of your boobs. Ever.
If he doesn't like you and is telling people your secrets 1) don't tell him any more and 2) what possible purpose is he serving in your life?
None, zero, zilch, rien. *sings* you deserrvee betterrrr
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Hey you answered this question for me:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=437744
and you gave great advice, but I wasn't much before him, I wasnt happy. I had a few friends but not alot. He made me so happy you know. We talked about being together forever and I know its sounds corny but we ment it. He just gets deffensive really quickly, or upset quick. I know he has a bad temper and I accept it but he has never screamed at me like that, I was so shocked. It really got me worried, not about our relationship but him. You have no idea how much he means to me. I broke up with him once before for a silly reason, it was along time ago. But I called right back we talked out the problem and then we got back together. Everyone knew we were together and they thought we were the perfect couple. I thought we were too. How can I stay distant from someone who has been my life. I feel like I have nothing left, like a huge chunk of me has been lost. And still instead of worrying about myself I am here worried about how he is how he feels when he will call. Its crazy how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the tiny pieces you have left of it.
Please help me, I want him back, and if I really cant I know I will never be with another guy. I am not over reacting. He really was my everything, we both lost or virginity to eachother. He was always there for me. I helped him through some of the hardest times he has gone threw and now this happens. It doesnt make any sense. I should just become a nun. The hottest, smartest, nicest guy in the world could ask me out and I would say no. If I were to kiss a guy now I would still feel like I am cheating, I know that doesnt make sense but yea. He really is my everything there has to be something I can do! Instead of just waiting. Waiting is so horrible its the worst torture anyone can put you through! Knowing something is wrong and theres nothing you can do but wait.
Please help, what do I do? (link)
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Yeah honey I honestly know exactly what you mean. If it's the not knowing part that's getting to you then i guess you've nothing to lose by talking to him if you can be strong enough to say that you love him with all your heart and care so much about his happiness BUT you won't be treated like that.
Try calling him but only to arrange to meet on neutral turf- don't do this discussion over the phone, it's so much harder to read someone just by talk and things get misinterpreted. When you do actually sit and talk about this leave the getting back together issue aside as best you can and just try to get some answers about the root of this problem, what it was that made him fly off the handle and ask him to be specific. I'm guessing this screaming fit has been building up for a while and didn't just come on at this one thing if he's any kind of rational being. Only once you've got to the bottom of it can you guys really decide if it's possible or helpful to carry on with your relationship. I know it's hard but try thinking about it as rationally as possible. You may adore him but can you genuinely make it work with him so you're both happy and secure?
Even having said all this and whether you get back together or not I still say you should try to get to know yourself a bitand learn how capable you are by yourself even if only because relationships work best when you know you'd be ok even if it fell apart. That way you're making a choice to be with the person rather than simply not knowing how to be any other way.
And if your relationship does end here i promise you really will be ok and that when you're ready you will be able to love someone else.
Let me know how it goes x
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Please help me I got dumped two days ago and i dont know why. Everything was going great but then we got into a small arguement. I told him I was going to the mall with my friend he said ok but to call back and tell him which mall. I was angry at the time so I didn't call. I was going to, but then we passed by his house and he looked busy with the backyard, so I didn't call. He called me screaming saying "thanks for calling!" He was so mad and argued with me for a long itme. He kept calling back and screaming stuff, I even said sorry but he wouldnt stop he said that we were never going to stop arguing and that the relationship would never work. But everything was going great, sure we argue sometimes but we always resolve it by compromising or apologizing. Anyway he said if I didnt care about his feelings that I should break up with him. I told him he was overreacting, to calm down and stop screaming. He said that by now he has the right to scream at me and that he is sick of me so I told him fine if your so sick of me than you break up with me. Then he screamed ITS OVER!
I dont understand how this happened, it was all so quickly. Me and him were soooo close. Are two year anniversary was coming up. I dont know what went wrong. I apoligzed and it was like he went all psyco. Please help me I cant sleep at night I have to take Nyquil to knock me out. I loved him so much, I thought he loved me too. My mom has told me not to call him, she says if he broke up with me and he is sorry and really loves me he has to be the one to call back otherwise he is not worth it. I know thats true but I just miss him so much I dont think I could take one more day without him. We spent all our extra time together, We stoped hanging out with our friends. We were eachothers best friend, atleast I thought so but during the arguement he said that I dont even act like girl friend anymore. I feel so bad I dont know what I did that was so wrong. PLEASE HELP ME any advice would do, I just cant take this anymore, its driving me crazy. (link)
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ok lady listen up, this relationship does not sound like it was really good for you even when it was going right "we spent all our extra time together", "we stopped hanging out with our friends", NOT GOOD. I know it's an easy trap to fall in to at the beginning of a new relationship but for two years makes it sound like this relationship was more than a tad possessive.
It sounds like the reason he flipped out is because you went somewhere to hang out with a friend of yours and he couldn't keep tabs on you at all times and if he's going to go this nuts about something so tiny now, imagine what it would be like another two years down the road. Sounds to me like you had a lucky escape, however hard it is to see that now.
If you feel you need some answers from him, give it a while before you talk. Start hanging out with other friends again and let them take your mind off him. Only answer the phone/call him when you're in a less emotional head space and can avoid being emotionally blackmailed. Because if it's all about this incident, you did nothing that was so wrong and his reaction should set alarm bells ringing in your head.
I understand you love him and that it's going to be hard but the best advice i can give is get some distance and try remembering who you were and are without him. I think you'll find that person will end up a lot happier than the one tied to him right now.
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14|Female...For about two years ever since I found out my dad cheated on my mom...my life has been completely different, i use to feel really confident about my body but now i dont, i feel over weight and ugly (even though im 89lbs)I also have really bad trust issues now..I dont want to be like this anymore I want the old me back, My mom says the best way is for me to talk to someone about it but I cant talk to her because I know that it will upset her about the dad thing and I cant talk to my older sister because she will think im just going through some teenage stage...my mom suggested I see a therapist but i dont know if I want to or not because it just seems weird telling a stranger my feelings...and also I know they cost alot of money so I dont want to just waste money if I am going through a teenage stage but I dont think it is just a teenage stage...Im just really scared I am going to do something crazy if I dont tell people how I feel. So my question is...should I see a therapist or not? (link)
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First of all finding out that your dad, the one man you are supposed to be able to trust and look up to, has betrayed both your mum's and your trust is going to hit anyone hard and make you doubt people and yourself. If you can't trust you dad who can you etc, and that's totally normal not something to be written off as a "stage".
Having said that it's not something you should have to just cope with alone and if you can't talk to anyone you know about it, a stranger's worth a shot. You've really nothing to lose by trying out therapy. Perhaps go round and meet a few therapists before signing up to any one to try to find someone you feel comfortable with.
Bear in mind though that a therapist is just a face and body to listen and it would probably be a whole lot better to talk to your mum or sister in the long run as they are the people who genuinely love you and care about what you think. Even if it upsets your mum she'd probably rather feel you could talk to her and your sister may be more sympathetic than you think being in basically the same situation as you.
I really feel for you on this one. Talking to anyone is better than no-one at all
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There's this guy John that i met at camp last year
He was such a sweetheart, and so funny!
At the time, i was going out with a guy Steve...
and John liked my friend Laura...
but Laura was 4 years older, and had a boyfriend.
So this year.. i saw john again.
Same sweet guy..
except.. so much hotter! whoo!
So.. we're talking like best friends always do..
and he is putting his face really close to mine..
like, our foreheads are touching as a "joke"
But.. then he held my hand, in a "friendly" way..
So our hands are clasped together.
Everytime we sit next to eachother..
(wich is always..cus everytime i sit down, he sits next to me.)
he holds my hand,
but now he holds my hand so that it's laced in his
and holds our hands on top of our legs.. (cus their usually touching)
Then today he put his arm around my waist and puts his face really close to mine again and looked so deep into my eyes
i also always see him looking at me
When we hold hands.. people say "are you two going out?"
and he doesnt answer.. so i always have to say "nope"
and then they say "so why are you holding hands???"
and John says either "maybe we want to.." or "cause"
My heart races everytime we even hold hands..
i feel so warm when he does
like a warm rush of blood through my body
wich is crazy.. cus its just holding hands..barely anything.. but with him.. its like EVERYTHING. i always wish i wa holding his hands right now.. or him holding me.. but why?
My friend Shannon mouthed to him "do you like her?"..
pointing to me...
and i saw him nod his head yes
ah! whats going on?!
do you think he does like me?
Do you think i shud go out with him?
Do i love him..??? whooah.
So0o0o0o Confusiing!!...
XoXo.. Lexie (link)
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!! In situations like this I always want to bang both of their heads together or just lock them in a dark room and let nature take its course.
Yes he likes you, yes you shuold go out with him, who knows if you love him except you and I'm willing to bet all these facts are clear as day to everyone else around you and you are driving your friends insane!
This is very sweet but goddamn just ask him out already! He'll be more eager than a drunk puppy.
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Okay this boy just asked me out and I said yes. I'm 13 and I'm in 7th grade and he's 17 and he's in 9th grade. That's a 4 years age difference so I'm not sure if I should keep going out with him what do you think? I know he loves me he said he said he will respect me and he doesn't care how old I am. He doesnt want you know what, and he's really sweet. I'm sure he really likes me. What do you think of this? (link)
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If he's not pressuring you into sex and respecting the fact you're in school and whatnot and, most importantly, you are comfortable and happy with the situation then it's pretty unusual but not necessarily a huge problem. Some 13 years olds mature quickly and some 17 year olds are still quite young in themselves so if that's the case it's not all that weird.
Be a little careful until you are sure you can trust him and introduce him to your parents as soon as possible to avoid them freaking out and also giving you someone else to look out for you. We haven't met this guy buut listen to your parent's opinion of him. Though they can go overboard being protective sometimes, they have your best interests at heart and are, shock horror, usually right about boyfriends.
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okay well i was randomly thinking back to the 90's haha and i was wondering if anyone knew what that magic sand that you could put in water and then grab some out of the water and it would come out completely dry? anyone know the name of it im interested in buying some. thanks!
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not sure about a product as such but it souns kind of like your describing Cornflour. Similar thing.
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hey! i had sex for the first time last week. We were safe as i am on the pill and we used a condom. I was just wondering if i should go see the doctor now i have had sex? I heard i would need a smear test or something? also if i do need to go should i go straight away or can i wait?
thanks 15/f/uk (link)
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No need to go unless you think something's gone wrong. Smear tests usually don't start until you're around 25 but if you have any worries about anything at all your doc will be more than happy to help/talk to you. Most wish more girls took care of themselves the way you clearly do.
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okay..so there's this guy that i've sorta always liked..and we dated at this beginning of this year but we broke up after like two weeks..and he told me a few days ago that he likes me and he wants me to ask him out or something cause he'll have more respect for me..anyways i really dont wanna get hurt like i did last time and i want something that's going to last..and he says that he's tired of being single and he wants a relationship..but i dont know if i should believe him or not. so what do you think i should do?
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he wants you to ask him out because he'll have more respoect for you that way? Sounds like a bit of a muppet. If he wants a relationship with you why hasn't he got his act together and asked you out? If on the other hand he just wants any old "relationship" it's most likely you're ust quite convenient and asking him out rather than the other way around makes it more convenient still, something for him to just fall in to and, yes, probably fall out of again just as quickly as before. Sorry.
Why did you break up before? Just because he was flaky or some bigger reason? Either way, has anything changed?
I know it's the answer everyone gives but if you really think it's worth a shot ya need to talk talk talk. If he or you can't talk properly and openly about this then I really wouldn't bother getting in to this again because you will get your heart bruised. Again. As the ol' saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me".
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Myself and my fiance are 26 and I have a 2 1/2 year old from a previous relationship. We have been together for 1 1/2 years and engaged for 1. Last week my fiance had a couple of friends that were looking for an apartment to live in. They are supposed to be moving into the ones where we live. Without asking me, Josh invited them to stay with us until their apartment is ready. It has been almost a week now since they came to stay. It made me really angry that he did not ask me if I cared if they stayed, he just invited them and told me they were staying. I'm upset because I am the one paying all the bills right now because he just finished college and has not found a job yet. Our apartment is really small and was cramped with just our stuff in it. Now our dining room is stuffed with their things and they have taken over our living room too. We only have a couch in our living room because it it tiny. At night after I get home from work I like to make dinner then lay around and watch TV for a while before I go to bed. Since they have been there I don't get to sit on the couch or watch TV. I have been coming home and going to my room to read. Josh gets upset with me because I don't want to sit out there with our "company". I wouldn't mind hanging out with everyone, but when I do sit in my living room I either have to sit on the floor or pull a chair from my dining room to sit on. I feel like my son is getting shorted by them being there too. He is used to having free roam of the house and playing where ever he wants to in the apartment. Now he is confined to his room and can not play anywhere else and when he tries to he gets into trouble for getting into their stuff. Then over the weekend we had a birthday party to go to for my grandmother. I made it clear to Josh the night before that I did not want them in the house while we were gone. When we got ready to leave the next day Josh handed them his keys so they could come and go as they please. It's like my thoughts and opinions don't count anymore. Then when I try to explain to him how I'm feeling he gets angry with me and thinks I'm being rude to them. I like my personal space and I hate it when I don't have it. Right now my space in majorly being invaded. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Josh thinks I'm too controlling on things like this, but I'm tired of being stepped on and used. How can I make him see my point of view before I just get angry with the situation and just kick all 3 of them out so it's just me and my son again? (link)
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Jesus christ I agree with the columnist below- i would have snapped way before this and think you have the patience of a saint. If you and your fiance were sharing the costs of the house that's one thing, (still horribly inconsiderate not to ask you) but you are the sole person supporting all three men and frankly it's taking the piss.
By the sounds of it your fiance is being incredibly unreasonable and you need to get firm. If he's going to act like a petulant child I'm afraid its going to have to be reduced to a stat of treating him like one in that you lay down ground rules for what goes on in your house and the consequences if your wishes are ignored. For example, get these people to set a firm date for when they are leaving; make it clear that if they don't want your son getting into their things they must store them away and that he can play where he pleases; ask them for some rent or money towards basics like food and explain if they can't provide it they will be unable to stay. I'm astounded they've not offered at least a token sum- THAT is rudeness if anything.
You need to find a quiet moment with Josh and ask him to listen to how upset you are without interrupting you. Explain it's not about control but wanting to be respected and listened to by your future husband and in your own home. If what you've said here doesn't cause him to feel guilty or at the very least concern for your feelings I'm afraid it bodes less than well for any future this relationship has and yes, you probably would be far better off kicking all three of them out and letting them bitch and whine about how mean and controlling you are. Any sensible person will sympathise with your position. Unfortunately you can't force someone to see your point of view if they don't really give a damn about seeing it in the first place. If this is the first time something like this has happened try to talk it out but make it clear you won't put up with it. If not you need to have a serious think about whether you can stand for your son and yourself to be sidelined in favour of his buddies like this the rest of your life.
Personally and as an outsider I would far prefer to be single than be disrespected to this extent.
Add on: Bravo,glad it's on its way to being sorted
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How do you learn to love your body? (link)
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Skip the articles in magazines about "How To Lose A Stone In X Days!/ Tone Up For A Fab Summer Body!/Another Insulting Article Disguised With a Peppy Tagline!". It's not the pictures of girls that promote stupid body image is the stupid little digs at confidence in the writing suggesting you're slightly inadequete the way you are.
Get away from all the crap about the "ideal body" and try to take a fresh look at yourself. Focus on the things you like about how you look and treat yourself to clothes/products that you feel good in for no other reason than you deserve it. The more you tell yourself this the better you'll feel and nothing looks better on a person than confidence and happiness.
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Are men put off by stretchmarks? (link)
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Put it this way, if they are they're pretty much never going to get laid unless they date girls with literally no shape. More fool them.
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14.f.
My parents make me go to my grandparents house during the day, because they don't trust me in our house alone.
Well, a few days ago I was reading this book that I have to read for school. I finished the book, and my grandmother asked if she could read it then give it back to me. And I said sure, and gave it to her.
The thing is, I don't know what I was thinking, because the book has SO many cursewords and has sex (gasp) in it. And she's my grandmother...
My mom went over to my grandparents house today just for a visit, and my grandmother said she finished the book, and was concerned about my school, for assigning a book like that. She said she was really surprised about all the cursewords and that I was reading it.
I have to go to their house again all this week. And I am SO embarressed, you have no idea. I'm not sure what my exact question is, just, what do I do?
Does anyone care to be my savior? (link)
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There's no real reason for you to be embarrassed. It's not like you wrote it and it was a book the school, not you, picked. And your grandmother did ask to read it. Schools tend to pick one or two slightly controversial books nowadays, presumably thinking it will keep student's interest better and give them something to relate to so it's not out of the ordinary, though i'd have thought 14 was unusually young to start this sort of thing. Partly because it leads to situations like this. If you were 17/18 there wouldn't be so much fuss.
Even so this really isn't as big a deal as it seems right now, i promise, and if you don't make it into a big thing and just act the same as always it'll blow over a lot quicker.
And maybe stick to bringing books grandma would approve of over to her house.
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Hi yeah i have a little problem my sister is 20 and i am 15 and her boyfriend lets call him tim while they have a 1 year old together but i got the massive hotts for him what should i do ? like they are soul mates but hes danm sexxxie and i dont knoe what to do ? (link)
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Don't do anything. Sisters' boyfriends, especially ones that are the father of her child are waaay off limits and i seriously doubt he'd put his relationship at risk by reciprocating your feelings anyhow. Just quietly enjoy the little crush and scout out any of his younger brothers/friends!
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OK, well, my two best friends will call me out if they think I'm "flirting" with a guy. It doesn't even matter what guy, they will just give me a look and act all mad. They don't even like the guy, since they both have boyfriends. But the problem is that our ideas of flirting are WAY different. Like, they think that striking a conversation up with an ex or playing soccer with a good guy friend is flirting, but I say not really. I need help! I need to know what to do? Should I laugh it off, or just not talk to my guy friends?
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I was about to say the smae as the advicenator below and suggest your friends had a little touch of the green-eyed monster. For a start talking to a guy does not consitute flirting, it's constitutes being a rational, interesting person who has things to say to all kinds of people and even if you flirted with every guy in the land, you're single, why should they care or disapprove?
If they're in relationships the most likely explanation is they envy you lots of male attention that they don't or can't get. Perhaps they even feel ignored by these guys when you're around. Even so this is really not your problem but if they're bugging you you need to ask them what exactly their problem is with you talking to and/or flirting with guys.
The laughing it off policy is best and hopefully they'll get over it one way or another.
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almost a year ago i got a 3year old cot i was so happy but i was not there when my dad brought her home i came home week later to find my cat hateiing me loveing my dad i dont no wat to do because i really want her to like me any suggestions?
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Cats are selfish and will love whoever feeds them both cat food and treats. Become the main provider of food and never the one who bothes her! My two were incredibly fickle on this basis.
Learn when she wants attention (she will come and meow for it) and when she wants to be left alone (watch out for the tail flick) and be careful when picking her up- some cats hate this unless you hold their feet for example so they feel secure.
Really basic things but as I say cats are generally not as daftly loyal as dogs and will latch on to whoever serves their best interests!
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hi im writing a paper on queen and freddie mercury. does anyone have clever ideas for a title? thanks (link)
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Long Live The Queen
:) Just works for me on so many levels. heh.
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alot of people say that fingering feels good.. but whenever i or someone else does that to me ..it doesnt feel good.. is there something wrong with me ? (link)
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Doubtful. Either you're not relaxed and/or comfortable when the guy's doing it or the guys in question have had little good practise. Or you just might not like it which is fine. (quick tip- make sure whoever's doing it has trimmed nails coz that can HURT)
You'll either find someone who makes you comfortable and is good at it who converts you or it'll turn out it's just not your thing. Either way don't sweat it.
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My sister just had a baby and he husband's last name is Wood. Well, my sister has always wanted to name her daughter "Holly". So we just need a few HONEST opinions here.
Do you find it tacky to have a girl named "Holly Wood?" (link)
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lol! Both lovely names on their own but together that's just cruel! Make the middle name Holly if she really likes it so much so you give the poor kid the chance to hide it if she wants to.
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I have a twin sister, and we are 2 minutes apart at birth, me being the eldest. My mom has always stressed to us that favoritism is highly inappropriate and rejected in a parent-child relationship, her being a victim of favoritism herself. But currently, I feel that secretly, my mom favors my sister more, and a lot of times I feel invisible to her. She rarely has time to listen and value my opinion on things, and this has caused us to grow apart.... What can I do to make my mom see and understand how I feel?
Thank you. =)
15/f (link)
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She actually sounds like a pretty perfect person to be able to bring this up with since she experienced it herself. Tell her you're sure you're over-reacting but you want to be honest with her and get some reassurance then cite some examples of times you've felt pushed aside or left out.
Avoid accusations coz it sounds like she'll be pretty sensitive and defensive about it if she's so strongly against it but stress that you'd love to be able to set aside some time each week, even if only a few hours to chat just you and her. Offer to go with her when she goes on the grocery shop or something like that if she's really busy to give you an opportunity to spend time together.
I'm sure she doesn't realise she's doing it and will be really eager to make sure you don't end up feeling the way she did.
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