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Should I see a therapist or not?
14|Female...For about two years ever since I found out my dad cheated on my mom...my life has been completely different, i use to feel really confident about my body but now i dont, i feel over weight and ugly (even though im 89lbs)I also have really bad trust issues now..I dont want to be like this anymore I want the old me back, My mom says the best way is for me to talk to someone about it but I cant talk to her because I know that it will upset her about the dad thing and I cant talk to my older sister because she will think im just going through some teenage stage...my mom suggested I see a therapist but i dont know if I want to or not because it just seems weird telling a stranger my feelings...and also I know they cost alot of money so I dont want to just waste money if I am going through a teenage stage but I dont think it is just a teenage stage...Im just really scared I am going to do something crazy if I dont tell people how I feel. So my question is...should I see a therapist or not?
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Wow screw a tharapist. You need serious help. Your afraid your mom will be upset so your just going to let your dad continue to cheat on her? That's cold. It will be better if you tell your mother rather then let her live a lie. Say that you got married and had a child and they found out your husband was cheating on you and wouldn't tell you I don't think you'd like that. I believe that you are simply feeling guilt and anger. If you tell your mom it would help.
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I would recomind a theripist. I have been seeing a theripist for five years, they help but they can't make you feel any better about your self.
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It sounds like seeing a therapist might be a good idea. Therapy can help with those trust issues and help you to have more self confidence. Also to help raise up your self esteem.
If you are that scared about doing something crazy if you don't talk to someone, then you should talk to someone. If you don't it could lead to bigger problems like stress related, beacuse the more you bottle up your feelings in the end you will get really stressed out. That isn't good. So you should see a therapist to talk out your problems and help you get over them.
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my first answer would be to not go to a therapist. in the past ive found that they can be less than helpful, always concluding they know exactly whats going on in your mind, even if they dont. i have the exact same problem. I know how hard it is to block out the love of others because for some reason you cant trust them enough to let them in. there is not easy answer. do you have any really close friends, that were with yu before all of this happened? talking to them might help. Talking to strangers about your problem definately isnt the best solution in this situation. nobody knows you better (besides yourself) than those who've been with you and who care about you. Just keep trying, and try to not look at anything in a negative way. life isnt about the way you look, no matter how many materialistic people will tell you otherwise. in the end all that matters is what the world looks like to you, not what the world thinks you look like.(im not sure if that made perfect sense but i hope you understand it well enough) take care of yourself. i hope i helped =]
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Alright. I had a similar issue. It's important that you feel good about yourself. 89lbs is most deffiantly not overweight. I'm sure you are a beautiful person, never feel bad about yourself. When you look in the mirror always think of one postive thing about yourself. Even if your in a rush you need to pick out one thing you love about yourself. I talked to a therapist when I was going through similar problems. I really liked talking to her because she never was going to tell anybody. She didn't know my family, or my friends, she didn't no anything about me, and most importantly to me she never judged me. It's a really nice thing to have somebody to talk about things and all they do is listen and sometimes they talk back and help you through things. You can't battle this alone. Sometimes through your school they can get you a therapist for free. Which is very nice. That is what I did. The prices vary depending on the therapist. But there is opionions to getting a free or very inexpensive therapist. And there quality won't be any less or anything. They will treat you very nicely. It's important you get through this. It's not a stage. So don't ever think that. If you have any questions or comments please please please write me. I really like your question because I can relate to it. If you want to write to me, I can help you also. I'm no therapist but I will do my best. Good Luck. I love feedback good and bad. My email is mollysie@yahoo.com. Please write me if you have any questions like I said. Ok I could go on forever!
Love,
Molly
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Go see a thearapist.
Yes, it's weird. But they are there to help you. And telling a stranger something personal is easier than tell someone you know. Well, some of the time.
As for them being expensive; you're right. Most are. But you can find a local organization that can offer you the service free or cheap. Churches, school, and sometimes doctors offices sometimes have conselors or therapists who are mroe than willing to talk with you.
They will give you the best advice on life. Trust me. My mother cheated on my father many times and I, too, have trust issues. It's hard to give any sort of advice on that. Especiialy since I've barely worked through it myself.
But seeing a thearpist will be highly beneficial for you.
Good Luck. :)
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First of all finding out that your dad, the one man you are supposed to be able to trust and look up to, has betrayed both your mum's and your trust is going to hit anyone hard and make you doubt people and yourself. If you can't trust you dad who can you etc, and that's totally normal not something to be written off as a "stage".
Having said that it's not something you should have to just cope with alone and if you can't talk to anyone you know about it, a stranger's worth a shot. You've really nothing to lose by trying out therapy. Perhaps go round and meet a few therapists before signing up to any one to try to find someone you feel comfortable with.
Bear in mind though that a therapist is just a face and body to listen and it would probably be a whole lot better to talk to your mum or sister in the long run as they are the people who genuinely love you and care about what you think. Even if it upsets your mum she'd probably rather feel you could talk to her and your sister may be more sympathetic than you think being in basically the same situation as you.
I really feel for you on this one. Talking to anyone is better than no-one at all
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If you feel like you should see one, see one. It won't be a waste of money, trust me. Just be sure to find a really good, experienced therapist. I know you feel like you're telling a stranger what you feel, but everything is CONFIDENTIAL, unless the information you give him/her is:
1. harming you or others or
2. endangering you or others
then, they MUST call Child Protection Services (CPS). Other than that, you should be fine. My parents went through a terrible divorce almost 3 years ago, and i'm STIL having trouble. Counseling takes time, and it's not all gonna get better the minute you start seeing a therapist. It will take a while. Just be optimistic.
And i definately know what it's like to be told that "It's just a phase/stage!". Well guess what, teens have struggles, and sometimes, THEY NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP. Make that clear to the people who don't think you need therapy. I am 14 too, I hate my body, I think i'm overweight, people can't trust me, and i think i have sooo many different disorders, but no one beleives me. WE SHOULD GO TOGETHER. lol. Sometimes, therapy is the only way to go before you do something stupid as hell. But if you don't go, please don't cut yourself, pop pills, or refer to drugs to solve your problems. Honestly? They make it worse LATER in life. Do what you feel is right. And don't worry about $$$, medical insurance should take care of it! =] Hope I did some good. x333
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First of all, i would like to tell you that alot of people get so depressed and sometimes suicidal, because they have family problems or because they are affected by their parents divorce, or if one of them cheated on the other.
But yet, not every problem has to be dealt with therapy and talking to a phsychiatrist.you can talk to anyone about it.
moreover, you don't have to talk to your mom nor your sister, you can just simply to talk to a friend of yours, someone that you really love and trust and has never let you done,plus,you can post your problems here on the site at anytime and we have alot of counsellers here who are willing to listen and help you.
Other than that, about the whole confidence thing, its something natural and THAT can be related to the teenage stage, because everyone's appearance changes when they reach this stage, so don't worry, and as long as you have a good personality and people like you, then you are simply a beautiful person from inside, and as long as you have that, then who cares about looks.
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hey imma ask you something....by any chance does your mom feel not confident because they way she feels about herself can reflect about the way you feel about yourself.you shouldnt let that influence you, seriously, and i think you should definetly open up to someone becausec if you dont then you will do something crazy.....god i know people that were gonna commit suicide cuz they dont open up to anyone....and going to a theripest is not a waste of time or money....this is your health were talkin about!!!for once just be a lil bit selfish by thinkin bout yourself and go top the theripist so what if he dont know you.and abvout your dad whats happened has happened get over it theres nothing you can do to change it!if the problems the money for the therapist then open up to yo mom shes your mom she loves you and will listen to ya nomater what dificulties shes faced wit your dad.....good luck
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take this from someone who has been to 5 psychtrist, its better to express your feelings. it helps alot. i understand not talking to your mom is hard but try and fill her in before its to late. it may hurt her, but she is your mother and she loves you, shes probally wondering why you wont talk to her...mayb u can leave a few details out but talk to her. if you still feel the need to talk to sum1 else, then id get a theripist
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